Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[MirnaMinkoff]

Agreed. Since Joe and Mallory got almost all of their tattoos during the course of their relationship, I wonder how/why it is that Joe managed to get quality work and Mallory didn't?

Went over to Instagram to grab a pic of Joe's tattoos as an example, and lo, there's a new post. Good lord this fucking dude is repulsive.
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Never seen dark circles quite like this, they're brown and go all the way up to his eyebrows and halfway down his cheeks. Reminder that he has gout.
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And one from Lily:
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At least Mallory doesn't look like she's actively considering suicide in this one!
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Nice neckbeard.
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I wish Mallory had chosen that atrociously ugly peacock for him. The actual line work is good but it’s just an ugly tattoo and looks like it will be a mostly black grey blob in coming years, which seems esp bad for a peacock design. Then again a grey, fat, goth peacock is an apt symbol for Joe.

I get the “let’s take turns taking photos of ourselves holding the baby” vibe from all of these. The adult is always the star, the baby a handy prop.

Guess Joe’s mom is still in town. Wonder how long mummy Joe will be sticking around? Bets on if her and Joey share a bed or he’s but her up in a hotel.

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

Who are the "Lavery ladies" Lily is referring to? She's not a Lavery, and there's only one lady in that photo. Is she misgendering Danny, or did she leave her name behind in her quest to become one with the polycule?

 

[Trianon]

Joe, ever committed to posting the most unflattering pics of Mallory ever, posts: "The future's / made of / virtual insanity"
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"That's OK, my marrow's just low."
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Woof, that hairline is getting BAD.

Mallory claims to hate cliches so make her permanently sport a giant one on her chest. If Mallory did like her new chest Joe wanted to ruin it. I’ve never seen her topless in photos and most pooners love going topless after a double mastectomy.

At least he has ruined his own chest just as bad, although not intentionally.

Spoiler: NSFW

Oh, found one of those things he is positive doesn't exist! A woman, he says?
link | archive

 

[monstrous bubo]

Thank you @Trianon i needed a laugh

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Woof, that hairline is getting BAD.


At least he has ruined his own chest just as bad, although not intentionally.

Spoiler: NSFW

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Oh, found one of those things he is positive doesn't exist! A woman, he says?
link | archive
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Ick, now Mallory getting all the bad tattoo seems like she’s just skin walking Joe. Color me shocked he gets 1990’s song lyrics tattooed across his chest.

Tattoo looks very fresh. I’d almost bet Joe plans to go to a magnetic fields show and wants to tear open his shirt and ask the band to sign his tits. He’s sure they will be impressed.

One of the most surprising thing is “art school” Lily wasn’t put off by their terrible aesthetic sensibilities.

Who are the "Lavery ladies" Lily is referring to? She's not a Lavery, and there's only one lady in that photo. Is she misgendering Danny, or did she leave her name behind in her quest to become one with the polycule?

Joe’s mom is there so I’m assuming Mummy Lavery and her dahling dooter.

 

[monstrous bubo]

I’d almost bet Joe plans to go to a magnetic fields show and wants to tear open his shirt and ask the band to sign his tits.

Rate me but I did see a vinyl copy of 69 on the bookshelves and thought „of course”. Lyrically clever, musically fairly straightforward. But where did I see this picture of the bookshelf behind the table? I googled and God blessed me with over an hour of Joe talking Zoom to the Psychosocial Foundation. Enjoy the gish gallop.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

So sad that they never learned to romanticize spinsterdom. They could have become eccentric, childless, witchy aunts, which is a very fun archetype that can be just as whimsical as their other literary touchstones. Shame.

Allow me to point out the great "left-wing" women activists of the first Progressive Era, especially in the Social Gospel, were mostly spinsters. (Many are now considered lesbians obviously.) They were all welcomed into elite society and treated as great minds. Yet you'd get the impression they would be condemned for much of their lifestyle choices by modern "progressives" for some reason.

But learning about this era also would hurt many of their myths about progressives in the past. Things like Prohibition had strong overlap with traditional conservative family women, alcohol was ruining society because it ruined the family, the Catholics, lower classes and immigrants (lots of crossover) were especially prone so the WASPs need to "regulate" them for the good of all. The women's suffrage movement wasn't a battle between bold progressive women and conservative men. Most of the Social Gospel progressives believed they could use the state to heavily regulate society into Heaven on Earth and so bring about the millennium. Eugenics was all over all of this, as proven science. So on and so on.

 

[AMHOLIO]

At least he has ruined his own chest just as bad, although not intentionally.

Genuinely would be surprised if Joe's tattoo quality was ALL good. I knew some of it had to be fucking ugly because he is a hipster and they're attracted to the ugly style.

One of the most surprising thing is “art school” Lily wasn’t put off by their terrible aesthetic sensibilities.

You'd be surprised how many art students have poor taste. Those who don't either know someone who do or had some shitty tattoos given by a roommate or friend for practice.

So on and so on.

It's funny because I can't help but think how they themselves would likely have chosen similar values if they were born in the past. Their ecconomic bracket is similar and some things, like eugenics, were thought of as a great idea since who the hell wants to birth a child with cerebral palsy into the world and condem them to pain, especially without the modern medicine of today. It's hard to convey to people what life was like back then and how different values made sense at that time.

 

[CoolFool]

Do Joe, Lilly, and Mallory just skip showering? Every photo I see of them, I swear you can smell through the screen.

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Thank you @Trianon i needed a laugh

First time in a while something has made me legit burst out laughing. I'm gonna start calling Joe lady walrus from now on.

 

[bei_rav]

The book she wrote about becoming a pooner she goes to great lengths to stress how she doesn't relate to MEN but to "other trans people". I wonder why she didn't go with the nonbinary "they/them" thing.

I think this is very normal in TiF land. All the IRL FTM I know would say the same -- my guess is due to the politically-induced terror of men (see: the recent man vs bear meme). There are TiFs who just flat out identify as men and ignore the hysteria but they're not in the culture and wow are they loathed.

 

[monstrous bubo]

FLOUNCE ALERT! FLOUNCE ALERT!

Our sneed is child abuse or something, so the sexy lady walrus is taking a Twitter hiatus to protect Bobby Joe (snip below, full text in spoiler).


link | ghost archive and archive.is not working again for Twitter

Spoiler: muh mentals

Friends, I’m off for a bit again. Rocco doesn’t need any GC energy anywhere near him. Their “protected beliefs” disgust me, and I end up getting depressed about the idiocy and cruelty of the human species, which is not a good attitude to have around a baby. So, bye again!

I’m sure I’ll be back again in a few months, at least until the next outrage—who knows, perhaps I will post a picture of some soup and Linehan will decide it looks unappetizing, and send scads of his followers to call me a fat, soupy pedo. What pleasures await.

Until when, I’ll be on instagram, where even my haters seem a little less unhinged. See you there, maybe xoxo

 

[AMHOLIO]

Walrus is so accurate and so concise. I wish "Elephant Seal" was more catchy, as our laydee walrus has shades of that as well as the Elephant Seal's mating habits.

But Walruses are much FATTER and WRINKLY-er so I approve.

 

[OttoWest]

What a fragile little pissant.



(Also FAT.)

 

[CoolFool]

Hmm, we know he reads this thread. What if us calling him Lady Walrus is what set off this round of whining?

Not that I expect jowly Joe to actually stay off the internet, people like him are too addicted. The fact that he says he will still be active on Instagram proves he can't quit the internet.

 

[kazuhiro]

FLOUNCE ALERT!

Just before the flounce, there was this:




Plenty of handmaidens too.

Also, Lily and the Lavs were featured in "Pseuds Corner" in Private Eye recently.

 

[CyrusKissFanClub]

„Hot dads are the hottest” is a true statement, but why it was added to a picture of skinhead Tard Baby playing pretendsies with Bobby Joe is a mystery.

That sycophant is a failed academic who is now a real estate agent.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0952695112444983

She published her PhD thesis as a journal article, which was the extent of her publication history.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Just before the flounce, there was this:
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Plenty of handmaidens too.
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Also, the Lavs were featured in "Pseuds Corner" in Private Eye recently.
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Joe is shocked by the “bitch please” response from mentioning how terribly, glowingly, tired he is after three weeks with a baby (plus to two other abled bodied adults in the house?) Joe just likes to post ugly vainglorious selfies and gets mad when ppl think he’s gross. The baby prop shield has not changed anything. Nobody would have paid attention if he didn’t make himself the star of the post.

There are many women currently breastfeeding newborns while caring for several other children under 6 right now.

Nobody has much sympathy or cares about the non-breastfeeding father waxing about being radiantly tired three weeks into parenthood.

I do look forward to updates from Joe in a few months. If he looks like an 80 year old with a bad dye job after three weeks of living with Bobby Joe, the first year is going to go gangbusters. Then the fun of walking starts and baby proofing and adding baby equipment to a two bedroom, 4th floor walk up with 3 adults and 2 dogs.

Also Joe referring to the baby as “mildest” is creepy, like Bobby Joe is veal.

 

[Elwin Ransom]

I do look forward to updates from Joe in a few months. If he looks 85 after three week living with Bobby Joe the first year is going to go gangbusters, then the fun of walking starts.

My question would be how much of that is performative. Joe doesn't strike me as the type to actually shoulder the majority of 2AM wakeups or hour-long crying sessions. I read this as more him skinwalking the sorts of things that actual mothers say about the first few months after childbirth.

That said, I agree that toddler Rocco will be an exciting arc.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

My question would be how much of that is performative. Joe doesn't strike me as the type to actually shoulder the majority of 2AM wakeups or hour-long crying sessions. I read this as more him skinwalking the sorts of things that actual mothers say about the first few months after childbirth.

That said, I agree that toddler Rocco will be an exciting arc.

He probably got up a 7 am so Lilly could catch a few hours of sleep after getting very little during the night. Assuming she’s breastfeeding, and getting some sleep after the sunrise feed, if there’s an extra set of hands, is pretty common.

Yes, Joe a 43 year old man is larping tired new mom. Posting that ugly selfie just confirms it. Why he wants to post his mug, or the baby, on Twitter is beyond me. Probably because he thinks it good material for his next book. GC bullied new trans mum for loving her baby! He just can’t get the attention with text only.

I actually wonder how well any of them will be sleeping in that apartment. It’s mostly French doors and thin interior walls. Hopefully Mal was smart enough to get earplugs. I figure Joe, Lilly and Bobby Joe share a room and Mallory gets her own cuck shed with her dogs.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

the non-breastfeeding father

But hey, if pointing out that Joe is fat, and old, and also obese, and looks 25 years older than stated age, and incidentally is rather bulky, ungraceful (haha), clunky, elephantine, saggy, baggy, corpulent, and looks as though he smells like a prostatitis ward at a charity hospital...

If that's what it takes to get him to stop posting pics of his innocent helpless child with suggestive captions for his pedophile friends...

Then someone break out the thesaurus and stoke the fires and let's keep roasting.