Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[kazuhiro]

A minor mention of Joe in The Critic:
On She/Her Majesty’s Secret Service / archive

 

[Dr. Butt]

Fuck me, what kind of loser feels the need to refer to themselves as "Professor Firstname Lastname" in any setting outside of work, let alone fucking TWITTER? What a weak little failure of a human. If a professor feels the need to do this, they shouldn't be teaching.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Fuck me, what kind of loser feels the need to refer to themselves as "Professor Firstname Lastname" in any setting outside of work, let alone fucking TWITTER? What a weak little failure of a human. If a professor feels the need to do this, they shouldn't be teaching.

Joe is the walking definition of an insecure man. It would appear even Mallory’s book agent has to call him Dr Joseph.

He used to go by “Jos Lavery” because of course he did. I found this ridiculous article

https://stateofthediscipline.acla.org/entry/minimal-criticism

he wrote a decade ago but found this paragraph particularly funny:

OK, this one is normative: by 2025, I hope, we will have collectively worked out how best to use, and cite, Wikipedia. Our refusal to do so can only be predicated on the assumption that knowledge-production requires, if not an actual author, at least a figure whose author-function can be provisionally stabilized. That assumption is no longer defensible for any humanistic discipline, but surely not one of which “what most needs to be preserved […] is metadisciplinarity”, as Saussy so aptly claims. (23) It was a rather depressing moment when I realized that there was almost no subject on which I knew more than Wikipedia – there might be a handful of pages, and then a larger number of topics about which I know something, but for which there is at present no entry. I’m not overly bothered about it any more. My disciplinary training has furnished me with plenty of advantages over an online encyclopedia, and I have learned to live with the castration of my social performance of expertise. But given the work Wikipedia does for me, in my research as well as my teaching, and given how rewarding and pleasurable that work frequently is, time to give the devil his due.

Between his academic word masturbation and psychoanalytic fart huffing I don’t understand how anyone can stay awake for more than a few minutes when he starts yammering. Even more amazing that Mallory found this droning bogman fascinating and instead of rolling her eyes and getting to the other side of the room post haste, she married him. She’s got to plead with the god she doesn’t believe in for him just to shut the fuck up at least a few times a day at minimum.

 

[Haram-Habibi]

Bobby Joe's too cute to be Lavery's kid.

I'll die laughing if it turns out Lily cucked the polycule.

 

[Bookwork]

they shouldn't be teaching.

Fortunately for the planet, Joe rarely teaches and seems devoted to teaching even less.

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

Joe Lavery, Ph.D., doesn't know more than Wikipedia about anything but a tiny handful of topics it covers? That's just sad. All that education and all of that cultural yearning, but no discipline to actually become a cultured intellectual.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Where's his argument for citing the World Book? Pretty amazing that this guy thinks encyclopedias are new.

Kind of weird how he'll bravely stand up for his stance that nothing should be a crime by mocking the low intellect of his critics, then some woman insults him and he has to stay away for the baby.

 

[Trianon]

Just before the flounce, there was this:
View attachment 5952446
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Plenty of handmaidens too.
View attachment 5952450
Also, Lily and the Lavs were featured in "Pseuds Corner" in Private Eye recently.
View attachment 5952451

that "hot, fertile, available for anal" gag is a prime example of his schtick. Yes, I understand he's trying to say that GCs are Pick Me's who fit a very narrow definition of womanhood that caters to men. But that's misogynistic and gross when women say it, and even more so coming out of this glob. Of course, he thinks all of those adjectives do apply to him, and he's proud of them. He is just pretending he isn't.

 

[AMHOLIO]

that "hot, fertile, available for anal" gag is a prime example of his schtick. Yes, I understand he's trying to say that GCs are Pick Me's who fit a very narrow definition of womanhood that caters to men. But that's misogynistic and gross when women say it, and even more so coming out of this glob. Of course, he thinks all of those adjectives do apply to him, and he's proud of them. He is just pretending he isn't.

If the good Dr. Grace Laverly, Ph.D. wants to be taken seriously as an academic, why would he use an insult that Trump would use on Xitter dot com?

 

[Potatis Salad]

Caption reads: "my son is weary with milk and i weary with toil (going to open houses because we have to move. if you know of an apartment we can live in please tell me)"

Uh-oh!

 

[Savoie]

Caption reads: "my son is weary with milk and i weary with toil (going to open houses because we have to move. if you know of an apartment we can live in please tell me)"
View attachment 5954971
Uh-oh!

"Have to move" is such a weird way to phrase it. Are they being evicted? Is their lease not being renewed? Or is this just a strange way of saying "Joe and Lily finally looked at the budget I calculated and realized they can't afford Dolce & Gabbana AND this luxurious walkup"?

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

"Have to move."

I wonder if the floor plan became untenable with a screaming baby. It looked like an insane place for three adults to raise a child.

In 2022, Joe made $95,000.

Lily made about $75k.

Mallory isn't working.

The extra little things Joe does don't amount to much, and the advances on books with academic presses are very low, just a few thousand dollars.

After taxes, they probably bring in about $10,000/month.

Their apartment alone costs $5500/month before any utilities.

You can't live in a 1400 sqft airy apartment in Brooklyn on $170k any more. Even people with normal lifestyle habits would struggle.

But of course, that's just the beginning of the Laverys' struggle, because Lily's supposed to be teaching in person in the fall, and Joe is going to have to go to Berkeley, and if either of them doesn't, they'll likely have to repay some or all of their sabbatical salary.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Caption reads: "my son is weary with milk and i weary with toil (going to open houses because we have to move. if you know of an apartment we can live in please tell me)"
View attachment 5954971
Uh-oh!

Lol. You mean the 4th floor walk up with 2 bedrooms and French doors for walls isn’t going to work for an infant, 3 adults and 2 dogs? I’m shocked! I wonder if they just had this realization or the landlord raised the rent. They moved to NYC in the covid slump, rent has sky rocketed since then.

Joe and Mal were fine as two adults living in an 2 bed apartment in Brooklyn. As I have said many times in this thread, any couple trying to raise a small child in NYC is fucked unless they are quite wealthy. With these idiots you have an extra adult, so you need three bedrooms and good luck with that in the current NYC market.

The place sucks, or is way above market in a new dry wall and glass cube building, if it’s having an open house in NYC. Good apartments are snapped up within 48 hours.

I see Queens or Long Island in their future if they are retarded enough to try and stay in NYC, but I’m sure only Manhattan or Brooklyn qualify as NYC to Joe.

Joe and Lilly really ruined the dream of living as hip urban queers in NYC by breeding.

Mallory should just go get her own apartment. She’s the only person, as a professional writer, that has any good reason to live in NYC. Finding a studio or one bedroom for herself and dogs would be a piece of cake compared to trying to find and afford a place for 3 adults, one infant and two dogs in NYC.

If Joe was so besotted with NYC he should never had a baby with Lilly. Now he gets to prioritize the needs of a child over his own. Moving to Michigan where housing is much cheaper and child friendly is the sensible thing to do. I’m sure Joe will give Lilly lots of moral support for moving back to Michigan on her own with the baby.

 

[Potatis Salad]

But of course, that's just the beginning of the Laverys' struggle, because Lily's supposed to be teaching in person in the fall, and Joe is going to have to go to Berkeley, and if either of them doesn't, they'll likely have to repay some or all of their sabbatical salary.

I can't remember if someone in this thread has already done this for the Fall 2024 semester, apologies if I'm repeating info:

On the Michigan State University Class Search page, you can search for "Woodruff" within the Art History department. We know that she only teaches within the Art History department because of the "Courses" tab on her MSU directory page (archive).

I get two results for Fall 2024:

Now, the individual class description pages do not say that Lily Woodruff is going to be the prof, but when I search the list of classes for another random name ("Jones"), I get no results. The attribute indicating the instructor must be hidden, but it's searchable. In Fall 2024, Lily is scheduled to teach on Monday and Wednesday afternoons (3:00pm-4:50pm) and Monday evenings (6:00pm-8:50pm).

It also appears that she's teaching an online asynchronous course over the summer, starting on May 13th. This will most likely involve recorded lectures for students to view in their own time, and papers and projects turned in online. Lily will potentially have a good chunk of work to do if she has never taught this before and needs to freshly record all her lectures and stuff:


Meanwhile, over on the UC Berkeley Class Search page, 0w0 what's this? Joe? Our Joe? Teaching in Fall 2024????????????

Perhaps so, perhaps not. Even though this is listed as "In-Person Instruction" in the schedule, if the offering is exclusively for students writing their dissertations, it's highly unlikely to involve an in-person scheduled lecture time.

[Note, I'm not archiving the links to the Schedule of Classes search pages, I inserted them not because they contain content, but to make it easier for anyone else to repeat the same searches I did or try different search terms.]

 

[monstrous bubo]

Moving to Michigan where housing is much cheaper and child friendly is the sensible thing to do. I’m sure Joe will give Lilly lots of moral support for moving back to Michigan on her own with the baby.

Let’s throw out another option: new jobs. In 2022 Joe was expecting to make full Professor and get a reduction in teaching load. He confessed he was a bit burnt out. Since then he has failed to get the promotion, and is now throwing shade at Berkeley. Lily obviously likes NYC. Why not try to get jobs in the tri-state area? The stint at John’s Hopkins could be seen as a trial run / network g opportunity.

A new job might require a drop from the Ivy League for Joe, but he would save time, money and energy not flying to California, and he could sell it as a conscious rejection of stuffy transphobic Berkeley for a groovy progressive place where he can build up a groundbreaking centre for queer scholarship or whatever. It’s not unusual for a hiring university to offer a job to a spouse as an inducement, and an institution that wanted Joe could stretch this to polycule members.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

But of course, that's just the beginning of the Laverys' struggle, because Lily's supposed to be teaching in person in the fall, and Joe is going to have to go to Berkeley, and if either of them doesn't, they'll likely have to repay some or all of their sabbatical salary.

I find it bizarre that they burned up their sabbatical year right before the baby was born to live NYC fanfic. Juggling going back to work and taking care of five month old, after a year plus of farting around, will pack a wallop. They will regret not having that sabbatical time available when Bobby Joe is a few years older.

You can't live in a 1400 sqft airy apartment in Brooklyn on $170k any more. Even people with normal lifestyle habits would struggle.

But of course, that's just the beginning of the Laverys' struggle, because Lily's supposed to be teaching in person in the fall, and Joe is going to have to go to Berkeley, and if either of them doesn't, they'll likely have to repay some or all of their sabbatical salary.

Mallory better be careful or her new job will be Bobby Joe’s nanny. Her $20 an hour is way less than childcare will cost in NYC. They can expect to pay $2500 a month for daycare in Brooklyn for a non-potty trained child. I

Mallory should gtfo before she gets bullied into being Joe and Lilly’s full time babysitter to complete the total humiliation arc. I bet they won’t even pay her because Mal is the daddy! They are just now comprehending how much a baby is going to inconvenience their lives and Mallory is the easiest, and cheapest, solution.

It could be some gothic horror. They never got around to emailing that lawyer about all that legal parents stuff, so as we knew Mallory had zero legal rights to her husband’s girlfriend’s baby. She might start caring about little Bobby Joe, like she does her dogs, fear leaving him alone to be raised with these selfish midwits. I could see Mallory being tricked into doing all the heavy lifting of rearing a child that isn’t hers just so Prof Jos’ can keep up with his Twitter feed, his psychoanalysis and making students at Berkeley memorize blow job poems.

@monstrous bubo I would be shocked if Joe could get any decent job, besides assistant professor, in NYC. Leaving a tenured position at Berkeley, after a spotty record the previous years, would raise eyebrows. The gossip from Berkeley wouldn’t be kind if they asked about, and they definitely would. Joe just flaked the fuck out as soon as he got tenure and that’s a huge red flag for any university.

Academic positions for “gender studies” and troon BS would be ridiculous in NYC, as well as English Lit. They also have so many over-educated LGBTQ academics in NYC already, either already working in the university system waiting for a position to open for advancement or alumni working jobs waiting for an opening to apply for, that I can’t see Joe getting any decent jobs in an English Lit dept that isn’t a community college.

I’d bet Joe has already explored some options, or sniffed around, about getting a job at Columbia or NYU and didn’t get a very positive response.

Same goes for Lilly. NYC probably has more art history PhD and MFA grads than anywhere else in the country. I can’t imagine how competitive a position teaching art at a college in NYC would be.

 

[monstrous bubo]

I would be shocked if Joe could get any decent job, besides assistant professor, in NYC.

Yeah me too, but tri-state widens the possibilities. Hell, even commuting to Ohio would be better than cross-country. He is vain enough to try for NYC though, but will have to settle for West VA, unless Oberlin is feeling generous as well as crazy. Much will hinge on how unaffordable the next trailer park is, plus the growing expenses for Bobby Joe.

 

[Trianon]

Yeah me too, but tri-state widens the possibilities. Hell, even commuting to Ohio would be better than cross-country. He is vain enough to try for NYC though, but will have to settle for West VA, unless Oberlin is feeling generous as well as crazy. Much will hinge on how unaffordable the next trailer park is, plus the growing expenses for Bobby Joe.

Joe will never work or live in a state that isn't California or New York. D.C. I think is his next shot, which he is attempting to do. Anything else means he can't properly romanticize his every move in an Instagrammable way. When they took that "road trip," all he could do was take pictures in an empty cafeteria with his companions looking miserable. It's not good for The Brand.

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

Even if Joe had to make it work on a low salary in NYC at some cruddy low-tier school, they could make it if they went and lived 2 hours away in Scranton. With Joe only having to commute in a couple times a week, it could work.

Joe would probably do anything he could to keep his Berkeley tenure and be a "visiting professor" elsewhere. And the colleges that might hire him would probably prefer that, too. Lily won't have similar luck, Michigan State visiting professor isn't especially distinguished. She's the one who is the really tricky part. And she's the one with the clearest legal rights to the baby, and the one whose move "back home" would reduce rent the most.

If Joe wasn't an idiot, he'd be getting a visiting appointment at MSU or U of Michigan or one of the smaller schools in the central/southern Michigan area. They'd be happy to have a dapper coastal transwoman "grace" their faculty, and $170k goes pretty far in East Lansing.

 

[bei_rav]

Mallory should gtfo before she gets bullied into being Joe and Lilly’s full time babysitter to complete the total humiliation arc. I bet they won’t even pay her because Mal is the daddy

I know a woman this happened to in a polycule (such a radical, subversive lifestyle!). 15 years later she's considered a used-up resource as the kids would now rather play with the edgier "fun parents." And since her career took a nosedive from the childrearing she now doesn't even have a decent escape route