Warhammer 40k

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
There's a Word Bearer called Sargon in The Talon of Horus. I know it's just a normal old timey name, divorced from the fart-huffing Applebee's waiter who wouldn't even rape Jess Phillips, but was super distracting in the audiobook version whenever anybody would talk about or refer to 'Sargon'. In my head, I was picturing Carl's fat, bearded, smugly chuckling visage.
Carl Benjamin as a Word Bearer is disgustingly fitting, I can't think of a single Space Marine legion more fitting for him.
 
He's not just a ganger, he's a brainless raided out chud slaver or something.

View attachment 5956291

And reading that excerpt, the guy isn't just a faggy leftist, he's a PHENOMINALLY SHIT writer, even for Black Library.

Screenshot 2024-05-03 09.55.12.png

 
Found another excerpt of the 'Sarkon' segment written by the visionary Mike Brooks:

Sarkon Aggad chuckled smugly as they approached his soiled vox-throne, his eyes raking up and down their forms, appraising them - "I wouldn't even enslave you" he rumbled. Amused by his own wit, his bloated gut trembling perilously as he laughed. Cowering behind his jiggling, undulating flesh a young boy scrubbed feverishly at the gas extractor connected to the rear of the throne.

"By the Emperor are even the young not safe from your predation?!" Cried Mree Soo in outrage.
"It depends on the child really"

In an instant her autopistol spat a hail of fire at the dopamine-deprived hulk, rounds impotently bouncing off his armoured frame. Sarkon stood now, his round face pink in rage "YOU ARE ACTING LIKE HUMAN TYRANIDS. DO YOU THINK IMPERIAL CITIZENS ACT LIKE THAT"
 
I have no idea why the editor did no go and told Mike "no, you are not putting that shit into the book, what is wrong with you?".
It is a shame, becuase he wrote the primiarch book about Alpha legion, which was very good.
Yes but also wrote some absolute ass Alpha Legion book too
 
All the better, that will mean less book sales down the line. It’s a real funny coincidence that any novel with some ugly bitch on the cover doesn’t sell out.

You have to remember these BL authors get comically low amounts of money for their work.

All good things to those who wait.
That explains why GW is more than happy to piss off the lore nuts and consider all the fluff to be non-canon. The BL books are an afterthought to them.

I think the blind idiot god that is GW will purge their underperforming assets and replace them with AI or the fucking foreign hordes so they don't have to pay them more.
Probably the latter, so you can still have the human element while paying them even less.

Sargon is absolutely loving the fact that he's basically part of Warhammer canon. He doesn't care that his detractors are using his country's biggest cultural export to kill him because he knows the writer was seething with every single word they typed out.
They really shouldn't have done that. All it did was tell Sargon that GW is really mad at him and that he's made a difference. It would've been better if they just ignored his ass and tried to forget he existed. But now, he knows he's gotten to them, and that's the best news an internet activist can possibly get.

I mean, it's not the negative kind of attention where the cops were investigating him and the UKIP party members were getting drilled with questions on the hot seat because he joined UKIP. This time, the attention comes free of charge, and without the negative connotations. Far from needing to defend himself, Carl Benjamin can point to this instance and say, ''I've made a difference'' in front of his fans.
 
They write the books to push the plastic.
Exactly. Which is why trampling over the lore to push ideologies (Female Custodes) or more plastic (Primaris Marines) doesn't really bother them. They've done it before, they can do it again.

It's always funny to me that a lot of fans hold on to the lore like it's sacred scripture or something, when GW has outright stated multiple times that 40K lore is the equivalent of glorified fanfiction, as opposed to other franchises where the lore is actually canon. At this point, the only thing canon in the eyes of GW is the tabletop wargame which they make the most money out of.

Which again, is why I see the bru-ha-ha with the female Custodes to be completely pointless. It's non-canon lore. You can just as easily ignore it and just paint your Custodes and pretend that they're all men. More damaging are the nerfs they introduced, because that shit will actually matter if you take your Custodes out to play. I was planning on getting a Custodes army before this, but after they got nerfed, I might as well settle for a Dark Angels army instead in the future.
 
Last edited:
I remember going through Ao3 trying to find some horrors and started looking through the 40k stories on a whim. I found a surprisingly decent one that had a comment saying "You write 40k better than most of the BL guys!"
The author responded with "That's not the compliment you think it is."
What's the implication supposed to be, that BL writers suck on purpose?
 
  • Like
Reactions: LORD IMPERATOR
Carl Benjamin as a Word Bearer is disgustingly fitting, I can't think of a single Space Marine legion more fitting for him.
I have a vision of a WB Sargon trying to Warrior Lodge some Sons of Horus (da sektur) with his GG2 (Chaos) plans and being laughed at by some good old cthonian boys.
I remember going through Ao3 trying to find some horrors and started looking through the 40k stories on a whim. I found a surprisingly decent one that had a comment saying "You write 40k better than most of the BL guys!"
The author responded with "That's not the compliment you think it is."
It isn’t hard, one of the guys over in the HH general on /tg/ did a battle report and his wording was so good we were all clamouring for the dreadnought main character of that engagement, Grond.
 
Sargon is canon, what will Trump be?

This is a hilarious jumping the shark... no the megalodon... no the charcarodon moment.
The fifth Chaos God. The one that the other four and the Emperor have to join forces against.

What's the implication supposed to be, that BL writers suck on purpose?
That probably IS the implication. As if you're telling someone "you're the smartest man in a cave full of retards!"
 
I don't think he was saying they suck on purpose, just so many of the stories they write suck, so being told your better isn't that much of a compliment.
He's not wrong. It's a problem that occurs in a lot of licensed fiction. The corpo higher-ups aren't looking for quality writers, they're looking for people who can meet deadlines and mandates and won't fuss too much about IP rights or pay rates. The actual quality of the writing is not a major concern for them. It's how mouth-breathers like Chuck Wendig got to write for Star Wars post-Disney buyout and how guys like Thorpe and ADB routinely get away with shit writing and flat-out retconning other authors' books just because they can.
 
I need some advice from people with an eye for color. I decided to do these chaos star bases for my Deathshroud Bodyguard in a really vibrant color scheme with greengray faded out colors on the top layer and iyanden yellow contrasts in the recesses. This had the unintended effect of making the base rim just about impossible to decide on a color for...each one I try to mentally put on there just does not work for me.

I normally paint all my base rims black, but here I sincerely doubt it would look good. White would be too washed out and garish. I don't want to just totally ruin the overall vibe of the mini...what color can I paint the rim of this base without ruining it? Should I just do a neater yellow? Because right now the rim is messy since I thought I would be covering over it in black.

View attachment 5955496
Grey/silver but just darker than the silver on top of the base. The eye is drawn to whatever is brightest first, then whatever has the most congrast. the rim isn't what you're showing off so be subtle. I'd Photoshop a demo but with what the mini is on, it'd blend in anyway.
 
"YOU ARE ACTING LIKE HUMAN TYRANIDS. DO YOU THINK IMPERIAL CITIZENS ACT LIKE THAT"

This is something I would expect from a "My Immortal"-level fanfiction written by a teenager. God what a shitty writer. I don't even know who the real world guy is that this villain is based upon whom this writer clearly hates, but he is owning himself far more than his intended target.
 
So they're taking the enforcers of what they admit to be an evil, fascist regime full of oppression and superstition, and coloring them in Pride colors to signify that these Marines stand up for the LGBTQ cause.

That's like having a Waffen-SS officer wave a pride flag while marching across the street.
A lot of the upper echelons of the waffen s s were flaming homosexuals
gay Nazis is actually something that has a lot of historical truth to it there was even a large crossover between the gay community and national socialists in the early leather scene.
But that's the homosexuals who view women as icky and being with men as the ultimate expression of masculinity that's where you get people like Greg Johnson mishim
Of course they did. GW was infested with leftism from the start, if 40K's original story was any indication. I'm not even talking about the usual hippie counterculture leftism, but instead, the kind of leftism that had burning, seething hatred for people like Thatcher, Reagan, and other conservatives from religious and military backgrounds.

Sure, the suits were there to temper their leftism, but those guys only care about money, so if Blackrock hands them a check and tells them more will come if they remain on the Left, even those suits would nope out of trying to rein in the pinkos.
The left is truly not capable of creating good satire of right wing beliefs there's a reason all of the beliefs are complete caricatures and accidentally creates stories whether on ironically making fun of themselves see The Hunger Games mocking rootless cosmopolitans unintentionally.
And that story basically being the small town royal communities rising up against cosmopolitan out of touch freaks

also creating a character like the God emperor of mankind who represents humanities on breakable will surviving against all odds is something people would support people who like the elves literally like degenerate societies that got what was coming to them but think that they don't deserve it.


The God emperor literally has a museum dedicated to all of humanity's achievements including a broken pot which was the first pot

you basically believes humanity should be the most powerful race in the Galaxy and believes in utilitarianism taken to its logical extreme

also the imperial man should have a 0 tolerance policy for homosexuality it shows absolutely no useful purpose you can have your cake and eat it too with settings or else you start becoming massively inconsistent if you're shot in the face for heresy inhumanity needs soldiers why would they want non reproductive sex to happen
 
Back