Warhammer 40k

[StevieLasVegas]

Wow. That's some shit ass writing

 

[Foltest]

I have no idea why the editor did no go and told Mike "no, you are not putting that shit into the book, what is wrong with you?".
It is a shame, becuase he wrote the primiarch book about Alpha legion, which was very good.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

I have no idea why the editor did no go and told Mike "no, you are not putting that shit into the book, what is wrong with you?".
It is a shame, becuase he wrote the primiarch book about Alpha legion, which was very good.

Yes but also wrote some absolute ass Alpha Legion book too

 

[RA-5C Vigilante]

I remember going through Ao3 trying to find some horrors and started looking through the 40k stories on a whim. I found a surprisingly decent one that had a comment saying "You write 40k better than most of the BL guys!"
The author responded with "That's not the compliment you think it is."

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

All the better, that will mean less book sales down the line. It’s a real funny coincidence that any novel with some ugly bitch on the cover doesn’t sell out.

You have to remember these BL authors get comically low amounts of money for their work.

All good things to those who wait.

That explains why GW is more than happy to piss off the lore nuts and consider all the fluff to be non-canon. The BL books are an afterthought to them.

I think the blind idiot god that is GW will purge their underperforming assets and replace them with AI or the fucking foreign hordes so they don't have to pay them more.

Probably the latter, so you can still have the human element while paying them even less.

Sargon is absolutely loving the fact that he's basically part of Warhammer canon. He doesn't care that his detractors are using his country's biggest cultural export to kill him because he knows the writer was seething with every single word they typed out.

They really shouldn't have done that. All it did was tell Sargon that GW is really mad at him and that he's made a difference. It would've been better if they just ignored his ass and tried to forget he existed. But now, he knows he's gotten to them, and that's the best news an internet activist can possibly get.

I mean, it's not the negative kind of attention where the cops were investigating him and the UKIP party members were getting drilled with questions on the hot seat because he joined UKIP. This time, the attention comes free of charge, and without the negative connotations. Far from needing to defend himself, Carl Benjamin can point to this instance and say, ''I've made a difference'' in front of his fans.

 

[ForTheHoard]

That explains why GW is more than happy to piss off the lore nuts and consider all the fluff to be non-canon. The BL books are an afterthought to them.

They write the books to push the plastic.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

They write the books to push the plastic.

Exactly. Which is why trampling over the lore to push ideologies (Female Custodes) or more plastic (Primaris Marines) doesn't really bother them. They've done it before, they can do it again.

It's always funny to me that a lot of fans hold on to the lore like it's sacred scripture or something, when GW has outright stated multiple times that 40K lore is the equivalent of glorified fanfiction, as opposed to other franchises where the lore is actually canon. At this point, the only thing canon in the eyes of GW is the tabletop wargame which they make the most money out of.

Which again, is why I see the bru-ha-ha with the female Custodes to be completely pointless. It's non-canon lore. You can just as easily ignore it and just paint your Custodes and pretend that they're all men. More damaging are the nerfs they introduced, because that shit will actually matter if you take your Custodes out to play. I was planning on getting a Custodes army before this, but after they got nerfed, I might as well settle for a Dark Angels army instead in the future.

 

[Male Idiot]

Sargon is canon, what will Trump be?

This is a hilarious jumping the shark... no the megalodon... no the charcarodon moment.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

I remember going through Ao3 trying to find some horrors and started looking through the 40k stories on a whim. I found a surprisingly decent one that had a comment saying "You write 40k better than most of the BL guys!"
The author responded with "That's not the compliment you think it is."

What's the implication supposed to be, that BL writers suck on purpose?

 

[Humble Architect]

Carl Benjamin as a Word Bearer is disgustingly fitting, I can't think of a single Space Marine legion more fitting for him.

I have a vision of a WB Sargon trying to Warrior Lodge some Sons of Horus (da sektur) with his GG2 (Chaos) plans and being laughed at by some good old cthonian boys.

I remember going through Ao3 trying to find some horrors and started looking through the 40k stories on a whim. I found a surprisingly decent one that had a comment saying "You write 40k better than most of the BL guys!"
The author responded with "That's not the compliment you think it is."

It isn’t hard, one of the guys over in the HH general on /tg/ did a battle report and his wording was so good we were all clamouring for the dreadnought main character of that engagement, Grond.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

Sargon is canon, what will Trump be?

This is a hilarious jumping the shark... no the megalodon... no the charcarodon moment.

The fifth Chaos God. The one that the other four and the Emperor have to join forces against.

What's the implication supposed to be, that BL writers suck on purpose?

That probably IS the implication. As if you're telling someone "you're the smartest man in a cave full of retards!"

 

[RA-5C Vigilante]

What's the implication supposed to be, that BL writers suck on purpose?

I don't think he was saying they suck on purpose, just so many of the stories they write suck, so being told you're better isn't that much of a compliment.

 

[Second Missing Primarch]

I don't think he was saying they suck on purpose, just so many of the stories they write suck, so being told your better isn't that much of a compliment.

He's not wrong. It's a problem that occurs in a lot of licensed fiction. The corpo higher-ups aren't looking for quality writers, they're looking for people who can meet deadlines and mandates and won't fuss too much about IP rights or pay rates. The actual quality of the writing is not a major concern for them. It's how mouth-breathers like Chuck Wendig got to write for Star Wars post-Disney buyout and how guys like Thorpe and ADB routinely get away with shit writing and flat-out retconning other authors' books just because they can.

 

[An Ghost]

I need some advice from people with an eye for color. I decided to do these chaos star bases for my Deathshroud Bodyguard in a really vibrant color scheme with greengray faded out colors on the top layer and iyanden yellow contrasts in the recesses. This had the unintended effect of making the base rim just about impossible to decide on a color for...each one I try to mentally put on there just does not work for me.

I normally paint all my base rims black, but here I sincerely doubt it would look good. White would be too washed out and garish. I don't want to just totally ruin the overall vibe of the mini...what color can I paint the rim of this base without ruining it? Should I just do a neater yellow? Because right now the rim is messy since I thought I would be covering over it in black.

View attachment 5955496

Grey/silver but just darker than the silver on top of the base. The eye is drawn to whatever is brightest first, then whatever has the most congrast. the rim isn't what you're showing off so be subtle. I'd Photoshop a demo but with what the mini is on, it'd blend in anyway.

 

[Cats]

"YOU ARE ACTING LIKE HUMAN TYRANIDS. DO YOU THINK IMPERIAL CITIZENS ACT LIKE THAT"

This is something I would expect from a "My Immortal"-level fanfiction written by a teenager. God what a shitty writer. I don't even know who the real world guy is that this villain is based upon whom this writer clearly hates, but he is owning himself far more than his intended target.

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

So they're taking the enforcers of what they admit to be an evil, fascist regime full of oppression and superstition, and coloring them in Pride colors to signify that these Marines stand up for the LGBTQ cause.

That's like having a Waffen-SS officer wave a pride flag while marching across the street.

A lot of the upper echelons of the waffen s s were flaming homosexuals
gay Nazis is actually something that has a lot of historical truth to it there was even a large crossover between the gay community and national socialists in the early leather scene.
But that's the homosexuals who view women as icky and being with men as the ultimate expression of masculinity that's where you get people like Greg Johnson mishim

Of course they did. GW was infested with leftism from the start, if 40K's original story was any indication. I'm not even talking about the usual hippie counterculture leftism, but instead, the kind of leftism that had burning, seething hatred for people like Thatcher, Reagan, and other conservatives from religious and military backgrounds.

Sure, the suits were there to temper their leftism, but those guys only care about money, so if Blackrock hands them a check and tells them more will come if they remain on the Left, even those suits would nope out of trying to rein in the pinkos.

The left is truly not capable of creating good satire of right wing beliefs there's a reason all of the beliefs are complete caricatures and accidentally creates stories whether on ironically making fun of themselves see The Hunger Games mocking rootless cosmopolitans unintentionally.
And that story basically being the small town royal communities rising up against cosmopolitan out of touch freaks

also creating a character like the God emperor of mankind who represents humanities on breakable will surviving against all odds is something people would support people who like the elves literally like degenerate societies that got what was coming to them but think that they don't deserve it.


The God emperor literally has a museum dedicated to all of humanity's achievements including a broken pot which was the first pot

you basically believes humanity should be the most powerful race in the Galaxy and believes in utilitarianism taken to its logical extreme

also the imperial man should have a 0 tolerance policy for homosexuality it shows absolutely no useful purpose you can have your cake and eat it too with settings or else you start becoming massively inconsistent if you're shot in the face for heresy inhumanity needs soldiers why would they want non reproductive sex to happen

 

[Miriam Margoyles]

Forgive me for a bit of a rant here, but I've never had a particularly high opinion of Guy from Midwinter Minis, and having seen his latest video, I just had to come here and register my absolute disgust at it and say that if I had a single nano-molecule of respect left for that man, it has absolutely and completely fucking dissipated.

The video opens with a real of sort of 'poor me, poor me' vibe, as he melancholicly reminisces about 'one of the worst times in my life' (that being the separation of him and his former wife, that he cheated on while she was pregnant, by the way - a detail he deigns to leave out), before pivoting to a not-so-humble humblebrag about how many views he got on his video converting a Nurgle land raider (which I personally happen to think looks shit), then proclaiming said shittily converted land raider to be 'probably one of the most recognisable custom Warhammer models in the world', which a really fucking bizarrely narcissistic claim to make, if you ask me.

There's a few other little points in the video where this narcissism continues to shine through - he continually talks about the size of his audience, for example - but none are so obvious to me as when he patches a hole in the bottom of the tank using a stock photograph of his own face that he informs us that he sends out to people on his Patreon, like it's an artefact people would genuinely desire. Like it's an icon of a fucking saint or something.

Guy enlists the help of some fat fucking Mexican from Instagram to help make his shitty model look less shitty (but it still looks pretty shitty even after that, if you ask me) and then enters his converted Nurgle land raider (which he obnoxiously gives the coomer-ish nickname of 'the landrussy') into a painting competition at Salute.

He doesn't win, and I must confess, I did laugh out loud when he announced that he didn't win. I bet he thought he had that sewn up, given how incredibly popular his YouTube channel is and how instantly recognisable both he and his Nurgle land raider apparently are, and I suspect he thought he could finangle his way into winning the contest off the back of his YouTube e-fame. There was a real tonal shift in the video there. I bet he was secretly pissed as fuck.

The Mexican he got to help him improve his miniature didn't win shit either, so he really backed a loser on that one. Not even Hattie won anything and, all things considered, I thought her pink dragon was quite well done.

The video ends with Guy again, talking directly to the camera in his best attempt at performative earnestness, reiterating that the land raider represents a 'really unpleasant time in my life' (boo hoo) and that he's going to be raffling it off and hand delivering it in person to whoever wins and then, "Y'know, if we're spending the afternoon or evening together, we can play 40k or just hang out, whatever you want," which doesn't rule out the possibility that the lucky winner has a chance to have Guy suck their dick or something.

I hope it ends up being won by a complete weirdo stalker-type, ala that episode of I'm Alan Partridge.

The bit that genuinely made me sit up and go, "OH, FUCK OFF!" though, was this bit when Guy mentioned that, unlike other times when he's used his platform to raise money fer charidee, this time, he's going to be keeping all the money.

Because, you see, his landlord is selling the studio he's rented to make his YouTube videos and he's going to have to move and he needs to save up a deposit for new place to live, and the UK housing market is kerrrazy at the moment and gosh, I just need to get my foot on the housing ladder and 'muh kids, muh kids' and, y'know, I did raise all that money fer charidee in the past which I totally coulda kept, so you kinda owe me one and oh my fucking God, Guy, just fuck off, you absolute fucking parasite. Don't you make enough money from your fucking Patreon and shilling your T-shirts and art prints and YouTube sponsorships and God knows what the fuck else? You have a whole fucking studio full of expensive recording equipment and highly sought after, out-of-print miniatures, maybe you could sell some of that shit? Or maybe get a real fucking job and stop asking your YouTube simps to fund your ridiculous fucking lifestyle, you vampiric, emotionally manipulative, grifting arsehole?

 

[ShitLurker]

I’m getting a massive collection of old Warhammer stuff as a mate is doing a clear out. Think it’s mostly Fantasy but I’m chuffed.

What treasure did you end up getting?

Road to Redemption was published four years ago. Still, imagine being this gotten to by Sargon of Applebees.

What next? Inquisitor Nicolai Fontaines and his cohort of male Felinid sex-slave assassins?

Wait... so the Sargon book was published 4 years ago and nobody noticed till now? Speaks volumes of their popularity.

Hope Sargon is actually enjoying his cameo. Sure, he’s supposed to be a mindless slaver brute, but he’s wielding chainaxes. Axes with chainsaw blades instead of a sharp edge!

Fuck, I’d pay money to depict me as a troglodyte getting blown up by a plasma gun as long as I’m the one wielding it!

Plus, Sargon being happy probably pisses off Mike Brooks, so it’s a win for everyone!

He thinks it's hillarious and I'd laugh my ass off to if it happened to me.

Carl Benjamin as a Word Bearer is disgustingly fitting, I can't think of a single Space Marine legion more fitting for him.

"Have you even read Locke?!"

Found another excerpt of the 'Sarkon' segment written by the visionary Mike Brooks:

Spoiler: Excerpt

Sarkon Aggad chuckled smugly as they approached his soiled vox-throne, his eyes raking up and down their forms, appraising them - "I wouldn't even enslave you" he rumbled. Amused by his own wit, his bloated gut trembling perilously as he laughed. Cowering behind his jiggling, undulating flesh a young boy scrubbed feverishly at the gas extractor connected to the rear of the throne.

"By the Emperor are even the young not safe from your predation?!" Cried Mree Soo in outrage.
"It depends on the child really"

In an instant her autopistol spat a hail of fire at the dopamine-deprived hulk, rounds impotently bouncing off his armoured frame. Sarkon stood now, his round face pink in rage "YOU ARE ACTING LIKE HUMAN TYRANIDS. DO YOU THINK IMPERIAL CITIZENS ACT LIKE THAT"

Hoooolyyyy shit! This is real? You aren't shitposting? Was the faggot writing this under a quota that he had to add every single Sargonism in 3 paragraphs?

 

[Second Missing Primarch]

Forgive me for a bit of a rant here, but I've never had a particularly high opinion of Guy from Midwinter Minis, and having seen his latest video, I just had to come here and register my absolute disgust at it and say that if I had a single nano-molecule of respect left for that man, it has absolutely and completely fucking dissipated.

Isn't this the same absolute gaylord who was begging Henry Cavill to come play with him? Because I was repulsed by how desperately he was chasing Cavill for clout and trying to guilt him into it by claiming it'd be for charity, etc etc.

 

[augment]

Isn't this the same absolute gaylord who was begging Henry Cavill to come play with him? Because I was repulsed by how desperately he was chasing Cavill for clout and trying to guilt him into it by claiming it'd be for charity, etc etc.

He wasn't alone. Soon as it came out that Cavill painted warhammer miniatures every "celebrity" mini painter decided to open invitations in a mad Klondikian rush for higher clout.