Vlog starts with an AMAZON DELIVERY! Amber bought a microSD card for her Switch.
Pro tip: you don't have to buy the Nintendo Switch branded cards for your Switch. They're fine, but are usually more expensive than need be and the cheapo red and gray "extreme" ones are good enough for the slow read/write speeds of the Switch. Okay, back to the (shit)show!
Amber makes up some story "One time,
at band camp on Fortnite", where everyone on the map ran up to her and started dancing instead of fighting and confetti fell because Amber's that awesome.
Amber teases video game addiction and claims that the lack of microSD card meant she couldn't play for two days and has been going through "withdrawls".
(Un)conscious-stream-of-thought rambling as she blathers about possibly starting a Fortnite channel. 10 years later and bitch still can't figure out OBS for reacts. Can you IMAGINE watching a stream of her shrieking and playing the game like a moron while balancing her phone on a pile of manga and aiming it at her TV?!
Rarity sighting! 1 of 3 pets accounted for.
JUMPCUT!!! Getting ready to hang out with the Granny-Grappler. Pointless 'getting ready' blathering. Shitty-ring blathering. Pretending to have OCD rituals before leaving the apartment blathering.
JUMPCUT!!! Back at Flower Child (eatery) for her double starch mountain. Kristine gets asparagus, cauliflower rice and shrimp because despite both of their claims, Kristine is likely the only one counting calories.
FREEZE FRAME!!!
You're welcome. This is Ambo's favourite filming angle because it's the only one that gives her boobs proportional to her body.
JUMPCUT!!! "Girlie-Pop shopping at Color-Pop (in Target)". Makeup blathering. *Touch touch touch*.
JUMPCUT!!! Bingo dabbing action, staring 7-STRIPS for Kristine. Amber shows a modest 5-STRIPS (then immediately in the next jump only has a single strip). Gambling addiction coming in nicely toobz. Sped up dobbing action! *SKIP*
FREEZE FRAME!!!
Image presented by Amber without context. What do you think she's doing? Checking her rap-sheet, or searching herself in Gorlworld like Ambo constantly does?
JUMPCUT!!! Back at home for a Target haul - while pretending that her GORLFRIEND just messaged her (fuck off Ambo - no one cares about the pen-pal you sext with). Haul: makeup wipes, hair skin and nail gummies, melatonin gummies, Papermate pens, Elf primer, hair body and linen mist, pink liquid eyeliner, Whitney
Houston's (Edit: Whitney HANSON - I'm dumb) poetry journal, and another bullshit self-love workbook (because she loves books, loves journaling, and loves herself).
FREEZE FRAME!!!
So weird, quirky, and unique you guize! (We're talking about the eyebrows, right?)
JUMPCUT!!! Time to end the vlog... BUT she needs to pad out the video for more mid-roll ads, so she's going to answer more bullshit questions:
1) Amber claims that the personality we are seeing is her own personality, though she does admit to absorbing things from her partners (like their souls). Oops, nevermind; she admitted that THEY absorb things from HER (bullshit).
2) She got her purple moon shirt years ago from Hot Topic.
3) Amber actually brushes her cats (
bullshit).
4) Amber hasn't been buying views (
BULLSHIT !!). Actually, buying views no, buying subs.... maybe.
Amber's going to try to vlog more (absolutely not). Byee!!