Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

  • Yes

    Votes: 550 15.6%
  • No

    Votes: 349 9.9%
  • I don't care

    Votes: 2,619 74.4%

  • Total voters
    3,518
I'm surprised Reddit (if they're still allowed to speak of her there) hasn't thrown a fit about people watching her videos = giving her income to buy drugs.
I don't know if they still are (since they get banned so often) but they did that ad nauseum since she admitted to using Delta 8. It's like people haven't been funding her addiction for a decade on YouTube or something....
 
She just thinks it makes her a dainty damsel to claim she's shO nervous about taking tylenol and fucking vitamins with the bonus of being able to bring up her parents' addictions and tragic childhood.

She doesn't have a real stance on anything. She only has opinions that add to the narrative of the image she wants to portray. Just like all her "quirks" she constantly contradicts. She's so delicate she can't chop onions or touch meat...and then does it all the time.
 
She just thinks it makes her a dainty damsel to claim she's shO nervous about taking tylenol and fucking vitamins with the bonus of being able to bring up her parents' addictions and tragic childhood.

She doesn't have a real stance on anything. She only has opinions that add to the narrative of the image she wants to portray. Just like all her "quirks" she constantly contradicts. She's so delicate she can't chop onions or touch meat...and then does it all the time.

Bingo. She's nothing but a fat, beige blob without a shred of actual personality. Every "interest" and "quirk" of hers is copied from whatever ass-wiper, orbiter, YouTuber, or TikTok trend is currently available and/or popular.

It's all so stupid that one wants to slap her and ask "What the actual fuck is wrong with you?!". Of course, there's a lot wrong with her. One doesn't get to be 600 pounds with balloon legs by being mentally healthy.
 
It's all so stupid that one wants to slap her and ask "What the actual fuck is wrong with you?!". Of course, there's a lot wrong with her. One doesn't get to be 600 pounds with balloon legs by being mentally healthy.
At least with Chantal, we know how much she eats. With Amber, listening to her, she is eating like a bird. But she needs to eat as much as Chantal to maintain her 500 pounds body. Her mother complained that Amber ate a massive amount of rice during the cancer arc. I do not think that Amber ever cut back. All the talk of diets are just it, talk. She is as addicted to food as Chantal.
 
At least with Chantal, we know how much she eats. With Amber, listening to her, she is eating like a bird. But she needs to eat as much as Chantal to maintain her 500 pounds body. Her mother complained that Amber ate a massive amount of rice during the cancer arc. I do not think that Amber ever cut back. All the talk of diets are just it, talk. She is as addicted to food as Chantal.

Yes, weird how she doesn't worry about all the arsenic in rice or or mercury in salmon but can't take vitamins. Like I said, her anxiety is mysteriously disappearing as soon as something benefits her.

Pretty sure if she truly did not have a driver (like her mom) she'd have no trouble getting around on her own. Amber is a survivor and an addict. She will always be able to obtain the shit that gives her that sweet dopamine.
 
I think she’s trying to soft launch that’s she wants to game on twitch which I fucking hope she does. Whenever Amber strays away from her shit YouTube content, people “ruin” it for her like her livestream era or her earring business.

Her tale of how cool it was to dance with a Billie eilish skin was very much the vibes of asking a middle schooler what they did over the weekend.
 
Yeah her Fortnite story is bull but why lie about it, she literally just said a tiktok meme and said it was her. She is really hamming up this girlfriend but it is so cringe because no one in their 30s acts like that in a relationship. There are also some inconsistences and new things happening that can help us get a picture of what is happening.
  • It looks like Amber is sleeping on the couch ala 2018/19. We all know what that means.
  • According to her she is 80-100lbs heavier than the Krystal era Amber which I call utter bullshit on.
  • Delta 8 abuse - I will break down my theory shortly
  • Ordering things via Amazon which makes me think Kristine is cutting back on driving duties
  • Small "hauls", there is clearly a lack of money because the hauls are getting smaller and smaller and all her expenses are going on rent, food and delta gummies.
  • Also the "gayming" channel was a massive tell of our suspected state of her destroyed finances.
This new hiding of Delta stuff is kinda new as she used to announce her drug abuse but I think she is taking it because she is so alone. Kristine is popping to see her once a week and doing the chores and then bailing. On top of that there is a clear lack of bathing happening with a lot of gravity shifting her face fat. She is starting to look fucked really fast and she will hate the results more. I will not be surprised if we get a total stop of weight loss content because the weight loss is getting a lot harder for her now.

As with her Twitch channel, she'll need a completely new setup, her Mac is too outdated for OBS as in it does not handle it well and she does not have a setup, it would end up being worse than DSP's and his is dogshit but him and Amber are very similar so valley girls on crack can reunite I guess.
 
*** VLOG ALERT!! ***

Plot Summary with Commentary! When we last left our Witless Wonder, Amber was AGAIN talking about the Granny-Grappler, while both denying and admitting that she's bashed her entire family on her channel for the last 10 years (for fun AND profit). What's going on today? Looks like more exploitation of Kristine. TAKE US IN!

Vlog starts with an AMAZON DELIVERY! Amber bought a microSD card for her Switch. Pro tip: you don't have to buy the Nintendo Switch branded cards for your Switch. They're fine, but are usually more expensive than need be and the cheapo red and gray "extreme" ones are good enough for the slow read/write speeds of the Switch. Okay, back to the (shit)show!

Amber makes up some story "One time, at band camp on Fortnite", where everyone on the map ran up to her and started dancing instead of fighting and confetti fell because Amber's that awesome.

Amber teases video game addiction and claims that the lack of microSD card meant she couldn't play for two days and has been going through "withdrawls".

(Un)conscious-stream-of-thought rambling as she blathers about possibly starting a Fortnite channel. 10 years later and bitch still can't figure out OBS for reacts. Can you IMAGINE watching a stream of her shrieking and playing the game like a moron while balancing her phone on a pile of manga and aiming it at her TV?!

Rarity sighting! 1 of 3 pets accounted for.

JUMPCUT!!! Getting ready to hang out with the Granny-Grappler. Pointless 'getting ready' blathering. Shitty-ring blathering. Pretending to have OCD rituals before leaving the apartment blathering.

JUMPCUT!!! Back at Flower Child (eatery) for her double starch mountain. Kristine gets asparagus, cauliflower rice and shrimp because despite both of their claims, Kristine is likely the only one counting calories.

FREEZE FRAME!!!
theGORLS.png

You're welcome. This is Ambo's favourite filming angle because it's the only one that gives her boobs proportional to her body.

JUMPCUT!!! "Girlie-Pop shopping at Color-Pop (in Target)". Makeup blathering. *Touch touch touch*.

JUMPCUT!!! Bingo dabbing action, staring 7-STRIPS for Kristine. Amber shows a modest 5-STRIPS (then immediately in the next jump only has a single strip). Gambling addiction coming in nicely toobz. Sped up dobbing action! *SKIP*

FREEZE FRAME!!!
MamaLynn.png

Image presented by Amber without context. What do you think she's doing? Checking her rap-sheet, or searching herself in Gorlworld like Ambo constantly does?

JUMPCUT!!! Back at home for a Target haul - while pretending that her GORLFRIEND just messaged her (fuck off Ambo - no one cares about the pen-pal you sext with). Haul: makeup wipes, hair skin and nail gummies, melatonin gummies, Papermate pens, Elf primer, hair body and linen mist, pink liquid eyeliner, Whitney Houston's (Edit: Whitney HANSON - I'm dumb) poetry journal, and another bullshit self-love workbook (because she loves books, loves journaling, and loves herself).

FREEZE FRAME!!!
booksisgoodforthebrain.png

So weird, quirky, and unique you guize! (We're talking about the eyebrows, right?)

JUMPCUT!!! Time to end the vlog... BUT she needs to pad out the video for more mid-roll ads, so she's going to answer more bullshit questions:
1) Amber claims that the personality we are seeing is her own personality, though she does admit to absorbing things from her partners (like their souls). Oops, nevermind; she admitted that THEY absorb things from HER (bullshit).
2) She got her purple moon shirt years ago from Hot Topic.
3) Amber actually brushes her cats (bullshit).
4) Amber hasn't been buying views (BULLSHIT !!). Actually, buying views no, buying subs.... maybe.
Amber's going to try to vlog more (absolutely not). Byee!!

TL;DR: Back to nontent-filler. Fortnite and Switch talk. Rarity sighting. Amber eats another mountain of starch at the "hulthy" restaurant while her mother attempts moderation. Then junk at Target and Bingo. Amber claims that this fake personality is the real her, that she does actually brush her cats, and that she doesn't buy VIEWS (and ignores that her audience is asking if she buys SUBS).

I don't think she's serious about the Fortnite thing. That was filler. Bitch can't even upload to her main channel. You really think she's going to build up another channel and get the watch hours required for monitization? Ambo doesn't work - and certainly not for free. And forget about her trying to figure out how to use a capture card.
 
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On top of that there is a clear lack of bathing happening with a lot of gravity shifting her face fat. She is starting to look fucked really fast and she will hate the results more.

The Russian Babushka look ca 2019/20 is slowly making its comeback.
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And she got another self-love workbook. The last thing Amber needs is more self-love. She needs self-reflection and humility. But I guess it easier to fill out a book designed to make you feel good then go to actual therapy which WILL make you feel bad at times and require repeated exercise.
 
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