Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[doodoocaca]

by not hating them like you do and screeching repeal the 19th now btfo you incel go ask your buddy incels. Or better yet neck yourself.

lol

 

[Andoxico]

1) How do you get women to discuss feelings in way that is not an attack, but instead seeks to actually find some way to fix a problem or deal with the emotions?

Not speaking on behalf of women, just in general you want to use language that doesn't directly place blame. They say to use "I" statements instead of "you" statements like instead of " you did this..." say "I feel x when y happens." That might help you towards point 2 as well though I can't be sure because I've never felt respected as an emotional being.

 

[doodoocaca]

Not speaking on behalf of women, just in general you want to use language that doesn't directly place blame. They say to use "I" statements instead of "you" statements like instead of " you did this..." say "I feel x when y happens." That might help you towards point 2 as well though I can't be sure because I've never felt respected as an emotional being.

To be fair this is a mostly western (if not mostly anglosphere) problem. Men in Spain or Greece, for example, don't have a stiff upper lip or hold anything back. Then there's Latin America in general. Once again, the UK sucking ripples through the ages.

The big point here is not not that I leap into attacking with people IRL. It is that I have to stop the attacking which is how many women speak of their feelings before there's any productive discussion of everyone's feelings, and it's rather exhausting emotional labor.

 

[Mister Uno]

I own a snake and kill mice/rats for her (she will not eat frozen thawed), I bowhunt squirrels behind my house, I hold a high-stress and well-paying job in a traditionally masculine field, and I find other people's kids annoying. This has bothered quite a few men and that's fine, they can go find a woman who isn't me. It's a little confusing since they were always the one who started approaching me and wanting to talk/hang out more, but I'm glad it was something that came up early on before either of us had invested much time or energy.

Lmao what fags. I personally haven't met a dude who was like this, but I've heard of them. Reminds me of that fabricated "controversy" of that one girl fixing her own car and dudes flipping out about it. I personally find that kind of stuff attractive. Never fully understood why dudes want a women to be needy.

 

[Andoxico]

The big point here is not not that I leap into attacking with people IRL. It is that I have to stop the attacking which is how many women speak of their feelings before there's any productive discussion of everyone's feelings, and it's rather exhausting emotional labor.

Be the change you want to see.
Also, lol if you think latina women aren't verbally aggressive

 

[Big Miss Steak]

Lmao what fags. I personally haven't met a dude who was like this, but I've heard of them. Reminds me of that fabricated "controversy" of that one girl fixing her own car and dudes flipping out about it. I personally find that kind of stuff attractive. Never fully understood why dudes want a women to be needy.

There's a difference between wanting to be a protector/provider and wanting your woman to need you all the time. A guy I was friends with, who I later learned had fallen in love with me (his words), threw a massive chimpout when I asked him for some computer building advice and then went and got it all taken care of without getting his assistance.

Some guys like it. When we have handymen come fix our AC unit or hot water heaters, I'll climb into the attic with them to watch them and ask questions and they think it's hilarious. Sometimes they let me hold their utility light or their tools.

 

[Andoxico]

Sometimes they let me hold their tools.

 

[pork and beans]

blood sausage is made by mixing fresh animal blood with various ingredients, such as grains, meat products, onions, spices, and all that jazz.

CHORIZO AND MORCILLA MENTIONED!!!!!!!!!!!!

And omg, you freak, what you are implying is HAUNTING . Plus, you'd need, like, way too many diva cups. Ew.

How important are things like careers and full independence to any of the women whom'st are here? I probably already know the answer to that question but I'm curious.

I think it's REALLY important.

Even if you as a woman want to have the stay-at-home-wife life, education and the possibility to have your own work career is incredibly important NOT JUST to develop yourself and your skills as a person the same way a man would but because, for example, being a stay-at-home wife leaves you in a spot of financial insecurity.

Imagine your husband dies, or maybe leaves, or somehow gets fired and you are both economically doing bad as a result, you would need to take care of yourself... And if you don't have a career or any education... you won't be able to.

Nowadays, I think If you have to rely on someone for everything you might feel like either a child or a leech, even if you do your hard work on other areas as well. So I think it would be very hard to convince women they don't need or want a career/independence.

And jobs can suck, but everybody (or everybody thats not a lazy fuck) wants to learn and do something with their life and accomplish something. Women, too.

Plus, wife or not wife (since that example is perhaps a bit extreme), i think most if not all women wish to be feel in control of their life. And it would probably be very hard to feel in control if you lack the independence to rely on yourself.

 

[doodoocaca]

Be the change you want to see.
Also, lol if you think latina women aren't verbally aggressive

And? Latin men still have more space to have emotions. Besides, I'll take overt over covert any day of the week.

 

[Andoxico]

And? Latin men still have more space to have emotions. Besides, I'll take overt over covert any day of the week.

So what the fuck are you complaining about? It sounds like you just want to vent about muh western wahmens. Touch grass.

 

[doodoocaca]

So what the fuck are you complaining about? It sounds like you just want to vent about muh western wahmens. Touch grass.

1) How do you get women to discuss feelings in way that is not an attack, but instead seeks to actually find some way to fix a problem or deal with the emotions?

2) How do you get western(ized?) women to actually care about men as emotional beings, beyond regulating ones they do not wish to interact with or observe?

Why are you upset I responded to your own point?

 

[Andoxico]

Why are you upset I responded to your own point?

It sounds like you just want to vent about muh western wahmens.

 

[Mister Uno]

There's a difference between wanting to be a protector/provider and wanting your woman to need you all the time.

I never liked this. Your partner is suppose to be your best friend. You do things for one another and help each other when the other needs it, doesn't matter what. Housework, emotional support, money, whatever you can think of. If you want to be a housewife, good on yo. If not, even better. Shows you can take care of yourself which is a good sign IMO.

Not that being a housewife means you can't take care of yourself, that shit can be hard especially with a big family.

 

[doodoocaca]

@Andoxico I don't want to just vent or complain. I am interested in fixing a problem that requires stating it exists out loud, and saying other cultures do things differently is the best way I know of to suggest a change I would like.

 

[Andoxico]

I am interested in fixing a problem that requires stating it exists out loud

Like how I told you to do in my first response? The how you say it is what makes or breaks how it's received.

 

[doodoocaca]

Like how I told you to do in my first response? The how you say it is what makes or breaks how it's received.

I believe I was not clear. Let me clarify:

If someone else starts with an attack, how do you train them to stop attacking by default, and instead just express feelings productively and actually bother working on it with other people, instead of just attacking?

I interpreted what you said as how to respond after attacks already began.

 

[Null]

@doodoocaca do you have any hobbies

 

[Justa Grata Honoria]

Like how I told you to do in my first response? The how you say it is what makes or breaks how it's received.

This man doesn't shut up and will argue you for 10 pages over autistic bs . You should have followed my lead son .

 

[Big Miss Steak]

Two queries for the helpful femoid from an inquiring moid:

1) How do you get women to discuss feelings in way that is not an attack, but instead seeks to actually find some way to fix a problem or deal with the emotions?

2) How do you get western(ized?) women to actually care about men as emotional beings, beyond regulating ones they do not wish to interact with or observe?

1) Women are not dogs and there's no "training" or some quick answer to this. Some people will never learn how to communicate with care. That said, you should do exactly what you said: "Hey, X, I would like to improve my communication and I would like for us to work on 'discussing feelings in way that is not an attack, but instead seeks to actually find some way to fix a problem or deal with the emotion.'" If she refuses this, then there is nothing you can do.

2) I don't understand this question really. In my experience women are far more likely to try to understand their man's emotions than vice versa. I also do not know what regulation you're referring to. You will need to elaborate.

Then there's Latin America in general.

And? Latin men still have more space to have emotions. Besides, I'll take overt over covert any day of the week.

You say you don't like attacks and then in the same breath say you'd prefer a confrontational Latin woman. I don't understand.

 

[Andoxico]

I believe I was not clear. Let me clarify:

If someone else starts with an attack, how do you train them to stop attacking by default, and instead just express feelings productively and actually bother working on it with other people, instead of just attacking?

I interpreted what you said as how to respond after attacks already began.

Be the change you want to see.

You can't "train" a person. The best you can do is lead by example and hope they follow. If they don't, going your separate ways is probably best. And no, it's not only for when someone starts attacking you. Its a fundamental part of effective communication.