Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Feyd-Robert Rekieta]

Father of the Century

Thanks Nick for the inspiration. I now know that no joke, when it comes to anyone in your family, is too far for you. Speaking of which,


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Super hot, and getting hotter by the year/month, one procedure at a time. No matter how many it takes, our wife is determined to finally satisfy this man by "undestroying" her body. Rooting for her.

And even this picture is missing quite a bit of the transformation. I need to add all the additional photos people have reminded me of since.

Remember that Nicky is a proud Christian father and loving husband.
The kind that makes molestation jokes about his own kids and tells the entire internet that he thinks his wife's body has been destroyed by child birth.
I can see her leaving Nick when enough of their children are old enough to take the burden off of her.

 

[Truly Rural]

Nick has officially graduated to his own children getting molested jokes

Yup it started the other night when he was talking about marrying his 6 y/o daughter to Muhammad. BTW is greeting your 6 year old child past bed time with "what do you want?" normal? 'Cos it sounds weird and needlessly harsh to me, almost hostile but English is not my first language.

 

[Harm]

In other news, Nick has officially graduated to his own children getting molested jokes
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I'd already nearly interpreted his pedo jokes in the recent "Childruption" clip to be sideways references to his own child being molested by Alec Baldwin (I might be misremembering the celebrity). That one you could give some charitability because he was so plastered, but he's seemingly his version of sober here. Pretty disappointing.

 

[AnOminous]

To clarify, I was going to initially argue that you metabolize alcohol way faster so it's possible he'd be fine, but either my memory is way off or it was a really bad rule.

I think your metabolism does slow down later in life, but you're also more capable of coping. Even if you were at .08 or whatever legal limit if you had no giveaway smell or didn't drive like a nut, you might even get away with being pulled over. But if you look like a fucking skeleton and are obviously drunk, and Nick in the last couple weeks especially has been so obviously visibly drunk he can't even see straight, is sinking down into his chair, and no way in hell he's fit to travel within four hours of that.

Also just because there's a "legal limit," that's just the BAC where you're presumptively guilty, in many states including Minnesota. If the cop testifies you smelled like alcohol, were driving erratically, had bloodshot eyes, and in his opinion you were impaired, you can still be convicted below that limit. And if you were also a rude, combative faggot when you got pulled over, he probably would.

What I am saying (and what other people here have pointed out for a long time now) is I think he way over the legal limit on his show (it's almost beyond dispute, I think), and I have serious doubts that four hours elapsed is enough time for his BAC to drop below the legal limit of 0.08 when operating a motor vehicle.

And remember that "legal limit" doesn't mean it's okay to drive impaired if you're only at 0.06, just that you're automatically at 0.08 without any more evidence needed. So if they arrest him under suspicion and then the BAC test also turns up other drugs, and he's babbling like a retarded lunatic about how he only had two hours of sleep, he's getting popped.

 

[Anasûrimbor Kellhus]

In other news, Nick has officially graduated to his own children getting molested jokes
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unironically can't even muster the energy to watch this. Description alone is enough.

Just sad. Something out of a greek tragedy.

 

[nut butter]

Has anyone seen the chat he's "reading" here? I'd like to know what he's responding to.


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"We also want to give people [I assume he means children] the ability to attend an event without society deciding it was bad...you should be exposed to it whether it's bad or good...like [???] penis...[stress sigh]...in Michigan."

Is Nick arguing that adults should "have the ability to attend an event" where "kids are on display" and "kids try to be attractive to adults", "without [society] just deciding it was bad"?

I legit think adults attending events where children are the performers, or something like that, is what he's talking about when he's saying that people "should be exposed to it whether it's bad or good."

The argument seems to me like: "we [society?] don't want kids on display, we [everyone, hopefully] don't want adults harming kids [...], but we [Nick, presumably] also want people [adults?] to attend an event [((event))) ?] without just deciding that it was bad."

The weird "mexn penis in Michigan." line at the end does throw me off a little, and I'm still curious what he was actually responding to, but what a weird clip.

 

[dustnight]

He stopped himself from saying something here ("kill all the Jews" maybe?).

I don't think he stopped himself there, I think that was probably the joke...

 

[Truly Rural]

The weird "mexn penis in Michigan." line at the end does throw me off a little, and I'm still curious what he was actually responding to, but what a weird clip.

Nick has lost his mind, or traded it for "humor" so deciphering what he meant is a fools errand. Most times he is just saying words. This is especially true when he uses his "sex for funny" formula as I call it. His story was pointless and he knows it so he inserted a word penis to make something of it.

 

[Feyd-Robert Rekieta]

Nick has lost his mind, or traded it for "humor" so deciphering what he meant is a fools errand. Most times he is just saying words. This is especially true when he uses his "sex for funny" formula as I call it. His story was pointless and he knows it so he inserted a word penis to make something of it

Yeah there's little point in trying to analyze Nick if he's drunk and high and just saying random words. He sounds like homeless intercity mentally ill crackheads when he talks. Just saying complete nonsense. Except the crackheads aren't dumb enough to consider themselves comedians.

 

[LordofCringe7206 Vol. 2]

Yeah there's little point in trying to analyze Nick if he's drunk and high and just saying random words. He sounds like homeless intercity mentally ill crackheads when he talks. Just saying complete nonsense. Except the crackheads aren't dumb enough to consider themselves comedians.

He is honestly starting to sound like how Terry A. Davis spoke at the end of his life: incoherent gibberish. I wonder if his lack of diet combined with heavy alcohol consumption is giving him early onsets of dementia.

 

[Tiny Chinaman]

Yeah there's little point in trying to analyze Nick if he's drunk and high and just saying random words. He sounds like homeless intercity mentally ill crackheads when he talks. Just saying complete nonsense. Except the crackheads aren't dumb enough to consider themselves comedians.

Hes the type of faggot that thinks non-sequitur humor is peak comedy

 

[Pippa's Greasy KB]

Now is the LOCALS of our dis-content...

Spoiler: Disquiet

Liars

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And 2 more tricked and gone.

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Ask them to come to elb's channel to chat (I would have said here but nah)

 

[notapaypig]

I told CGoody in the chat that the farms exposed & own him and that Rekieta is on a dangerous spiral in his alcoholism.

He said "whatever makes you retards at the farms happy and sleep at night, I've been at the same job for decades" and basically went on a rant about how Nick is fine and gaining followers, pulling 1000 on youtube on a random Tuesday night, many more thousands on Rumble and essentially can do no wrong. Does anyone have the backstory on how CGoody has his head so far up Rekieta's ass that Nick can pretty much do nothing wrong? I don't think he even gets paid for his mod duties, and he's the only one with admin powers on Rumble and Lolcows.

I remember him once saying that Nick helped him through a dark time or something. Just seems really strange a dude from Philly simps so hard over a dude in Minnesota that he almost considered dropping his gov't job and working in Nick's basement full time (offered position during Covid).

The mystique about CGoody is really fascinating. It's sort of like the 40 and 50-somethings that continuously donate to CAMELOT331 (COOMELOT) every stream so that he hits "Naked Snake" and takes his shirt off and jiggles his tits for them. That guy runs a weird ass channel, every 5 minutes it's begging for "red bois" to put on his car for NASCAR and it's the SAME handful of donors on a 100 viewer stream talking about his fat tinder hookups from 2012 after his ex wife left.

 

[feral cat #6385]

>implying he doesn't start the day with a glass of whiskey immediately after getting out of bed
he might be at 0.06 when he wakes up, but he doesn't stay there for long

He puts in an intravenous booze drip while he sleeps. To keep his blood alcohol content consistent.

The mystique about CGoody is really fascinating

No it isn't.

 

[Sharpeteer]

I told CGoody in the chat that the farms exposed & own him and that Rekieta is on a dangerous spiral in his alcoholism.

Why? Not impressed.

Also besides getting catfished by Daniel Paul Harris, and being a Balldo mark, CGoody is a boring fuck, and nothing more than a pfp of a goofy looking face.

 

[Rodeo Roadrunner]

Rekieta is trying to get back into Null's good graces by eating on cam.

So watching @elb video on the pie incident, right at the beginning, am I stupid or are his hands shaking like crazy? See video for reference.

To me his hand is shaking so bad he can barely put in his fitted IEMs. Didn't put it in the clip but he is shifting around and bouncing around the whole time like he has ants biting him or something, has to be drugs.

Anyway, he genuinely has an eating disorder, or his appetite is beyond destroyed due to drug/alcohol abuse. For the pie stream, he stated

• I had a breakfast bowl (around 7 am I guess) with some steak, guacamole, salsa.
• Skipped lunch because he had to drive and needed a nap at noon (???)
• No dinner with family (he forgot)
• Eating a pie with booze and butter at midnight

He doesn't even finish the pie. I don't understand how it is possible to be as thin as he is, claims to want to put on weight, and have basically two small meals that far apart. How can you forget to eat dinner when your last meal was early in the morning, and you 'were running around all day busy doing things.' I could maybe understand if you were just laying around doing nothing that you wouldn't be hungry, but it is just absurd.

 

[AnOminous]

How can you forget to eat dinner when your last meal was early in the morning, and you 'were running around all day busy doing things.' I could maybe understand if you were just laying around doing nothing that you wouldn't be hungry, but it is just absurd.

Druggies often lose interest in food, personal hygiene, and their personal responsibilities. Nick has lost all three.

 

[Harm]

Dumbfuck is already drinking himself diabetic. I can't imagine shoving shitty sugar-filled bullshit is going to help the situation.

How can you forget to eat dinner when your last meal was early in the morning

His stomach is probably fucked from the years of pounding it with hard liquor. I'd believe that he doesn't "feel hungry" and he's losing sensitivity to his fluctuations in blood sugar, so he lacks the physiological drive to eat.

 

[Ethan Ralph Is 5'1"]

To me his hand is shaking so bad he can barely put in his fitted IEMs.

 

[DarksydePhil's Tits 2]

The demon has started its move to a new host. Sean needs to watch out. While it starts out subtle, it escalates rapidly once the hold on your soul is secure.


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Without seeing the surrounding context, I guess the most optimistic possibility would be that Sean was making an ill-advised attempt at parodying Nick's bottle licks?

In any case, watching the latest @elbvideo, the way he monetized him eating reminded me of DSP's tip goals. It's almost as if after getting roasted by Phil, Nick just thought to himself "You know, I'm really not above his level, am I?" and just decided to full-on whore himself out finally.