Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[Major]

What's the scenario? Have you introduced yourself?

Seriously though, if "being a weirdo" is even on the table as a reaction that she could conceivably have, you shouldn't try it. It's not the kind of thing that you do when you don't know where you stand. Do some (I hear a lot from buddies who've gone through it) women act like it's a problem if you won't have sex with them on the second or third date? Yeah, but those are dodged bullets.

If you're asking because of general confidence and room-reading problems, then that's something that you should grind out in the general social skills with women level before you put sex on the table.

No offense to women, and maybe it's different here, but you generally can't really go to them for systematic answers to these kinds of questions. You ask the salesman how to sell, not the customer. They might know how they felt or what worked for them in a particular instance, but they don't have the practical theoretical knowledge or experience to apply that in diverse situations.

This isn't exclusive to women: it's generally something that autistic people have to keep in mind when asking questions to non-autistic people. The world operates according to consistent patterns and rules, but somebody who doesn't have to struggle or engage with those often doesn't see it as doing so; sometimes they even think that that "ruins the magic".

In a way, you can think of all men as being autistic in relation to women. It's something we all have to grind unless we're just natural gigachads to whom women swarm without any effort or understanding on the man's part.

And no, I'm not saying that there's a magic spell or MKultra phrase you can use to brainwash women into sleeping with you (for the low-reading-comprehension individuals in the peanut gallery).

As in, I'm seeing someone for a longer time steadily. I would never consider propositioning a woman out of the blue, I'm not insane.

Whener I do it I feel awkward like a bull in a china shop.

 

[pork and beans]

I don't think being nerdy or a little awkward means you're socially inept

Oh, totally true, they’re completely different things. I kind of misinterpreted/ gave an offtopic answer to your message, my bad, heheheh.

Is fujo stuff generally representative of female sexuality, or is that some sort of an aberration?

I think it can be.
I think the main appeal of shipping and more specifically yaoi ships is that it’s a women-free female space, paradoxically. As in, it’s written with women in mind but it doesn’t contain women. Sex and relationships can be daunting and scary, but fujo ships are a space to safely explore that and navigate those emotions. It’s the touchy feely romance without risking getting involved and hurt.

Oftentimes yaoi and fujo fanfic and whatnot is VERY degenerate, because they find men hot and want them to have creepy gay butt sex, but I’d argue that’s not true for every fujoshi.

Chalking all fujoshis up to a fetish oversimplifies it, because sometimes it’s genuinely just very typical girly romance stuff. I would say it in this case it absolutely represents female sexuality.
Men in gay fanfiction almost never act ”like men”; you could swap them with a woman and a man or even two women, and nothing would change, because what they find appealing about it isn’t the gay part, it’s the romance and the feelings. The male characters are a vehicle to explore that, and they allow doing so from a completely outside perspective.

If men were the sole appeal of yaoi, there wouldn’t be so many lesbians that are into it.

Furthermore, shows don’t often have many female characters or female characters that are involved as deeply with the male characters. So to explore those dynamics, sometimes women will just the two guys instead, and cram the romance they want to see into whatever deep friendship the characters have, or something.


obviously, it’s all part of a fantasy because it’s fiction. It’s impossible and unrealistic.

To actually have a romantic relationship in real life you have to get involved, you can’t be a passive observer. Unless you are a cuck (LOLFAG!)

Moving on from the gay porn questions: how does female friendship work? Men, for example, are usually friends based off of compatible talents and sense of purpose towards which they collaborate (whether that be an intellectual, creative, or other pursuit). What do women do together?

Is that not how female friendships work? That’s exactly how my own female friendship work; I like befriending people I have things in common with, whether that’s hobbies or interests, a somewhat similar (or if not, compatible) outlook on life, a shared goal… Not all of these have to be met at the same time, obviously.
Of course, not all friends are equal because you can befriend people from different contexts in different levels; what ties me to my best friends isn’t what ties me to friends at work, and whatever.

Personally what I do together with my female friends depends on the friend, but what do women NOT do together? I think that’s an odd question, I think anything can be done; when you are close friends with someone, you can have fun doing anything.

With my best friend, for example, we always have a set date beforehand because we don’t get to see each other very often anymore due to different schedules. We love cinema, so we will usually go to watch a movie if a good one is available; while we are together we will have a normal conversation; we will joke and update each other on our lives; how we’ve been feeling, wether anything important has happened, shows, happenings… Or you can hang out to do something together like a sport or a hobby, or go shopping, or to a concert. Sometimes you don’t need to do anything at all, not even talk. Me and my best friend go on holidays together and during those times where we are basically hanging out 24/7 there’s a lot of time spent not talking; just being together is enough. Maybe she reads while I draw, or we are both taking a nap, or something.

I act pretty much the same around my female and male friends, I think. And if I do act differently it’s because it’s someone I’m less close to, not because it’s a man or a woman.

Would you agree that it's true that men are more world-oriented, whereas women are more person-oriented?

Well, what does world-oriented mean? Im not asking in bad faith, promise. The world is full of people. So it would follow that someone world oriented would have to take people into account.
And isn’t usually men the ones that are said to be more “people-oriented” because that has to do with goals? while women are said to be more emotional?

I don’t know, I think I lack life experience to answer. But, I’m hesitant to say that women are less “world-oriented” or less “people- oriented” or less “goal-oriented” than men. All the women I know have goals and want to get to know the world. I consider myself goal oriented. And I’ve met men were neither goal nor people oriented.


if what you mean is that if women value connections more than other aspects of life, well, I would say that is true for a lot of us. I would certainly say social connections are one thing I hold in a very high regard, although it’s not what I find the MOST important. But I think that’s something very universal, humans are social creatures. It’s foolish to ignore that or to pretend that it’s something irrational and emotional, especially considering that a lot of goals are possible through having connections and being social.

and honestly I don’t know if we value social ties MORE than men do, because I’m not a man. what do male kiwis think?

I would say any differences could be chalked up to differences in culture rather than innate differences; valuing social ties is a universal value, but it will be viewed somewhat differently across each culture, not only cultures of countries but the culture of men and women, which we acquire through our socialization. How much of said culture lies in genuine biological differences, I don’t know.

What is it like when you're not in Estrus, when the tides are low or however that works

again, I would say this varies woman to woman. I never feel any different or any more or less emotional. I do notice I feel more physically sluggish and weak during Luteal phase, but that’s BEFORE the period, nor during.

Basically: have you run into the roadblock of men being gay.

Yes. Sometimes Men are sometimes unironical fags because they are phallocentric, so much so that it is homoerotic.

but, I think what you describe happens to us women, too. Nobody can be blamed for it. Neither guys nor Chicks.


Though we talk about attraction and love all the time and we make and consume art about it very frequently, it’s rare to actually share profound conversations around it, so it’s always shocking to realise that it’s not something we all experience in the same manner. I think we women also find very shocking how differently men act and the things THEY feel, so much so that it’s hard to fully comprehend, sometimes.

 

[KittyGremlin]

Going to a therapist cost money. Asking gossip forum site users for life advices is free.

No seriously I can't afford to go see a therapist when they charge as much as what I spend on my weekly groceries for an hour

Well, there's some options still. You can look into what free healthcare could be provided by your country, your job insurance or sometimes the workplace itself. Of course, I'm under no delusions that all of these are either unlikely or hard to get, so another very good alternative is certain types of meditation. It does require some research on your part and you *can* mess it up or pick the wrong routine but with discipline it can definitely improve many things.

 

[California Newt]

@pork and beans, I can't seem to reply to you at the moment.

By "world-oriented", I mean that I get the impression that men's interests are generally about topics that are not inherently social: philosophy, engineering, economics, aesthetics (in an abstract sense), the honing of a craft, etc. Sports could be thought of as social, but that's more of the collaborative emergent effort towards producing the "perfect game" of whatever sport it is.

In contrast, it seems like womens' interests are generally more inherently person-based or inherently socially based. I don't mean exclusively, but that seems to be more of the focus. You're less likely to see a woman out in a shack working on some obscure development in occult metallurgy or whatever only to emerge three weeks later with a manifesto that he can share to the other three men on the planet who know what the hell he's talking about.

If I'm right, that's not saying anything against women; the creation is a dirty mirror of the mind of God (even from a secular perspective, aesthetics move the soul and are therefore analogous to virtues as far as the soul is concerned; virtues are always personal, so aesthetics point psychologically to the virtues of the hypothetical "perfect man"), so in a way they might have an improved capacity to kind of cut out the middleman rather than men who have the temptation to scuttle around going "dang, that's one swell mirror".

From what you say about how fujo stuff is basically lesbian porn in mens' bodies, and how man-made porn is gay porn in womens' bodies, I think we can conclude that porn is making everyone gay. I'm 100% anti-pornography, but I wonder if having men and women who grew up with it study each others' spank bank could help heal the divide.

. . . or if it'd just exacerbate the problem and turn into horrible maladjusted gooning sessions (now from two perspectives rather than one), but maybe there's a better idea somewhere buried in that bad one

 

[pork and beans]

From what you say about how fujo stuff is basically lesbian porn in mens' bodies

Some of it definitely is, but part of my point is that there’s a part of fujo content that isn’t in fact porn.

yes, some of it consists of stuff that is 100% sexual degeneracy and a fetish.

However, another part is more so a way for sheltered women to explore romance or emotional feelings through womanly characters in a female-less setting, as that makes the female reader the ultimate outsider, therefore removing the risk of getting hurt that exists in real life romance.
It’s more akin to chick flicks or romance books. It acts as a fantasy rather than erotica or porn videos.

The goal isn’t to get off like in porn, but rather act as wish fulfillment for unmet emotional needs. This would explain part of the target audience yaoi has: awkward teenage girls that spend too much time online.

It would also explain the division in those type of fandom spaces, where surprisingly puritan people and wildly degenerate freaks coexist. Since fetishes are acquired and they seem to get worse, it could probably be a spectrum in which many fujos do end up turning into freaks, like a pipeline.

I think this is the most ive ever written about this topic. (LOLAUTIST!)

I think we can conclude that porn is making everyone gay

definitely. It’s fucking up peoples sexualities no doubt.

I'm 100% anti-pornography, but I wonder if having men and women who grew up with it study each others' spank bank could help heal the divide.

I’m also 100% anti-pornography. I don’t think watching the spank bank would help. What can you even learn about a doujinshi or a video from Pornhub other than how messed up is that some people need it to get off? Maybe there is some psychological explanation for all of it, but I dont know if it would bring men and women together.

that I get the impression that men's interests are generally about topics that are not inherently social: philosophy, engineering, economics, aesthetics (in an abstract sense), the honing of a craft, etc. Sports

that’s interesting. I don’t know, all of my own interests fall in that category. Aesthetics, philosophy and linguistics, crafts and art, individual sports. And things like fashion and make up would fall here too.
(although things like going shopping wouldn’t).

it seems like womens' interests are generally more inherently person-based or inherently socially based.

The only interests that are socially based that I can think of is going out partying or meeting to talk or communal activities like going to the cinema, a concert… Going partying isnt more common in women, most clubs have more men than women. That’s why the clubs sometimes don’t charge women who enter.

So I don’t think I agree with this. Furthermore, video games have a majorly male player base and most of them (any multiplayer game, for example) could be considered person-based.

If I'm right, that's not saying anything against women

No, not at all. You make very interesting points I like what you said about aesthetics.

 

[Sayer of the N-Word]

Why don't women care that I can play an obscure folk instrument?

 

[pork and beans]

Why don't women care that I can play an obscure folk instrument?

They dont? Which one is it? Are you any good?

 

[Man at Arms]

I mean I'm a dude but it's pretty obvious that if you have nothing going on in life besides eating pizza and watching Netflix there's really not much of a reason for anyone to put in the effort and go out with you.

So then drinking soy lattees from Starbucks eating vegan oriented food is any different?

These women go to bars and get drunk then sleep with a random guy. None of us wanna go out with them either.

The

Women don't like boring men.

They don't like exciting men either.

Women want to have a man pay their bills, while they fuck around on them and spend their money. 80% of bought goods is women.

 

[Andoxico]

So then drinking soy lattees from Starbucks eating vegan oriented food is any different?

These women go to bars and get drunk then sleep with a random guy. None of us wanna go out with them either.

The

They don't like exciting men either.

Women want to have a man pay their bills, while they fuck around on them and spend their money. 80% of bought goods is women.

There are plenty of political sperging threads, don't do it in the femoid advice thread.

 

[Georgio Cocklord]

The

They don't like exciting men either.

Women want to have a man pay their bills, while they fuck around on them and spend their money. 80% of bought goods is women.

So then drinking soy lattees from Starbucks eating vegan oriented food is any different?

These women go to bars and get drunk then sleep with a random guy. None of us wanna go out with them either.

Go back to A&N, youre ruining the perception of the rest of us

 

[Incel Death Note]

Hey women we have taken this thread over. Now it is guy essay hour WHORE.. this is what means to be a MAN. Do my biceps impress you? Very yousay? interesietng...

 

[Justa Grata Honoria]

How do you find DnD groups that aren't full of socially inept and brainrotted men that will hound you? I love TTRPGs but none of my irl friends and family have been able to commit to anything regular. I'm afraid to join an online group

Go to meetup and Facebook and check any irl groups and then tour them at least one will have maximum concentration of normies that will keep the neckbeards and trannies at bay with their kid and family talk and passive aggressive ignoring them when they step out of line. But that was before i moved in middle of nowhere 3 years ago so i might be out of touch also i live in Norway.

 

[Sayer of the N-Word]

They dont? Which one is it? Are you any good?

I'm so-so. It's a stringed instrument. The electric version is a ton of fun to play, and looks pretty cool besides, but only men seem interested.

 

[umami's milk]

It's the fucking hurdy-gurdy it's gotta be.

 

[Shidoen]

I'm so-so. It's a stringed instrument. The electric version is a ton of fun to play, and looks pretty cool besides, but only men seem interested.

If it's the fucking lute I swear to god. It better be a Rebec.

 

[Sayer of the N-Word]

I don't want to name it because there's not a very large online community for it, sorry gals.

 

[umami's milk]

I don't want to name it because there's not a very large online community for it, sorry gals.

no NIGGA you brought this to our door now you're going to sit here and thug it out til the end.

Is it the dulcimer or other kind of zither?

 

[Andoxico]

Remember it has to have an electric version. I'm thinking just a steel guitar

 

[umami's milk]

There are electric dulcimers, both hammered and not.


The steel guitar is too mainstream for this guy, I feel. Steel guitar is pretty popular for its distinctive hazy sound, no?

 

[Andoxico]

Oh I hadn't seen those before. How many folk instruments have electric options anyways?