Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Mississippi Motorboater]

So, with the 25th Anniversary of The Phantom Menace fast approaching, I've been swept up in all things Episode I--reading novels like Cloak of Deception and Shadow Hunter, the Ron Marz Maul Comic, delving into the novelization and the games released around that time, and flicking back through issues of Star Wars Insider from that period. And let me tell you, seeing some of these ads for merch from that time period really hit me in the feels, and made me wistful of better times for this franchise.

So with the drought of any SW shenanigans till The Acolyte releasing next month, I thought we'd look back at all these old ads to relive some of that hype and buzz for Phantom Menace, while also reveling in some of fun sweepstakes and cool merch from those days.

Spoiler

 

[Fartificial Insmelligence]

@Mississippi Motorboater​

Thank you so much for this! Such a fun trip down memory lane. I won't pretend Phantom Menace is high art by any means, but the visuals and music were absolutely stunning! Queen Amidala's red robe look has to be one of the coolest designs out of the prequel trilogy, or any Star Wars, really. I also love the idea that someone got suckered into paying 50 bucks for a Pepsi can with Jake Lloyd on it haha

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

In the year of 1999, The Phantom Menace ruled the world. This was before the negative critiques of the movie became mainstream; people loved it and kids re-watched the movie again and again. Lucas made the movie for children, and he hit his target audience quite well.

 

[Mississippi Motorboater]

@Mississippi Motorboater​

Thank you so much for this! Such a fun trip down memory lane. I won't pretend Phantom Menace is high art by any means, but the visuals and music were absolutely stunning! Queen Amidala's red robe look has to be one of the coolest designs out of the prequel trilogy, or any Star Wars, really.

No problem! Going through issues of Insider and repeatedly stumbling on these glorious ads was such a treat, that I wanted to share it with the thread. There's so much (rightful) doom and gloom about the state of the franchise nowadays, I thought reminiscing about the excitement Star Wars used to command, irregardless of the actual films, was something that was infectious.

I think that's the power of what Star Wars used to be. Even if you had no positive feelings whatsoever about Phantom Menace, the brand was being expanded so much through the planets, species and concepts introduced in that film, that you could just ignore the film if you wanted and just bury yourself in the part of it that intrigued you the most.

Like, let's say you hate Jar Jar, or Young Anakin, or find the film to be a slog to sit through---fair enough. But you know what your alternative back then was, in 1999 thru 2001? You could better immerse yourself in the Pod Racing by playing Episode I Racer, get more badass Jedi action through Dark Horse comics like Acts of War or Outlander, get more insight to Maul's character through the Episode I Journals or Shadow Hunter or the Maul comics, and get Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's superb and compelling history as master and apprentice through Jude Watson's Jedi Apprentice books--which were the platinum of my local Scholastic Book fair, let me tell you. And it's not just "consoomer" quality goods like a collector's popcorn bucket or something you regret buying even a few years after the hype of the movie....all of the spin-off and tie-in media for Episode I is still very much worth owning and has stood the test of time. Even if you have zero desire to revisit the actual Episode I film, all of the books and comics are still superb, and the toys--in spite of their outdated sculpts and age---have a sheen of beauty, simply because the PT designs have endured exquisitely.

That was the joy of Star Wars back then. Even if the film didn't grab you or immerse you, each film would pave the way for stories or experiences you'd actually enjoy. You'd get something out of it that you could enjoy in isolation from the film.

Getting those kind of redeeming qualities in the form of exciting world-building or cool merch is several, several years behind us.

I also love the idea that someone got suckered into paying 50 bucks for a Pepsi can with Jake Lloyd on it haha

Fuck getting a Pepsi can...I'd want that giant, ridiculous Phantom Menace vending machine. Everything about it screams 90s.

 

[Mr. Racewar1488]

Getting those kind of redeeming qualities in the form of exciting world-building or cool merch is several, several years behind us.

Hey! How can you speak ill of Disney EU when it has great content such as the farting wedding scene in that one book, Geode the rock/navigator on the famous ship The Vessel, and the tranny clone trooper? There's literally DOZENS of people who are reading this stuff! No one is reading your non-canon books anymore, chud!

 

[jspit2.0]

Maul was literally the best thing to come from the Phantom Menace. From the fight choreography, to his scene chewing acting, to the design (satanic and nothing like Vader/James Earl Jones), to the music. Duel of the fates, the tension. Imagine...killing not just one but two characters and them staying dead? The audacity!

Of course the movies is a bloated and at times unbearable mess.

 

[Quarterback Rex Grossman]

Cloak of Deception and Shadow Hunter are 10/10 tie-ins. Luceno is a great author who works best when he isn't having to shove a bunch of convoluted lore into everything like with Gaygueis.

Man I miss 1999 (showing my age here). Cold pepsi at Taco Bell on a hot summer day in those giant Phantom Menace cups. Going home and playing the weird Gungan Murder simulator on my PSX after watching TPM at the theater for the third time because I had nothing else to do. I want to go back, bros!

 

[Vining]

 

[Fartificial Insmelligence]

Maul was literally the best thing to come from the Phantom Menace. From the fight choreography, to his scene chewing acting, to the design (satanic and nothing like Vader/James Earl Jones), to the music. Duel of the fates, the tension. Imagine...killing not just one but two characters and them staying dead? The audacity!

Of course the movies is a bloated and at times unbearable mess.

TPM (and the prequel trilogy in general) may be misfires, but at least I can appreciate them as a singular vision from George Lucas about a story HE wanted to tell, that wasn’t solely about money. You watch the sequel trilogy, however, and it’s obvious the idea to make a Star Wars cashcow series came first for Disney before they actually had any ideas for stories…

 

[Gondolindrim]

What do you think about Tyber Zann?

I remember thinking "Man, that expansion pack looks cool, I hope I get to play it one day"

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

I remember thinking "Man, that expansion pack looks cool, I hope I get to play it one day"

I'm pretty sure you can play it from Steam.

 

[Zero MK 2]

What do you think about Tyber Zann?

He's a bit of a gary stu but never overstays his welcome. Its hilarious how in game he can literally bribe AT-AT's to work for him and his story really starts to fall apart in the later half besides the great finale and the teased expansion that never came to be.

The zann consortium doesn't really seem to go anywhere besides this one off story and was one of the few times star wars created a fringe faction right. Dude has an organization that rivals the galactic empire at the height of its power yet we never hear from him again. Can respect him for not being too bold or actually corrupted by power when he decides to abandon the captured Eclipse but doesn't scuttle it for some reason.

Didnt Petroglyph announce EAW2 a few years back? Did that fall through like the KOTOR remake did?

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

He's a bit of a gary stu but never overstays his welcome. Its hilarious how in game he can literally bribe AT-AT's to work for him and his story really starts to fall apart in the later half besides the great finale and the teased expansion that never came to be.

The zann consortium doesn't really seem to go anywhere besides this one off story and was one of the few times star wars created a fringe faction right. Dude has an organization that rivals the galactic empire at the height of its power yet we never hear from him again. Can respect him for not being too bold or actually corrupted by power when he decides to abandon the captured Eclipse but doesn't scuttle it for some reason.

Zann did what any successful pirate king would do-retire. Take all that money and wealth, and build a paradise for yourself and your crew. And the fact that he suggests he'd let the New Republic form so that he could own a senator suggests that he and his fleet wound up somewhere within the New Republic, backing some puppet senator whom he uses to represent his interests in the NR senate. I love how his second-in-command Urai Fenn had the idea that he should seize the throne using the ship and Palpatine's money, but he says no, because that would just invite too much trouble. The key to keeping your winnings in a high-stakes life of gambling and piracy is to quit when you're ahead.

 

[draggs]

So I was listening to RLM's commentary on Rogue Juan on bandcamp and Jay wouldn't shut the fuck up about how good the CG looked, other than uncanny valley Tarkin and Leia

So I rewatched the Battle of Scarif

And the CGI kinda... sucks

The good stuff: On establishing and wide shots the CGI looks pretty good. The close-up shots of the Star Destroyers look real good, usually, with two exceptions

On the bad, for starters the contrast is too bright. The engine flare, engine nozzles, and engine housings of the Star Destroyers looks very undetailed and cartoonish. Except for Vader's Devastator, the hulls of the Star Destroyers are way too smooth and lacking in detail

The CGI of the AT-ATs mostly sucks. The CGI of the TIE Fighters launching from the shield generator space station thing oh my gawd it's so cartoonish. All the TIE Fighters look very undetailed and too smooth. The X-Wings and Y-Wings look too clean and crisp and detailed. How did they manage to make half the shit on the screen have not enough detail, and the other half too much, in shot after shot? The capital ships lack weight. Yes they're in zero g, I guess I mean mass. The Star Destroyers, again except for the Devastator, look too thin

All the spaceships, capital and snubfighter, I don't know how you manage this with modern CGI, they look like a slightly off compositing job. There's just a slight disconnect between the capital ships and snubfighters in the foreground, and the blackness of space and the planet Scarif in the background. Instead of the objects in the foreground looking like they are part of the same plane as the background, they look like they have been placed on top of the background. Like Mr. Plinkett says, you might not notice it, but your brain does

 

[FatR]

(1)RLM suck all that is dick.
(2)I found CGI in R1 to be pretty average. Neither eyesearing, nor anything to write home about.
(3)The battle of Scarif itself, though, sucked. I know that thinking up coherent fantastic worlds is difficult and shit, so I'm always willing to forgive one case of "why this battle is even happening if you could do THAT?" per batlle, unless the story really goes out of the way to draw my attention to it. Battle of Scarif, besides generally overusing technobattle gimmicks to form its narrative structure, has at least four such cases, and the movie goes out of its way to draw my attention to two of them.

 

[Mississippi Motorboater]

RLM is the same brain trust that thought that Daisy Ridley was a "charismatic actor" and that the fan backlash to Rey was "overblown", as well as declaring any Expanded material to the OT as pointless, because in their minds, Star Wars "doesn't lend itself to any story beyond Rebels vs Empire"....going as far as to say that it would be the equivalent of making "an expanded universe around Back to the Future."

And that's before they gleefully defended TFA for killing off all the Jedi off-screen and reducing their numbers to one or two in exile, because "that's just like the OT era", and that having an Academy or Temple flourishing with masters and students was a "dumb Lucas idea" that needed to be "thrown away".

...This is your brain on OT nostalgia, everybody.

 

[TheAmbiguousLurker]

Yeah, I fucking hate Alderaan. It's my least favorite planet in SWTOR and the fucking kiliks should ironically be exterminated because they're horrible.

It was the fucking worst to traverse. A bunch of long, annoying hallways and winding mountain roads packed the the brim with shitty enemy clusters that stop you from ever straying from the path. Fuck House Rist. All my homies in the Empire and Republic can put aside their differences to dunk on House Rist. It is your duty as an imperial citizen to punch as many noblemen as possible and fuck their wives.

And fuck the Imperial Agent story for constantly forcing me to trek back to that fucking nobleman's house at the barren corner of the map that has no quick travel point with a giant, empty courtyard for no other reason than wasting my fucking time. It's like someone thought the story was going too well and thought they needed to bring back the republic player's pain of the senate tower on Coruscant.

Why did we invent the holocom if we're just gonna constantly insist on having conversations in person?

 

[Mississippi Motorboater]

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

View attachment 5980529​

Do they have the OT? or is it just the Disney shit and Phantom?

 

[The Decimator]

On the subject of Phantom Menace merchandise, how can we forget this classic?