Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[FinnSven]

Jokes on you, they only tell you how to make a patio table!
Also, the quality of books on Humble Bundle is really lackluster now. One of these days Ziff Davis will start selling Patrick's books on it.

Probably. The o’Reilly ones are still worth it usually.
But then again I think I have bought their Linux handbook more than once.

But if he took lessons in woodworking, that would be admitting he's not a master carpenter. The first rule of Pigman club is never learn anything, ever. The second rule of Pigman club is never grow as a person unless you grow in clothing sizes.

My intention was to offend him deeply.

 

[Uncle Buck]

Anyone else have the beautiful mental image of Fat trawling through East Milwaukee in his pigmobile glaring out the windows as he tries to find his lawn chairs in random gardens?

Because if the text exchange in the last page is legit he is driving himself slowly more insane with pig rage so if he thinks he sees them he is gonna charge out the car shrieking "DOYOUHAVEANYIDEA?!!!" at some terrified old lady who inadvertently purchased a chair that looks slightly like fat's

This would actually be a phenomenal happening. Pray the bovine gods make it so.

 

[RollingRock2]

Fatrick and the splintered bandit.

Also the fact that he has (supposedly) filed a police report for stolen shoddily built pallet chairs to the police he is currently suing for responding to 911 calls is really funny to me. You KNOW they started laughing at him the moment he left.

 

[LurkTrawl]

You can hit jaw or some other non lethal area

I never thought of it before but having multiple instantaneous, non-anesthetized root canals with your dental nerve endings flying around in the open air would probably hurt worse than being shot in the lung or liver...

 

[MilkThePig]

This whole chair saga has reminded me just how awful pig's "garden" is. It not only has zero privacy or security but it's also overlooking a shitty ghetto neighborhood filled with government buildings and crack dens.

Nice impoverished life, stupid.

 

[Terence Trent D'ARPA]

You know, he could really own the stalkers by building some second better chairs.

Pat also could have also owned the stlakers by being the better man in that exchange. Imagine if he had replied like the following:

"Although you're not at fault for picking these up, the chairs do hold sentimental value for me which is why I wanted to know what happened to them. Let me tell you a bit about the chairs -- they were my first real woodworking project. I picked up a bunch of tools, scored some free pallets, downloaded some patterns from the Internet, and the only thing it cost me was time. I used them to spruce up my AirBnB and I got a few Twitter likes from the deal.

"I would rather the chairs go to someone local who would use them as opposed to someone reselling them on eBay for a quick buck. I hope you enjoy these chairs just as much as I enjoyed making them!"

Had he written something classy like that, I think it would have improved his standing in the eyes of the funsters. However, they call him "Porque Squealer" for a reason. He couldn't help but give ultimatums and baseless threats ("accessory after the fact" means assisting a criminal from being apprehended, and I don't think anyone is harboring felony funsters) and it's not lost on me that the two individuals there appear to be women. (As we are well aware, Pat really, really likes making threats against women.)

One thing, though: Usually when people post on Craigslist saying they have bulky items they want to get rid of, the stuff is usually left at the end of the driveway near the street, so that people can grab them and go. From the still image, we see that one of the chairs is not in the driveway -- or the yard -- but is at the top of the steps leading out to the driveway. I'm wondering if they went into Patrick's yard to get the chairs from around the firepit, or if the chairs were at the top of the steps when they arrived . . .

Also: if you do need to get rid of things and don't want to pay to have it hauled away, you can have someone grab your stuff in 30 minutes or less with a Craigslist ad. The time it takes to have someone come is entirely based on your street address -- the nicer your neighborhood, the nicer they expect your furniture to be.

No wonder it took 18 hours before someone showed up!

 

[Maude Snew]

Has anybody checked if there's a stealthy lawn chair profile on xitter yet taunting him?

 

[TurboNAS]

Fatrick and the splintered bandit.
View attachment 5994564View attachment 5994565
Also the fact that he has (supposedly) filed a police report for stolen shoddily built pallet chairs to the police he is currently suing for responding to 911 calls is really funny to me. You KNOW they started laughing at him the moment he left.

The AI machine made some nice looking chairs for those images. Patrick should take note and improve his next set of palette chairs.

 

[bile demon]

I'm so sorry, Pat...

 

[Bill Evans 45]

It appears a mischievous redditor has deceived Milwaukee's roundest boy again (found on owen)

It is impossible for him to not be extremely hateable

I know I'm not delivering shock news here, but he really is a copper bottomed cunt. He's the epitome of that saying 'If you meet one asshole today, you met one asshole. If you met 10 assholes, it may be that you're the asshole.'

 

[reptile baht spaniard rid]

I know I'm not delivering shock news here, but he really is a copper bottomed cunt. He's the epitome of that saying 'If you meet one asshole today, you met one asshole. If you met 10 assholes, it may be that you're the asshole.'

There’s also no law of conservation of total assholity - just because someone is an asshole doesn’t mean you aren’t.

Fats can be right about some things and still be an absolute asshole about everything.

 

[Ass to Ass]

It appears a mischievous redditor has deceived Milwaukee's roundest boy again (found on owen)

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Everyone I've ever talked to who was from Milwaukee was either gay or retarded. Roundboy is definitely among the latter.

The usual protestors have a few thoughts about NRA Instructor Pat.
View attachment 5992492View attachment 5992493View attachment 5992494

Dude abandoned his own daughter? Wow, what a scumbag.

And no, police don't have a mandate to protect you. The Supreme Court has ruled on that issue and said they don't have such a mandate. I don't know why people think they do.

 

[reptile baht spaniard rid]

Everyone I've ever talked to who was from Milwaukee was either gay or retarded. Roundboy is definitely among the latter.

As a famous visionary once said, “he sounds like a fag and his shits all retarded.”

 

[Well Intentioned]

It's him making some shit up for a tweet about it being two days instead of the usual waking up the morning after legs and not being able to stand up after your morning shit. DOMS is normal and healthy, but I've never heard of it taking two days to come on. That'd be annoying to me as you typically get it on a rest day and then are ready to go the next or at least feeling better.

DOMS coming 2 days tends to happen if I've been lazy or sick and not active for a bit.

I'd argue for him it's probably tendons and shit atrophying, which becomes more common as you get older, especially if you're a sedentary fat fuck with bitch tits like Patty.

 

[internet friend]

It appears a mischievous redditor has deceived Milwaukee's roundest boy again (found on owen)

View attachment 5994063

Gonna go against the grain and just say I don't fucking believe it. It's a bit too good to be true. "Stlakers", threatening strangers who he claims are innocent, nothing but text boxes.... It's a bit.

 

[The Taco Santo!]

you know he's going to make up some outrageous story where he beat up a dozen guys and rescued his chairs from a terrible fate.

No, he's going to claim that the very real thieves brought the chairs back and sheepishly apologized and, after talking their ears off about his stalkers and his plights, they agreed that the pests deserve to be incarcerated for life. Then they all jumped in Susan and grabbed a beer and meatloaf at a low-priced Milwaukee bar, where the staff all love Pat and certainly didn't roll their eyes at another Pat story. They may or may not have rounded out the evening by gang-farting in Niki's vag.

 

[rusty shackleford 1]

What’s the square supposed to be, the one sitting in front of that one chair? Is that like some retarded foot prop? Firewood holder? His shits all retarded, the chair saga is the funniest thing to happen in the fativerse in a long while.

That he thought the mpd he’s suing would personally retrieve his chairs for him is probably the funniest part. Shithole city full of crime and pat is so naive he thinks they’ll double as two men and a truck for retarded splinter delivery systems.

 

[Kirtto]

Gonna go against the grain and just say I don't fucking believe it. It's a bit too good to be true. "Stlakers", threatening strangers who he claims are innocent, nothing but text boxes.... It's a bit.

Nope it is real, Rickleaks only post real messages, plus he later posted on Facebook saying the same things he said in the messages

 

[Red Frida]

He couldn't help but give ultimatums and baseless threats ("accessory after the fact" means assisting a criminal from being apprehended, and I don't think anyone is harboring felony funsters) and it's not lost on me that the two individuals there appear to be women. (As we are well aware, Pat really, really likes making threats against women.)

"Accessory after the fact? That sounds pretty serious, let me consult with my lawyer about this"
"My lawyer says you're a fat faggot with bitch tits so I don't have to return the chairs"
We can rule Josiah Munoz out as the craigslist funater.

What’s the square supposed to be, the one sitting in front of that one chair? Is that like some retarded foot prop? Firewood holder? His shits all retarded, the chair saga is the funniest thing to happen in the fativerse in a long while.

It's a garden box with nothing in it.

Considering he made his chairs out of garbage why doesn't he just make two more instead of embarrassing himself publicly?

 

[reptile baht spaniard rid]

I want him to amend the complaint in the lawsuit against the cops. You know they’re obstructing justice and could have found them by now.