DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Big Brown Schlub]

Do you see Phil moving that fast?

If he sees an unused iTunes gift card on the ground, maybe.

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

Valdedictorian in a a tiny school body that was designed for sport scholarships. Add in that Phil has the exact type of personaility/autism that lets him memorise defintions and understabding of that exact bullshit word salad he uses to this day no wonder he did will academically at a high school level. He's regressed intellectually since then, remember when he spilled a glass of water and Phil blamed the glass of water for choosing to spill. Kinda insane how he never ever admits he fucked up or was at fault for anything, also blaming the water bottle company for overfilling the bottle when he spilt some water.

That still obscures the real fact: anyone who still talks about their success in high school IN THEIR 40s as some sort of pivotal moment is incredibly insecure.

 

[00R-Gundam]

Even if dsp was "smart" during his high school years all that shows is that his intellect and capacity to understand things has diminished over the years at a rapid pace, brainrot if you will. Of course idk how american schools are in terms of curriculum or how his school operated. That said, i suspect that he started to go downhill the moment he experienced freedom(as in having his own car, going out etc etc) and it doesnt help that his mom pampered along all that and finally the prospect of moving out eventually. Of course usually you would think that would merit some sort of effort from his part, instead he ragequitted computer science, studied for a degree that he hasnt even used fully and is unemplyable all while spending his remaining days doing something he hates

 

[strandedcastaway]

Even if dsp was "smart" during his high school years all that shows is that his intellect and capacity to understand things has diminished over the years at a rapid pace, brainrot if you will. Of course idk how american schools are in terms of curriculum or how his school operated. That said, i suspect that he started to go downhill the moment he experienced freedom(as in having his own car, going out etc etc) and it doesnt help that his mom pampered along all that and finally the prospect of moving out eventually. Of course usually you would think that would merit some sort of effort from his part, instead he ragequitted computer science, studied for a degree that he hasnt even used fully and is unemplyable all while spending his remaining days doing something he hates

He's spent the last decade drinking too much and staying in his safe space where he only thinks about his own narrow interests (gaming, food, his money, trolls, and WWE Champions). He has no friends and his wife is a simpleton. Any conflicting viewpoints on anything, he literally bans. Then what he does learn is from reading tweets. I don't think Phil is actually "stupid" because he's smart enough at using basic psychology to manipulate his even-dumber fanbase. However, he often sounds dumb because he speaks as an expert with only basic knowledge of a topic. Then he speaks endlessly, repeating the same wrong information as if it's set in stone.

Except if you ask him about food. Then he can recite the exact meal he ate on stream 9 years, 4 months ago, how long it took to arrive, whether it was robust and flavorful, and how the company deserves to go bankrupt. But that's about HIM, and that's the only thing he cares about.

 

[Very Honest Content]

It definitely goes back to his childhood, since by now we all know the 'Wolverine' incident where he wanted some action figure of Wolverine, because everybody else seemingly thought this toy was valuable or something,... - likewise, when he DID get that figure later, he didn't care, because it wasn't the "in" thing to have anymore.

The Wolverine figure did have a 'chase' variant in the line. Marvel would always throw collector bait into their product license lines back then, the card series had holographic chase cards for example in series 2 of them, and there was a rare variant paint job on the toy. However, I have previously attempted to construct from Phil's own words about this story what the actual figure was, and to the best of my knowledge, it's not even the rare one that's collectable. Either he thought a Weapon X toy variant painted red instead of green on cables or vice versa was the prized one, or he thinks that it's a Jim Lee design flashback figure from Logan in the weapon x program strike team stories in the comics, which was not the valuable one. Either way, Phil threw a hissy fit that ejects salt in 2024 still and probably didn't even cry about anything worth bothering keeping in the box for resale value in present day, is the hilarious part of this continual cope lore.

 

[Skippy Shortbottom]

For men ages 18 to 28; maximum score for the Marine Corps PFT is 3 miles in 18 minutes, you lose 1 point for every... ... ... 6 or 10 seconds after, IIRC. I'm not gonna say everyone does it, because we don't, my best time ever was 20:20, while in the best shape of my life at the age of 24 and even then I wanted to fucking die after it.

If you're doing a 5 minute mile and strong enough to do it for 5 miles straight, you either are or getting close to being an Olympian. But not just that, he doesn't have a runner's frame/build, and going by younger pics, never did. Now let's get down to autism; a 5 minute mile would be moving at 12/mph. Do you see Phil moving that fast?

Yeah. Look at him go!

Here is him going a slower pace so his friend John can keep up.

 

[Fapcop]

Still hard to belief that DSP would be the best of anything (or on average) in a group of 147 people. It's an indictment of that school or the school system if the dozens of kids much smarter than DSP didn't manage to flourish in the environment.

Meh… If he was the only white kid in a Black school, the teachers probably gave him a couple of bonus points just because he wasn’t eeking and ooking.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Still hard to belief that DSP would be the best of anything (or on average) in a group of 147 people. It's an indictment of that school or the school system if the dozens of kids much smarter than DSP didn't manage to flourish in the environment.

Playing Devil's Advocate here but it is quite possible that Phil actually was smarter than the rest of his graduating year, if this was a small school built to pump out sports players and not academics. We don't really know a whole lot about Phil's early years besides the wolverine story, because he's the one who talked about the Wolverine toy.

That doesn't necessarily set the bar impossibly high, of course. And it further underscores something else: Phil may have been forced to perform well at academics, he just doesn't talk about his school days or what going to school actually was like for him (that I know of, he may actually have done this at some point). It's just that after he was set loose on his own, his numerous personality flaws contributed to him rapidly declining in mental ability and now we've got the gout ridden piece of shit mocking people for possibly flipping burgers (on their patio barbeques because they have the kind of money to do that, while he burns money on sweaty man JPGs and begging retards for disability money six times a week).

That still obscures the real fact: anyone who still talks about their success in high school IN THEIR 40s as some sort of pivotal moment is incredibly insecure.

Very much like how I expect CWC still looks back on those halcyon MHS days with the gal pals, even though now he knows even THAT was one big lie.

The Wolverine figure did have a 'chase' variant in the line. Marvel would always throw collector bait into their product license lines back then, the card series had holographic chase cards for example in series 2 of them, and there was a rare variant paint job on the toy. However, I have previously attempted to construct from Phil's own words about this story what the actual figure was, and to the best of my knowledge, it's not even the rare one that's collectable. Either he thought a Weapon X toy variant painted red instead of green on cables or vice versa was the prized one, or he thinks that it's a Jim Lee design flashback figure from Logan in the weapon x program strike team stories in the comics, which was not the valuable one. Either way, Phil threw a hissy fit that ejects salt in 2024 still and probably didn't even cry about anything worth bothering keeping in the box for resale value in present day, is the hilarious part of this continual cope lore.

That also could explain why he wasn't happy when he actually did get the toy later on from his parents - it wasn't the rare version.

 

[UncleTusky]

That still obscures the real fact: anyone who still talks about their success in high school IN THEIR 40s as some sort of pivotal moment is incredibly insecure.

Or hasn't done anything of note since then. Phil's high school may have been a shithole but some of the students there probably went to university, settled down, and started families. Not an exciting life but happy and stable. This is definitely true for the people who went to university with him; some of them might even be executives or attorneys now. Meanwhile all Phil has is his 4th place EVO trophy and an online presence that revolves around him being a big joke. Certainly nothing to prove he's the smartest or most accomplished guy in the room.

In short, he's a less likable Al Bundy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_qa0EEKZ90

Edit to add:

That also could explain why he wasn't happy when he actually did get the toy later on from his parents - it wasn't the rare version.

Correct, there was one telling of the story where he flat out said this: He wasn't mad for reasons you'd expect from a (man)child like the toy not being cool anymore or thinking waiting in any form was intolerable, he was mad because they got the 2nd production run with a lower resale value.

 

[Corpun]

The idea of DSP grugwalking/waddling around his gated community is still such a hilarious thing to imagine given how weird a lie it was to tell. Has asking questions about it been sent to banworld now?

Still hard to belief that DSP would be the best of anything (or on average) in a group of 147 people. It's an indictment of that school or the school system if the dozens of kids much smarter than DSP didn't manage to flourish in the environment.

School is/was apparently very urban style, but with a tuition cost of 16,000 dollars (Assuming there aren't two schools of the same name in Bridgeport) I would hope that the parents get their moneys worth. Maybe the curriculum is just absolute dogshit.

 

[Kheapathic]

this is still the most absurd shit I've ever heard. I'm not saying you're a liar, but the strongest guy I know, who can easily bench 250 with no issue, says he could only run 1 mile in 6 minutes. that would put him at exactly the cusp of hitting 3 miles in 18 minutes if he did it perfectly. that's nuts. i only ever did 1 mile in 11 minutes because im an ugly gamer.

No need to be a disbeliever, because I agree with what you say; it's also why getting a 300 (Perfect) PFT was so fucking difficult and a sign of respect. Highest I ever got was 286 and only ever known 4 guys who could manage an 18 minute 3 mile. Two were track runners in high-school (and chain smokers, I mean literally, running with a cigarette in their mouths) third was an amateur MMA guy, and the fourth was just an overall PT stud (with a very light frame).

100 Crunches / 1 point per Crunch, easy, only people who miss this are literal slobs.
20 Pull-ups / 5 points per pull-up, put in dedicated work and you'll get there.
18 minute 3 mile run / Go fuck yourself, this is where you get filtered.

Here's the updated (2020) PFT score table for the run, if you're curious;

https://www.fitness.marines.mil/Portals/211/Docs/PFT_CFT/PFT_CFT%20Standards/Table%202-4%20PFT%203%20Mile%20Run%20Scoring%20Tables.pdf?ver=2019-01-07-111305-433

That's why Phil, at any age, per pictures and videos we've seen of him. 5 miles in 25 minutes? Nigga please, I'd have an easier time believing Derich is a playboy who beds pornstars on the regular before I believe Phil could ever fucking move that fast.

 

[AGoodBrazilian]

He’s being such a smug asshole tonight while beating on scrubs in casual

“You got double perfect as Ken against a lily!”

Says the guy doesn’t deserve a rematch and leaves

Gets paired against him a match later and the Ken 2-0 him while T baggin him and Phil leaves saying he didn’t earn the win lmao

Then he fucking blocks the guy calling him the worst player he’s every played against “I double perfect you and you just got lucky cause you’re playing Ken, go fuck yourself”

Thinnest skin on the planet I swear, only he gets to literally laugh and mock people

It's the way that Phil's uses to cope that he is now a midwit in fighting games. If he win he is so good that even with a low tier caracther he manage to win. If lose the game is broken, the enemy character is OP and didn't deserve to win.

 

[Need Help With Tips]

DSP double perfects a Ken, says he doesn't deserve a rematch and leaves.
DSP: "See what happens when there's no pressure to rank up? I'm less angry, the matches are more casualized and more fun"
The matchmaking pits them together again, DSP loses, and he whips out this rant.

Can't make this shit up.

 

[Balr0g]

It's the way that Phil's uses to cope that he is now a midwit in fighting games. If he win he is so good that even with a low tier caracther he manage to win. If lose the game is broken, the enemy character is OP and didn't deserve to win.

And when he looses to low tier characters it's lag and other bullshit. Or he doesn't know the matchup because he rarely sees the character. You can't argue with Phil about his looses when he wins it's because he nis good when he looses the opponent cheats. Always has been that way. He probably kept quiet in arcades because otherwise he would have gotten that fat ass whooped. (from what I have seen he only bragged in SRK threads, his own jerk off site and AOL groups. Ofr coursde on SRK he was shot down so much he probably looked like Swiss cheese)

 

[Cardef1121]

I know there's been some talk about the viewbotting going on. But last night's stream had up to 18k viewers. What do you think the goal could be of the dent or alog doing this, how extreme might it get and how long might it go on?

 

[Mister Baranavichy]

I know there's been some talk about the viewbotting going on. But last night's stream had up to 18k viewers. What do you think the goal could be of the dent or alog doing this, how extreme might it get and how long might it go on?

That sounds funny as shit, I hope their dented-minded delusions just keep forcing them to up the anti - 100k youtube stream viewers by next quarter.

 

[Fapcop]

I know there's been some talk about the viewbotting going on. But last night's stream had up to 18k viewers. What do you think the goal could be of the dent or alog doing this, how extreme might it get and how long might it go on?

Just to piss Phil off.

Which isn’t hard to do. His streams are his little safe space, (and his BUSINESS!) so anything that even mildly interferes with it, no matter how harmless, will rile him up in to a fit of porcine rage.

It never fails: Stream gets viewbotted, Phil goes off on several 5 minute long tangents about how it’s not affecting the stream, and how dumb the detractors are for doing it. Followed by a couple of ban fests, because the dents are talking about it, AND ITS AGAINST THE RULES!

 

[Pepper Jack]

DSP talking about Deeritch in chat prior to the prestream. Will cross post in Derich's thread.

 

[Skippy Shortbottom]

DSP double perfects a Ken, says he doesn't deserve a rematch and leaves.
DSP: "See what happens when there's no pressure to rank up? I'm less angry, the matches are more casualized and more fun"
The matchmaking pits them together again, DSP loses, and he whips out this rant.
View attachment 5999559
Can't make this shit up.

Yeah my thought was he knew it was a fluke and didn't want the rematch to prove it was just a fluke when he GIMMICKS a character that is essentially a knowledge check for an underage girl played by a 42 year old man.

Fates intervened and look at that. Doesn't take a single round off of him as if it was a real set of 2 out of 3. So of course he runs like a little faggot nigger.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Yet another delusions of gran-door/midlife crisis segment. Did you guys know that Phil invented playthroughs and Youtube shorts but "these people" don't want him to get credit for it? It's no wonder he has a problem with the woman protagonist in the new AnalCreed game but not the black dood, his WE WUZing would put even the most unhinged Black Israelite to shame.