My project to use 24/7 outdoor music broadcast to repel urban hoodlums - don't let your memes stay dreams

[Catgirl Tyranid]

What no baby shark?

The point is to annoy the vagrants while still being present in the area. This would drive EVERYONE mad.

 

[millais]

The point is to annoy the vagrants while still being present in the area. This would drive EVERYONE mad.

Yes, Baby Shark and similar children's music is the "nuclear option". If these hoodrats start doing property damage, carrying weapons, or doing other criminal activity on my side of the property boundary, then I will take up that last resort.

 

[Catgirl Tyranid]

Yes, Baby Shark and similar children's music is the "nuclear option". If these hoodrats start doing property damage, carrying weapons, or doing other criminal activity on my side of the property boundary, then I will take up that last resort.

Optional: Add the Bible Man animated series opening to your list for the nuclear option.

 

[Klugii]

If you're looking for harpsichord, Domenico Scarlatti is one of the best.

 

[Ignatius von Cistern]

Have you considered Zappa?

And BTW, fantastic work & thread. Really enjoying this.

 

[Johnny Doxville]

Now caught up on this thread. One of the best I've ever read. Drawing from my experience trolling people with music I thought I'd throw some suggestions out here, these are straight up nuclear options though, which I'm aware you want to avoid, but I can assure you any vagrants will disperse once you've put these on

- Mamoru Samuragochi's Hiroshima symphony (borderline ear rape and extremely discordant throughout this long piece, you may have heard some of it in the twin peaks revival episode that has no dialogue)

- Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music (considered the first "fully electronic album" it's an hour of harsh static and loops pretty well, it's genuinely unlistenable)

- The Shaggs' Philosophy of the world (schizo dad went crazy, got a message from God and used his three daughters, all with no musical experience, to form a band. This album is equally insane and dire)

- captain beefhearts trout mask replica (mentioned in the thread, has way too much going on at all times, likely to induce schizo episodes)

I hope the units remain there unmolested, semper fi OP

 

[Ignatius von Cistern]

...wonderful outsider music

I was also going to suggest

as well as Jandek, but I think our man is looking for uplifting tunes (I know I was suggesting Anal Cunt and Mortician before, but those won't work).

I think what he's doing is outsider enough and the effect is hilarious. I didn't realise black people can be allergic to music made by white people. That's quite something.

 

[Racist Parrot]

It's not fair that we can't target practice these people. Absolute burdens.

 

[Botchy Galoop]

I think what he's doing is outsider enough and the effect is hilarious.

Fuck you for infesting me with this brain worm. I love it.

 

[Ignatius von Cistern]

Fuck you for infesting me with this brain worm. I love it.

My gift to you. Also, great at parties.

 

[millais]

More photos of the encampment from last few days. They've been listening to the theme song from 1967 Julie Andrews musical "Thoroughly Modern Millie" on loop for 3 days straight. Acoustics are pretty good. I can hear the music from about half a block away sometimes.

Spoiler

And here is a photo of the recently reactivated broadcast unit from the original version of this project. A few months ago, I actually replaced both sets of desktop speakers with speakers from another long-since decommissioned broadcast unit, as the original speakers were physically falling apart after years of use. It's not very aesthetically pleasing as this is one of the very first units I wired together, using a much more primitive and improvised mounting system.

• Bosnian Artillery
• I Don't Fault the Police
• Freie Deutsche Jugend
• Hava Nagila
• Kali Yuga
• Tanc e Lelek
• The Impression that I Get
• Red Sun in the Sky

Hope that helps. I don't know if it needs to be strictly instrumental or what, but this is some of the least black music I know that fits the "consistently loud and no bass" theme.

Good suggestions, I was thinking about Freie Deutsche Jugend and Tanc e Lelek. Red Sun in the Sky would be a great meme addition; funnily enough, the very first track I tested on the old version of this project was "The Firedrake", which is an obnoxious instrumental Chinese musical performance that the PRC uses to jam Voice of America and Taiwanese shortwave broadcasts in Mainland China.

In the original version of this project, there was a lot of Yugorock in the playlist, including Bosanska Artiljerija, the Teslicka Brigada band music (maybe even the full album, I can't recall), Igra Rokenrol Cela Jugoslavia, Bojna Cavoglave, etc. It didn't work too good, but I kept it for the memes.

Gotta say, if there was such a contraption active near me I'd actively seek it out to hang out next to it because from what I saw most of the music you chose is right up my alley. Yet again, I'm not a nog so I suppose it has the complete opposite effect on me. Also, thank you @millais for introducing me to Boeremusiek with your previous iteration of the project, that's definitely gonna be a the genre I'll be listening to for quite a bit for the next week or so.

For a while, I was really interested in Boeremusiek. Fortunately there are voluminous uploads of old vinyls online, so even though it may be a stagnant musical genre today, its past is pretty well catalogued.

I think there is a charm to the early recordings, from 1920s - 1930s, as they are from a seminal era of Afrikaner cultural and linguistic development, and I can really imagine that traditional sound being very close to the 19th century frontier roots.

By the 1940s, the recordings and musicians are more slickly produced and some of the styles are codified, so it starts sounding a bit samey.

I think it may have reached its most interesting stage of evolution in the 1950s-1960s when the Afrikaner musicians started blending it with American country music instrumentals and European yodeling interludes.

 

[Peaches the Wonder Cat]

George Crumb's "Black Angels":

Schoenberg's "Moses und Aaron":

Penderecki's "Threnody":

 

[Pentaborane]

 

[Probably An Autist]

god speed o7

don't really have suggestions. i wish you the best on your neighbor relocation program, watched.

 

[millais]

I don't want to prematurely declare "mission accomplished", but having the same song on looping repeat for 2 weeks seems to have done it. The encampment is no longer being set up within range of the new broadcast unit. It probably could have been any song, not that "Thoroughly Modern Millie" theme song is more effective than any other on repeat.

There are still a lot of hoodrats and illegals attempting to transit through or loiter in the area though, just now they know to avoid the areas that are fully covered by the 2 working broadcast units, so I will need to rig up some new broadcast units when I'm not so busy in order to get full coverage.

The illegals can't read the English "no trespassing" signs and unlike the hoodrats they are too ignorant to fear the police response, so these illegals are now fairly brazen about trespassing onto my side of the property boundary and getting drunk and sleeping on my side of the line. The only good thing about them is that only the mentally ill ones tend to be violent and belligerent.

I also think the illegals may have a higher tolerance for nigger-repellent music, since they love that Mexican polka shit. But we'll see if they like it when I set up more speakers blasting right above where they are trying to sleep and get drunk.

I don't know why they come all the way to US just to indulge in nonstop day-drinking and sleeping on pavement and parking lot. They could have done that to their hearts' content back in their country.

 

[Roland TB-303]

They could have done that to their hearts' content back in their country.

And for much, much cheaper I imagine. The weather is probably better too.

 

[millais]

Sometime yesterday night, the first chimpening occurred. The hoodrats bashed the speakers pretty badly to the point of silencing them and they took a chunk out of the wall too.

Maybe with some thrown bricks or swinging a long piece of lumber.

After some fiddling with the wires, I restored the lower pair of speakers back to working order, but it will be too easy to knock it out again.

So tomorrow I will be replacing both speakers with more powerful ones (20 watt peak compared to 12 watt peak before) and enclosing the whole broadcast unit with a protective steel cage.

This is a type of property damage, so I'll notify the police as well.

 

[Myrtle the Turtle]

Have you considered putting one of those steel guard cages over them? This one looks pretty weak but you can get stronger ones and use something like Torx bolts to mount it to prevent casual unscrewing.

Edit: I am a retard on mobile, I did not read last 2 sentences correctly.

 

[Botchy Galoop]

Sometime yesterday night, the first chimpening occurred.

Iirc, they will soon reach the limit of their combined problem-solving skills and glumly slouch towards Bethlehem, to disturb someone else's peace.
I would think the steel cage will be enough.

 

[Catgirl Tyranid]

So tomorrow I will be replacing both speakers with more powerful ones (20 watt peak compared to 12 watt peak before) and enclosing the whole broadcast unit with a protective steel cage.

You should paint the steel roughly the same color as the wall to further confound wannabe vandals. Maybe add some kind of mesh to further obfuscate what exactly the speakers look like. It could further frustrate attempts to stop the tunes.