Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[ASeabear8952]

What could he have done to break this one?

1.Siri was trolling him and he tard raged

2.He dropped it and it got ran over by a car while he laughed thinking that it was someone else phone


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It was acting cute.

 

[bonified retard]

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

drunken tardrage?

Do you really need the question mark? Of course it was. He's in the double digits now, every single phone was broken by him tard smashing because Siri cannot understand the slurred words from his carp lips as he yells at trolls. He's never once broken a phone like a regular person, like dropping it. Unless of course you want to count the time he lied about it being ran over by a truck despite admitting that he bog smashed that one as well.

I just wish he did it one camera ;\

 

[Dill]

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Hahaha yessssstthh dood

 

[grand larsony]

There was a free wiki but it wasn't backed up and when it was taken down (I don't know why it was taken down), all the content was lost.

We could set up a new free wiki but we'd need some tech smarty pants like @grand larsony to mirror the content so that in the eventual likely event of a takedown the content is preserved. That might be an easier solution to self hosting as no one person needs to go through what Null did with regards to a registrar and host that is able to help retain anonymity, and prevent a woke takedown, of those managing the service. Kiwifarms unfortunately has a lot of powerful enemies in the tech sector, and it only takes one deranged troon to dox the whole operation, just due to the affiliation, even when we are merely building up a collection of Cobra lore for the most harmless cosiest of all the cows.

A kiwi member managed wiki would be the best way to protect against alogs posting the infamous 'shit list', but the affiliation presents serious risks. Some dude in Australia got done for 400k via Liz Fong Jones, an ex google SRE, so any kind of kiwi affiliated Cobra wiki comes with personal risk to those managing it.

I hope we can come up with some solution as Cobra is a very unique individual and if we don't start cataloguing it now it could be lost. The bread tubers maintain their own private resources that they share with each other, but they don't own Cobra, he belongs to everyone.

I got DokuWiki installed, me and Bogger might be setting up a public wiki pretty soon here. Right now it's just running locally. Just need to get the hosting stuff worked out so it's safe and won't put a target on either of our backs from the alog spazzes. I decided to use the Cobratron to write this article. It did decently well, though its tone needs a bit of work. I think this would be the best application of the Cobratron code, since setting up a chat website or a phone line for it are both quite difficult and come with some downsides that are more difficult to work around than using it to write static articles.
This is exactly what it chose to write btw, I didn't editorialize it at all. Right now I'm still messing with DokuWiki and learning about the formatting stuff, but in the future a human touch will probably be needed.

 

[Hennimore]

Yesterday Jord mentioned that he spilt his Body Armor drink and that he "did a great job of controlling his anger". I was wondering why he felt the need to randomly mention that with absolutely zero context but seeing that his phone is broke yet again it all makes sense. He absolutely broke it because he spilt his drink and rightfully felt shameful about it which of course means he has to get out ahead of it with his cope.

 

[Ashwar]

How does one break that phone for the 4th time in less than a year and have it that mangled. That was just not one throw that was about 5 and a few punches. JOSHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY come over for my Birthday.....SMASH PHONE

 

[Rapier Ape]

Wendy's brews their teas in stainless percolators and then chills them in the fridge.

Didn't know that one. I was thinking they were just the boxes of concentrate.
I mean if the things arent labelled or somehow identifiable then honestly that's on Wendy's.

 

[Slim Boglim]

Didn't know that one. I was thinking they were just the boxes of concentrate.
I mean if the things arent labelled or somehow identifiable then honestly that's on Wendy's.

If I recall correctly it was boxes of concentrate that needed to be mixed with water. He’d take both concentrates, mix two “buckets” of sweet and unsweetened teas, take them to the lobby, and get confused which was which and put them in the wrong containers. It’s one of those things you get a pass for screwing up once (if it’s unlabeled concentrates at least no excuse if they’re labeled) but you take steps so it doesn’t happen again. He screwed it up so consistently it was a liability to let him mix tea so they took away his tea making privileges. He got them back and was proud about it and promptly fucked it up again

 

[Bogliacci]

Our boy is on a roll, smoking in his videos has unbound him! He's even reverting to his Terrance Popp phase

 

['Ole Dente]

What do you mean, we have gained almost 750 pages since the beginning of this year. Yes, it absolutely does. Besides the whole point is to keep a manicured concise content thread where everything can be archived and viewed for posterity and not buried in 750 pages of group home and why didn't clint do X loops. It should be this way for every cow with a thread >100 pages IMO, just for posterity alone.

I agree but the problem is twofold, alright.

1. There is enough interest in Cobra to facilitate a board but the vast majority of that interest is specifically off-site. You can argue that having that board would bring more people here from those outside sources but I don't necessarily know if that's a good thing since most of the interest is from Discord niggers and TikTok deadbrains.

2. The interest in Cobra on site is not enough to facilitate a board because it's the same 20+ people, us included, saying the same shit over and over and looking for recap links/speculating. There's nothing wrong with most of that as that's basically the function of the site itself but relative to people like Chris and the Gunt, there's just not a huge outpouring of user activity to justify it and Cobra's active universe of "characters" that interact with each other is non-existent. Even the characters that exist wouldn't garner much attention on their own. Null could make a board for Cobra and...Alexzander Campbell for instance would have a dead thread for years, Scotty too. All these people would have dead threads with a single one where everything is concentrated, which is just going to be this one.

What could he have done to break this one?

1.Siri was trolling him and he tard raged

2.He dropped it and it got ran over by a car while he laughed thinking that it was someone else phone

Jessica was incessantly calling him while he was drunk and he yelled "OH MY GOD FUCK OFF WITH YOUR BULLSHIT" and smashed it probably

 

[bonified retard]

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[Blue Miaplacidus]

The interest in Cobra on site is not enough to facilitate a board

I don't know why people are thinking I want multiple threads for every video or a subforum. I was specifically talking about a singular thread for content only for archival purposes and posterity, and a second thread for discussion. It changes nothing at all other than maintaining a single source of actual lolcow content and updates which would include local archives, video links, blog posts, social media posts, relevant articles, etc. It's healthier in the long run, makes archival, research, and exploring new cows much easier and cleaner, and even helps the discussion threads overall as people catching up don't have to wade through pages and pages of "happy 1000 pages!" "lolcow makes me mad" etc. High-light browsing is the best way to catch up or to explore new threads, but even that makes you miss lots of content, especially in fast moving threads during a happening. Other lolcow adjacent forums operate this way, and so does some eve-online forums I frequent, it's so much nicer than everything dumped into a single thread.

No subforum, no board, no 100 threads. 2 threads. content + discussion, which are pinned to each other for easy browsing. Anyway, I'll shut up about. When I hit the lottery and get my clocktower mansion I'll buy a second thread.

 

['Ole Dente]

No subforum, no board, no 100 threads. 2 threads. content + discussion, which are pinned to each other for easy browsing

Sure I don't see anything wrong with that, you'll have to find an archivist or two to dedicate some time to it or it'll be a waste but yeah doable, send Null an email laying out what you like concisely and see what happens.

 

[Molly Millions]

Cobra taking a common L as he loses another debate with a pre recorded Brett Cooper video

He certainly seems to have a type

He likes dangerous brunettes

 

[Bilbo Boglims]

Little bit off topic but I found Richie Reit (old cobraverse side character) streaming on kick

https://kick.com/richie-reit

 

[Grape Garden]

I can’t quit laughing at this face. I had no idea what I was going to say with this image but it was here when I came back.

Our boy is on a roll, smoking in his videos has unbound him! He's even reverting to his Terrance Popp phase

Also, that video responce seems a little pointed at certain crazy women. Jessica is going to be pissed. And damn those talons on those bog feet. I still love how he thinks pheromones work. Shakes bottle, 1000 yard duster stare.

Edit: he’s so shit faced, lol just slamming that vodka, made in America…except when it’s not and it’s Swedish vodka.

 

[BullfrogBill]

Remember when Cobes broke his phone because of that horn sound he himself set it to make for notifications? I remember from a recent video Cobes posted that his phone went off with that same stupid horn in the middle of talking and he stopped and looked at it in agitation for a couple of seconds before continuing to speak. I have a feeling Cobes broke his phone off camera because the horn sound he's so autistically obsessed with annoyed him again.

 

[Slim Boglim]

Remember when Cobes broke his phone because of that horn sound he himself set it to make for notifications? I remember from a recent video Cobes posted that his phone went off with that same stupid horn in the middle of talking and he stopped and looked at it in agitation for a couple of seconds before continuing to speak. I have a feeling Cobes broke his phone off camera because the horn sound he's so autistically obsessed with annoyed him again.

As usual he’s his own biggest troll

 

[JambledUpWords]

Our boy is on a roll, smoking in his videos has unbound him! He's even reverting to his Terrance Popp phase

“Pussies give birth to life” - Cobes 2024

“Men need to stop bottling up their feelings, and women need to stop being over emotional. It’s a simple solution, but no one wants to talk about it… if you accuse a woman of being overly emotional, you’re sexist.” - Art of (the Gender) War, Cobra Tzu

“Being overly emotional is just stupid, depending on the situation, of course.” - King Cobra 2024 A.D