How did you lose your virginity? - Pole goes in Hole.

[Stephanie Bustcakes]

When I made love to my high test, six and a half foot tall, hung like a horse, millionaire husband Chad Bustcakes on our honeymoon in Paris, which is also when we conceived the first of our four kids. You can't prove any of this didn't happen.

 

[Trollish and Suspicious]

I put my peepee inside pamela anderson and she said it was the biggest ever.

 

[Axiom.]

I know this would come up.

Yes, we had sex, I never came though, nor was I hard at all. She was crying the whole time, it was awful.

 

[Dr. Puncherillo]

Was middle school, we are at her place and didn't really plan too. Was her idea (thank you uncle for the condom +awkward talk) i lay down not even one minute in "NANI!! MY DADS HOME!" neither of us finished or felt really anything.

 

[UncleFezziesPantsPuppet]

My uncle came home drunk one night, you see…..

 

[peachlover669]

Lets just say that getting the role in spykids 3 wasnt cheap and that director was quite the needy man

 

[WhatInTheActualFuck]

Nah.

Tell us the story

Nah. You can do your own version if you want.

 

[Lion Kang]

I lost it in a forest. He was very sweet, and it wasn't awkward even though he was a virgin too. I hope he's living his best wherever he is.

Whore.

 

[parsnip]

Whore.

Virgin

 

[Lion Kang]

Virgin

You don't know how thankful I am to be one.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

Once upon a time i dated a chick who was so conservative, she didnt even want to hold hands with me without her parent permission.
I was a dateless virgin myself so i went with it. My friend and his date had introduced me to this fat chick with double D tits that was DTF. I broke up with my girlfriend over a text that week and took this girl to my section 8 housing complex. I turned on the TV and we fucked from the beginning of Judge Judy to the end of Judge Judy.

Later that week i get a text from my ex, asking where i have been and why i was going to places i was going, this bitch was stalking me. it got to the point where she was stalking my friends. their families started getting texts from this bitch, and so i had no choice but to confront her. i told her how i felt and that she was acting crazy. and that was the last I heard from her.

3 years later, im in the library of my high school, ditching class, when i see a familiar face. It was the same bitch but she had a buzzcut, and tattoos everywhere. I was stoned ATM and asked "hey are you (name)?"
She immediately recognizes me and tells me to come over.
She had been reading bad fanfics and we began reading them together.
Later she tells me shes a lesbian and became rebellious since we last spoke.

We end up ditching class together, and going to various places
until one day we are in the park.
she starts talking shit to me and i wrestle her to the ground
she gives me the look
then we went into the public bathroom and fucked each others brains out.

I later had to move to the inner city but ill never forget that story.

 

[Carlos Thin]

Dated a girl who was my best friend, but slowly became weirder and weirder to me. We’d make out for a long time but nothing past that. One night, as we were alone in my house, she asked me if I wanted to and of course I jumped at the opportunity. But her being her had to make it as uncomfortable as possible: she took off her underwear, I took off my pants and slowly made my way inside her; all the while she kept saying “don’t look down”, I wasn’t allowed go past 2nd base (above clothes), and when it was over she ran to the bathroom and immediately announced she was going home. The next day I admitted my qualms about the whole situation, and she burst into an argument. That relationship did not last long.

DOESN'T MATTER, HAD SEX.

 

[BallsDeepInAi]

All I'm gonna say is that I was flaccid when it happened due to being a chronic masturbator. Horrible first time but the grueling embarassment made me very hard, but she was gone at that point.
I blasted off in my hands that night, so was it really sex? I guess it counts since it was my first time getting naked with a girl.

@Bogs

Sex with an autistic best friend.

Sorry to hear that buddy, seems like she was haywire in the first place.
If you couldn't look down how the hell did you guys do foreplay? Did you put it in dry? I would've forced myself onto her, sounds to me she got cold feet and she just needed a little push on your end. But I'm lacking context on her problems so maybe I would've ended up getting arrested or murdered.

Edit: I'm retarded

We'd make out for a long time.

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

I enjoyed prison, stalker.

 

[BallsDeepInAi]

Once upon a time i dated a chick who was so conservative, she didnt even want to hold hands with me without her parent permission.

Later that week i get a text from my ex, this bitch was stalking me. it got to the point where she was stalking my friends. their families started getting texts from this bitch, and so i had no choice but to confront her. i told her how i felt and that she was acting crazy. and that was the last I heard from her. It was the same bitch but she had a buzzcut, and tattoos everywhere.

Self proclaimed lesbians are often liars and unrecovered trauma victims, her parents being one of the main causes of course.
They ruin themselves as a form of cope and to make themselves very undesirable because they have poor self esteem and they view themselves to be undeserving of love. That's why they always cause all sorts of fucking misery and problem, they subconsciously sabotage.

You unintentionally dodged a bullet. I hope you didn't develop desire after fucking her, Leave her be. The only thing people like her are good for is to be a quick pump for anyone that knows how to manipulate mentally ill people. That's just the truth, she's unlikely to recover without any support.

 

[isalaide]

My then boyfriend is a pretty shy person around the old intimacy. So to be honest, it didn't really come up as a serious proposition for about ten months. This was obviously fine at first, and then it was starting to be embarrassing.

I decided to take control of the problem, and told him he either had to sleep with me or we had to break up,* because it was embarrassing to be virgins at our age. Also it looked super bad for my rep that it was known he was not railing me, as it led people to think there was something wrong with me or he had a broke dick.

An afternoon to cut classes was chosen. It was Valentine's Day, because why not load on the pressure. We went to his flat. The deed was accomplished. It was sore and also extremely awkward. Afterwards we went for chips and consoled each other on this shit experience. A couple months afterwards we were drunk on a night out, went back to his flat and decided we would give it another go. This was more successful and less awkward, although I did have to throw up afterwards. This was not his fault, it was because of vodka. We had to practice a bit until we got it right and also decreased the cringe to acceptable levels.

It's lucky we got married, because honest to god I could not imagine doing something that awkward with anyone else, ever. It is so bad to try to learn how to have sex when neither of you knows what you are doing and you both just want to curl up and die with embarrassment. I respect everyone who has managed to have more than one sexual partner.

Lesson: Do not make a date to have sex. It is very weird. If you are stupid enough to do that, definitely drink first.

*this is incredibly toxic behaviour and he should as a matter of principle have dumped me for this; this was absolutely not the way to confront this issue; I have apologised many times but he tells me not to be gay about it

 

[3deadniggers]

My then boyfriend is a pretty shy person around the old intimacy. So to be honest, it didn't really come up as a serious proposition for about ten months. This was obviously fine at first, and then it was starting to be embarrassing.

I decided to take control of the problem, and told him he either had to sleep with me or we had to break up,* because it was embarrassing to be virgins at our age. Also it looked super bad for my rep that it was known he was not railing me, as it led people to think there was something wrong with me or he had a broke dick.

An afternoon to cut classes was chosen. It was Valentine's Day, because why not load on the pressure. We went to his flat. The deed was accomplished. It was sore and also extremely awkward. Afterwards we went for chips and consoled each other on this shit experience. A couple months afterwards we were drunk on a night out, went back to his flat and decided we would give it another go. This was more successful and less awkward, although I did have to throw up afterwards. This was not his fault, it was because of vodka. We had to practice a bit until we got it right and also decreased the cringe to acceptable levels.

It's lucky we got married, because honest to god I could not imagine doing something that awkward with anyone else, ever. It is so bad to try to learn how to have sex when neither of you knows what you are doing and you both just want to curl up and die with embarrassment. I respect everyone who has managed to have more than one sexual partner.

Lesson: Do not make a date to have sex. It is very weird. If you are stupid enough to do that, definitely drink first.

*this is incredibly toxic behaviour and he should as a matter of principle have dumped me for this; this was absolutely not the way to confront this issue; I have apologised many times but he tells me not to be gay about it

The chips sound great but it is pretty gay to ask for a dick in you.

First time sex isn't awkward as much as you're paranoid she's going to take one look at your dick and run away. It's a very specific fear to worry your penis will be rejected/not good enough when the rest of you has got that far. There's nothing wrong with you but you still don't want your dick to let the team down.

 

[Carlos Thin]

Sorry to hear that buddy, seems like she was haywire in the first place.
If you couldn't look down how the hell did you guys do foreplay? Did you put it in dry? I would've forced myself onto her, sounds to me she got cold feet and she just needed a little push on your end. But I'm lacking context on her problems so maybe I would've ended up getting arrested or murdered.

She was the type of girl that thrived on drama; like she made the sex as awkward as possible in order to have something to fight about. She was the worst.

 

[3deadniggers]

She was the type of girl that thrived on drama; like she made the sex as awkward as possible in order to have something to fight about. She was the worst.

Should have done anal.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

Self proclaimed lesbians are often liars and unrecovered trauma victims, her parents being one of the main causes of course.
They ruin themselves as a form of cope and to make themselves very undesirable because they have poor self esteem and they view themselves to be undeserving of love. That's why they always cause all sorts of fucking misery and problem, they subconsciously sabotage.

You unintentionally dodged a bullet. I hope you didn't develop desire after fucking her, Leave her be. The only thing people like her are good for is to be a quick pump for anyone that knows how to manipulate mentally ill people. That's just the truth, she's unlikely to recover without any support.

yeah, i checked back in on her sometime after all of that and she went back to looking like a normal girl again (growing out her hair dressing more feminine and such.) she seemed pretty level headed about the whole experience and i think she was sort of past that phase in her life. I deleted my Facebook a while ago so idk what shes up to now, but i like to think shes doing better.