Horrorcow Cecily Kellogg / CecilyK / Uppercase Woman - unrepentant terrible human being liked by no one.

[Um...]

Yeah, they basically live in a slummy, high-crime section of Philly. People on GOMI have posted about drive-by shootings and deaths in the same neighborhood their kid walks the 21 blocks to & from "school" through, alone, because C &C are FIERCE progressive parents raising a FIERCE fearless kid (totally NOT because they're too fucking lazy to get their fat asses out of bed to take the kid to "school.")

 

[RI 360]

Yeah, they basically live in a slummy, high-crime section of Philly. People on GOMI have posted about drive-by shootings and deaths in the same neighborhood their kid walks the 21 blocks to & from "school" through, alone, because C &C are FIERCE progressive parents raising a FIERCE fearless kid (totally NOT because they're too fucking lazy to get their fat asses out of bed to take the kid to "school.")

I walked into the neighborhood by accident once with a visiting friend and was greeted by a local with "I NEVER SEEN SO MANY WHITE PEOPLE HERE AT ONCE" and I fucking laughed. We chatted a minute, but the streets in that area are filled with trash and there's no draw to it in terms of stores and bars. It's dead and filled with a lot of crime.

 

[exceptionalgoogle]

Shit, beyond making sure your kid gets to school and either has lunch or gets a free federal lunch, parents don't need to do ANYTHING at a school. It's free federal day care where they also learn some stuff.

Totally agree, and your comment reminded me that one of the two t-shirts Tori owns is one promoting Federal Donuts. The other is some Target tee with a panda on it. She is usually photographed wearing one or the other, unless they have added another t-shirt to the poor girl's wardrobe.

But please, Charlie is begging you, don't tell them to get jobs. This is what Tori's sorry excuse for a father had to say about that suggestion:

To our dear friends who've been so unbelievably genetous to us through these times: THANK YOU! Your kindness and support have been a life raft. Nothing short of that.

Cecily and I live our lives on the Web. So everyone who reads our blogs knows we're broke and struggling to save our house. They also know that we get to do some fabulous things on somebody else's dime. And I understand that can be hard to reconcile. But that's who we are. That's life for those with a desire to live in the world of social media and not sitting at a desk booking other people's travel reservations or selling ad space in trade journals on commission. Because those places were "jobs" and we held them, and they were miserable. More importantly, WE were miserable.

And I understand that the advice we receive is well meant. But please please also understand that "just get any job" is no more a solution to our problems than is a shotgun against a fleet of alien spaceships.

So yes, it may seem strange that we are gypsy rich and cash poor. But please understand that it is neither because of carelessness nor laziness. It is because we are trying to reach a place where we can feel good about the work that we do. And that no journey worth taking is without some hardship.

What kind of man fucking begs like this online, and rationalizes his lifelong aspiration to be unemployable (his word, his description, no attempt to spin or sugarcoat it) as being something other than sheer laziness? The same one who, when his family was gifted with a luxury getaway including transportation and accommodation--neither of which they could ever have afforded to pay for themselves--bitched about their free villa in a blog post:

- When we arrived, the toilet was broken. Which I learned the hard way (after the fact). Maintenance was swift to respond, but the entire ball cock assembly (yes, that’s what it’s called) needed replacement. I have to wonder, when was this “villa” (yes, they call the separate cottages "villas") last occupied?

- Then, the next day, the Internet connection failed. Again, the hotel responded quickly and sent someone over. He even provided a new router. Problem is, still no Internet service. Here we are, 24 hours later, and still no service. The provider says it is working on the problem from their end. Stay tuned.

- Then I try to use the in-room coffee-maker, and though the little red light goes on, the heating coil remains cold. Ten minutes later, still cold. Am waiting for a replacement unit now.

- There’s no light on the villa stairway, which is rather steep and completely unlit by ambient light. And as a final note, the kitchen light bulb is burned out, and looks like it has been for awhile.

- Updated to add: Now the cable TV doesn't work. Ugh.

- Updated to add: But the 'net is back! Guess you gotta give to get.

So I’m not sure what to make of the whole thing. I’ve never been confronted with impeccable customer service and epic mechanical failure simultaneously. I give the place an A+ for effort and attitude, a B+ for the villa and housekeeping, and an F for equipment maintenance.

Charlie's own father, despite multiple serious health conditions and diseases, worked his ass off to put him through an Ivy League school and provide for Charlie and his mother very handsomely. Charlie ignores his father's health and claims it was having a job that "killed him" lol. I'm sure Mr. O'Hay is rolling in his grave at what a lazy, entitled mooch and bankrupt his son turned out to be.

 

[RI 360]

Totally agree, and your comment reminded me that one of the two t-shirts Tori owns is one promoting Federal Donuts. The other is some Target tee with a panda on it. She is usually photographed wearing one or the other, unless they have added another t-shirt to the poor girl's wardrobe.

But please, Charlie is begging you, don't tell them to get jobs. This is what Tori's sorry excuse for a father had to say about that suggestion:



What kind of man fucking begs like this online, and rationalizes his lifelong aspiration to be unemployable (his word, his description, no attempt to spin or sugarcoat it) as being something other than sheer laziness? The same one who, when his family was gifted with a luxury getaway including transportation and accommodation--neither of which they could ever have afforded to pay for themselves--bitched about their free villa in a blog post:



Charlie's own father, despite multiple serious health conditions and diseases, worked his ass off to put him through an Ivy League school and provide for Charlie and his mother very handsomely. Charlie ignores his father's health and claims it was having a job that "killed him" lol. I'm sure Mr. O'Hay is rolling in his grave at what a lazy, entitled mooch and bankrupt his son turned out to be.

Spoiler: powerlevel

I have a vagina and can fix all of these things

 

[Gerion]

Cecily reminds me a lot of Hillary Clinton.

A bit of a stretch, isn't it? Hillary Clinton is probably still capable of wiping, whatever you make of her policies.

Their place reminds me of working security in Vancouver slums, where you'd see cockroaches the size of a man's pinky finger and smell crack and crystal meth daily. I'm not sure how it works in Pennsylvania, but as others have said, with the amount of loathing these two pigs have managed to draw from the internet at large, how have Child Protective Services/DCFS not yet managed to get involved? Tori is absolutely a candidate for foster care; C&C are one rough week e-begging away from homelessness and seem to be actively going out of their way to create an unhealthy, unsafe environment for themselves and their kid. You'd think some neighbourhood busybody, internet white knight, or concerned second cousin would have phoned in to the tip line by now.

 

[Argonian Scum]

As long as Tori has clothes, food, no visible marks and a place to sleep there's nothing that CPS can do.

Someone needs to add that to the OP. Yes, it's frustrating and sick, but the same question gets asked every other page.

 

[JudgingYou]

What kind of man fucking begs like this online, and rationalizes his lifelong aspiration to be unemployable (his word, his description, no attempt to spin or sugarcoat it) as being something other than sheer laziness?

I would be so embarrassed. I'd be mortified if friends or family had to carry us, and there's no way I'd tell anyone online.And then to say, "thanks for your handout,y'all, but we don't need your lectures and we're still not finding jobs?" Shit, if my neighbors had to give me food money, I'd find any job just to make sure my family was fed and had a roof.

This is what I don't understand about these too lazy sloths. They're happy to live in squalor, have nothing, and let everyone else pay their way as long as they don't have to get off their lazy asses. There's no embarrassment or self-awareness. Yet they have the stones to be sanctimonious about it.

And please don't get me started about the pissing and bitching about having no Internet when on vacation at a gifted villa. This man doesn't have the ability to relax and enjoy anything if his ass isn't fused to his couch at home. Everything is beneath him, even when he doesn't have to pay for it. Can you imagine being on the receiving end of all of Charlie's calls to the front desk?

They're just lovely, aren't they?

 

[randomfarmer]

You can see the confusion in her eyes at being told this is a speakers table, not a buffet.

 

[MrLooks]

Great weight loss progress, she transformed from Snorlax to walrus.

But she is probably a damaged individual with extreme trauma in her past, as so many bitter and nasty people are.

 

[The Dude]

Wait, Blogsnark was getting uppity about KF? I have seen comments there doxing people multiple times. Most recently, photos of Cecily's home were posted on the Blogsnark subreddit. (Cecily routinely doxes herself with check-ins and public social media posts about the AME church across the street from her house and other details, including the route Tori walks to "school" all alone, when she goes.) They're not there anymore, but you can see that the gentrified paradise Cecily describes is not quite reality--and the "park" she says Tori loves to play in next to her house is actually a vacant lot full of garbage. What a treat for her little girl.

Spoiler: Second scariest home after 25 Cromwell Street

Holy shit, are you fucking kidding me with this shit? How can ANY parent allow their children to live in such a dangerous area? And not only that, but walk to and from school ALONE in such a festering shit hole? I've got one boy with a second due in March, and I can tell you that I would NEVER allow my children to grow up in a fucking cess pool like that. I would work three full-time jobs and sell everything I own to keep my family out of such a toilet of society. I would do criminal things to keep them away from such a place. My family is my priority.

But of course lazy and jobless Cecily and Charlie are too busy fucking around on the internet, sleeping in until afternoon, planting their fat asses in front of the TV, and eating expensive delivery food. Oh, and Charlie goes out to perv on young women and take up-skirt photos of them. Can you imagine the mental gymnastics and cognitive dissonance they put themselves through to not look around that filthy, crumbling, toxic ghetto they live in and not freak out about how they're allowing their daughter to grow up in such an environment? It's only a matter of time before some sexual predator pulls Tori off the street on her way to school, keeps her in his van for a few days to use her to fulfill all his sick desires, slots her throat or strangles her, and then dumps her abused corpse in a vacant lot or abandoned warehouse a few blocks away. What do you think Cecily will say then? Do you think she'll rationalize the rape and death of her daughter the way she rationalized the loss of her twin boys when she kept stuffing her bloated face with slatted, fatty foods instead of following her doctors instructions? Probably.

 

[Gerion]

Can you imagine the mental gymnastics and cognitive dissonance they put themselves through to not look around that filthy, crumbling, toxic ghetto they live in and not freak out about how they're allowing their daughter to grow up in such an environment?

Do you think they think it's romantic? Charlie seems to fancy himself some sort of Tom Waits/Jack Kerouac figure and is fascinated with squalor, misery, poverty, sickness, and everything else that comes with the lifestyle he's living. Cecily, meanwhile, either thinks she's got everyone fooled, or that her vileness is normal and part and parcel of parenting. I don't need to tell Kiwis that you can't be "liberal elite" or any other kind of elite without means, but they missed that important caveat. Honestly, the mind boggles.

 

[glass_houses]

Do you think they think it's romantic? Charlie seems to fancy himself some sort of Tom Waits/Jack Kerouac figure and is fascinated with squalor, misery, poverty, sickness, and everything else that comes with the lifestyle he's living. Cecily, meanwhile, either thinks she's got everyone fooled, or that her vileness is normal and part and parcel of parenting. I don't need to tell Kiwis that you can't be "liberal elite" or any other kind of elite without means, but they missed that important caveat. Honestly, the mind boggles.

They come off as thinking themselves like rather like Henry Miller and Anais Nin. Miller was likewise fascinated with the grimy, impoverished parts of life and was a parasite of epic proportions. And Nin lied incessantly and was obsessed with creating her persona, mostly by sucking the life blood out of everyone around her. The major difference being that both Miller and Nin managed to put their money where their respective mouths were, and produce a substantial body of work. The value of this body is often debatable, but it's there. Charlie wants to be seen in as this urban poet, a talented subversive photographer, but he's missing one vital detail. Miller was a notorious parasite and desperate to avoid any form of useful employment, but when he wasn't fornicating or trying to con someone into feeding him and paying his rent, he was blistering his fingers on the typewriter, and travelling wherever there was an experience to be had.

Charlie wants to be famous, but he has this bizarre conviction that all he has to do is wander about taking happy snaps, of which more than a few are blatant rip-offs of genuinely famous and talented photographers, and vomiting poetical diarrhea that even a fucking tween would cringe at.

 

[UncleTusky]

I did some digging, and it turns out there's a whole network of glorified daycares like the one Tori attends; here's a link to the community watch thread. They're not all dumb enough to brag about how they're cheating kids out of an education, but these "free" schools are all just as disorganized and creepy as PFS.

 

[DuckSucker]

Spoiler: powerlevel

I have a vagina and can fix all of these things

Failing that, you can always, you know, learn something new and just look up how to fix it on Google. It's the fucking information age, information has never been more readily accessible, easy to find, and verifiable. My dad never really taught me much but fuck, I still go on youtube and look up videos that other people's dads have put up, showing you how to build stuff or fix stuff.

You'd think some neighbourhood busybody, internet white knight, or concerned second cousin would have phoned in to the tip line by now.

I dont think slums have neighborhood busybodies... "George! George! I was down at the market and saw the Wellington's boy slingin rocks!"

But I'm infinitely fascinated by how, with as much of herself and her poor parenting she exposes, how she hasn't gotten ANY flak for it. They've been doing this for years. She has a blog post where she excuses herself for throwing a brush at her kid and breaking something, because "Woopsie I had a little temper tantrum! But all adults do that, I only did it because I love you(?)".

Spoiler: powerlevel

My parents were not great, my dad followed that same school of parenting (blow a fuse and get angry all the time, but then let your kid do whatever and dont pay attention the rest of the time), and my mom ignored me a lot of the time if I was "getting on her nerves", so I guess that's why I can relate to this.

But my parents were still leagues better than Tori's. At least my mom and dad attempted to sit me down and help with homework when I asked. I dont think Tori even HAS homework. They pretended to care if I got in trouble at school, and would take me to doctor's appointments; do stuff kids take for granted. Do you think Tori goes to the doctor? Neither of them really have a legitimate job so how do they have health insurance? I'm on Obamacare and a visit to a doctor is still like 100 bucks.

 

[DumbDosh]

"Are we supposed to believe that these TV characters would abandon their children to go live on an island?" Cicily asks, immediately after bitching about her child needing a hug.

Pretty disgusted with her whining about she didn't wanna do bake sales/field trips/homeroom duty for her kid's public school like all the moms were supposed to. Gosh, you'd think that having a kid meant you'd have to make sacrifices or do things you didn't really want to sometimes!

The other worst part of her bitching about how LOST characters abandoned their kids is that they totally didn't, one went back because someone told her that her husband was still alive so she went to go bring him back and the other was an adoptive parent who went back to find and bring back the actual mother and left the kid with its biological grandmother while she went to do that. So it's just her failing to understand why someone would want to leave their toddler with someone else temporarily while they go find it's family so it can have a better life.

This is an ACTUAL case of child abuse, what the fuck!? I dont even care about kids, I dont like them or want them, but somebody please save this kid. She's old enough to be in middle school. Algebra? Nah, today we're studying mermaids. You'll graduate this school and your ideas of a promising lifelong career if you were the most studious, top of your class student, would be a cashier at a gas station. I can count your change and regale you with tales of my apothecary where we make potions to turn you into a mermaid (but that one doesnt work so well)!

How have other crunchy mommy bloggers not called this out? It's insane.

Seriously if nobody steps in the best we can hope for is that she eventually becomes literate enough to write a spiritual successor to Jaycee Dugard's book

Charlie's own father, despite multiple serious health conditions and diseases, worked his ass off to put him through an Ivy League school and provide for Charlie and his mother very handsomely. Charlie ignores his father's health and claims it was having a job that "killed him" lol. I'm sure Mr. O'Hay is rolling in his grave at what a lazy, entitled mooch and bankrupt his son turned out to be.

Did Charlie actually graduate from that Ivy League school? I don't see how anyone could be able to put forward the effort to pass through an Ivy League School if they think all work is bullshit.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

The other worst part of her bitching about how LOST characters abandoned their kids is that they totally didn't, one went back because someone told her that her husband was still alive so she went to go bring him back and the other was an adoptive parent who went back to find and bring back the actual mother and left the kid with its biological grandmother while she went to do that. So it's just her failing to understand why someone would want to leave their toddler with someone else temporarily while they go find it's family so it can have a better life.



Seriously if nobody steps in the best we can hope for is that she eventually becomes literate enough to write a spiritual successor to Jaycee Dugard's book

Did Charlie actually graduate from that Ivy League school? I don't see how anyone could be able to put forward the effort to pass through an Ivy League School if they think all work is bullshit.

Money. Back then academic plagiarism wasn't taken as seriously as it was now and he could probably have paid someone else to do all his essays and generate cribsheets for his exams.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

Made an Unschooling thread: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/unschooling.25550/

 

[JudgingYou]

Did Charlie actually graduate from that Ivy League school? I don't see how anyone could be able to put forward the effort to pass through an Ivy League School if they think all work is bullshit.

Yes he did and he does nothing with his Ivy League education. He whines about how his dad worked in a death cubicle until he died and refuses to go that route even though it would better honor his memory if he put that degree to good use. He claims his arm is numb and he's so disabled he can't work but his arm isn't disabled enough to type or take nasty upskirts so I call bullshit on that garbage.

One thing I always wondered is if Charlie was more productive during his first marriage and his inherent laziness came out after he hooked up with Cecily, or if he was always a moldy couchdouche who can't be assed to find a good job.

Completely unrelated but I stalked PFS Facebook a bit and I want to tell all the haters they're wrong when they say Tori won't learn a useful skill. She'll "graduate" with a G.E.D. and the kinds of quality skills one doesn't get in traditional school.

If Voldemort attacks, they'll be ready:

I hear their Foosball team is one of the best in the district conference.

And of course there's the ever important manicure 101 class

And this speculation-worthy activity.

You don't have to feel sorry for Tori. She's getting a high quality education.


ETA: Didn't see the unschooling thread update when I posted this.

 

[Bustcakes]

I work in the GED program, and I'm sorry to say that I'd be very surprised if Tori managed to earn hers. http://www.gedtestingservice.com/educators/freepracticetest

That's the quarter-length, unofficial practice test. Sadly for Tori, there's nothing in the Science portion relating to potions.

 

[JudgingYou]

I work in the GED program, and I'm sorry to say that I'd be very surprised if Tori managed to earn hers. http://www.gedtestingservice.com/educators/freepracticetest

That's the quarter-length, unofficial practice test. Sadly for Tori, there's nothing in the Science portion relating to potions.

Her PFS education also made her quite the expert on mermaids and Nefertiti. Anything in the GED program for those important skills?