Don’t end up with someone you have to mother
This advice is not given out enough, and it is the crucial part of finding a life partner, whatever gender and sexuality you are shopping for. No romantic or sexual love will ever survive allowing your partner to rely on you for personal caretaking that they could readily perform for themselves.
You will, with the best will in the world, treat a man like a child if he is allowed to treat you like a mother. This is why "but just give me a list or chores and tell me what to dooo" is so toxic to a relationship. You give direction to a child. An adult is capable of self direction. If you wanted to have one additional child in the house, you'd have one.
It is very easy for a SAHM to slip into the way of caretaking a moid. It is very nice for the moid to live, like a child, in a home where all their needs are anticipated and met. Children do not get to make any decisions, talk out of turn, override their mother's wishes, control any of their money, set their own bedtime, or have sex, either. So unless moid is prepared to live under the same rules as the kids, the same standard of caretaking is not on the table for him. He is an adult. He needs to fulfil that role. It is poisonous for children to grow up with a useless man-child in their home instead of an actual father.
"B-but you have to meet each other's neeeeeds" There is a world of difference between a cooperative partnership and codependency. Know that difference and learn to spot that pattern early.
"B-but women just have to be niiiiiice and supporrrtive and loooooyal" Remember when moids say this, what they actually mean by 'nice' is to never display disappointment, unhappiness, hurt, or anger in response to their poor behaviour. They mean, never set standards for them, or hold them to those standards. They want to be fawned on.
What they actually mean by 'supportive' is to be completely uncritical of everything they do and say, even in private, and to go along with their poor life planning.
As for 'loyal', that depends on their level of paranoid imaginings, dependent on their crippled self-esteem, about your imaginary infidelity. Of course they can't believe you are sexually faithful to them, because they wouldn't fuck them either. Also their concept of 'loyalty' is the same they would expect from a fictional dog: defend them from all comers (yes, that will include your family, law enforcement, and Oh No Consequences), and when necessary, follow them into homelessness and take a bullet for them.
This sounds like a terrible deal, because it is. They want something on a spectrum from a golem with fleshlight capability, to a co-dependent. Their personal level of hatefulness determines where they fall on the spectrum.
Moids hate their potential romantic partners because they hate themselves. They understand how shit they are, and they don't understand how anyone could want to give them love, attention or acceptance. They are fucking broken. Every moid is broken and cannot be repaired. Do not try. They only punish those who do and drive them away. And then go back to screaming about how terrible women are.
When a moid tells you who and what he is, believe him. You cannot fix him. He is not a project. He is a black hole that will only devour your self-esteem, your potential, your emotional energy, your prospects.
"not all men!" No, not all men. But enough men, and more than enough who are out actively Love Questing, for the warning to be necessary. You date a man. You don't ever date a moid.