Bossman Austin Curtis Peterson / BossmanJack / AustinGambles / Austin_07 / irondollah - Gambling addict, convicted felon, scammer, and raging manchild that hates his fucking life, FAKE MONEY

BossmanJack live chat for stream commentary.

Duration of Rehab Saga Mk. IV

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  • < 3 WK

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  • < 6WK

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  • Completed Successfully

    Votes: 532 35.4%
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No matter how often we get a legendary run of Bossman content, we somehow always wind up squandering it all talking about rehab, taxes, and whether it's retarded to give a casino your money. I swear to god, not one of you lifts a finger to provide some great bossman content. I have NOTHING. Not a single new clip of bossman punching a whole in the wall or openly weeping while nigger music plays in the background. It's SAD, dood. I'm gonna give up posting. I can't go on like this, I swear to God. I'm going to fuck a guy
 
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Drax Rax said:
As much as I'd love to see this, poker is far too slow for the Bossman.

If anything, he'd do hyper turbo sit and go's with a bluff rate approaching most skilled players' fold rate. He would be the ultimate donk.
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I agree. There are too many stages in playing poker before you get paid out, as opposed to slots or coin-flipping.

I also can't see him ever throwing his hand in (US: folding). "Yeah, but just say all those motherfuckers have worse shit - I mean 10 is quite a good card, that's what matters?"
Everyone shows cards: "How the fuck you even get that 'full house' shit I swear that guy is cheating! Fuck my luck!"
(High card 10 vs. full house in 5-card draw. I'm sure there are similar scenarios for US poker variations like Texas Hold 'em and Omaha)

By the way, how does the house get its take in US poker games? Fixed fee per hand or percentage of bet amount?

@Kulee Baba wrote:
If Gambling on Sports or long winded games like Poker is like "Cocaine" then slot machines and especially the instant games Bossman plays is "Crack."
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If the sports betting sites used in the United States are the same ones that operate in Kenya(DraftKings is one which seems to be OG US, the other big one there is something like BullBet, not sure.), I can tell you that they're trying hard to "freebase" their product (staying with the cocaine allegory here) by adding instant gratification shit like bets on corners and free kicks as they happen, as well as big "Will he score? Yes/No" banners whenever someone goes for the goal. They're trying to get users to keep using the site while watching the game.

Whenever you hear a guy from Kenya talk about "the virtual", this shit is what he's on about.
 
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Drax Rax said:
As much as I'd love to see this, poker is far too slow for the Bossman.

If anything, he'd do hyper turbo sit and go's with a bluff rate approaching most skilled players' fold rate. He would be the ultimate donk.
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Kankichi Ryotsu said:
Nah this won't happen ever. Poker requires skill and takes longer than 5 seconds to finish it. He prefers the easy clicking that brainless random games offer like coinflip, it stimulates his monkey brain much more.
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Kulee Baba said:
Too much downtime when Bossman just wants quick wins.

If Gambling on Sports or long winded games like Poker is like "Cocaine" then slot machines and especially the instant games Bossman plays is "Crack."
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I know which is why I started the post with "All I want for Christmas is....".

Perhaps when Brokeman mellows out in his late 30s but is still capable of incredible tard rage from time to time...
 
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Ogre Magi said:
Highly optimistic to think he's going to last until his late 30s.
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I do not think so, losing is inevitable, so is Austin’s crippling gamba addiction. He knows he is harming his own mentality, refusing to change himself for the better and has self-awareness about it, but he is so down bad for the gamba sesh rabbit hole that it is a low chance, but would be a massive overhaul for him if he slowly mellow away from gambling addiction and actually change himself. :optimistic:

But for now, we have this Austin, and we would see him doing this to himself and tard raging spectacularly for every loses it all moments. :lossmanjack:
 
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JT Marlin said:
I know which is why I started the post with "All I want for Christmas is....".

Perhaps when Brokeman mellows out in his late 30s but is still capable of incredible tard rage from time to time...
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No, he will not.

Bossman is used to high volatility. We've seen it so many times now $500 turning into $10,000. Sports is too slow for him, he rarely plays the webcam Blackjack/Roulette because it's so slow for him.

To a gambling addict that wants instant results he'd be bored shitless by sports.
 
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Kulee Baba said:
No, he will not.

Bossman is used to high volatility. We've seen it so many times now $500 turning into $1000. Sports is too slow for him, he rarely plays the webcam Blackjack/Roulette because it's so slow for him.

To a gambling addict that wants instant results he'd be bored shitless by sports.
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That’s why sports betting has parlays and live betting so you can get real degenerate betting on stuff like individual plays or whether a guy will get a hit in baseball. They know their audience. In my opinion running a website that takes money from addicts isn’t much better than selling hard drugs. But god is it funny.
 
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Stan said:
I appreciate the gamba risk advisory pinned to the top of the thread. Wholesome Kiwi mods reminding us that gambling by definition has a negative expected outcome (ie you lose money.)
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Journalist RAT trying to psychologically manipulate kiwis out of big wins in the casino.
Yet one more un-provoked broadside from the lap top class against the common man.
I am not surprised but I am disappointed.
 
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Whiskey said:
Depends usually on the amount being played for there isn't one fixed answer. The most common form is a rake a certain percentage of each hand. Higher stakes tend to have fixed fees.
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As they say "the rake always wins." No matter who wins or loses the house gets their cut, which is why it's one of the only games where they don't care if someone consistently turns a profit on it.
 
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Bros for the love of all that is holy, please stop talking about Poker. Austin will NEVER EVER play Poker, you might as well be talking about Pottery, or Rigby or underwater welding, cause those are also things that Austin will never do. If you started talking about how Austin would be a very shitty Jai Alai player, people would rightly point out you're derailing the thread with off-topic nonsense, treat Poker the same way.

Did you know that Austin smashes stuff and it's really funny? Let's talk about that. He also doesn't stream sometimes, and the thread will be 100% alright if you don't fill in the dead air talking about gambling probabilities or 50% coin flip probability or Poker... there are books on the matter a million times more informative than anything that could be written in this thread.
 
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The only way Bossman will ever play poker is if they invent a new variant where you can gamble on how close the flop is to 21 and then gamble with the turn and river cards being higher or lower than the last card before them for a 5x and a 10x. Also it's CPU only and everything takes 0.1 seconds to resolve.
 
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Burl McMillan said:
The only way Bossman will ever play poker is if they invent a new variant where you can gamble on how close the flop is to 21 and then gamble with the turn and river cards being higher or lower than the last card before them for a 5x and a 10x. Also it's CPU only and everything takes 0.1 seconds to resolve.
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It seems like he's even impatient with how slow slot machines are. Coin flip is really the ultimate crackhead gamba for him. No bells, whistles, graphics, just lose money by the thousands instantly.
 
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