**Title: "Maximum Damage Control"**
**INTRO:**
*The stage is set with a podcast studio backdrop. Anisa Jomha (AJ) and Ian "Idubbbz" Jomha (IJ) sit behind microphones, blissfully unaware of the chaos about to unfold.*
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**Scene 1: The Innocent Start**
**AJ:** *(leaning into the mic)* "Welcome to the 'Maximum Damage' podcast! I'm Anisa, and this is my husband, Ian."
**IJ:** *(grinning)* "Hey, folks! Today, we're gonna talk about our favorite conspiracy theories. Like, did you know that pineapples are actually alien surveillance devices?"
**AJ:** *(laughs)* "Ian, you're such a goofball!"
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**Scene 2: The Unintentional Roast**
**IJ:** *(checking his notes)* "Next topic: self-deprecating humor. You know, Anisa, I've been told I'm the king of self-deprecation."
**AJ:** *(innocently)* "Oh, absolutely! Ian, remember that time you tried to cook dinner? The smoke alarm went off, and you said, 'Guess my cooking skills are fire!'"
**IJ:** *(proudly)* "Yeah, I nailed that one!"
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**Scene 3: The Unexpected Guest**
*(Suddenly, the studio door swings open. A disheveled Shaw internet service provider worker, Roberts, barges in.)*
**Roberts:** "Sorry to interrupt, but I'm here to fix your ethernet socket."
**AJ:** *(startled)* "Wait, you're the racist Shaw guy!"
**Roberts:** *(defensively)* "Whoa, whoa! Not racist. Just curious about your OnlyFans religion."
**IJ:** *(confused)* "OnlyFans religion?"
**Roberts:** "Yeah, Anisa showed me her OnlyFans content. We had a connection!"
**AJ:** *(whispers to IJ)* "Ian, he thinks OnlyFans is a religion!"
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**Scene 4: The Awkward Flirting**
**IJ:** *(trying to steer the conversation)* "So, Roberts, what's your favorite conspiracy theory?"
**Roberts:** "Definitely that the moon landing was faked. But enough about that—Anisa, your OnlyFans pics are out of this world!"
**AJ:** *(blushing)* "Um, thanks?"
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**Scene 5: The Grand Finale**
**IJ:** *(desperate)* "Roberts, can you fix the socket quickly?"
**Roberts:** "Sure, but first, Anisa, tell me: Does OnlyFans have a holy text?"
**AJ:** *(laughs nervously)* "Uh, no, Roberts. It's not a religion."
**Roberts:** "Well, it's my new faith. And Ian, your cooking skills? Divine!"
*(Roberts exits, leaving AJ and IJ bewildered.)*
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**OUTRO:**
*AJ and IJ stare at each other, realizing they've unintentionally roasted themselves. The podcast ends with awkward laughter.*
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**Note:** *This sketch is purely fictional and meant for comedic purposes. No actual Shaw workers were harmed in the making of this sketch.*
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*(Cue SNL-style jazzy outro music)*

*Sources:*
1. [Alleged "Racist Shaw Guy" Responds to Anisa Jomha's Accusations](https://poptopic.com.au/rumour/alleged-racist-shaw-guy-responds-to-anisa-jomhas-accusations/)
2. [Idubbbz Defends His Girlfriend's OnlyFans Account In New Video - TheGamer](https://www.thegamer.com/idubbbz-video-defends-girlfriend/)
3. [The Untold Truth About iDubbbz’s Girlfriend Anisa Jomha](https://thebiography.org/the-untold-truth-about-idubbbzs-girlfriend-anisa-jomha/)
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