Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Si vis pacem para bellum]

While we are all starved on Nick Content, I have been working on revising and re-organising the OP.

It's a very impressive OP, well done!

 

[AnOminous]

This may be the most hilarious thing Nick ever did.

Maybe we should dig up previous smugnicks from the past because they're all hilarious in retrospect.

Also some links to @Sharpeteer Nick and Nick-related jaks.
https://kiwifarms.st/threads/nicholas-robert-rekieta-rekieta-law-nickrekieta.53871/post-17834963 (nickjaks)
https://kiwifarms.st/threads/nicholas-robert-rekieta-rekieta-law-nickrekieta.53871/post-18475846 (more nickjaks)
https://kiwifarms.st/threads/balldoverse-meme-edit-general.192233/post-18475743 (more nickjaks)
https://kiwifarms.st/threads/nicholas-robert-rekieta-rekieta-law-nickrekieta.53871/post-18680971 (Balldosphere personalities)

 

[Hard Toothbrush]

Big favor to ask. Fanfic writers sharing their fantasies of teenage pregnancies and child abuse, go whole hog and please start your next fic with:

"A talent agent is sitting in his office..."

 

[Procrastinhater]

But just as modern medicine can fashion a fake cock from a forearm

They really can't though. Have you seen the SRS thread?
Those things are fucking abominations and half the time they rot off. The other half they cause horrific kidney infections.

 

[RotPockets]

They really can't though. Have you seen the SRS thread?
Those things are fucking abominations and half the time they rot off. The other half they cause horrific kidney infections.

You’re thinking of our sister company @RotDogs.
We make quality products here.

Spoiler: NSFL: 2024 Product Lineup

 

[Procrastinhater]

The twist ending is it was the dogs coke all along. He's the manipulative mastermind making Nick Bark on command. The Dog, the Dog is evil. The Demon is really in the Dog!!!!

He should totally go with that in court.
It worked great for the Son of Sam.

 

[anonymong]

No, this was 'Mindy' or some other name that starts with an 'M'. I know because she was mocked here based on my chat logger highlights, and the LOCALS spergs took umbridge with it.

icancook is a loud, fat, black female with a YouTube channel where she cooks abortions of meals and breathes heavily into the microphone.


Side Note: Is there any archive of The Dick Show Bonus Episode where Nick first called in? This one specifically. I REALLY do not want to pay for it, but the historical value to the expanded lore posts to the OP is fairly high.

I will cross-post into the main Dax thread as well.

https://vimeo.com/243437511/523d45cff8 (Nick joins at about 53:00)

 

[Smithy129]

Is it even possible to go lower than ralph on this?
Will Nick smash through all of Ralph's records before he stops?

I'd say hes surpassed ralph lmfao

 

[Sharpeteer]

New vid for you.

Nicholas Rekieta v The Raccoons
Oldboy Hallway Fight Scene

The idea was given to me by user @ChromaQuack. This was quite a challenge, but was fun to do!

 

[AltisticRight]

New vid for you.

Nicholas Rekieta v The Raccoons
Oldboy Hallway Fight Scene

View attachment 6125914

The idea was given to me by user @ChromaQuack. This was quite a challenge, but was fun to do!

Looks like Coony got his revenge.
And the two poor skunks.

 

[Polyarmory]

Big favor to ask. Fanfic writers sharing their fantasies of teenage pregnancies and child abuse, go whole hog and please start your next fic with:

"A talent agent is sitting in his office..."

A talent agent is sitting in her office... Ricky tries to come in, but when he notices the door is locked, he just slides a packet underneath. When the agent is finished with her meeting, she takes a look at the packet, and her eyes are assaulted by an obviously photoshopped image of two manchildren standing back to back in plumber outfits. She couldn't help laughing, and thinking this unprofessional manuscript is just a very bold joke, she decides to invite its authors to a videoconference.

On the other end of the call, she notices that the fat one has lewd anime figurines in the background, and the other manchild (one "Dax Herrera") plays it off as a joke. She's starting to realize that the manuscript was sincere. To her disgust and horror, the fat one almost immediately brings up children in a sexual capacity, but when she objects to this, they can't even hear her because call has already devolved into a retarded shouting match between the two manchildren. When she leaves the call, they continue arguing for several minutes before noticing.

She takes a moment to collect herself after this bizarre spectacle, and leaves her office to get a coffee. Just outside the door is Ricky, who finally releases the laughter he'd been containing the whole time. "I can't believe you actually interviewed those dopes! I just showed it to you 'cause I got some real 'yuks out of it!" She sighs in somewhat performative exasperation, and they walk down the hall together "Hey Shiela, are you going to my nephew's bar mitzva this weekend?"

(Reference (raw))

 

[Swole McPole]

Nicholas Rekieta v The Raccoons
Oldboy Hallway Fight Scene

Now I want to see him eating a live octopus.

 

[Chirping Smoke Detector]

His old audience was always sceptical of government, but they gave Nick the benefit of the doubt and the loss of that is something he has never been able to come to terms with.

That's the thing. All of the goodwill that Nick accumulated he burned in record time. We all watched him get drunker and drunker for 2 years. We saw him acting like he was on drugs and none of us needed to be drug cops to see it. Had he been the same Nick he had been and this happened he would've been given some benefit of the doubt. You would've had a few people that turned on Nick but a lot would be unwilling to because it was so out of character for him. After the past 2 years we all believe it because he's shown that's his character.

I would love it if Nick got off scot-free. I guarantee he’d pull a Ralph and go even more off the fucking rails while high on dopamine and his own bullshit.

Even if Nick got the warrant tossed he's still not getting those kids back. And I doubt he ever would at this point since he's probably so unwilling to jump through all the hoops CPS will require.

 

[Beavis]

Even if Nick got the warrant tossed he's still not getting those kids back. And I doubt he ever would at this point since he's probably so unwilling to jump through all the hoops CPS will require.

Nick doesn’t want his kids back. He hates being a dad.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Big favor to ask. Fanfic writers sharing their fantasies of teenage pregnancies and child abuse, go whole hog and please start your next fic with:

"A talent agent is sitting in his office..."

"What do you call this act?"

"The Rekietas!" [jazz hands as Kayla blacks out and splits her head open on a coffee table]

 

[TheButcherknight]

That's the thing. All of the goodwill that Nick accumulated he burned in record time. We all watched him get drunker and drunker for 2 years. We saw him acting like he was on drugs and none of us needed to be drug cops to see it. Had he been the same Nick he had been and this happened he would've been given some benefit of the doubt. You would've had a few people that turned on Nick but a lot would be unwilling to because it was so out of character for him. After the past 2 years we all believe it because he's shown that's his character.

Even if Nick got the warrant tossed he's still not getting those kids back. And I doubt he ever would at this point since he's probably so unwilling to jump through all the hoops CPS will require.

Fully agree. He had what 2 failed restarts where he promised he'd slow down the drinking and get back to doing his show then failed within a week. With people reaching out to him and he'd just gaslight them. Killed any goodwill in troon speed running time.
Guess when all the old lawyers stopped showing up and he stopped doing his OG super lawyer drinking panels should have been a red flag.

 

[Klugii]

Oh my god....

That would be worse then the 9 year old......

April being pregnant with Nick's child (her ex husband getting fixed means he is not the father) and her doing all of this Cocaine and drinking alcohol would be a disaster

The only thing worse then a 9 year old having cocaine in her system would be a tiny little infant having cocaine in their system, fucking addicted to it. That's horrific.

That is way more plausable (imo) then the diddling. April is 29, still very fertile. 20-35 are the most fertile years of a woman's life. Hundreds of thousands of 29 year olds fall pregnant each and every day. It would also explain why she is still fucking with them.

She's a broke, divorced baby mama with no money and Nick was raised Catholic so it is unlikely he would be okay with aborting his baby (not to mention his parents who are practicing Catholics)

Didn't Aaron reveal on his Casino appearance that April had taken a Plan B pill after a balldo session? If so, it's more unlikely she's pregnant. I'm surprised this abortion in the "Christian" household did not get more attention.

Alternative theory: Since we all now know that men can become pregnant - and everyone agrees on this fact - is it possible that Nick is pregnant with Aaron's balldo baby? If so, I think that might be not very good, though it could be considered stunning and brave.

 

[SusanHassle]

EDIT:
Now he's talking about how much he appreciates people taking time out of their day to pray for him. Even though he's said before that prayer doesn't do anything because why tf would God care about your pissant little life you retard.

EDIT2:
And now he's literally reading out of his Bible on stream. HE CAN'T GET THROUGH A VERSE WITHOUT STOPPING TO TELL A JOKE.

(I don't see an archive of the stream, sadly.)

It wasn't widely clipped but I recently found it. This is a new clipper who makes some efforts to transform. She sometimes adds commentary. Her efforts in this clip of Nick doing bible study are hilarious.

Edit: I'd genuinely love to hear Ashton's commentary on this. My knowledge of the Old Testament is limited.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

but this was a legitimate on-topic post from me, and an attempt to get the thread back on topic. It concerns one of Nick's Ball(do) washers, Joe Logic:

Very well. I copied it over to this thread too.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/nicholas-robert-rekieta-rekieta-law-nickrekieta.53871/post-18686083

 

[datura_binge]

A

Fully agree. He had what 2 failed restarts where he promised he'd slow down the drinking and get back to doing his show then failed within a week. With people reaching out to him and he'd just gaslight them. Killed any goodwill in troon speed running time.
Guess when all the old lawyers stopped showing up and he stopped doing his OG super lawyer drinking panels should have been a red flag.

It's actually astounding. I have never stopped enjoying someones content that quickly. During Rittenhouse and Depp I had the guy on in the background pretty much daily and enjoyed the majority of it. I have no clue why he didn't just find another case or something to do. It's like he happened upon the perfect storm of: overdrinking, not doing the content he was doing, only making quasi aggressive drama content, and focusing that content on stuff in the Nick Rekieta-verse (that being himself and the specific things he was doing and his own cohort of cronies). I really enjoyed the days when he came across like the family man with an edge who didn't mind mingling with Ralph and Dick, but then he decided he wanted to be Ralph and Dick, which is also astounding.