Plagued Pizzagate / Pedogate - Batshit Conspiracy Nuts Who See Pedos Everywhere

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O

Otrium

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 7, 2016
I don't have much to say about Pizzagate. As far as conspiracy loons go, these jokers are beyond the rabbit hole. It's a collection of /pol/tards, KiAers, Conspiracy nuts and Trumpets who believe there is a mystical paedo cult using code in Clinton's email leaks, in the same vein as the 80's Satanic Panic.

https://www.reddit.com/r/pizzagate/ (Subreddit banned)
https://voat.co/v/PizzaGate

Every post is insane. The volume of red arrow images, the insane trail, It's all amazing. If you loved Reddits investigation into the Boston Bomber and that one kindergarden with iron bars, the this'll be a real treat. If you were horrified, you'll be as well.

https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/5bosmf/anon_reveals_owner_of_uptown_pizza_to_be_andrew/

https://twitter.com/EvilHillaryPics/status/795543314543972352

https://dcpizzagate.wordpress.com/2016/11/07/first-blog-post/

Do note that this thread periodically has spergs who "aren't really sure about it" but proceed to post five essays of links to shit like brietbart or sli.mg.
 
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I do think these guys are lulz worthy, but holy shit that's a shitty OP.

Anyhow the weirdest part for me is how they think that the Podesta brothers personally kidnapped Madeleine McCann. It'd be like if Nixon decided to break into Watergate himself or Reagan personally flew to Tehran to negotiate hostages. There would be middlemen working in a global sex ring, but nope all these easily recognizable politicians and celebrities are personally traveling to abduct and fuck kids.

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Today I bought at Morrisons a 10-inch deep pan double pepperoni pizza. This is CLEARLY in and of itself proof that these people are right. Think about it:

- Deep pan. Deep PENETRATION?
- Double pepperoni. Pepperoni is a SAUSAGE, a SPICY SAUSAGE, and there's TWO SAUSAGES.
- Cheese Pizza = CP = CHILD PORN

Therefore, that I bought this pizza is proof that whoever made it is, in fact, part of a ring of murderous paedophiles who want to double-penetrate your children, deeply. WAKE UP SHEEPLE.
 
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To think this all started out as projection by a board full of lolicons that ironically push occultism.
I hope this ends up being turned into a series of self-published novels with a rich mythology. Maybe they can get Theodore Beale to work his Hugo Awards magic on one of them.
Just be sure to name the first novel Pounded in the Pizza by the Podestas.
 
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Someone I know was sperging about this and linked me to some of the "investigation". To me, it looks like how parents now days can't resist posting photos of their children/their relative's children to Facebook or Instagram, and how other family and friends leave really bizarre comments on them. I doubt any of the basement dwellers pushing this conspiracy have friends/relatives on Facebook who have young children.

The photo of the empty walk-in cooler was exceptionally exceptional. Yeah, why would a business owner be happy about cleaning out their walk-in cooler????? Clearly there's something afoot!!!!!
 
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Ginger Piglet said:
Today I bought at Morrisons a 10-inch deep pan double pepperoni pizza. This is CLEARLY in and of itself proof that these people are right. Think about it:

- Deep pan. Deep PENETRATION?
- Double pepperoni. Pepperoni is a SAUSAGE, a SPICY SAUSAGE, and there's TWO SAUSAGES.
- Cheese Pizza = CP = CHILD PORN

Therefore, that I bought this pizza is proof that whoever made it is, in fact, part of a ring of murderous paedophiles who want to double-penetrate your children, deeply. WAKE UP SHEEPLE.
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Bullshit, I know they aren't pedophiles and I can prove it. John Podesta and Tony Podesta are brothers. Fact. John Podesta however, is half the size of Tony. Fact. If you take a deep dish pizza and fold it in half, what do you get? A calzone. Fact. Unlike a pepperoni pizza, which looks like a boob with lesions all over it (ie Lebanese) a calzone looks like a vagina. Fact. When you stick your dick in a calzone and pull it out again what colour is it? Red. Because the calzone is menstruating, which it wouldn't do if it was under-age. Therefore they aren't pedophiles, it's just a normal every day Lebanese sex slavery ring. Fact.
 
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Internet War Criminal said:
Yeah except the owner says 'this looks fun' and #murder while the guy who worked on it (and makes children sized coffin for furniture and pleasure) hash tagged it #killroom

Totes normal stuff your uncle says about his business

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Not gonna mention how the last comment is PROOF that the DNC and John Podesta are covering up WEREWOLVES??? :story:

Someone I went to high school with worked at a place that had large walk-in ovens that he jokingly called "Jew cookers" but, you know, he didn't really mean they cook Jews in them.

Ineedahero said:
Bullshit, I know they aren't pedophiles and I can prove it. John Podesta and Tony Podesta are brothers. Fact. John Podesta however, is half the size of Tony. Fact. If you take a deep dish pizza and fold it in half, what do you get? A calzone. Fact. Unlike a pepperoni pizza, which looks like a boob with lesions all over it (ie Lebanese) a calzone looks like a vagina. Fact. When you stick your dick in a calzone and pull it out again what colour is it? Red. Because the calzone is menstruating, which it wouldn't do if it was under-age. Therefore they aren't pedophiles, it's just a normal every day Lebanese sex slavery ring. Fact.
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Take a pizza and make 4 cuts: two from top to bottom and two from side to side (like a tic-tac-toe board). You are now left with a single square piece in the middle and a total of 16 corners. TIMECUBE is the 4 Time-Points (the middle piece) rotating around earth (the pizza) through the three other Time Points to create 16 Corners. Coincidence? I think not, and Comet Pizza may have been serving pizza this way for YEARS.
 
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