Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Well guys....we finally have the answer as to why fat considers himself a "conservative"
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Honestly dont think any quip I make can add to the hilarity of this so imma let it stand by itself....

so he doesn't know what a Conservative is and admits it. About time. He's a democratic voter, always has been. His political leanings make him Liberal.

 

[Judge Holden]

So he thinks small-town Americans, fat of the land everyday freedom imbibing Americans who enjoy a small business and CONSOOM manly man things are conservatives.

He's got it mixed up because he lives in nigger ghetto neighborhood of a big city, is fat (on the land), doesn't have his own business. He does consoom but not the way he means.

Was in the gym while reading this comment and the phrase "fat of the land" connected in my mind with previous speculation of fat becoming a sovereign citizen should trump win again, and the term "Fatman on the Land" manifesting in my mind caused me to retard laugh in the middle of a protein drank

 

[break these cuffs]

Funny you mention this, Liberia DOES have a recent history of Cannibalism with such figures as Joshua Milton Blahyi , better known as General Butt Naked, publicly admitting to murdering and eating the hearts of little black kids as a part of black magic rituals. As silly as it may seem, Mr. Blahyi's name isn't all that outlandish as many other Liberian commanders during the Liberian Civil War(s) adopted names such as General Osama Bin Laden, General Mosquito and his rival, General Bug Spray. Were Rick to adopt a name in a similar manner, He would be General Fat Faggot With Bitch Tits, General Pepperoni or General Child Grinder.

I've also seen it talked about in documentaries that it happened regularly in Monrovia, the capital during the Second Civil war when it got sieged. The dead bodies from the day's fighting wouldn't be there the next morning and the cemeteries weren't seeing a lot of new customers.

 

[AutoClownMaker]

I've also seen it talked about in documentaries that it happened regularly a bit in Monrovia, the capital during the Second Civil war when it got sieged. The dead bodies from the day's fighting wouldn't be there the next morning and the cemeteries weren't seeing a lot of new customers.

When Patrick's mom said how he should eat and the food would be wanted in Africa because they are starving ol' Pat took that seriously.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

I've also seen it talked about in documentaries that it happened regularly in Monrovia, the capital during the Second Civil war when it got sieged. The dead bodies from the day's fighting wouldn't be there the next morning and the cemeteries weren't seeing a lot of new customers.

There's also the Aghor religion in India. There's been at least one documentary on them and how they're not allowed in any civilization.

 

[Thé au lait]

'Tis only a matter of time before a funster drapes themselves in faux Victorian or Edwardian speech to poke at Patrick. Done well, ribs will be ribbed.

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It took a month, but now we've got a faux-Elizabethian funster!

There's also the Aghor religion in India. There's been at least one documentary on them and how they're not allowed in any civilization.

Was that the one where the CNN faggot tried to abandon his camera crew and interpreter and go back to the boat?

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

It took a month, but now we've got a faux-Elizabethian funster!

Was that the one where the CNN faggot tried to abandon his camera crew and interpreter and go back to the boat?

I don't think so, one I saw was on History Channel.

 

[FinnSven]

but has he ever... laughed? has he ever found joy in anything? if he has, it was a tiny ember of goodness snuffed out by the the many thousands of imperious proclamations to enjoy prison he posts every week.

The sounds of black children crying as they are ground into pepperoni amuses him.

But what really makes him laugh are the tears of their parents when they realize what the kindly gift of sausage is made from.

 

[The Taco Santo!]

His best-performing book is the first one he ever sold. Each successive book sold roughly half of the previous. After Drumpf got elected and he shoehorned politics into everything, his sales dried up to a few hundred per year. His last 3 books haven't earned out, and he gets a royalty check every 6 months for less than $200

No, his books have earned him boundless wealth and made him a topic of conversation literally everywhere books are published and read.

 

[Judge Holden]

No, his boobs have earned him boundless wealth and made him a topic of conversation literally everywhere boobs are fondled and spread.

FTFY(WBT)

 

[reptile baht spaniard rid]

If you're afraid of cringe, why are you in this thread? Watch them!

I will be absolutely honest, listening to his standup attempts on MATI was only doable because Null kept interrupting with "holy shit we know the story behind that" - it may not be alog cringe but it was fucking horrible and hard to listen to. Guy's permanently broken and honestly needs more therapy than exists in all of California.

Protip - get REAL MAD at the MAN OF PIG (fatman on the lard) before you listen to the standup. That might make you through without feeling bad for him.

 

[Drama Trauma]

To a retarded reply Pat gives an even more retarded reply:

 

[Rimanah]

No Stalker Pigmonster. Man cards do exist. And I can take them. Prison. Awaits. Enjoy.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

To a retarded reply Pat gives an even more retarded reply:
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https://officialmancard.com/

 

[Meriasek]

I’ll actually give Rick this one, at least partially. His logic is valid, just not sound. Consider this:
Premise one: Fat Rick is a conservative.
Premise two: Pig Monster and anyone like him are awful people who deserve to die
Conclusion: Conservative are awful people who deserve to die.

Piggy Boys problem is that while premise two is correct, premise one isn’t. But while he may be wrong, he’s at least only partially (in that it’s valid but not sound) instead of completely wrong.

Fatpig thinks he's the correct type of Conservative, the type who wants to conserve what's worthy of the past (i.e. guns and V8s and salting the earth) but is totally open to the good new things that the current year brings (i.e. troons to fap to, and diverse neighborhoods for the pepperoni production).

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

The most recent numbers we have are up until Jan '23

Ok so let's be really generous and say each book sold for $20 and Fatrick kept every single cent, stalker. Rounding down, because there's no way in hell he made that per book and I like easy math, that's $120,000. Not a bad haul. Oh that's over 8 years. I don’t feel so good Pat bros. That's like $15,000 a year and me using unrealistically high numbers. In reality, he was probably making, at most, like 5 grand a year.

The Lizard King has some of the funniest Patposts I've read for a while.
DO NOT WASTE MY TIME WITH EMPTY THREATS OF IMPRISONMENT MAN OF PIG!

I really like this new Pat protestor because I read it in my head in a booming super regal voice.

 

[Procrastinhater]

General Butt Naked,

I think he's Pasta Butt Naked now.

I don't think so, one I saw was on History Channel.

Yeah Reza Aslan from CNN interviewed them too, they made him eat part of some dudes brain they'd fished out of the river

he was so fucking annoying one of the Aghoris told the interpretor to make him shut up or he was going to cut his head off and eat him next.
I think they were deliberately trolling the faggot, but they're legit cannibals and Reza Aslan is a soy filled CNN bitch, he fucking shit and bailed, left his camera guys and the interpretor with the cannibals.

 

[John_Smith]

Bookscan tends to undercount. I think the estimate is that it reports 75% of actual sales, so take Piggy's sales numbers and multiply them by 4/3. Still pretty sad. And they will never increase unless his fabled movie deal comes through.

Good to see King Sakatha is back. The Pig needs a humbling.

 

[Thé au lait]

I think he's Pasta Butt Naked now.

Yeah Reza Aslan from CNN interviewed them too, they made him eat part of some dudes brain they'd fished out of the river

he was so fucking annoying one of the Aghoris told the interpretor to make him shut up or he was going to cut his head off and eat him next.
I think they were deliberately trolling the faggot, but they're legit cannibals and Reza Aslan is a soy filled CNN bitch, he fucking shit and bailed, left his camera guys and the interpretor with the cannibals.

LMAO YES THAT WAS THE ONE, I used to re-watch that regularly to watch that fucking queer squirm

 

[Irene and 22 others]

Ok so let's be really generous and say each book sold for $20 and Fatrick kept every single cent, stalker. Rounding down, because there's no way in hell he made that per book and I like easy math, that's $120,000. Not a bad haul. Oh that's over 8 years. I don’t feel so good Pat bros. That's like $15,000 a year and me using unrealistically high numbers. In reality, he was probably making, at most, like 5 grand a year.

I really like this new Pat protestor because I read it in my head in a booming super regal voice.

The more realistic truth is that he received an advance and maybe gets a few dollars per copy after he hits some predetermined sales threshold. Even in the era of easy money, I don't think anyone would have thrown more than $50,000 at Fatrick and it's pretty damn obvious that he would have settled for a lot less.

That's a little over $6,000 per year which might be good for piggly wiggly, but the publisher lost money. If anyone actually read the slop he regurgitated I don't think that they would have recommended anything other than the cheapest softcover that the rotted lumber that is paid to be hauled off could produce.