Can't find a fucking job

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My recommendation for anyone entering the work force is look at your general area and see who is long established in it as Private corporation. You would be surprised how many there are, with their fingers in everything from Restaurants and Convenience Stores, to HVAC repair, light industry and boutique investing. Unlike mega globo homo corporations, these tend to be closely held family run affairs that pride personal relationships and in person stuff. They also like hiring in house.

So, you could get an "in" with them by being the door greeter, phone answerer or cashier. But if you are a proven go getter who shows up on time (which already puts you ahead of 60% of the labor pool) they will put your resume at the top of the pile when you apply for something that pays better and carries more responsibility.

And if for whatever reason they don't want to career track you, just put your 2 weeks in and nope out, thank them for the time, but you found a better job somewhere else. And use them for a reference. If you are a good worker and not a dick about it, they will happily tell your new prospective employer you were a good worker.

Mild powerlevel story, part of the reason I was able to secure a mortgage and buy property at the height of the pandemic was that despite working a far better paid job, I still stuck around in a Restaurant I had been working in for a shift or two because I enjoyed it and it gave extra spending money. When COVID iced so much work, I was able to work more shifts at the Restaurant as an "essential worker". It also meant I was never "unemployed" in the Pandemic. Which turned out to be clutch because when it came time to put all the financials together I had two different W-2's and Two different companies telling the lender what a solid worker I was, with no unemployement benefits claimed even during Covid. The bank tripped over its erect dick to lend me money. You never know where even the most banal of work can land you, or what opportunities can come your way from it.

The important lesson to take home is that all work has value, and its something that isn't taught anymore. Too many people expect to be just given that fat paycheck right out of College. Without any idea of the actual value of the thing. I especially cannot stand these zoomie zooms that come in and expect to be managers when they've never even been the scut worker yet. How the fuck can you tell them how to do their job properly if you've never done it yourself?
 
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$1 blowjobs, now you just need 1,000,000 customers.

Make sure your resume can pass the ATS. (Applicant Tracking System). Make it in Word, keep the formatting simple, avoid multiple column layouts.
Look up the current ATS meta. It'll be a big list of words. Put it in the footer of your resume in white, font size 1. Export as PDF, apply. The HR roastie software will see that text and it'll light up on their systems.
 
I gotta say, working at a job where you have to use gamer exploits just to get hired sounds gayer than the $1 blowjob option.
I agree. We live in the gayest possible cyberpunk reality where you have to memorize the steps of The Village People to get into digital paper-pushing. QA is a great opportunity to be a big fat useless barnacle on the bottom of the tech boat, remotely sucking down Californian paychecks while living in a poor state.

Also forgot to mention, DEI is in a bit of a tailspin as of this post. Decline to identify on everything because the traditional trick of marking yourself up as a half-Kiribati black transgender cripple veteran may blow up in your face if CEOs start making TED talks about how diversity is a bad thing actually.

In OP's situation, I'd hop on what we called bog-scrubbing duty. Janitor work, but avoid corpo buildings if you can, it's too much vacuuming for my taste.
  • No meetings, top brass will leave you alone so long as their crapper is spotless.
  • Entirely optional chances to talk to lots of people.
  • Keeps you fit (stairs, generally long and retarded building designs)
  • Very limited by way of responsibilities.
Might be dead-end, but it's money for old rope. Certain places even offer hazard pay for it if it's a high-security area. Mental hospitals, gas terminals, factories, jails/prisons. Scrubbing skid-marked toilets in the kinds of places nobody wants to be pays acceptably and will give you stories to tell. Almost all my colleagues in that line of work were pretty chill, too. You even get used to the smells of poop, piss and harsh chemicals over time.

Downsides are hours (You'll get 37.5/week and seldom more), the fact it isn't essential work (but you may well wind up a glorified errand boy on the clock) and disease. Shit like flu and norovirus spread like wildfire anywhere people are crowded in and it will fuck you up if you don't take precautions. Covid hype probably made you brazen to sickness but Noro will put you on the toilet for a few days regardless. Would not recommend.
 
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If you don't have any skills and want to get some and don't mind putting up with a shit job for about 4 months do the following.
1:Apply to Amazon (They will hire literally any retard)
2:Work for 3 months
3:Sign up for the Career Choice program
4:Select what school you want to go to and for what program (They cover all kindsa shit from welding to IT)
5:Sign up for the school
6:Request payment from Career Choice
7:The day after class starts either quit Amazon or request educational leave and get another job while you go to school to cover bills. They don't kick you out of the program or require repayment as long as you quit after the schools payment has gone through.

They cover about 6 grand a year which will cover alot of year long trades programs or enough courses with places like WGU to get a decent amount of certificates. You can abuse this to get a bachelor's if you feel like going through the process every year as they will generally rehire people who quit. Maybe just work there a little longer than the 3 months required to enroll. If you get a cert that can be applied within Amazon they are very likely to hire if you're already working there and some of the guys like RME and Robotics make decent money.
 
My job is imploding around me, luckily my position is "secure" but I am going to be job hunting ASAP to get out. They decided to take the CEOs wife, who was already the head of HR, and make her also head of operations.

I am fully remote so my job hunt is gonna extra suck, luckily theres no real rush besides the sense of impending doom.
 
Learn typescript/JavaScript and get a remote boomer web developer job. It's ezpz and the pay isn't tied as much to the local economy so if you live in a poorer area you can be king nigger in the hood
Those kind of low-end techies are in suicide watch now, the gravy train ended after 2022.
 
Those kind of low-end techies are in suicide watch now, the gravy train ended after 2022.
As long as it's remote, move somewhere where the cost of living is nothing and then it doesn't matter that much. Old industries like banking, insurance, etc are always behind by like +5y so there is still opportunity. I won't name drop who I work for these days but I know they are still showing growth and still hiring for positions from entry to senior. The pay isn't going to be near the level of 2020 Bay area but it's way more than enough to be hood rich in an area where the average income is like $50k
 
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Not a bad idea,
Very bad idea. You've got better things to do in your life than pick up cigarette butts while some jumped up little boy with stripes on his sleeve rubs his cock while screaming at you, safe in the knowledge that cops will come and throw you in jail if you give him the lesson of a bloody nose.


The US military exists to piss away resources and to instill cowardice.

Join some racist militia instead. They probably have better training and discipline, anyway.


Edit-- sorry, that was autistic. I've been listening to Virgil all day and I'm fired up.

I still essentially mean what I said-- the military is a demeaning and unprofitable place for anyone with any spirit. This is because of about 5% of the people in it. Most of them are fine, and some of them are reallu swell, but there's faggots, retards, and cowards, too, and far from being punished, those thrive.

Muh benefits are just another form of money, and paying for health insurance is better than dealing with a disinterested, lazy Navy doctor. You can whip the shit out of the military for making cash easily enough, unless you're a lazy and self-entitled nigger.
 
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Have you applied to the day labor or staffing agencies in your area? What kind of resume are you working with? (please avoid pl)

Having done this before, I will say that this is the absolute worst form of labor you can possibly engage in, and if I had to do it again, I'd blow my fucking brains out in the temp agency office. They REALLY don't want to cut that check, and they probably don't ever want to see you again if it looks like you're employable elsewhere. Temp work is pretty much only for people with face tattoos and people who can't speak the country's language. Think about it. 9 times out of every 10 temp jobs you'll ever get are assisting with a construction project. Don't you think they'd just hire a guy for the kind of bitchwork they hardly trust you with if they actually needed you around? Most construction crews are already full of felons. If they have to reach into the temp agency bag to get someone, it's explicitly because they need to fill a vacuum with a living body who is beneath even that of your garden-variety repeat criminal.

Those kind of low-end techies are in suicide watch now, the gravy train ended after 2022.
Oh man, you should see what's been happening to Geek Squad. Best Buy as a whole is going the way of Circuit City, and they have been mass pink-slipping their Geek Squad Agents since 2020. From what I've been told, they were setting company records for sales and reviews, so something REALLY BAD must be happening inside of Best Buy in general. Their stores are a fucking ghost town. No staff, no customers, it's like a Mattress Firm mixed with an Anechoic Chamber in there, and I felt the type of extreme loneliness only Astronauts have felt before me. It's so wild, 10 years ago this place would have had the kind of foot traffic you'd see in a grocery store.

Around April this year, their near-entire clientele, from resetting routers, to TV installations, suddenly fell into my company's lap, and we don't even really do their shit, but I guess we're going to start now. Just started hiring all of the guys they fired through the summer, and they're so well connected that we basically got their entire former staff in two weeks. Most of them really know their shit. These guys were fixing washing machines for $15/hr, when the local repair place hires at $27. Insane how people just don't know when they're underselling themselves.
 
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The pay isn't going to be near the level of 2020 Bay area but it's way more than enough to be hood rich in an area where the average income is like $50k
The average income where I live is much, much lower than that. Is it really very easy to start out fully remote?

I make about 80k a year with my slapdick driving job, but considering commuting to the yard it eats up about 65 hours a week.
 
Not a bad idea, but be very careful with the military, it'll tear your ass to shreds if you're not careful, and you won't even have to deploy.
No. The military is just a retard high school.

The only thing worth it is that sweet GI Bill money so you can go unemployed for a few years and get free schooling you'll never use in the real world and even then with how expensive everything is now I don't even know if thats possible for people to do anymore.
 
there is no shame in taking money from the state
apply for every benefit you can think of
the state wants you dead and every cent you earn is taxed so mbubu and pajeet can buy an iphone
i spent days swinging a pickaxe all day long for no pay because it was a project for orphans and no job ever that i got paid for felt as good
apply for benefits, leech money from the state, lie about petty owies and bad mentals, use the free time to train skills that you care about
the current system only works because you pay into it
if you think you wont get enough money to live off from the state consider that entire mexican clans with 10 kids do just fine
 
Very bad idea. You've got better things to do in your life than pick up cigarette butts while some jumped up little boy with stripes on his sleeve rubs his cock while screaming at you, safe in the knowledge that cops will come and throw you in jail if you give him the lesson of a bloody nose.


The US military exists to piss away resources and to instill cowardice.

Join some racist militia instead. They probably have better training and discipline, anyway.


Edit-- sorry, that was autistic. I've been listening to Virgil all day and I'm fired up.

I still essentially mean what I said-- the military is a demeaning and unprofitable place for anyone with any spirit. This is because of about 5% of the people in it. Most of them are fine, and some of them are reallu swell, but there's faggots, retards, and cowards, too, and far from being punished, those thrive.

Muh benefits are just another form of money, and paying for health insurance is better than dealing with a disinterested, lazy Navy doctor. You can whip the shit out of the military for making cash easily enough, unless you're a lazy and self-entitled nigger.

No. The military is just a retard high school.

The only thing worth it is that sweet GI Bill money so you can go unemployed for a few years and get free schooling you'll never use in the real world and even then with how expensive everything is now I don't even know if thats possible for people to do anymore.

I won't deny any of that. I wasn't in a gimp job like aircraft maintainer or infantryman so I didn't get to really experience the retardation of the military too much, but I definitely got a good taste, cuz I got PACT act assraped with shitty water + stress to the point where I have a different disease/condition for every part of my digestive tract.

Rated 100% P&T by the VA though so I make more than most of the officers that were above me though so thats cool.

On second thought, stay out of the military, its full of retards.
 
Old industries like banking, insurance, etc are always behind by like +5y so there is still opportunity.
The ones I seen don't do remote, banking for example there was a lot of hype lately around they paying big for COBOL devs, enough to get me to drop my skepticism of adverticles and actually look it up only to see that it was just bait as usual: the jobs were all soulless corporate, boring-ass offices, "remote? what's remote? we need you to come here every day"-kind but with a pay around $60k tops and you were a contractor meaning they would drop you at any time. This despite the entire financial, insurance and other such industries relying almost completely on COBOL, a language that hardly gets any new devs now and the majority are retired or straight up dead.
I won't name drop who I work for these days but I know they are still showing growth and still hiring for positions from entry to senior.
No need to PL just say which industry.
It's so wild, 10 years ago this place would have had the kind of foot traffic you'd see in a grocery store.
Funny 'cause I haven't stepped on a bestbuy for almost that long and even back in the mid 2010's the place was a bit empty, there was little variety and lots of things were chronically out of stock so it was faster to just order online.

As for the geek squad, not what I meant with "techies", anyway, never hired them because I didn't need them but the stories I heard were of rampant incompetence to say the least. Turns out they were actually good? and doing it for cheap?
 
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Having done this before, I will say that this is the absolute worst form of labor you can possibly engage in, and if I had to do it again, I'd blow my fucking brains out in the temp agency office. They REALLY don't want to cut that check, and they probably don't ever want to see you again if it looks like you're employable elsewhere. Temp work is pretty much only for people with face tattoos and people who can't speak the country's language. Think about it. 9 times out of every 10 temp jobs you'll ever get are assisting with a construction project. Don't you think they'd just hire a guy for the kind of bitchwork they hardly trust you with if they actually needed you around? Most construction crews are already full of felons. If they have to reach into the temp agency bag to get someone, it's explicitly because they need to fill a vacuum with a living body who is beneath even that of your garden-variety repeat criminal.
Sounds like an American problem, temps get 30% loading here, it's way better than going permanent.
 
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