Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

I think the ruse was that Joe and Moe were quasi-responsible adults. A successful academics and writer, substack darlings, living the life of bohemian elite in an expensive part of Brooklyn. Lilly found that very attractive and wanted to be a part of that life.
There was a window where I can see why hitching her wagon to the Laverys seemed like a good bet. Substack had just handed Mal and Joe half a million dollars. They both had book deals and a reasonable amount of online notoriety. Troonery was culturally ascendant.

The pregnancy remains puzzling, though. Rocco was conceived in the summer of 2023. By that point it had to be clear that Brooklyn was no longer in their price range and neither Joe nor Mal was going anywhere career-wise. As the other guy says, inscrutable.
 
I think Lilly found the high life in Brooklyn with Joe exciting in 2022-23.
Christmas 2021, Joe was dropping thousands on Xmas gifts and constantly taking Lily on little trips. There's no doubt his love bombing included PLENTY of lavish spending. I wonder when she figured out his true financial situation.

Let's all relive the horrific cringe:
 
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The pregnancy remains puzzling, though. Rocco was conceived in the summer of 2023. By that point it had to be clear that Brooklyn was no longer in their price range and neither Joe nor Mal was going anywhere career-wise. As the other guy says, inscrutable.
I think the pregnancy was a misguided attempt to be something more than another “queer” polycule playing house in Brooklyn. The Hacienda people already ensured Brooklyn is lousy with all the kinky, queer, polycules.

They were aimless adults in Brooklyn playing house. Joe and Mo are legally married so Lilly probably felt easily expendable depending on which way the winds blew. A baby would change that power balances and I still think she thought of Joe as prize and her ticket to hipster heaven.


Christmas 2021, Joe was dropping thousands on Xmas gifts and constantly taking Lily on little trips. There's no doubt his love bombing included PLENTY of lavish spending. I wonder when she figured out his true financial situation.
I don’t think any of these idiots would have honest financial discussions, or planning, until the shit hit the fan. While belts might have been tightening a bit last year, I’m sure Lilly thought this was just a temporary blip and soon Joe would have a new gig or work things out at Berkeley. (I’d truly love to hear Joe’s teeth gnashing on the subject.) One thing is for sure, Lilly buys what Joe is selling, so wouldn’t have questioned him much as things circled the drain.

Whatever he was lamenting about on Twitter, blaming trolls for his missed opportunity, seems to have been his last shot at a paycheck that could help them stay in NY.

Don’t forget the move to MI happened FAST. One day Mallory is frantically announcing she’s looking for a new NYC apartment, ansking if anyone knows any good apts, and within a month they are all packing up and driving to Michigan with an infant and two dogs. Whatever fantasy Joe was propping up, he propped up till the bitter end. I think as their hilarious Brooklyn Power Throuple magazine cover premiered they were accepting the reality they were too broke to stay in Brooklyn and live their power throuple dreams.

Joe and Moe’s entire back-up plan for their housing and new bundle of joy was Lilly! Lilly was the safety net, she just didn’t know it until Joe was getting quotes from moving companies.

Nothing will be funnier than if Lilly and Mallory end up working to house, feed and clothe Prof Joe Grace Lavery, Lansing’s premier trans scholar.
 
Nothing will be funnier than if Lilly and Mallory end up working to house, feed and clothe Prof Joe Grace Lavery, Lansing’s premier trans scholar.

In that Mallory still has some money coming in from writing her Substack, that IS kind of the situation already LOL.

I look forward to her adding a min wage job built around Lily's teaching schedule so they've got good Rocco coverage while Joe naps, adds Ever Clear to compost, and crafts sneering exposés about the academics who have failed to rescue his career for him.

Then one morning: "Danny, make Starbucks give you more hours. There's just no way I can self-publish Love Among the Fruit Flies with the paltry cash flow we have now. I mean, we can't even pay for the cover art, never mind my book tour in Blighty."
 
There was a window where I can see why hitching her wagon to the Laverys seemed like a good bet. Substack had just handed Mal and Joe half a million dollars. They both had book deals and a reasonable amount of online notoriety. Troonery was culturally ascendant.
Can anyone count how much they've blown through? I mean, didn't Mall have a house once upon a time?

It must be approaching a million they've pissed away. Amazing.
 
Can anyone count how much they've blown through? I mean, didn't Mall have a house once upon a time?

It must be approaching a million they've pissed away. Amazing.
Easily. The Substack advances were 550K over two years between the two of them. I forget if anyone has found the sale price of Mallory's house in Berkeley but I can't imagine it was less than half a million, and probably much more.
 
Most importantly, I don't think Joe has shit. He's barely been to work for the past few years and certainly not to social functions when the real tea gets spilled.

If I'm going to guess, his fetish started bleeding into his classes, students started complaining about having to read sexually charged poems (and Joe taking delight in the awkwardness) and they pulled him aside and told him to cut it out, maybe even started insisting on having to approve of each of his class assignments individually. Joe pouts about his autogynophilia not being accepted in the classroom, so they're heckin' transphobes.

It’s either academia is the secret TERF caliphate, or it’s full of chasers constantly trying to have sex with Joe, or both.

Joe has definitely detected some sex adjacent wrong think to call out. A public tantrum of troon accusations must be his ace in the hole for forcing some place to pay him to teach in spring 2025. I’m sure it will turn out well.

Also, no doubt, a nothing burger because he’s a servile coward at heart. Any accusations are born from troon BPD nonsense. He only lobs nuclear level accusations via proxies, like getting Mallory to accuse her brother of being a PDF. He doesn’t have the balls, literally, to take the heat from making shocking false allegations.
My assumption from his "fash" comment is that he's talking about stuff said in the listservs over the years. So it's irrelevant likely petty stuff everybody's seen or ignored that Joe can still dig back up with "proof" and write pages taking sentences out of context and close reading them to uncover the fascist tendencies to ruin their careers since professors at Berkeley are completely dependent on the good graces of their peers. All of whom will take this all very seriously and demand their expulsion from academia and the establishment of a Grace Lavery Institute.
 
Joe is ladycockteasing us with another threat/promise to blow up what’s left of his professional standing.

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Vagueposting again.
Cant figure out what he is aiming at here. Is this Joe wanting to take revenge on those who stood in the way of his academic success, In which case i would offer him a straight razor. Or Joe trying to threaten the powers at be into giving him what he wants, in which case I question the wisdom of coming across like an unhinged lunatic.

Either way im delighted. Presumably this is drama ahead of his new book.
Brave academic fighting against the crypto fascists of academia might even get some play in the right circles if he does it properly.

Go get em tiger!
 
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Can someone dig up the last course Joe had at Berkley? I'm curious - I just remember it having extremely inappropriate and awkward litterature.

Time flies when you're doing important work. Everything he taught at Berkeley:

2022

Fall
  • Research Seminar: Freud (had 6 open seats, only 4 enrolled, description)
Spring
  • Literature and Popular Culture: The Sit-Com
  • Research Seminar: What is Community?

2021

Fall
  • Modern British and American Literature: Contemporary British Literature and Culture (open seat)
  • Practices of Literary Study: Love and Sex

2020

Fall
  • Research Seminars: Symposia in Trans Method
Spring
  • Literature in English: The Mid-19th through the 20th Century
  • Literature and Psychology: Literature and Therapy
  • Supervised Research: Humanities (had open seats)

2019

Fall
  • Victorian Period
Spring
  • Research Seminar: Transsexual Literatures and Cultures
  • Literature and Popular Culture: The Sitcom (had open seats)

2018

Fall
  • Victorian Period
  • Special Topics: Oscar Wilde and the Nineteenth Century
Summer
  • Literature and Popular Culture: The 1990s, a Decade About Nothing (had open seats)
Spring
  • Research Seminars: The Rhetoric of Technique (had open seats)

2017

Fall
  • Victorian Period
  • Special Topics: Genres of Free Speech
Spring
  • Children's Literature

Source: The 19 items displayed for Grace Lavery in the Berkeley Academic Guide.

I highly recommend the course descriptions linked to the course number at the top of each entry. From the description for The 1990s, a Decade About Nothing (had 6 open seats for some reason):

... We will also maintain an occasional focus on our own time, and investigate the renewed appeal of 1990s fashion and culture to a moment that, after the cataclysms of the last few years, has become newly aware of history’s tenacity and volatility, and all too painfully burdened by the sense that important things are happening all around us. ...​

From the spring 2019 version of The Sitcom, confirming my rapscallion's belief that the booklet he published fed off student thought:

... Each week we will watch a total of six episodes of television, and class will entail two lectures and one discussion session. ...​

Though there were two empty seats, 218 enrolled. There is NO description given for the 2022 version of the course, but 104 enrolled. Underwater Basket Weaving, anybody?

ETA - Sadly, I must stop belittling Joe for not having a Wikipedia page like Mallory does. As of last month, he has a page of his very own (link; archive).
The principal author of the page is Silver seren (profile; archive), aka Barnstar, a Wikipedist since 2006 who was given trophies this year for creating at least one biography of a woman each week from January through June (awards; archive). Perhaps Silver then began pursuing a trophy for a troon bio each week.

In any event, Silver was annoyed by Lemmaille removing "she" from Joe's bio (convo; archive).

These just seem like leading, trolling questions. Do you really not see how claiming that a trans woman "is not female" is a bigoted anti-trans statement, Lemmaille? If you were unaware, as shown by MOS:GENDERID that I already linked, the Wikipedia community supports LGBT subjects and agrees that trans women are women and trans men are men and should be represented as such in biographical articles and other references. SilverserenC 16:33, 10 August 2024 (UTC)​
Oddly, the bio refers to Joe's 2013 dissertation and names his advisor, but does not state he received his PhD from Penn. Joe, in fact, omits that fact on the bios he controls. But here's the Penn page for him (link, archive) showing that in 2012 he taught a course, Victorian Feelings (description, archive):

... Because we will be investigating Victorian feelings as themselves literary creations brought into being by new theories of perception and consciousness, we will contextualize Victorian literary writing alongside other, less obviously literary kinds of writing, such as sentimental tracts on poverty, philosophical treatises on aesthetic sensibility, and scientific writings on sexual feelings. ...​
 
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Wow, so he last taught two years ago now? I can't imagine Berkley being happy about that.
I believe he was on sabbatical for some or all of the last few years, so the time off was technically sanctioned. No idea what he will do now though as I think sabbaticals are time-limited?
 
Easily. The Substack advances were 550K over two years between the two of them. I forget if anyone has found the sale price of Mallory's house in Berkeley but I can't imagine it was less than half a million, and probably much more.
I doubt she had that much equity in the house, so probably didn’t get a ton out of the sale, regardless of the price it sold. She sold it at a stupid time. She bought when the market was hot and sold when covid had cooled it down. Housing prices have certainly bounced back since covid in most states, but people seem to have given up on trying to gentrify Oakland and are gtfo. I can understand not wanting to live in Oakland.

Maybe she walked away with mid-five figures?

Idk but selling her one asset was dumb as shit given her husband supposedly has a job teaching at Berkeley and she probably had a great interest rate. Why she wouldn’t at least keep it as a rental property is beyond me.

Mallory really wanted to put all her chips in on Joe. No safety net.

At least Lilly wasn’t dumb enough to sell her house when she hooked up with Joe.
 
Mallory really wanted to put all her chips in on Joe. No safety net.

At least Lilly wasn’t dumb enough to sell her house when she hooked up with Joe.
I suspect it was on some level a deliberately destructive choice on Mallory's part. Burning the boats. She wanted to completely cut ties with her home and her family, or Joe convinced her that she wanted to.
 
I genuinely wonder if Joe attempted to try and convince her to sell so that they could have another few months in Brooklyn.
I think it was sold a year or so into the Brooklyn adventure? I believe it was part of requiring Mallory to obliterate everything of her pre-Joe past and prove she was born again Mr Lavery. Another step in the purification ceremony prescribed by a BPD troon sage Joe Lavery. (Aka Yoko)

Joe needed to make sure everything from her previous life was ashes, only then was her devotion to him proven. I’m sure after throwing her entire family under the bus all the other stuff was relatively easy.

Mallory had to discard everything for the magical way of life prescribed by a thrice divorced, mentally ill, wanna be psychoanalyst English professor with severe daddy issues. Prof Joe needed cash and slavish devotion and Mallory obliged in every way possible.

Lilly just needed to be his broodmare.
This might be a naïve question (eurofag) but isn’t it possible tenured professors are allowed some parental leave?
Paid parental leave at Berkeley is 8 weeks, so that’s already been burned up if he used it. I’m sure Lilly’s school has a similar policy. Unpaid he can take up to a year. Hey maybe Rocco was an attempt to save Joe’s job?

Joe had already used sabbatical and basically taken a two year vacation from his teaching positions. I don’t think suddenly declaring his girlfriend (not wife) is pregnant and he needs paid parental leave went over well after a long disappearing act while acting like a total AGP sped on Twitter. But they also can’t fire a tenured professor on parental leave, so maybe Rocco bought him some time.
 
We mussunt forget Joe was "visiting distinguished" at JHU, presenting three important lectures between January 31 and April 10 in current year (announcement; archive). He "is a pivotal scholar in contemporary trans studies."

Glassdoor somehow estimates median base pay at $132k per year for JHU visiting distinguiseds. Since Joe's commitment was originally only January and February (third lecture being delayed because of Rocco), let's make up a number based on a made-up number and say they gave him 1/6th of that: $22,000. JHU says nothing about compensation that I can find.

The University of California has failed to update its public database of salaries for 2023. I haven't found any explanation for that. Aggregate data is online, but we are not allowed to know whether the state's taxpayers gave Joe any money that year. I am disappoint.
 
Glassdoor somehow estimates median base pay at $132k per year for JHU visiting distinguiseds
I’d guess that estimate is based on the distinguished doctors and scientists that visit JHU. I was surprised to hear JHU even had an English dept, I mean obviously it would, but its entire reputation is in the medical sciences. The English dept at JHU is a footnote.

It sort of like a visiting lecture on pottery at MIT, when you’d expect a prof of computer science or mathematics to be on deck. Joe struggling for the prestige where he can get it I guess. Given all the English heavyweight depts in the north east Joe went to a uni most known for medical sciences.
 
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