Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Alpaca Autopsy Expert]

Tess has appeared on this “news” site before, including for an article that chronicled her riveting battle against “anorexia”.

Hopefully she sees this article about arm fat: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/...ntia-Doctors-reveal-circumference-danger.html

Can’t imagine what the circumference of her ham hock arms are. The article says anything above 12.5 inches is in the danger zone.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

Kind of like women buy bras that don't fit so the boobs get squished up like in a Wonder Bra.

Whatever happened to just stuffing your bra? An ill-fitting bra isn't particularly comfortable to wear. Admittedly, finding one that fits can be a pain in the ass, but wadding up some tissues and stuffing 'em in there would be infinitely more pleasant.

 

[Slippery_Slope]

Tess has appeared on this “news” site before, including for an article that chronicled her riveting battle against “anorexia”.

Hopefully she sees this article about arm fat: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/...ntia-Doctors-reveal-circumference-danger.html

Can’t imagine what the circumference of her ham hock arms are. The article says anything above 12.5 inches is in the danger zone.

Suddenly, I am glad for my stick arms. lol

Well, the pre-clinical stage of dementia comes with loss of appetite. That would be good for her.

Edit:
@My cravat doesn't flutter
It's not just about size, but also what form your boobs are. I just go to an actual lingery shop to get fitted. The women there know about boobs. First time there I was so shocked to realize I have NEVER worn a bra that actually fit or that had the right cup form. Fun fact: Bras that fit are actually really comfortable.

 

[DefCon Dumb]

I don’t know what it is specifically with Tess but of all the death fats we feature here, she’s the one who is the most visually heavy. You can tell she’s a ponderous unit and nothing she can say can fool me into thinking she weighs any less than she does.

Maybe it’s because of her proportions but she’s solidly packed with visual fat.

She’s another one who, once she starts having obviously negative health impacts, will go downhill very quickly.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

It's not just about size, but also what form your boobs are. I just go to an actual lingery shop to get fitted. The women there know about boobs. First time there I was so shocked to realize I have NEVER worn a bra that actually fit or that had the right cup form. Fun fact: Bras that fit are actually really comfortable.

Going somewhere like Victoria's Secret can be great for most women. Once you get to DDD and above, it's a lot harder to find something that fits off the rack. It's been about a decade since I gave up and switched to sports bras, so maybe things have changed since then. I wonder what Mess's bra size is. She lies about her dress size, so I couldn't be surprised if she added a few cups to her bra size.

edit: spelling

 

[NoReturn]

Going somewhere like Victoria's Secret can be great for most women. Once you get to DDD and above, it's a lot harder to find something that fits off the rack. It's been about a decade since I gave up and switched to sports bras, so maybe things have changed since then. I wonder what Mess's bra size is. She lies about her dress size, so I couldn't be surprised if she added a few cups to her bra size.

edit: spelling

Spoiler: Off-topic

I'd like to gently recommend you look back at normal bras again. I did the sports bra thing for a while and it ended up causing some problems in the long-term that have taken a while to fix.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I don’t know what it is specifically with Tess but of all the death fats we feature here, she’s the one who is the most visually heavy. You can tell she’s a ponderous unit and nothing she can say can fool me into thinking she weighs any less than she does.

Upper body weight gain. Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson have this body type too, and they used to get called porkers much sooner than other celebs. It's the opposite of how ass-first weight gain is perceived. Even with a flat-ish stomach, a woman with chubby arms and face will seem "fat".

 

[multiverse]

Tess just dumped a LOT.
I love how the audio on this one cuts out halfway through the video:
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She's Italian now.
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Poor Rylee.
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Malding over her Yitty size.
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"Look, I managed to squish into a very old and worn out 3x skirt made of lycra infused sweatsuit material. So obviously I'm still a size 24!"

This lady has been shoving that tatty old skirt onto her bulk for years, until all the stretch material has basically died a sad and sweat infused death. It has grown with her and has zero shape at this point, which is the only reason she can still shimmy it over her lower ham hocks. This does not make her a 3x.

She also makes this same claim with t-shirts, when she has to cut them under the arms and up the back to get inside the garments. Look, the tag says 3x and by ripping it to shreds, she is now inside that shirt!

She was a size 28 six years ago when she got her last Eloquii gig, and she is bigger than she was in 2018. Tess was not hired back because she threw fits in their comments about the brand advertising the real size she wore, claiming their entire line ran two sizes too small. And here she is now, unemployed for years on end, almost 40 and still making it clear that her delusions are more important than being hired by clients.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Going somewhere like Victoria's Secret can be great for most women. Once you get to DDD and above, it's a lot harder to find something that fits off the rack. It's been about a decade since I gave up and switched to sports bras, so maybe things have changed since then. I wonder what Mess's bra size is. She lies about her dress size, so I couldn't be surprised if she added a few cups to her bra size.

edit: spelling

A properly fitted bra would do a lot to make Tess appear thinner and improve her posture, but she will have to pay a LOT to get one.
But ice cream and other snacks are more important to her than a good bra.

 

[Gay Mouth]

A properly fitted bra would do a lot to make Tess appear thinner and improve her posture, but she will have to pay a LOT to get one.
But ice cream and other snacks are more important to her than a good bra.

I respectfully ask that you look at this bacon back hog and tell me again that any article of clothing could make her look thinner

Dolly Parton's soul is trapped inside this porcine vessel

 

[Cheesegirl78]

I respectfully ask that you look at this bacon back hog and tell me again that any article of clothing could make her look thinner
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Dolly Parton's soul is trapped inside this porcine vessel

Yeah, I didn't word that right.

A good, well-fitted bra may give her the ILLUSION of an actual waist, instead of her boobs melding with her gut.

 

[Twrx]

I'm convinced she's got small tits, despite her tonnage.

 

[Trombonista]

I'm convinced she's got small tits, despite her tonnage.

A lot of the subjects of this subforum have this issue.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

Idk them back titties look like at least an H cup

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

A properly fitted bra would do a lot to make Tess appear thinner and improve her posture, but she will have to pay a LOT to get one.

I respectfully ask that you look at this bacon back hog and tell me again that any article of clothing could make her look thinner

I remember Mess wearing a lot of corsets early in her career. "Eff your beauty standards... but I still wanna look skinnier than I am."

 

[JambledUpWords]

I remember Mess wearing a lot of corsets early in her career. "Eff your beauty standards... but I still wanna look skinnier than I am."

Early in her career, she tried so hard to make her waist look smaller. Her actually being smaller helped though, and with enough photoshop, she was able to look like a feeder fetish drawing (as in, being gigantic, but mysteriously having zero stretch marks and all weight distributed in aesthetically pleasing areas). Tess wishes she still looked like this:

 

[Grand Duke Snowfall]

Early in her career, she tried so hard to make her waist look smaller. Her actually being smaller helped though, and with enough photoshop, she was able to look like a feeder fetish drawing (as in, being gigantic, but mysteriously having zero stretch marks and all weight distributed in aesthetically pleasing areas). Tess wishes she still looked like this:
View attachment 6305789

For some reason I tried to imagine how she’d look trying to wear a corset nowadays, if it were possible. It led to an image of someone squeezing an overfilled sausage, like some kind of human elephant toothpaste experiment.

 

[Blerg]

Maybe I missed her reason for being in Mississippi, but I hope she finally lost that tacky apartment and her super model California dreams, and has to live in her hometown for a good long time. It would be her biggest nightmare, and probably one of the best things to ever happen to Bowie.

He likely won’t be stuck in an undecorated room alone, or bunked with poorly vetted trans bffs, or put into inappropriate situations with an actual familial support system in place. Sure he’ll end up undereducated and likely dumb as shit, but at least he has less of a chance of being an all-out mess like his mother.

On the other hand, those are also the people that shaped her, so who knows.

 

[multiverse]

Sure he’ll end up undereducated and likely dumb as shit

Never say never: Ryann's bother Tad turned out all right and from what little he has posted online, literate and expressive. He also isn't a fat, and has a normie job / life.

We have no idea what Beth was like before she took a point blank shotgun blast to the head in a horrific episode of domestic violence. It's possible she's also quite bright naturally, and even after her accident Beth worked in in some sort of real estate office for years.

Ryann's dad seems to have settled down and down quite well for himself, even raising another son who is also not a fat.

It's just Tessie who is a giant fat mess, and dumb as rocks to boot. Given that Nick is also a moron, feeder, and a troon: that doesn't bode well for Bowie's potential. But their extended families don't have a plethora of other fuckups, so there's a chance the little guy could make it if raised around normal people.

 

[lamp shade]

I just want to note the several signs that she’s lying about her size:

1. The skirt is a stretchy material. She didn’t show something that would actually be true to size like slacks.

2. She showed a piece of clothing with a 3X and referenced a chart that said 3X was a 24 or 26. Notice she rounded down.

3. She showed a piece of clothing that is a 3X, not a clearly indicated size 24. If you’re a 24, show us something with a 24 on it.

Who does this bitch think she’s fooling?