Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Falcon Sebben]

Yeah sometimes I forget Jack is like 55 years old because of how he looks and acts like a 70 year old boomer.

He is a 70 year old boomer. Some people just have shit genetics and grow old before their time. That's Fatty.

Jack really loves women

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I guess this explains why Jack loves kids shows

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So context doesn't matter to him or anything. It's all media bias when Trump is made to look like an idiot due to his own idiocy.

but he’s still pretty lazy in the romance department

When this is your example of a "romantic" meal then you know you're out of ideas.

Premade pie crust with premade cheesecake filling.
Chicken marinated in salsa and broiled.
Iceberg lettuce salad with a smattering of veggies.
Steamed broccoli.
Baked potato.

Yeah if this is your idea of romantic then you don't know what the hell the word even means. This is what you make when you have no time or idea what you're doing. It's safe and it's boring. But it's right in line with what I'd expect from Fatty.

 

[Guntanator]

Just to add to the financial speculation, Tammy's previous roles include financial controller which is a pretty good paying position. I took a look at what the average salaries are for controllers in tn and I saw salaries ranging from 100-230k per year. If she did make this kind of money it all makes more sense now.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

Just to add to the financial speculation, Tammy's previous roles include financial controller which is a pretty good paying position. I took a look at what the average salaries are for controllers in tn and I saw salaries ranging from 100-230k per year. If she did make this kind of money it all makes more sense now.

That's higher than what I have seen. Indeed gives a range from $60k-$144k with an average of $94k. Ziprecruiter shows $38k-$153k with the average being $96k. Payscale has $78k to $127k with an average of $97k. Those $230k a year jobs are for senior level positions that require or at least strongly prefer a professional license and/or a Master's degree. She's had a long career, but most of it has been bouncing around every couple of years to another small company that doesn't care that she has no licenses and only a Bachelor's from a long-defunct shady for-profit college. She's probably not making much more than $120k/year. Still decent money, but enough to support their lifestyle and still have money left over? Maybe.

 

[AltisticRight]

He is a 70 year old boomer. Some people just have shit genetics and grow old before their time. That's Fatty.


So context doesn't matter to him or anything. It's all media bias when Trump is made to look like an idiot due to his own idiocy.


When this is your example of a "romantic" meal then you know you're out of ideas.

Premade pie crust with premade cheesecake filling.
Chicken marinated in salsa and broiled.
Iceberg lettuce salad with a smattering of veggies.
Steamed broccoli.
Baked potato.

Yeah if this is your idea of romantic then you don't know what the hell the word even means. This is what you make when you have no time or idea what you're doing. It's safe and it's boring. But it's right in line with what I'd expect from Fatty.

Imagine the red, green and bland ooze of those veggies blended together. What a vile feed.

 

[KateKorgi]

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Jack sounds so much like Tom Segura to me, at least in this clip.

 

[Caligura]

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based as heck

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

Jack blaming his dysphagia on an unlikely source .

 

[Brown People are Gross]

Is his new house made of shipping containers or what?

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Jack blaming his dysphagia on an unlikely source .

With Jack shouldn't be it be dysfagia?

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

Is his new house made of shipping containers or what?

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Shipping containers are structurally sound, and generally contain valuable items worth moving. The only moving thing in Jacks house worth anything is his mobility scooter.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

From the outside, it’s hard to decide what bothers me most: the sparse, tiny windows; the overall hideous structure; the aluminum siding and stone combo, the lack of mature trees…the list goes on.

As for the interior, it takes a special couple to make a space like that look and feel so cluttered. They’ve barely unpacked and it is already so full of crap. That video should have had a trigger warning for claustrophobics.

Jack’s narration is a horror all its own. I could live my whole life without hearing a grown man describe a room as “cute” ever again. Also hate him describing things as “huge” that are just standard-sized.

I’m a latecomer to the thread after abandoning an attempt to start from page one last year. But I might have to go back and try again, just so I don’t miss out on his greatest hits. (I had to fast yesterday and I watched CWJ videos since I knew they wouldn’t make me hungry.)

 

[Adamska]

Is his new house made of shipping containers or what?

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Hahaha it looks like the paneling's already starting to buckle and warp due to the heat in a couple of places. Probably shouldn't have gotten people who spec in patios and decks to built a shitty cult compound.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

Hahaha it looks like the paneling's already starting to buckle and warp due to the heat in a couple of places. Probably shouldn't have gotten people who spec in patios and decks to built a shitty cult compound.

I don't see it, but I can believe it. Not due to construction quality, but just that its prefab panels over a skeletal frame, with some insulation between. I doubt they paid up for quality panels either, so they're probably gonna get the shit dented outta them come the first hailstorm. Wouldn't be surprised if it groaned or creaked in heavy winds either.

This shits supposed to be used for garages, sheds, workshops, the sorta buildings where you just need walls and a roof over a big open space, to cover the actual shit inside you care about. Its not supposed to be pretty, or pleasant, or even particularly long lasting, even with proper maintenance. If your garage creaks, panels warps a bit or starts to leak heat, you probably don't care. Slightly more annoying in a workshop, but you're probably not gonna hear the creaking over the work you're presumably doing. And ain't never seen a cow complain about its barn. Guess we'll see if Jack lives up to that adage about being what you eat.

The only thing I'm not inclined to blame is the construction company, sounds like Jack got exactly what he paid for.

 

[Tiresome]

The only moving thing in Jacks house worth anything is his mobility scooter.

You say that after he has cheese farted in it for dozens of months on end.

I doubt they paid up for quality panels either, so they're probably gonna get the shit dented outta them come the first hailstorm. Wouldn't be surprised if it groaned or creaked in heavy winds either.

Which means we have many, many angy Jack Facebook rages to come about home builders that "ripped them off" and how this is a sign of further irreversible decline in America rather than his own pure retarded decisions.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I don't see it

Imagine building a house in fucking Dixie Alley and cheaping out on the materials.





Fall tornado season can’t come quickly enough for me now.

 

[Flesh Ribbons]

Imagine building a house in fucking Dixie Alley and cheaping out on the materials.

I bet the older house on the Scalfani compound will fair much better in any tornado that comes through.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I bet the older house on the Scalfani compound will fair much better in any tornado that comes through.

Do we have images of it? If Jack is in a wheelchair, I doubt he’ll be able to get into that house unless they’ve gone to great expense to modify it. And why would they?

I shouldn’t laugh, but the image of Tammy pushing his chair to Jr’s in the middle of a tornado and trying to ram it into the door repeatedly— as if that will inevitably help him squeeze through — is amusing to me. Best case scenario, she’ll ditch him and his chair in the garage while she rushes to safety in Jr’s bathtub or basement.

Their new house doesn’t even have a basement, does it?

 

[Marc]

I imagine Jack gritting his teeth as the tornado bears down on his attempt to speed to safety in his motorized scooter. The relentless pull of the twister manages to work the end of the prolapse Tammy normally tucks into one of Jack's knee-high compression socks out and up into the vortex, where it flaps and flails like a gangrenous windsock. The high RPM funnel cloud begins sucking out forty years of impacted fecal matter and rotting meat - As though Jehovah Gud Himself is at last performing an overdue colonic irrigation. Jack doesn't notice when his purple arm is yanked out of the socket like a baby tooth with the texture of maggoted fruit.

Choked with high density shit, the tornado loosens its grip enough for Jack to floor the accelerator of his scooty puff; kicking up gravel and propelling him through the wall of Jr. and Brianna's home like the Kool-Aid Man, while eighteen feet of smoldering, ant-covered intestine trails behind him like Marsupilami's tail, with the portions being dragged over concrete kicking up sparks.

The twister continues through the greater Nashville area, tainted a horrible shade of red-brown with vaporized feces and gud meatz, and poisoning all who breathe its foul cloud. Man and creature alike fall to the ground and die yodeling - their final moments spent scratching deep gouges into their throats in a primal struggle to afford themselves more air.

Jack's hat somehow remains on his head.

...

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I imagine

This is one of the most disgusting and hilarious things I’ve ever read on the internet. I wish @Sharpeteer had the time and inclination to bring your script to life in one of his videos.