Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[densedance]

I imagine Jack gritting his teeth as the tornado bears down on his attempt to speed to safety in his motorized scooter. The relentless pull of the twister manages to work the end of the prolapse Tammy normally tucks into one of Jack's knee-high compression socks out and up into the vortex, where it flaps and flails like a gangrenous windsock. The high RPM funnel cloud begins sucking out forty years of impacted fecal matter and rotting meat - As though Jehovah Gud Himself is at last performing an overdue colonic irrigation. Jack doesn't notice when his purple arm is yanked out of the socket like a baby tooth with the texture of maggoted fruit.

Choked with high density shit, the tornado loosens its grip enough for Jack to floor the accelerator of his scooty puff; kicking up gravel and propelling him through the wall of Jr. and Brianna's home like the Kool-Aid Man, while eighteen feet of smoldering, ant-covered intestine trails behind him like Marsupilami's tail, with the portions being dragged over concrete kicking up sparks.

The twister continues through the greater Nashville area, tainted a horrible shade of red-brown with vaporized feces and gud meatz, and poisoning all who breathe its foul cloud. Man and creature alike fall to the ground and die yodeling - their final moments spent scratching deep gouges into their throats in a primal struggle to afford themselves more air.

Jack's hat somehow remains on his head.

...

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deadass

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Is his new house made of shipping containers or what?

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Shipping containers can be used in some creative ways and they're cheap all things considered.

Colleges are now using these to build dorms with and ironically one is in Nashville:

https://www.newschannel5.com/news/on-the-rise/fisk-university-is-turning-to-shipping-containers-to-help-house-their-students

But in this case no. It just looks cheap and shoddy.

 

[Adamska]

Shipping containers blow ass for living in. They're garbage to build with since there's no insulation at all, and adding that since otherwise you microwave or freeze to death in them removes critical amounts of room for anything. Also its mostly all structural; any cuts or edits to the frame ruin its load bearing stability. Good luck if you want things like windows lol.

The people who push for them are idiots, and news outlets who do want you to live in the cube. Get a proper tiny house if you truly want that benefit, or just modify the shit out of a shed.

 

[Super Hans v2]

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I'll give the contractor the benefit of the doubt here. It's barely been a month and if the barn is already showing degradation I'd imagine that the other ones they've build would show the shoddy craftsmanship, and they'd be legally fucked.

I think it's that the vegetation is creating soft shadows. It'd be hilarious if I'm wrong, though.

 

[NaggotFigger]

Shipping containers can be used in some creative ways and they're cheap all things considered.

Colleges are now using these to build dorms with and ironically one is in Nashville:

https://www.newschannel5.com/news/on-the-rise/fisk-university-is-turning-to-shipping-containers-to-help-house-their-students

But in this case no. It just looks cheap and shoddy.

Though, unlike shipping containers, all of Jagoff's furnitures are cheap and shoddy, much like his cooking. Except, his cooking has lethal effects to it, and he feeds his poor children to eating such poisonous food. No wonder Jack is a Salmonella Deity, he eats and falls almost close to death, yet survive through multiple instances of salmonella from his slop.

Shipping containers blow ass for living in. They're garbage to build with since there's no insulation at all, and adding that since otherwise you microwave or freeze to death in them removes critical amounts of room for anything. Also its mostly all structural; any cuts or edits to the frame ruin its load bearing stability. Good luck if you want things like windows lol.

Shipping containers are used for mass-loading, and they are mainly made of steel, which makes them still also prone of getting rust from oxidation. When iron reacts with oxigen, they form hydroxide iron oxide (Fe2O3). Consider the oxigen from saltwater of the sea is more potent than freshwater due to presence of dissolving ions, they will oxidate the steel of the shipping container through presence of dissolving ions, which the electron moves faster on the metal, speeding up the rusting process. They do not always have to be submerged in saltwater to get oxidated. This is from my basic chemistry knowledge.
Already in, and shipping containers would have rust in some parts already, consider its material. If they intend to ship metal and steel in, that alone with its electron reaction would also possibly oxidate the inside's steel shipments as well, if I get it right. Maybe I could be wrong. If you have steel window frames, then you are fucked.

The people who push for them are idiots, and news outlets who do want you to live in the cube. Get a proper tiny house if you truly want that benefit, or just modify the shit out of a shed.

They have the intelligence as comparable as a goldfish alone, including Jagoff to just believe that alone. Which also said the reason why their home and everything looks cheap in quality. Sheer fucking hilarity.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

At a maximum, well-maintained shipping containers still only last about 25 years. And that’s if they’re frequently repainted and treated to prevent the steel from coming into contact with moisture and air.

Now I may be a newcomer to this cow, but already I can tell that Jack and Tammy are not the kind of people who will be up for all that work on a regular basis.

No matter what, it’s a safe bet that the house will outlive Jack. But it’s hard to imagine it doing anything but depreciating in value, unless a big company like Google or Ford opens up a major facility right next door and the land can attract a decent amount for a tear-down.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Okay what the hell is Jack crying about-



Oh dumb political shit

Nicest guy on Youtube everybody!





Health guru bullshit



Political sperging

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

Jagoff is offended that Kaepernick kneeled and "disrespected the troops". Meanwhile every memorial day Jack tells veterans to stfu about remembering dead soldiers and ruining his gluttonous vibes. He also tells veterans that his experience is just as valid as their own because he had a few friends that were deployed to war and that is exactly the same as actually being a soldier during wartime.

 

[Marc]

He also tells veterans that his experience is just as valid as their own because he had a few friends that were deployed to war and that is exactly the same as actually being a soldier during wartime.

Jack amazingly manages to be worse than you're describing: He tries to one-up their PTSD war stories by having the last word - generally through bragging that he "does a lot" for "our" veterans, without ever elaborating. He earnestly considers those who served or fought on the frontlines to have earned the right to be a peer of him: the main character in Jesus Christ's favorite story.

 

[Sharpeteer]

This is one of the most disgusting and hilarious things I’ve ever read on the internet. I wish @Sharpeteer had the time and inclination to bring your script to life in one of his videos.

I wish I knew who this guy was. If Rackets goes to prison for awhile, and Dickers finally fucks off I'll need more lolcows to watch.

 

[Metamorpho]

Health guru bullshit

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This is like watching Chris Brown complain about domestic abuse.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Just to add to the financial speculation, Tammy's previous roles include financial controller which is a pretty good paying position. I took a look at what the average salaries are for controllers in tn and I saw salaries ranging from 100-230k per year. If she did make this kind of money it all makes more sense now.

$160k tops



Not that much

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I wish I knew who this guy was. If Rackets goes to prison for awhile, and Dickers finally fucks off I'll need more lolcows to watch.

Bookmark this thread for a rainy day. No abused kids here, just a fat sperg who styles himself as a cooking guru but only comes up with absolute vomit. Playlist for fun (do not eat while watching): https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxmlKynnjScbKSzjHwk74H-M-X2llZf2O&feature=shared

 

[Aunt Carol]

No abused kids here

Well, not these days.

 

[AltisticRight]

He tries to one-up their PTSD war stories by having the last word - generally through bragging that he "does a lot" for "our" veterans, without ever elaborating.

Well, is it that bad compared to eating ANYTHING that comes out of Scalfatty's "kitchen"?

 

[ZipDisk]

There are situations where you want garlic powder instead of fresh garlic.

This does not explain why the scalfattis exclusively use jarlic, and freeze the shit.

minced garlic in the jar is cheap as fuck, there is no reason why anyone should run a surplus.

I bought a bunch of cheap hot sauce when I was in a dumbass phase, and it all got gross sitting in the pantry. Few of those bottles went over $3, so I'm dumping them down the fucking sink, something Jack would never do.

HIS SRIRACHA TURNED FUCKING PURPLE

The romance meal is Scalfani in a nutshell. Fucking tampon goauld symbiote.

Marc, fuck you for reminding me marsupilami existed.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

Bookmark this thread for a rainy day. No abused kids here, just a fat sperg who styles himself as a cooking guru but only comes up with absolute vomit. Playlist for fun (do not eat while watching): https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxmlKynnjScbKSzjHwk74H-M-X2llZf2O&feature=shared

Child abuse is one of the tags of this thread. Jack strangled one of his sons.

 

[lindsayfan]

Child abuse is one of the tags of this thread. Jack strangled one of his sons.

and then god took away one of jack's arms! these days he'd have to ask tammy to strangle a child for him.

"ok guys. today we're strangling our child for being gay. come in close and let's take a look."
(cut to tammy's wrinkled, beringed paws wrapped around the neck of a 10-year-old)
"ok, so what have you got there? that's our child's neck?"
"yehp," (grunting with exertion) "this is his neck."
"that's our kid's neck, guys. "

etc

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Lol Rob is amazing

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Child abuse is one of the tags of this thread. Jack strangled one of his sons.

My bad. I need to make time to read the entire thread, clearly.

I’m already curious about his son — specifically how tacky the wedding was. I know they streamed the ceremony online for Jack’s “fans,” but any pointers to photos etc. would be appreciated. I’m sure it was gauche as shit.