Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Bassomatic]

Every time I see Jack eat burger king or Wendys I think those old skits where Conan made Martha Stewart eat fast food and drink malt liquor. Now, she's a hood nigga who did a year and took a felony to not rat. But she acts real classy. (Also apparently she used to be pretty easy)
Jack pretends he is some one on the level of Alton Brown and chows down on fucking chicken fries, oh I'm sorry firey chicken fries. You know what EVERYONE is talking about... everyone over 400 lbs.

I know some people get super picky on eggs and I know from a family member who's a chef, you might be asked to perfectly do an egg over easy/sunny side etc. To show you can quickly adapt to a burner you never touched etc. But it's shit I know legit kids do fine. Also... all those eggs, I kinda want to watch cool hand Luke. In a non gay way, unlike Jack and his faggot son.

 

[Tiresome]

The wendigo will never let Jack die before he's suffered enough, but the conniptions if Harris wins. President OKAY MAAWWWWMMMMMM.

 

[Super Hans v2]

Seems like he’s looking forward to a visit from the feds

Why couldn't have it been Jack to be shot by the feds over Facebook posts instead of some old guy in Utah?

 

[Aunt Carol]

Why couldn't have it been Jack to be shot by the feds over Facebook posts instead of some old guy in Utah?

...Maybe Jack's been playing the long game all along.

He keeps on speech-to-text fedposting, over and over, in HOPEs they come over and shoot his dog for him.

 

[Randall Fragg]

Loling at Tammy walking onset to put away groceries.

I think that's a baby on the box. Maybe it's baby products? Did Jack Jr. knock up his wife already, or has Jack begun wearing diapers?

 

[Doctor of Autism]

A picture can say a 1000 words, and I am going to be honest, the fucking picture of Jack wearing that Burger King crown feels like everything wrong with Jack in one go

The fact he's a grown stroked out retard wearing a crown meant for children, the fact he is soying out over fast food garbage like a typical American, the random fire bitmoji to make himself seem super cool, and how you can tell he likes the crown because it makes him feel special or important.



I'm looking too deep into it but god damn it just becomes funnier to laugh at each time.

 

[Tiresome]

Loling at Tammy walking onset to put away groceries.
View attachment 6319290
I think that's a baby on the box. Maybe it's baby products? Did Jack Jr. knock up his wife already, or has Jack begun wearing diapers?

They're Member's Mark baby wipes.

You can fucking guess why they need such a big box with no child in the house.

 

[Flonominal88]

What’s the use of the studio kitchen if he’s just going to cook in the main kitchen?

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

They're Member's Mark baby wipes.
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View attachment 6319379
You can fucking guess why they need such a big box with no child in the house.

Now he leaves skid marks around the house like a dog.

 

[Bassomatic]

I think that's a baby on the box. Maybe it's baby products? Did Jack Jr. knock up his wife already, or has Jack begun wearing diapers?

I might not be the smartest peanut in the turd but having your wife fuck you in the ass with a strap on while you beat your dick to re runs Rocket Power can't create a child.

 

[Flonominal88]

A picture can say a 1000 words, and I am going to be honest, the fucking picture of Jack wearing that Burger King crown feels like everything wrong with Jack in one go

The fact he's a grown stroked out retard wearing a crown meant for children, the fact he is soying out over fast food garbage like a typical American, the random fire bitmoji to make himself seem super cool, and how you can tell he likes the crown because it makes him feel special or important.

View attachment 6319355

I'm looking too deep into it but god damn it just becomes funnier to laugh at each time.

Is that a monkeypox sore on his nose?

 

[Doctor of Autism]

They're Member's Mark baby wipes.
View attachment 6319378
View attachment 6319379
You can fucking guess why they need such a big box with no child in the house.

I'd think it was for the pets, but then again Jack literally is on a wheelchair.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Jack just strikes me as such an angry person. He tries to hide it with soy faces and Bitmojis, but that guy is seething every waking moment of his life.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

I'd think it was for the pets, but then again Jack literally is on a wheelchair.

I'm strongly inclined to believe its for Jacks hygiene. He spent a lot of time hiding his inability to drive, his scooter, his increasingly degrading gait. He clearly is embarrassed by his deteriorating ability, and considering how stubborn of a fuck he is, I wouldn't doubt for a second he'd avoid any situation in which he needs to acknowledge it. Its a pretty common coping mechanism to just avoid the things you struggle to do.

Such as Bathing.

I can entirely believe that he's started showering less frequently because dealing with the cripple stool is too embarrassing for him, so he uses baby wipes to try and take the edge off. Its not like he's out doing yardwork or engaging with a real job, aside from his likely vile shits. A wipedown with a baby towel to take the sweat and grime off might superficially seem to get the job done. I doubt either Jack or Tammy have the sense of smell left to really tell the difference at this point, Jacks falling apart and Tammy has to live with him.

 

[Super Hans v2]

Now he leaves skid marks around the house like a dog.

Maybe that's why Tammy paid for a second kitchen. HOPE got locked in the old home's kitchen because they couldn't be fucked to house train the dog, and if Jack can't stop himself from shitting the floor, may as well be where there isn't any carpet.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Everyone who associates with this family is retarded. Holy shit.

In case anyone else here hasn’t read every page of the thread yet, this is a video not to be missed:

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

After reading through some of the more horrific threads here, I like revisiting this one to see Jack's dumb face with the fucking Burger King crown staring back at me. For everything bad about Jack, he mostly hurts himself.

 

[p1138]

Is that a monkeypox sore on his nose?

Nah. It's a mark on his nose from his apple watch. He can't raise his dead arm to do anything with it on his right hand. And he can't swing the dead arm around to tap anything with it. Yes, he boops touch screen devices with his nose.

Someone else mentioned it a while back, but it's like that mark some muslims get due to rubbing their head on the ground a half dozen times a day or whatever. Zebibba or some shit?

 

[ZipDisk]

I miss when Jack still had the energy to get pissed off in a restaurant. Those were the days. I remember when he was yelling about BBQ sauce when they were "on tour" and even Tammy lost her fucking sadistic glee and looked worried.

That was just the best. Fuck party salad, bbq sauce sucking tour was bestjack.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

I'm strongly inclined to believe its for Jacks hygiene. He spent a lot of time hiding his inability to drive, his scooter, his increasingly degrading gait. He clearly is embarrassed by his deteriorating ability, and considering how stubborn of a fuck he is, I wouldn't doubt for a second he'd avoid any situation in which he needs to acknowledge it. Its a pretty common coping mechanism to just avoid the things you struggle to do.

Such as Bathing.

I can entirely believe that he's started showering less frequently because dealing with the cripple stool is too embarrassing for him, so he uses baby wipes to try and take the edge off. Its not like he's out doing yardwork or engaging with a real job, aside from his likely vile shits. A wipedown with a baby towel to take the sweat and grime off might superficially seem to get the job done. I doubt either Jack or Tammy have the sense of smell left to really tell the difference at this point, Jacks falling apart and Tammy has to live with him.

Jack's unwarranted self-pride always gets in the way of making sound decisions. He could have designed his new kitchen with modifications such as a lower countertop and stove which would make it easier for him to continue cooking up his abominations while wheeling around on his motorized chair; this way he would regain the main thing he lost after his last stroke which was mobility. Obviously he didn't even consider this and decided to just keep up appearances by having Tammy help him up and stand in one spot with his enormous gut on the countertop for support.

Another funny thing. Early last year when Jagoff was in the nursing home he shamelessly made boomeroji posts (the happy one with the blowhorn) about how unlike other people at the nursing home his disability was "only temporary". So there is a chance the Scalfatties were simply deluded enough to believe that Jack would be up and waddling around like before by the time the house was finished.