Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[CavewomenDCJ]

Better yet, record it on video so we can all watch you getting tased and beaten by security and laugh at you for being a fucking retard.

No one, including kiwifarms, wants to be associated with some lame sperg loser who tries to pull this kind of nonsense, because they're all like Riley. They're all fat retarded losers who should be fed into a meat processer and turned into pink slime. Don't be that.

It was just a question. Didn't want some autist going there with 10foot mic and recording it while keeping it out of frame just turning recording on phone and leaving it in pocket while trial goes on. And turns out USA has worste courtrooms then Afghanistan so their protection is top notch and that was that.

And most people who will stream about notes taken while going trough the highlites are fucking autistic and have awfull speaking voices. It is not bad enough that you can feel that nassaly autistc voice but they often go on these 5 min long rants about their imagine scenarios what is going to happen. Not only can you hear the autism but you can feel it and only mentaly ill trannies find that amusing. So I asked to see if it could be done so I can listen for myself didn't think it would be such a big deal but then again it is USA where you can charge a cop for arresting a criminal so should have known better.

 

[Ice Gun Ninja]

Name another cow who in a single year managed shit like getting catfished by a dude,

I totally forgot about that. And it didn't even happened a year ago.

 

[Meat Target]

I would even argue that this year, he's beating them at their own games. He's thrown away more money for nothing than BMJ by torpedoing his Youtube career, although the trust fund alleviates that a bit, and he's denying objective reality with "lolno" at least as hard as Fatrick.

BMJ was only in contention because he's Dear Feeder's favorite, and thus got a disproportionate amount of attention.

The 2023 season of the Fatrick Show was a wild ride, but he's bent the knee and paid Quasi in full. He hasn't done much of note. His opportunity for a Julay has passed.

And c'mon, you can't beat a catfishing job 10 years in the making. That is a comedy bit to surpass Apostlegate.

 

[moocow]

And turns out USA has worste courtrooms then Afghanistan

Well no, we have better courtrooms than Afghanistan precisely because we forbid recordings and other disruptions without explicit approval (and importantly, the opportunity for everyone involved to object to it or at least be aware of it). There are legitimate privacy (and safety) reasons not to allow any rando to record everything that goes on in court, including protecting the identities and personal details of victims of violent crimes, of minor children (even in civil cases), etc.

The public has the right to observe, not thoroughly document with comprehensive recording devices. That's the court reporter's job. That's why courts have those.

 

[AltisticRight]

I just got around to listening to the clips from Balldo and Juju's cope session. Juju is such an unfunny worthless faggot and his fake laughs will invoke immense hatred in anyone that's normal. I'm still not sure why anyone ever liked this worthless cretin.

Anyway, I don't intend to comment on their coping and seething about Kiwi Farms. The druggie stuff interests me the most.

Exhibit A: Balldo explaining how drugs got into one of his children.
Balldo was extremely slimey and gross. He specifically said "the state had any inkling that we have given a child cocaine" when all the documents we've seen demonstrates the exact fucking opposite.
This is so slippery, he's stating "a child", not "my child" and claiming that "the state thinks we gave them cocaine" which funnily rules out accidental ingestion or exposure. This guy is such a disgusting fucking weasel.
There's a reason I keep saying "allowing your child to test positive" instead of what probably happened (medicinal quack medicine microdosing or accidental).

Exhibit B: one of the state workers said they don't believe...
So fucking what?
How many times have we seen an entire investigation being derailed because of a crime scene photographer's off-handed uneducated guesses?

Exhibit C: the test
>The state worker tried to lie to us saying false positives on hair follicle tests are impossible.
Nobody would ever fucking say that. It's infeasibly possible but not impossible. This is retarded and an outright lie.
>One of you misread the documents
It's results shown on a fucking screen juju, kill yourself you illiterate oxygen-thieving fag.
>Retested
Bullshit lie again. According to the documents I've posted pertaining to Omega Laboratories' process:

They do a very quick screening test first, and then they perform the full hair follicle test which involves their proprietary sample preparation process.
It's just lies after lies after lies.
Is it possible that something so ironclad like this yields a false positive?
No. If the results show there's cocaine and/or metabolites associated with it, it exists.
Is it possible that samples get mixed up? Yeah, sure. That's not technically a false positive result, it's just an oversight.

@Null
Here Juju says the government won't run the tests again because "they got what they wanted" and Balldo responds with "yeah".
They're once again implicating some grand conspiracy. Let's see the bodycam footage where one of the officers smear cocaine into the victim's hair.
>Fail rate for hair follicle tests for cocaine is 35% across all ages
I'd need a source for that, liar. Also, while it's possible to test for cocaine, usually it's tested for metabolites.
I wonder why he didn't specifically say "cocaine metabolites".
Also, why would any prosecutor rely on a test with over 1/3 fail rates?
>Hair follicle test is racist against Black people
So did Our Wife have a baby with Ricardo and Romaine 9 years ago? What the fuck does this have to with anything?
Metabolism and the chemistry differs slightly from ethnicity, so does hair structure, this might sound somewhat believable but it's not.
It is nothing but another fucking lie. There is no difference, period.

Source: https://www.freightwaves.com/news/study-finds-no-racial-bias-in-hair-testing-drivers-for-drugs

https://archive.md/T3bZX

There was little evidence of a pattern attributable to hair color bias alone or selective binding of drugs to hair of a particular color. Likewise, there was no discernible pattern associated with race or ethnicity that would lend support to a “race effect” in drug analysis.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0379073899001516?via%3Dihub

DOI: 10.1159/000337933
(If anyone's really interested, I'll download a copy and attach it.)
>Juju: they should throw it out
They should throw you into a woodchipper you nonce enabling faggot you can't even pass a high school chemistry exam. Neck.
>Metabolite produced outside of human body
What the fuck are you talking about you schizophrenic retard skeleton freak.
>It's not like I've read 40 scientific papers
And that led you to think metabolites can be produced outside of the human body, Englesh lawage litrature majour hedonist freak.
The guy that's struggling to pronounce benzoylecgonine (ben-zoy-lego-knee), cocaethylene (literally pronounced as it's written) and norcocaine (not nora-cocaine, Nicholas Ralph) is now an expert in biochemistry because he read 40 papers. You do you DarkBalldo8888.
Heavens forbid if your daughter tested positive for cocaethylene, for fuck's sake.
Apparently officer Joshua Moonson performed a vivisection to pluck Balldo's cocaine-poised liver and kept it active in a fucking perfusion chamber or something because benzoylecgonine is being created outside of the human body.
So basically the test found benzoylecgonine in his 8-year-old daughter, which Balldo think is "produced outside of the human body" and therefore?????????? What?
It's produced by the liver and leaves the human body via urine. Does anyone believe he actually misread "by the liver" as "outside of the human body"? This is nothing but a deliberate lie.
Balldo lies like Boogie2988. He should fucking die too.

Lies, lies and lies
Lots of lies, more and more lies.
All Balldo does is fucking lie.

 

[Gorton Colu]

Juju and Ralph would still take him for how utterly based they would think it was to fuck over a woman like that would be.

I agree mostly, but having Nick hang out with JuJu on his show frequently would probably backfire.

Daxipad cannot handle consistent alog attention. He survives by being too boring.

 

[he who has thus come/gone]

2. My reading of this (again this is MN law) is that April and Nick can subsequently withdraw their plea deals.

"Fair and just" is usually a pretty strong standard for withdrawal of a plea deal. It will depend on Minnesota case law, but usually it's for when there's something like newly discovered exculpatory evidence, ineffective assistance of counsel, or misconduct by a prosecutor. I don't see how Nick could forward a legitimate argument for withdrawing an accepted plea deal after the fact unless it's discovered that the police air dropped the ounce of cocaine through his chimney.

 

[Fapcop]

Lies, lies and lies
Lots of lies, more and more lies.
All Balldo does is fucking lie.

You know what’s weird?

Not degenerate-weird like my desire to turn Kayla into a godly woman and Fapcop Wife, nor Rekieta’s “weird” which is basically a shorthand for seething. But good old fashioned “THIS DONT MAKE NO SENSE”-weird?

The kids are, supposedly, at home full time and under Rekieta’s custody, no?

So there’s nothing that prevents him from retesting the hair at his own expense, and show the results to his fans on stream to own us all.

Yet he hasn’t. That’s weird!

 

[he who has thus come/gone]

He also looks sleep depraved too, imagine a crazed, sleep depraved and drunk Ralph trying to get inside the courthouse.

I still don't understand how Ralph is going to get there and back. A rental car for just one day costs about $200, plus there's a deposit of a few hundred dollars required. He barely has any money and has atrocious credit. It's a 4 to 5 hour bus ride from Minneapolis to Willmar, and costs around $50 (depending on the line). He needs to pay for a motel, food, and other basic necessities while travelling. His plan requires no delays or problems with multiple flights and travel lines. It'll be a miracle if he can even get there on time within his meagre budget. And he's already threatened to stab people at the courthouse, so I wouldn't be surprised if he's confronted by security if he actually gets there.

So there’s nothing that prevents him from retesting the hair at his own expense, and show the results to his fans on stream to own us all.

He can't even pay for his multiple traffic tickets or for the fees awarded to Monty in the appeal. Do you really think he has the spare cash to get a rush job on an official cocaine hair test? Plus, of course, there's the great likelihood that it would be meaningless because the kid actually had cocaine in their system.

 

[AltisticRight]

He can't even pay for his multiple traffic tickets or for the fees awarded to Monty in the appeal.

Paymonty.lol
paymnstate.kek

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

A rental car for just one day costs about $200, plus there's a deposit of a few hundred dollars required

Ralph cannot rent a car, he has neither a license (hasn't had one since before moving to mexico), and now no passport. He will either have to take a taxi (does sandra still have an uber account he can use), or ride the bus. Currently he is a xanny zombie in the airport bar as he showed up >24hours for his flight accidentally, I'm sure he'll get there. He's convinced himself that somehow just getting to the courthouse is a huge epic win against that evil Dox Moon.

 

[Meat Target]

I still don't understand how Ralph is going to get there and back. A rental car for just one day costs about $200, plus there's a deposit of a few hundred dollars required.

Didn't El Gunto run off to Mexico to avoid arrest warrants or something like that?

 

[UCantCCPMe]

He can't even pay for his multiple traffic tickets or for the fees awarded to Monty in the appeal. Do you really think he has the spare cash to get a rush job on an official cocaine hair test? Plus, of course, there's the great likelihood that it would be meaningless because the kid actually had cocaine in their system.

It's less like can't and more like refuses to. Nick's ego is such that he doesn't believe he needs to pay citations and judgements. Paying traffic tickets is for the peasantry that doesn't have an internet show, making thousands watching Johnny Depp and Kyle Rittenhouse. As for that Monty boomer. Tell him to send Agent 47 (or whatever the fuck his name was) to collect it from him personally or do a fuckin flip old man.

 

[he who has thus come/gone]

He will either have to take a taxi (does sandra still have an uber account he can use), or ride the bus.

An Uber, assuming he could even find one willing to drive the 100 miles out there, costs over $150. It's a 100 mile drive. If he could find Uber rides in both directions, that's over $300 on its own. It'll take real retard magic to get there successfully.

 

[George Lucas]

A lot of retarded takes in this thread. Let’s set the record straight.

1. Nick’s lawyers and the DA have already worked out a deal. Nick will get a slap on the wrist after a guilty plea.

2. The omnibus hearing will not have anything interesting beyond the mass of retards attending it. Nick won’t say a word. It will all be between the lawyers and the judge. Most of it will be procedural theater that Kiwitards will misinterpret as being ‘bullshit rigging’ when it’s actually all just stuff every competent lawyer goes through before getting to trial. And remember the lawyers have the deal to fall back on so there really isn’t going to be anything surprising or unexpected at this point.

Remember kids, lawyers hate going to trial and they will work out anyway they can to get out of it.

3. 99% of the retards on this thread who say they will show up and take notes won’t bother to show up, and the ones that do show up will leave once they realize how fucking boring this is.

 

[Flatsfag]

You should dress conservatively and behave respectfully in the courthouse if you attend.

Baldo will probably be less groomed then the Kiwis who show up to watch him tell the judge why Muh Keeds Need They Coke Daddy, Hot Whore, and Swinger Momma

 

[Botchy Galoop]

It seems like the more time Nick spent online drinking, the more their relationship probably suffered, to the point where she started eating pills and abandoning her duties as a wife and a mother.

I think that scenario is pretty accurate, my only qualm would be the order in which everything became unhinged for the Rekieta family. Which came first the Balldo or the egg?

Spoiler: Fanfic

I posit that it is just as likely that it was Kayla that started the ball rolling. After 3 miscarriages, 5 livebirths, she became physically and mentally broken. Add to that, the stress of being expected to manage the household, home-school and present a put-together picture of the happy, successful, Christian Family, while her partner sat in the basement, drinking and flirting and generally yucking it up with thousands of adoring fans. It became too much for her and she told Nick that she was done. That was the "worst day".
I can almost hear the argument:
"I have destroyed my body giving you children and keeping your home, while you were never a full partner." "You were always working, then you were going to law school." "You always told me that we both had to make sacrifices, then you started this Youtube shit, and I totally lost you as a husband and a partner and the children lost their father." "What happened to us, Nick?"
The totally passive-aggressive tattoo 'I Will Be Us' was born. That will show her, Nick

Of course, none of this matters one whit. They both had pre-existing, unaddressed, personality disorders. What does matter is that hubristic pride seems to have made it impossible for Nick or Kayla to ask for and seek outside help. They were apparently more concerned about continuing to present to the world a facade of the model family. Trad Mom and Chad dad with a quiverfull of beautiful children.

This type of fanfic could be similarly crafted to offer as some of the mitigating factors offered while pleading to their CPS and criminal case. I can see Kayla gladly confessing to her part in the downfall and attempting to shoulder the bulk of the blame for the spiral. She can continue to be "fragile" and take her assortment of pills meant to "cure" her. and Nick can play the part of the overwhelmed husband and father who was just trying his best to hold the family together while he misguidedly kept the secret that Kayla was kookoo. He turned to drugs so he could be "superdad". He has learned his lesson. He will do better, Your Honor.
Probation and a Fine, mandatory drug counseling imposed. Court Dismissed.
(never mind about the wife swapping, cocaine is a hell of a drug)

 

[Gas Station Nachos]

3. 99% of the retards on this thread who say they will show up and take notes won’t bother to show up, and the ones that do show up will leave once they realize how fucking boring this is.

It reminds me of when DSP had his bankruptcy hearing. He'd blatantly lied about his finances and if people had left the court alone there's a chance this would have been detected but because the whole Internet turned up and spouted memes the judge more or less decided to let Phil off just to fuck with them.

Someone once observed that 'a judge will decide who the asshole in the room is and find some way to rule against them'. The interesting corollary of this is that if you have an open hearing and severely autistic people call in and spout memes that effectively guarantees the lolcow on trial will get the most lenient treatment possible.

 

[AltisticRight]

Ralph cannot rent a car, he has neither a license (hasn't had one since before moving to mexico), and now no passport. He will either have to take a taxi (does sandra still have an uber account he can use), or ride the bus. Currently he is a xanny zombie in the airport bar as he showed up >24hours for his flight accidentally, I'm sure he'll get there. He's convinced himself that somehow just getting to the courthouse is a huge epic win against that evil Dox Moon.

>Your honour
>Excuse me Mr. Rekieta, before we begin, I have some documents for that short, rotund and smelly pig over there with a gay NY hat and fed shirt, quadruple titties protruding, borderline in contempt of the court
>Hi Mr. Ralph, you have been served. These are papers from Mr. Morris and Mr. Vickers

 

[AncientPhosphur]

He also looks sleep depraved too, imagine a crazed, sleep depraved and drunk Ralph trying to get inside the courthouse.

Yeah that’s going to be great to see in person. Ralph is going to be a complete mess and paranoid about who’s a farmer and who isn’t. Anyone could be taking his photo and laughing at him. Every sneer or disgust look on people’s face in that town can be misinterpreted as a look of Kiwi shame. I’m sure he’s going to have some insane pilled out tweets where he makes up a scenario in his head confronting a kiwi farmer he encounters (normal person disgusted with him) and Ralph was a badass (walked away sheepishly)