🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

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Will the "MMA" fight between Gabe Hoffman and Ethan Ralph 🐷 happen?

  • YES!

    Votes: 26 7.2%

  • lol no

    Votes: 333 92.8%
  • Total voters
    359
God, if I caught myself making videos boasting about the coiled grey turd sat atop my huge, receding-hairline melonhead from some e-boy's living room, trying to compete with a literal terminal cancer patient while all of my friends and family have abandoned me, I would simply end it.
 
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AltisticRight said:
Did he post anything yet?
No proof of life and no proof of location.
Uh oh ralphabros it looks like he's dead. I repeat, the piggy with quadruple titties and a bifurcated gunt is dead.
Time to shut the subforum down. Enjoy the family reunion in Hell.
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I'm here in the parking lot waiting for him. We've got at least 7 guys hiding with measuring sticks! The SuperSoakers are full of piss, Ralph! We're gonna tussle your piss-drenched hair after we pull your pants down, Ethan!
 
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AltisticRight said:
Did he post anything yet?
No proof of life and no proof of location.
Uh oh ralphabros it looks like he's dead. I repeat, the piggy with quadruple titties and a bifurcated gunt is dead.
Time to shut the subforum down. Enjoy the family reunion in Hell.
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He's probably completely wasted right now. Court's at 10:30, there's no way he'll make it if he's boozed and xannied up right now. He's gonna end up sleeping right through it.
 
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This is posted at 10:55 AM (my current timezone), but he is still hollering really hard about the ayylawgs from Kiwi Farms and Josh.
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NaggotFigger said:
This is posted at 10:55 AM (my current timezone), but he is still hollering really hard about the ayylawgs from Kiwi Farms and Josh.
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This coming from the fat midget who has skin like Freddie Kruger is a bit rich. Especially as he uses a black and white filter to hide his skin and wears sunglasses to hide his deranged eyes he received from one of many beat downs. Really makes you think.
 
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Nate Higgers said:
What I’m wondering is: did Ralph abandon his cat again, leaving her at home with a “FOOD MOUNTAIN” so he can travel the longest route possible to Minnesota just to own the keewee farmur aylawgs?

Poor Cleo.
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everyone knows cats don't fold to bullshit, gaylawg!
 
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NaggotFigger said:
This is posted at 10:55 AM (my current timezone), but he is still hollering really hard about the ayylawgs from Kiwi Farms and Josh.
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Does this greasy piggy with quadruple titties look like he washed in the past 72 hours?
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Does this look like the attire for court hearings? You're too much of a pussy itty bitty little bifurcated gunted piggy to enter the courthouse.
At least put on a collared shirt and get a pair of fitting jeans with a belt, yeah, piggy? Can't afford it? Get your paypig Michael Farrell to buy you a pair.
I bet his plan is to claim he was denied entry by the conspiring powers of Kandiyohi.
1724228371088.png1724228649624.png

The pastor, the judges, the police, the lawyers and the social workers are conspiring against a skeletal druggie freak who allowed his daughter to test positive for cocaine &/or associated metabolites. They're denying entry of ESTEEMED GAMERGATE JOURNALIST Ethan Ralph of theralphretort.com.
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Oh...
 
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genericwhitemale said:
It'll be like Flight when he has to do all the cocaine because he got drunk the night before his hearing.
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Ralph can’t afford cocaine, and his “friend” LOOOOYAL REKIETA isn’t gonna risk blowing his trial to give Ralph a couple toots from his secret stash that Rekieta totally doesn’t have. You know, the nonexistent secret stash that Rekieta definitely wouldn’t still keep around in order to make April still put in with Nick’s bullshit, the fictional secret stash that is the only thing that keeps April coming back for more shallow plunges from the balldo.

Ralph would dry snitch about that nonexistent Rekieta secret coke stash in an instant.
 
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AltisticRight said:
ESTEEMED GAMERGATE JOURNALIST Ethan Ralph of theralphretort.com.
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Oh...
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The fact that he hasn't addressed the suspension of his blog tells you all you need to know. He's ashamed and embarrassed and can't find a way to spin this as some kind of W, so he pretends it didn't happen. Does he still introduce himself as the "owner and editor in chief of theralphretort.com" at the start of his show, or has he quietly dropped it?
 
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