Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

The one nice thing about moving to the middle of nowhere is that the reesome threesome no longer shares walls with anybody.

Imagine the joy of their Brooklyn neighbors when they saw the moving van taking away Joe's fermentation supplies. They should tip the landlord for raising the Laverys' rent.
Holy shit, I missed that they moved. The state of their finances must be worse than I imagined, but at least the neighbors were spared.

Once again trying to staple himself to Rowling's coat tail, failtroll tries biting ankles as always when no one notices.
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Eventually, he draws two whole responses.
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Grace Lavery
@graceelavery
15h
question for any terfs who still follow me: do you think that when you claim someone who presents as a woman, "is a man," are you stating a fact or offering an opinion? asking for a friend (JK Rowling)
3:28 PM · Aug 20, 2024 2,691 Views [37 likes, 1 retweet]

Grace Lavery
@graceelavery
15h
you can construe "someone who presents as a woman" however suits you best: someone competing in a "woman's" class in a sporting competition; someone you think is a man in the women's toilets; a trans woman who discloses herself as such and asserts that trans women are women, etc.
[11 likes, 1 retweet]

Grace Lavery
@graceelavery
15h
nobody? cowards. let's spell it out.

if "fact," then Rowling is open to a libel suit, as is anyone else who makes such a claim falsely.

if "opinion," then you are acknowledging that sex is not, as you always claim, self-evident; that you cannot, in fact, always tell.
[18 likes, no retweets]

annikusrex
@annikusrex
14h
i think they think it is a factual claim (=male bc a sex word). but they know other people differ on this usage. so it is mixed fact and opinion. did rowling really say this re khelif?

Jan Kuitenbrouwer
@kuitenbrouwer
14h
Oh, girl, boy, whatever. Get A Life.
I sometimes wonder what annikusrex's endgame is and why Joe will entertain her points in a way he doesn't those of others. She can't possibly think that she's going to change his mind, and Joe's ego is so fragile that I'm surprised he doesn't see her commentary as an insult. He doesn't seem to realize that she usually makes much more cogent points than he does.
 
Debate me C̶h̶r̶i̶s̶t̶i̶a̶n̶s̶ Terfs.
For i will defend these fair transgender maidens and entangle you in web of p̶h̶a̶l̶l̶u̶s̶e̶s̶ fallacies so insidious that you may never presume to show your face here again.

While you were busy living your comfortable little lives I had studied the art of logic at the foot of the great masters until I had bested them as well. FEAR ME MORTAL for I can deconstruct any argument into its meaningless component parts thus proving the futility of everything that is.

For even as you accurately describe me as a melting waxwork, failed academic, talentless author and hideous mutant freak married to an embarrassment those words merely bounce off my epistemological shield. For I know they have no intrinsic value, for true language is impossible.


ʲᵏ ʳᵒʷˡⁱⁿᵍ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ʳᵉˢᵖᵒⁿᵈ...
 
The father of Rocco craving boys . . .
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Grace Lavery
@graceelavery
19h

Nothing challenges my reflexive belief in universal bisexuality more than when @lilywoodruff talks about attractive men. Lee Pace “just looks like a regular guy.” Frank Sinatra “not attractive… disappointing.” Timothee Chalamet, on the other hand, “obviously incredibly sexy.”

Dr. The unified self is just my MacGuffin.
@GregCfollows
18h

I blame the TERFs for having us need to focus on defending Trans folk, for the culture forgetting the simple charm of androgyny.

Grace Lavery
@graceelavery
18h

i mean absolutely no shade to Timmy—I remember going absolutely bald for his Troye Sivan impersonation, eg.
 
This is crazy to me. Mallory destroyed her life. She's made herself near unbookable as a mainstream media figure. This guy posting their post-coital pics etc like basically destroyed her credibility with most of the public. It's all designed to humiliate her. If she leaves now she can probably get a "rebuilding my life after trauma" interview with Oprah. But if she stays on this path she will be unemployable and alienate more of her audience.

These other nuts have tenure; she's the vulnerable one even though she's probably made more money than they have overall.

I cannot believe she got a massive nearly $500k payout from Substack and ~2 years later was working at what sounds like a nursing home. This is straight-up abuse. She is getting humiliated and robbed and doesn't seem to care. They locked her out of the house at least once. And she was REALLY successful for a writer. Not a history-making avant garde writer by any means but a lot of people liked her stuff. How the fuck did she end up in this position?

Mallory also is so in love with that baby but has also called him/babies in general "it" a couple times in her social media posts. All of these people are a g-d mess. That poor baby. And Mallory is going to end up cut off from that baby and homeless before long if she's not carefull. What the actual fuck? My sister used to read the Toast all the time. What the fuck happened to Ortberg?
 
What the fuck happened to Ortberg?
Simple, she gave her life and decision making power to a narcissistic, attention hungry husband. Common enough.

She seemed to suffer a severe crisis of confidence and identity in her 30’s. Nicole folding her dream job at The Toast seemed to put her on a collision course with a reality that she didn’t enjoy.

She’s like the extreme leftie version of a an obedient Mormon sister wife. Mallory put a facade of mocking the patriarchy for a decade, but she really just wanted some asshole to put her in her place and tell her what to do
 
Simple, she gave her life and decision making power to a narcissistic, attention hungry husband. Common enough.

She seemed to suffer a severe crisis of confidence and identity in her 30’s. Nicole folding her dream job at The Toast seemed to put her on a collision course with a reality that she didn’t enjoy.

She’s like the extreme leftie version of a an obedient Mormon sister wife. Mallory put a facade of mocking the patriarchy for a decade, but she really just wanted some asshole to put her in her place and tell her what to do
Maybe she's one of those people who'll do anything for attention. If "smash the patriarchy" was what it took to get views (and her co-founder was into it) maybe she just went along. She met a predatory pervert and also is going along with whatever he wants.

I have a family member who was a fat activist in college, talking about how happy they were to be "soft" and "squishy." Then they met a fit person and started going to the gym all the time. Maybe Ortberg is like that just with far higher stakes.
 
I'm more inclined to believe Berkeley doesn't want him back and gets in touch as rarely as possible.

Once they can lock the gates forever - whether by dint of some investigation they may have had running when he got the urge to flee or by dint of his blowing the mandatory return from sabbatical deadline - they can see about recovering some of the $90k+ he owes them.
Is UCB likely to terminate him?
 
Is UCB likely to terminate him?

Their personnel guidance seems to say that if he doesn't return to teach within a year of his sabbatical's end he will be terminated, yes - and have to give back what they paid him during the sabbatical year.

Question is when does Joe's unpaid post-sabbatical year conclude? It would seem like the ax might fall on December 31, 2024.

But if he was allowed to add another type of leave onto the sabbatical, like family/health leave for Rocco's birth or one type of unpaid leave or another, he might be able to dawdle around into 2025 without returning to teach.
 
Somewhat hard not to mock him on Twitter about this just to see how he'd try to spin it.
I constantly fight the urge to poke the beast there because he's so gross and ridiculous. But I refrain, better to talk shit about him here rather than engage on X.
I sometimes wonder what annikusrex's endgame is and why Joe will entertain her points in a way he doesn't those of others

It really is interesting how Joe entertains Annikusrex's questionings, She's often astute but seems young and maybe Joe does have a teacherly patience with her. She's always polite when she (slightly) challenges Joe. Maybe she's autistic or something.
 
This is crazy to me. Mallory destroyed her life. She's made herself near unbookable as a mainstream media figure. This guy posting their post-coital pics etc like basically destroyed her credibility with most of the public. It's all designed to humiliate her. If she leaves now she can probably get a "rebuilding my life after trauma" interview with Oprah. But if she stays on this path she will be unemployable and alienate more of her audience.

She destroyed her own audience. She was building one with the Toast, was able to keep riding that success with Texts From Jane Eyre. Frankly, if she'd come out with Women's Hotel in 2020, it probably would have done fairly well for her. But instead, she published a troon-out memoir (which, I guess back then it wasn't as clear that there's relatively little marketshare for those), took on a decreasinly sensible run on the Dear Prudence column, and delivered very little on her Substack. If she'd kept up her output, produced books and essays that her audience was interested in reading, the fist-in-mouth pics wouldn't have been what she was known for, the way she is now. (Also, I just googled Mallory Ortberg, and of the four 'People Also Search For' names there was Grace Lavery, John Ortberg, Nicole Cliffe and Lily Woodruff. The only one of the four who could be considered any sort of 'literary peer' was Nicole, and she's been quiet online for a while. In the general public's mind, she's not known for being an author anymore, she's known for being part of the Lavery Throuple.)

I assume at this point she sort of knows that Women's Hotel isn't 'the first novel from acclaimed writer Mallory Ortberg', it's 'Trans Man Wrote Thing, Please Clap.' She's hoping it's going to move her back toward writing success. I'm pretty sure that for a long time, she was figuring on being able to write the story of her brother's sex crimes and how the church and her father helped cover them up. And when the investigations kept turning up nothing, and it became clear that while her father had made a bad call for understandable reasons, there wasn't going to be enough of a story to actually tell. (Which is why she kept signal-boosting that obviously crazy chick who claimed she was raped by Pastor Ortberg - she wants there to be a terrible crime to write about, and needs to have blown up her family and her relationship with them for a legitimately good reason rather than jumping the gun because Joe pushed her into it.)
 
The one thing that is crystal clear about Mallory is she was absolutely unprepared for life, and the people, outside of the upper-middle class, educated, bubble and started idealizing anyone outside the privileged bubble. A nominally intelligent woman learns to spot a creepy, manipulative fraud like Joe by age 25, even if the academic credentials could throw them off at first.

I try to have some sympathy for Mallory. Smart people with BPD can be incredibly fun and exhilarating to be around at first, esp with the love bombing. It’s recognizing the other side of the coin in time. I think Mallory was in way too deep before she sensed the trap. Now she’s the “everything is fine” meme as she lives as an indentured servant to her husband’s new family.
You realize that she once got married as a joke, then was shocked when it turned out there were legal consequences for that?
Were we aware of Tard Baby’s starter marriage?

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I was married to a friend of a friend in Christian college for nine days and six months because we kept daring each other on a night out

the nine days was for the joke but the six months was because the state of California made us wait before granting the divorce to make sure we thought it through

Prop 8 had just passed so the vibe was very much "can you BELIEVE we could just GET MARRIED because you're a BOY and I'm a GIRL," which was the style at the etc

also we both had girlfriends at the time and mine thought it was kind of funny and his did not. It was not worth the administrative hassle nor upsetting two very nice girlfriends!
This isn't something that just happens because you're naive and impressionable. This is act of outrageous stupidity that can only be accomplished by someone who thinks they're too good for normie concepts like "common sense".

It's human nature to try to find a 'good guy' in a story, but these are lolcows you're dealing with. If they could learn from their mistakes and grow as people, they wouldn't have a 300+ page thread.

There is only one sympathetic character in this story:
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Kid: as soon as you can, run.
 
Cooking with Joe.
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Danny wanted to eat a steak this week so I made this, steak au poivre, (heavily) adapted from sexy Jeremy Chan’s wonderful cookbook IKOJI.

First I made a little dressing of apple cider vinegar, carrots brunoisés, pink peppercorns, capers, salt, and sugar—ideally this would have been properly fermented but I only had time for a fridge pickle. I prepared some quinoa by boiling it, then dehydrating it for a few hours, then puffing it up in rice bran oil. I plated a leaf of romaine (so good with steak!) and slices of Asian pear, then dressed them with the frizzled quinoa and relish.

The real revelation was the au poivre sauce, which was made not from a roue or even from a deglazed pan, but from—check it—PARSNIPS. I peeled and softened a bunch of parsnips, put them into a food processor until they were thoroughly whipped, then sautéed them in a pan with butter and fat I’d rendered from the steaks. When they had taken some color I added chopped garlic, and then ground up five types of peppercorn (black, white, timut, dak song, and sichuan) in a pestle and mortar, and added that to the mix. Lastly, I tied up a couple of tonka beans in cheesecloth, and added those to the mix. I stirred all of these around until it had the consistency of lumpy mashed potato, then added the better part of a bottle of (non-alcoholic) wine, and most of a thing of beef stock. I stirred around the mixture until it had reduced heavily—an hour or so—then passed the result through a tamis, seasoned once again, and laid on the bottom of the plates, just like a steak au poivre sauce. Truly exceptional plate of food. (Chan uses Jerusalem artichokes, rather than parsnips, and way more interesting peppers than were easily available at a midwestern Whole Foods.)

Salted and grilled the steaks; roast a couple of poblano peppers and put them on the steak. Steak au poivre and a side salad. One of the best things I’ve ever cooked—up there with the ‘pineapple soup and smoked trout’ I knocked up from scratch earlier in the summer, and a plate of ‘apples, celery, and sobacha dashi” I made for dear friends last year.

Step by step:

First I made a little dressing of apple cider vinegar, carrots brunoisés, pink peppercorns, capers, salt, and sugar—ideally this would have been properly fermented but I only had time for a fridge pickle.
brunoise.jpeg
Love how this prick with the worst knife skills in the fucking galaxy deigns to educate us on the precise cut he uses for his ugly chopped carrots sprinkled over wildly irregular slices of pear. :story:
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I prepared some quinoa by boiling it, then dehydrating it for a few hours, then puffing it up in rice bran oil. I plated a leaf of romaine (so good with steak!) and slices of Asian pear, then dressed them with the frizzled quinoa and relish.
Look how he made an entire gargantuan platter of "frizzled quinoa" to use a tablespoon of it. Hope you had fun cleaning up all that splattered rice bran oil, Mallory!
456483495_18451208359029726_1528973330587045746_n.jpg
Screenshot 2024-08-23 224616.png

The real revelation was the au poivre sauce, which was made not from a roue or even from a deglazed pan, but from—check it—PARSNIPS. I peeled and softened a bunch of parsnips, put them into a food processor until they were thoroughly whipped, then sautéed them in a pan with butter and fat I’d rendered from the steaks. When they had taken some color I added chopped garlic, and then ground up five types of peppercorn (black, white, timut, dak song, and sichuan) in a pestle and mortar, and added that to the mix. Lastly, I tied up a couple of tonka beans in cheesecloth, and added those to the mix. I stirred all of these around until it had the consistency of lumpy mashed potato, then added the better part of a bottle of (non-alcoholic) wine, and most of a thing of beef stock. I stirred around the mixture until it had reduced heavily—an hour or so—then passed the result through a tamis, seasoned once again, and laid on the bottom of the plates, just like a steak au poivre sauce. Truly exceptional plate of food.
OK so he:
  1. Softens parsnips in a saute pan
  2. Purees them in a food processor
  3. THEN fries the fucking puree until it "takes some color" DICKHEAD JUST BROWN THE FUCKING PARSNIPS IN STEP 1!!!
  4. Adds $40 worth of rare peppercorns and tonka beans
  5. Slops in a liter or more of liquid in the form of "non-alcoholic" [X] wine and canned beef stock
  6. Boils that shit until it's """""reduced heavily"""" and strains it.
It has the consistency of water. How can you even eat this off of a plate?:
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So Mallory wanted a steak and instead she gets...this. A flood of parsnip-wine water, a dry leaf of Romaine ("So good with steak!" -Joe), a completely wrecked kitchen, and a piece of beef that is an absolute afterthought to the Queen Chef's three molecules of frizzled quinoa. You know that steak was cooked like shit.

"Truly exceptional plate of food." -Joe
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Truly exceptional indeed.
 
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What the fuck is with the random salad leaf? And no, I'm not enjoying a random romaine salad leaf with my steak, I'd like to enjoy an actual salad with romaine with my steak.

Also, tasty poop on a platter. If Joe hadn't kept his dick, I would've guessed he shat it out of a fistula.
 
What the fuck is with the random salad leaf? And no, I'm not enjoying a random romaine salad leaf with my steak, I'd like to enjoy an actual salad with romaine with my steak.

Also, tasty poop on a platter. If Joe hadn't kept his dick, I would've guessed he shat it out of a fistula.
If you don't like the single leaf of dry Romaine served alongside a sloshing plate of liquid norovirus diarrhea, then perhaps I can tempt you with a single leaf of dry raddicchio filled with a handful of dry arugula from Joe's Easter lunch?
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If you don't like the single leaf of dry Romaine served alongside a sloshing plate of liquid norovirus diarrhea, then perhaps I can tempt you with a single leaf of dry raddicchio filled with a handful of dry arugula from Joe's Easter lunch?
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This sort of assholeism enrages me.

You're eating at home, asshole! No need to try and plate it beyond fancy!!!

Thinking about it... could this be Joe's way out of academia - becoming a "master chef"? I'd love for the polycule to appear on Gordon Ramsay.
 
So Mallory wanted a steak and instead she gets...
...what she fucking deserves. As usual.
Tonka beans have been used in French food (and perfume) for ages, but they are fucking banned in the US by the FDA because they contain the toxin coumarin, which is used to make warfarin, aka the poison that makes rats bleed out from all their holes. Exactly the kind of thing I'd want around with an infant in the house.
Welp at least now we know how they are all going to die. Miss Marple, take note.
 
That baby is adorable. I see no trace of Joe in his face at all.

As for Malls, I stopped feeling sorry for her after Dear Prudence. She seems like a raging narc and all around terrible person. I don't think she's being abused either. I saw them together in the East Bay years ago (newly masc, pre-transition) and she was the one with the forceful personality. Wishing to be dominated isn't uncommon for accomplished, controlling types. (Formerly accomplished in her case.)
 
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