Dustborn - The Latest and Biggest DEI Flop to Date that No One Asked for!

[Shao Khan]

I'm 30 minutes into a walkthrough

why are you watching this shit?

 

[Sniperwoof]

Has anyone actually played it? What is it about? I take it is a traveling band but what is the setting? What is the lore?

It's alt history where Jackie O was shot instead and martial law were declared turning the U.S into a fascist Christian theocracy somehow. Also the East coast is underwater because of climate change.

Our cast have superpowers that are all fucking worthless like gaslighting or having their body parts turn to stone if they start singing.

Despite having the most unless superpowers in existence and being absolutely no threat they are pursued by evil agents of the government called the Puritans.

There's also some vague insinuation that the evil government kills blacks and faggots too in addition to mutants or whatever but this is never portrayed in game.

Also much like the recent Saints Row reboot our quirky cast of blacks, faggots, and troons do actual criminal shit like robbing banks so the authorities have an actual reason for hunting them down but again this is never acknowledged in game.

Faggot Mcgee and his retarded three also have a band that is so closely reminiscent of Fang's band from Volcano High that they could probably allege plagiarism.

 

[The Ugly One]

Norwegians making a game about strong & independent American negresses fighting off American hillbillies is absolutely hilarious. How pathetic do you have to be to grovel and beg for headpats from another country's cultural elite like that? Imagine any American, even the worst libtard, caring at all what Norwegians thought.

 

[Jerri's Kid]

I really liked The Longest Journey but it was inevitable for Ragnar to go completely off the rails, his games have been deteriorating in quality release after release and the writing was on the wall when he made a previously straight character come out as gay.

I'm not surprised by this either, but it still hurts. The Longest Journey is one of my favorite point-and-click adventure games, but Dreamfall was not nearly as good and Dreamfall: Chapters was a complete shitshow with heavy-handed politics and boring Telltale "gameplay" instead of puzzles. The Secret World also had great lore and atmosphere but it was unfortunately wrapped in a shitty MMO package.

I'll have to put Ragnar into the dustbin with Stephen Colbert now.

 

[Jerri's Kid]

Are we sure this isn't satire of some kind?

Nah, Ragnar lost his mind a long time ago when Gamergate happened and it's been a downhill slope from there. The people who post on the forums for Red Thread Games are just as obnoxious as the RetardEra users.

 

[Stratorroz]

They dropped the absolute banger of a soundtrack.

Only a true genius would rhyme the word "born(e)" three times with itself and also rhyme "newborn" with "new porn." Enjoy other songs like "Escaping the Gig Grind" and "Influence Apocalypse!" Are you feeling it, fellow kids!

I love the vacant stare this thing is giving:

 

[Dysnomia]

I'm spoilering these character bios, but keep in mind most of them are "thirty-somethings."

Spoiler: The web designer slapped "The Crew" over it and I can't be bothered to use Inspect Element or my blocker.

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So the fatty can alter her size but she still chooses to be fat?

It's alt history where Jackie O was shot instead and martial law were declared turning the U.S into a fascist Christian theocracy somehow. Also the East coast is underwater because of climate change.

Whoever wrote this plot has mental retardation. I have a very hard time believing that the US would be under martial law from 1963-2030 because Jackie got shot instead.

 

[moocow]

a Moonman game with minigames about hanging darkies or some shit

Yeah but that actually sounds fun. And at least the costumes are funnier.

 

[invisibult plus+]

"Climate change" is such a bullshit excuse. You can tell they're kissing up to west coast urbanites because by their logic, if much of the east coast goes, the west goes too. I found what I believe is the reference they used for the map. They just took most of the east coast indications literally, despite them being marked by county, while leaving the west mostly intact. It's hard to buy differing elevation levels when they're skewed like this.

 

[Dysnomia]

"Climate change" is such a bullshit excuse. You can tell they're kissing up to west coast urbanites because by their logic, if much of the east coast goes, the west goes too. I found what I believe is the reference they used for the map. They just took most of the east coast indications literally, despite them being marked by county, while leaving the west mostly intact. It's hard to buy differing elevation levels when they're skewed like this.
View attachment 6337533

I have read before a few times that Florida is pretty much destined to be mostly under water in a few thousand. Some models make it become a chain of small islands. I think the Big One will hit Cali long before that. And it too would break up into islands, right? The whole thing about it just sinking as big chunks and that's that is supposed to be 100% incorrect.

Leaving Cali out seems retarded. I know it's just a game. But it's already got so many other strikes against it. They can't even read the article attached to the fucking map.

 

[faint horizons]

Yeah but that actually sounds fun. And at least the costumes are funnier.

It sounds fun when people who actually believe in it make it. You can feel the lack of soul if EA made a Moonman game compared to a Moonman doom mod or something of the sort made by some schizophrenic NEET in his mom's crackshack.

 

[Xarpho's Return]

How is Fat and Splotchy disabled again? Is her disability just being a woman of calories?

Anyway, the thing that's most upsetting to a borderline autist like me is how crummy the roadway system is presented. If there was still a "road culture" in this alternative universe the Interstates would've been at least partially completed (the urban ones were completed last), and if the United States was so fragmented and lawless in parts they sure as shit wouldn't be driving on smooth asphalt.

If there was a highway system that evolved anywhere close to an Interstate there would be the requisite small clusters of gas stations, modern restaurants (not stereotypical 1950s diners--those never really caught on beyond the East Coast anyway), motels, and so forth. The older highway system went directly through small towns (and trying to get somewhere fast would mean you probably would want to stay off those small roads barring no other option). And of course, in all of these dystopian works everyone forgets that logistics and utilities will still magically work the same way.

Of course, the bad presentation of our nation's highways by some European developers who apparently have never looked at Street View (the opposite of SCS Software, a European developer who DID), that's just a tiny little part of some exceptionally bad worldbuilding. The whole "abandoned towns with foes in Mad Max-style bondage gear" has enough issues as-is before you start introducing robots and aliens.

 

[Radola Gajda]

Good to see EU is spending taxpayers money on stuff that really matters . /Sneed

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

I'm not surprised by this either, but it still hurts. The Longest Journey is one of my favorite point-and-click adventure games, but Dreamfall was not nearly as good and Dreamfall: Chapters was a complete shitshow with heavy-handed politics and boring Telltale "gameplay" instead of puzzles. The Secret World also had great lore and atmosphere but it was unfortunately wrapped in a shitty MMO package.

I'll have to put Ragnar into the dustbin with Stephen Colbert now.

Oh it hurts to read. I liked TLJ so much and while I could at least understand Dreamfall trying to do too much shit. I quit midway through Chapters because it went deep and retarded with its politics. I think the breaking straw was having a death camp for magicians which was too much. Not to mention the disrespect for the original protagonist

Anyway, the thing that's most upsetting to a borderline autist like me is how crummy the roadway system is presented. If there was still a "road culture" in this alternative universe the Interstates would've been at least partially completed (the urban ones were completed last), and if the United States was so fragmented and lawless in parts they sure as shit wouldn't be driving on smooth asphalt.

The roads are pretty standard allegory for wokeness. Everything is too smooth despite perceived hurdles. You'll never have a character actually saying legitimately angering things about the characters. No one will shout nigger or call the muslim as worshipping a pedophile. It will always be subtle.

There's also a DLC ( Archive ) where you can unlock three cosmetics: a hat, a jacket, and a bat. For an extra 14% of the base game's price. What a steal!

At least it's not a nail bat (which is a horrific weapon when you think about it). All those woke games are very disturbing in how they treat violence as less bad than body harm.

 

[Day of the Cope]

They dropped the absolute banger of a soundtrack.

Only a true genius would rhyme the word "born(e)" three times with itself and also rhyme "newborn" with "new porn." Enjoy other songs like "Escaping the Gig Grind" and "Influence Apocalypse!" Are you feeling it, fellow kids!

We're the freaks
We're the outcasts
We're nothing like you
You're past due
We will eclipse you
We're the aliens
We're the refugees
We walk among you
We're right behind you
Your time is past
Your kind won't last

The first song is literally about how the Great Replacement Theory is both real and a good thing! They're not even hiding it!

This has to be satire because there's no way this could be so on the fucking nose!

 

[Bobbobson]

I really liked The Longest Journey but it was inevitable for Ragnar to go completely off the rails, his games have been deteriorating in quality release after release and the writing was on the wall when he made a previously straight character come out as gay.

Wow didn't even know it's the same guy. Talk about fall from grace. TLJ was one of the last great point and clicks before the genre became niche. Now that I think about it, the signs were there from the beginning. While April Ryan was likeable character and the story was fun, she and her friend group were all hippies with “fuck you daddy” issues.

Dreamfall was garbage through and through though, both from story and gameplay perspective. Never played any other of his games.

 

[AspieNextDoor]

 

[Pepe Cortisona]

I'm watching a gameplay for lack of a better thing to do and oh boy if this isn't DEI Checklist: The Game. These are the things that stood out for me so far:

• Opening line for the game is "SHIT. Shit! Shit! SHIT."
• The latino can't speak spanish
• Muh clean energy
• Black girlboss likes to manipulate people a lot, even her friends
• Damn, these characters curse a lot
• A book titled The Library Manifesto (it's important to the plot)
• NEW JERUSALEM
• It's hard to pay attention to the Guitar Hero at home QTEs thanks to the awful layout and the awful lyrics
• 
  • And everyone clapped
• Alhamdulillah
• Black girlboss is not the leader of the party, but she always need to have the last word
• The Great Canadian Wall
• BEWARE OF THE MORMON GUARD!
• The white they/them is from Hong Kong, so muh CCP sob history
  • Broken branch, ancestors cry
• Fahrenheit/Indigo Prophecy had more "gameplay" and a better premise in the first 20 minutes than this game had in 2 hours (3 music qtes and 2 brawler sections padded with lots of exposition and walking simulation)
  • LiS was at least entertaining for all the wrong reasons
• Press F to pay respects, press X to doubt, pres X to Shaun! PRESS ️ TO TRIGGER

 

[Syikeblade]

the absolutely worst ever.
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The disabled butch lesbian one looks like one of my old supervisors.

 

[spiketex]