Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Doctor of Autism]

Let's translate this to what Jack actually does

1. Drink Bacon Grease and Watch Blues Clues
2. Tammy cooks breakfast in bed for you
3. Film a shitty livestream complaining about how woke everything is.
4. Sit and drool over new fast food items

 

[Guntanator]

"Cook breakfast in bed" like how Michael Scott turns on a George Foreman grill at the foot of his bed so he can wake to the smell of bacon?

 

[Super Hans v2]

He has all this advice for everyone else, yet can’t get through the day without eating 10,000 calories to calm his nerves. And he still has to sperg about the kind of shit anyone else would shrug off:

1. Jack admitted he can't see shit, I can't imagine he'd be able to read anything.
2. Beds are for sleeping and fucking. Saying you eat in bed is just admitting you're a fat ass. And Jack can't cook anyway.
3. Tammy, Jr, Medium Tammy, Charles, and... himself?
4. Jack saying he cleaned up something is like a toddler saying they helped daddy change the car's oil.

 

[Marc]

In a house of worship, it’s about showing respect to and honoring God. I wear nicer clothes to clean my garage than these lazy pieces of shit wear to “worship.”

I get that Jack is easy to hate, but a few of the people here pretending the church deserves better than him need to remember that people go there to absolve themselves of the next week's sins, rather than to internalize anything which may serve in resisting temptation.

Jack is giving his decapitation megachurch more respect than it deserves by patronizing it in the first place; just as he is the quality of parishioner such a place deserves. Between finding no fault in himself and treating his body like a rental car to be abandoned at the gates of heaven, Jack so epitomizes every negative stereotype of the white trash churchgoer that he may as well be the mascot on a collapsing cross.

 

[p1138]

Pastor Jack is back:

Ah yes, a list of things to do from Fatty, the man who can't do any of the shit he expects of others?

 

[AnOminous]

Jack is giving his decapitation megachurch more respect than it deserves by patronizing it in the first place; just as he is the quality of parishioner such a place deserves.

He left that church in a tard rage over something. Since it was coof time, people have assumed he was tarding out on a Zoom call service and they told him to shut up.

 

[AltisticRight]

Pastor Jack is back:

Yes, coffee helps with anxiety you dimwitted fat fuck. Believe it or not wagie cucks get out the bed and get coffee on the way to work, not book reading sessions.

How do you cook breakfast in bed? Is that why he has an omelette maker? So he can make stuff in bed?

If you call 5 people you "care about" each day, you don't care. Pig.

>Tidy up the house
Nigga watch your own "tour".

 

[biggacracka]

The bitmoji is even worse now.

View attachment 6337047

jack shat himself? the world really needed to know

 

[Kosher Salt]

Pastor Jack is back:

1. Ah yes, caffeine (which he blamed on one of his strokes) and a book that he's probably too blind to read. Maybe he can get the audiobook version. Or the Veggie Tales, that might be more his mental acuity.
2. He can't even walk. Cook breakfast in bed? Yeah, that's happening.
3. If Jack has 5 people who would answer the phone when he calls, I'd be surprised. That includes immediate family members.
4. I repeat, he can't fucking walk.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

The bitmoji is even worse now.

View attachment 6337047

Going by the emoji was that "Thing" take one to the face.

 

[Stone Cold Sneed Austin]

Whenever a jag off like Jack starts his post with "serious question" it's 100% bullshit and him just being passive aggressive instead of just coming out and saying whatever it is he wants to say. So instead he's trying to get someone else to say it for him, or say something he disagrees with so he can post an obnoxious reply that he won't elaborate on. He's probably worked up still about the Olypmic boxer or some other imagined plight he's having to struggle with in role as a cultural warrior.

I agree that Jack is the type to get worked up over a dumb culture war non-issue and the boxer is a good guess. I can imagine it smoldering in his melon for a couple weeks until he gets distracted by something else.

 

[The Stranger]

Pastor Jack is back:

View attachment 6337114

I wonder if 2 and 4 are supposed to be passive aggressive nags towards Tammy

 

[lindsayfan]

I wonder if 2 and 4 are supposed to be passive aggressive nags towards Tammy

ah good call, that's probably it.

jack wakes up at 11 am and shouts for his morning diaper change but tammy, who's been up since 8am at her desk, says "in a second, the california state tax authority is billing us six figures."

jack, fuming as he marinates in his own chartreuse pee-pee, decides his divinely-appointed helpmeet needs to have a better attitude. "fucking bitch... promisekeepers told me i should be king of the household."

 

[like_shutup_&_drive_scoob]

The bitmoji is even worse now.

View attachment 6337047

don't say it don't say it don't say it-

...
It looks like cum. A lot of it. Not milk. Or a beard which I think it's supposed to be.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

The bitmoji is even worse now.

View attachment 6337047

Besides the cumstache, I think Fatty is trying to make a big deal about shaving his head.

Negro, you're already bald. No one fuckin cares. If you weren't a useless slug, you'd be doing it on a regular basis, or at least taking out clippers every week or 2.

 

[lindsayfan]

This is the part I really don't get. I mean I dress for comfort over style if I can get away with it but it's frankly mind boggling how you can see people in literal slippers and pajamas walking around a supermarket at 3pm. Have a little self-respect and put some effort into trying to at least not look like you don't give a fuck even if you don't give a fuck.

And each and every single one of those people who do walk around like that tend to be the most self-centered people out there.

i know we're slipping into boomer gear-grind territory here but i agree with this. my two pet peeves are men wearing BASEBALL CAPS in decent restaurants (often sitting across from a woman who clearly spent an hour on her makeup, outfit etc) and people wearing gross sleepwear to the airport.

it's one thing if you live in a ghetto and the corner store is basically your living room. like ok your dirty slippers aren't disrespecting the traumatized racist afghani behind the bulletproof glass. but to fly on a plane i expect some modicum of self-/other-respect, not you showing up looking like a depressed femcel who hasn't left her dorm room in weeks

 

[Postal Dude]

Pastor Jack is back:

View attachment 6337114

For some reason the part about calling 5 people is the most insane part about this health and wellness diatribe. That’s like 3-4 hours of conversation AT LEAST.

I could use more of this, I love it when Jack gives unsolicited “health” advice.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

my two pet peeves are men wearing BASEBALL CAPS in decent restaurants (often sitting across from a woman who clearly spent an hour on her makeup, outfit etc

You and Tony Soprano. But I agree. It's so crass and low class to be wearing something like that in a nice restaurant. Walk in, you take off your hat. It's that simple.

and people wearing gross sleepwear to the airport.

That was another thing. I mean I understand not dressing up to travel like people used to do. But wearing sweatpants and big fuzzy slippers on the plane? I get wearing that at home. I get even running to the corner store to pick up some milk because you're in and out. But to wear that the entire way? It was I believe on Seinfeld when they said, "wearing track pants outside means you've given up on life". Or something like that.

For some reason the part about calling 5 people is the most insane part about this health and wellness diatribe. That’s like 3-4 hours of conversation AT LEAST.

I could use more of this, I love it when Jack gives unsolicited “health” advice.

And the really funny thing is Fatty thinks he's actually giving good advice.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

You and Tony Soprano. But I agree. It's so crass and low class to be wearing something like that in a nice restaurant. Walk in, you take off your hat. It's that simple.


That was another thing. I mean I understand not dressing up to travel like people used to do. But wearing sweatpants and big fuzzy slippers on the plane? I get wearing that at home. I get even running to the corner store to pick up some milk because you're in and out. But to wear that the entire way? It was I believe on Seinfeld when they said, "wearing track pants outside means you've given up on life". Or something like that.


And the really funny thing is Fatty thinks he's actually giving good advice.

This is what people use to wear to Baseball Games it's a crowd watching the Giants after they moved to California.

https://sneed.hdnux.com/photos/53/25/20/11359280/3/1200x0.jpg

I blame the Hippies.

 

[Aunt Carol]

For some reason the part about calling 5 people is the most insane part about this health and wellness diatribe. That’s like 3-4 hours of conversation AT LEAST.

I could use more of this, I love it when Jack gives unsolicited “health” advice.

Jack is so blessed to have such great support in his life. He should post his fav five as a discussion topic!