Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Dead Air]

No retard I actually said Jack is better than you. He's objectively better because he is happier, he's better because he has a family, he's better because he hasn't been collectively banned for terroristic activities in several countries like you have. He has swinish regressive views about the existence and dignity of other people but it doesn't reach a fever pitch of hatefulness like it does here every day.

But he is FAAAAAT and he loves consumption like all of you and every other fat stupid American.

Sir I believe the US Secret Service just visited Jack not long ago for making threats online.

 

[Aeritalia F-104S-ASA]

Spoiler

Banana Froyos from Aug 30, 2024

​

Spoiler

View attachment 6364922

The Ingredients. Not bad for Scalfani's standards. A good brand of vanilla yogurt, dark chocolate and walnuts. Oh, don't forget to pick up your CWJ SHOW MUG, for only $15!​

View attachment 6364923
Then comes this. Bruh. Just freeze the whole banana. It would just save you time and hassle especially when you have a dead arm.

View attachment 6364918
Jack is really trying to level up how his food looks. It's not horrible. 6/10 but I have to knock some points off because of the shameful product placement. Nothing makes me want to eat a banana froyo than seeing CWJ CLASSIC HOODIE for $50 on the left corner of my screen. 3/10.

View attachment 6364919

Here's my favorite part of the whole video, Jack sacrificing Tammie's molars to eat this frozen, bastardized, TikTok banana split. Jack's gleeful, soyface and Tammie's look of struggle and pain makes my sides explode.​

​

Fucking retard allows his dog to eat the spilled walnuts completely unaware they can be very harmful for them. Then yells at the dog in a harsh tone, "GUD GORL HOBE!!!"

Poor thing

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Such a happy guy

 

[Dead Air]

Mr. Chuds posts are all gone. That was fast! Can you even delete your own account here or did a janny nuke him?

 

[Marc]

@Dead Air https://kiwifarms.st/members/mr-chuddervese.182423/

For the record: Nobody is pretending they're better than Jack; because he is obviously inferior to any functional human being who didn't spend their lives eating themselves into being a hopelessly crippled, lying retard whose penis doesn't work for anything but burping bubbles like Wart from Super Mario Bros 2.

Jack treats each day as if it's his turn in some limbo contest on a scooter where he's the only participant. Even if he wasn't a complete fucking disgrace, he'd be a lolcow for his belief that being paid to film himself eating BUDDUR STAKE is something he deserves for being morally superior to his audience.

Edit: Now that I think of it, Jack and Wart have a fair amount in common.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

Mr. Chuds posts are all gone. That was fast! Can you even delete your own account here or did a janny nuke him?

Nuked, you can’t delete your own account.

If someone comes in here with a new account and guntguards Jack vehemently while calling us all bigots and racists, it’s almost certainly a fat, perma-seething, bunny-boiling hicklib named Ashley “Fatash” Hutsell Jankowski. Why she guntguards Jack despite being totally opposed to Jack’s political views is a mystery.

 

[Marc]

The funniest thing about her is her resemblance to Josh being so uncanny that even he felt compelled to address it:

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/debate-schizoposter-ashley-hutsell-jankowski-on-the-ethics-of-being-40-and-fat-on-the-internet.67088/post-6122734

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Banana Froyos from Aug 30, 2024​

View attachment 6364922

The Ingredients. Not bad for Scalfani's standards. A good brand of vanilla yogurt, dark chocolate and walnuts. Oh, don't forget to pick up your CWJ SHOW MUG, for only $15!​

View attachment 6364923
Then comes this. Bruh. Just freeze the whole banana. It would just save you time and hassle especially when you have a dead arm.

View attachment 6364918
Jack is really trying to level up how his food looks. It's not horrible. 6/10 but I have to knock some points off because of the shameful product placement. Nothing makes me want to eat a banana froyo than seeing CWJ CLASSIC HOODIE for $50 on the left corner of my screen. 3/10.

View attachment 6364919

Here's my favorite part of the whole video, Jack sacrificing Tammie's molars to eat this frozen, bastardized, TikTok banana split. Jack's gleeful, soyface and Tammie's look of struggle and pain makes my sides explode. ​

ASMR FEEDER GOONSESH

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Mr. Chuds posts are all gone. That was fast! Can you even delete your own account here or did a janny nuke him?

Dammit. I missed all the fun while I was out living my life with my working limbs, functional penis and full head of hair.

No, slicing the bananas into coins is how you’re able to blend it afterward without burning out the motor in your blender. He did it the correct way. I’ve been making this for years and it’s not complicated.

His method of making them still looks retarded. It doesn't look easy to eat so I'm guessing he skipped some steps or just didn't follow them properly.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Nuked, you can’t delete your own account.

If someone comes in here with a new account and guntguards Jack vehemently while calling us all bigots and racists, it’s almost certainly a fat, perma-seething, bunny-boiling hicklib named Ashley “Fatash” Hutsell Jankowski. Why she guntguards Jack despite being totally opposed to Jack’s political views is a mystery.

Its weird too because Jack is just as extreme as the average thunderdomer too, except more retarded for his moon landing and vegetable conspiracies.

Though its funny to think he is automatically happy and successful because he has a family despite being divorced, driving his first son to be estranged after choking him for smoking pot, and a clearly loveless marriage only bound by religion.

Not to mention Jack treats his daughter-in-law like shit and if pets count as family, he treats his dog like shit too.

I think Jack Jr and his brother are the only people Jack treats with any decency in his family.

 

[Helvítis Túristi]

The fact that HHH and A&N posters are in here shitting on jack should be a sign he's hated throughout the political spectrum. It really is easy to hate on jack, especially with how he behaves in public.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

The fact that HHH and A&N posters are in here shitting on jack should be a sign he's hated throughout the political spectrum. It really is easy to hate on jack, especially with how he behaves in public.

He's like the right-wing version of Brianna Wu. Hated by everyone who isn't a retard

 

[WhoBusTank69]

I don't even hate him, he's just hilariously dumb and that he's managed to push his body to the brink of death while still pushing is even funnier

 

[Tiresome]

I don't even hate him, he's just hilariously dumb and that he's managed to push his body to the brink of death while still pushing is even funnier

If nothing else, hate him for the fact he leaves his dogs in harnesses 24/7 for literal years. Even fucking draft horses get the straps taken off before they form pressure sores.

 

[AnOminous]

I don't even hate him, he's just hilariously dumb and that he's managed to push his body to the brink of death while still pushing is even funnier

He's the kind of guy I'd hate if I had to be actually around him but I don't.

As it is, he's just at the right level of being an awful piece of shit that I don't feel guilty about mocking him for being a gimped-out multiple stroke victim, but not bad enough I get inordinately angry about him.

I still miss Golden Era Jack who I've followed since years before coming to this site, when his crimes against cuisine were at least more creative and he was physically capable of tarding out in interesting ways instead of listlessly babbling unintelligibly while staring through dead, half-open eyes.

 

[biggacracka]

If nothing else, hate him for the fact he leaves his dogs in harnesses 24/7 for literal years. Even fucking draft horses get the straps taken off before they form pressure sores.

Reminder that *gurgles voice* "It's liddurally a securuty blanket, guys"

 

[Comma]

Fucking retard allows his dog to eat the spilled walnuts completely unaware they can be very harmful for them. Then yells at the dog in a harsh tone, "GUD GORL HOBE!!!"

Poor thing

Holy shit...


(https://www.pawlicy.com/blog/can-dogs-eat-walnuts/)

 

[MSPaintSupremacy]

I dunno what his dog looks like, so take this placeholder.

 

[Random Internet Person]

Jagoff is offended that Kaepernick kneeled and "disrespected the troops". Meanwhile every memorial day Jack tells veterans to stfu about remembering dead soldiers and ruining his gluttonous vibes. He also tells veterans that his experience is just as valid as their own because he had a few friends that were deployed to war and that is exactly the same as actually being a soldier during wartime.

Fuck sake, man. How do you manage to make Colin Kaepernick look good ? Somebody who feels like he needs to be unemployed to make a point about something.

That would be a waste of... well, everything. The man was nearly blind to taste and texture before the last two strokes, let alone nowadays. He probably can distinguish between the three basic food groups (meat, yucky vegetables, and terrible no-good carbs. Potatoes and cheese are honorary meat, MOM), and not much more.

Giving Jack wagyu is literally worst than casting pearls before swine. At least the pigs, being fairly intelligent creatures, can extract actual enjoyment from the experience, even if it's just the small intellectual exercise of being presented with something new, getting curious about it, and investigating the shiny new little balls in the mud. Jack doesn't even go that far; his mental processes for tasting food can be summed up by the following:

public String jacksFoodEvaluator (Food f) {
   
    if (f.getType().equals("MEAT") && f.getAmount().equals("LOTS")) {
        return "A+"";
    } else if (f.getType().equals("MEAT") && !f.getAmount().equals("LOTS")) {
        return "A-";
    } else if (!f.getType().equals("MEAT") && f.getAmount().equals("LOTS")) {
        return "B+";
    } else if (!f.getType().equals("MEAT") && !f.getAmount().equals("LOTS")) {
        return "C-";
    } else {
        this.setMood("ANGY");
        return "F";
    }
   
}

That Java reminds me of Monkey D. Luffy. Nothing but an unnatural desire for meat.

>GET THIS NIGGER BITCH OUT OF MY FAIRLY ODDPARENTS!

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I really doubt Jack was gonna watch this to begin with.

One thing I wonder is how much Jack actually LIKES cooking. We know he likes eating, and he likes the feeling of being a "celebrity" with a fanbase etc. But I wonder if he still likes/loves the actual cooking itself (the joy of creation, the fun of trying new things, the satisfaction of serving your friends and family etc) but is just so lazy/disabled/beaten up by life that this is what's left; or if he started out legitimately loving it but kind of lost interest along the way but he had some success early on and he doesn't know how to do anything else so he just kept riding that horse; or if he never really was that passionate and he's wasted most of his life on this nonsense.

Whatever the answer is, a poster above mentioned how angry Jack always is just below the surface and how miserable that must be as a way to live and I think that's very apt.

He sounds like he’s barely one step above Foodie Beauty in that regard.

Biggest takeaway in the first 20 minutes is Jack's conspiracy that Anthony Bourdain was killed by the Clinton's. His reasoning "You don't fly to another country when you're depressed and ready to take your own life. You're in the middle of filming an entire season of your new show which is very - somewhat- succesful". Then he says that Bill Clinton was one of the last people seen with Bourdain before he died.

Wasn’t it also said Bourdain had a lot of issues with self-doubt and drugs and thinking that one day, he’d be seen as a fraud and all his fame would go away?

Jack is an idiot?

The fact that HHH and A&N posters are in here shitting on jack should be a sign he's hated throughout the political spectrum. It really is easy to hate on jack, especially with how he behaves in public.

He did it. He did that what was thought to be impossible!

 

[Marc]

Wasn’t it also said Bourdain had a lot of issues with self-doubt and drugs and thinking that one day, he’d be seen as a fraud and all his fame would go away?

The jist of this is Jack's sentiments revealing that he lived vicariously through Bourdain by pretending that his uninformed, small-minded, idealized perception of Bourdain (which no one else shared) was who the man truly was. And Jack's Anthony Bourdain would gneh-vurr uh comment sewerside!

It demonstrates Jack's general inability/unwillingness to relate to other people on bases beyond the constraints of his own, sharting priorities - That everyone else is just a background character in the Jack Show for him to put in their place.