Orbiter "Flutter" / "Egg" / "Cabbage Patch" / "Meryl" / "Food Lion lady" - Modern Christory's biggest mystery

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

With the latest sighting not featuring Flutter, same as the one in Target a week ago, I think I might have bad news.
On the 19th, we had that mass sighting where several people encountered Chris in Roanoke. I am yet to add these pics in here since the guy I relegated to contacting people via Reddit was slacking off and the lolcow docs footage is gay as shit. Due to the lack of sightings of her and the fact that Chris (almost) never leaves the house without Flutter in tow, as well as the fact that we actually got another face pic of her, albeit in 256 x 256, I suspect we might have scared her off. It is yet to be confirned, but it is highly likely. Chris became more active on social medias too, which is another thing he doesn't usually do when Flutter's around.
Will she return?
Maybe, but we'll have to wait and see.

 

[Holden Cox]

Never heard of Fiona?

She wasn't really "into him" like a normal person, it's clear from her art she thought he was a hideous freak, she was just fascinated with him in a way that only a sperg can be.

 

[Ammyterasu]

With the latest sighting not featuring Flutter, same as the one in Target a week ago, I think I might have bad news.
On the 19th, we had that mass sighting where several people encountered Chris in Roanoke. I am yet to add these pics in here since the guy I relegated to contacting people via Reddit was slacking off and the lolcow docs footage is gay as shit. Due to the lack of sightings of her and the fact that Chris (almost) never leaves the house without Flutter in tow, as well as the fact that we actually got another face pic of her, albeit in 256 x 256, I suspect we might have scared her off. It is yet to be confirned, but it is highly likely. Chris became more active on social medias too, which is another thing he doesn't usually do when Flutter's around.
Will she return?
Maybe, but we'll have to wait and see.

I think her vacation/college break days are over and she'll be back in a few months, same as all the other times. She's not a innocent bystander, she knows full well the consequences of hanging out with Chris. No way Chris would refrain himself from going on a twitter/youtube tirade against the trolls for scaring off his true & honest galpal if that was the case, medication or not.

 

[Jakub4]

Never heard of Fiona?

Wasn't he trying to grope her in Giant Eagle or something when he was using one of those change machines and she gently but firmly removed his mitts from her?

Fiona wasn't attracted to Chris in the normal, typical way, she was merely fascinated by him as a disgusting, filthy fat man, which she was fascinated by, and she didn't want to be the girlfriend of someone like that, only have sex with him because she had a fetish for disgusting fat men. But that was the only time something like that happened to Chris, and it certainly won't happen again. It was a total exception, a phenomenon. Yes, Chris groped Flutter, but he does it to every woman he is near, including his own mother. Every time he tries to touch her, she recoils in disgust and avoids it.

Chris was seen at a CVS last year cuddling and potentially kissing her.

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Yes, but this is harassment, groping typical of Chris and she reacts negatively to her being touched like that.

Yeah and their kid is in for a horror show of a life, I really feel sorry for their future kids. Just imagine the abuse they will go through.

Chris is definitely not having sex with Flutter, and he's infertile anyway from all the estrogen and hormones and shit.

 

[BubbaRobot887]

Chris is definitely not having sex with Flutter, and he's infertile anyway from all the estrogen and hormones and shit.

I really hope you are right but given that everything has been going Chris' way since the arrest I have a horrible feeling one of these days we are going to be hearing about the birth of Crystal.
Let's face it, these days Chris seems to have the cheat codes for life and get everything he wants without even trying and he never feels the repercussions of any of the bad stuff he does.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Wasn't he trying to grope her in Giant Eagle or something when he was using one of those change machines and she gently but firmly removed his mitts from her?

But they're never holding hands or anything like that. Chris tries to grope most women he meets

 

[Jakub4]

I really hope you are right but given that everything has been going Chris' way since the arrest I have a horrible feeling one of these days we are going to be hearing about the birth of Crystal.
Let's face it, these days Chris seems to have the cheat codes for life and get everything he wants without even trying and he never feels the repercussions of any of the bad stuff he does.

Even if Chris had sex, I suspect he's infertile. After all, he certainly tinkered with his hormones and took estrogen during his hormone therapy and brought his duck to ruin and age also plays its part. He is already over 40 years old.

 

[Ammyterasu]

I have a horrible feeling one of these days we are going to be hearing about the birth of Crystal.

As very unlikely as that is, sometimes I half expect that too. That would be a nuclear level happening that would leave the farms, 4chan and similar communities in shambles.

 

[Jakub4]

As very unlikely as that is, sometimes I half expect that too. That would be a nuclear level happening that would leave the farms, 4chan and similar communities in shambles.

We could definitely expect some new lol/horrorcow like Chris and sequel after Chris.

 

[BubbaRobot887]

As very unlikely as that is, sometimes I half expect that too. That would be a nuclear level happening that would leave the farms, 4chan and similar communities in shambles.

I have to say I really hope I am wrong because that kid would be the most abused child in history and if the kid was a boy I can see Chris forcing him to transition before he even got to grade school just so some stupid dream he had in college could come true.

 

[Ammyterasu]

some stupid dream he had in college

Even worse, in the Father's Call he said he was a kid when he had that dream (he also said that in the dream he had an office job, funny how he always ignored that part of the "prophecy")

And of course there's the weird conflating of Crystal, his imaginary twin sister, and Crystal, his promised daughter, that always sounded like a Freudian nightmare...

 

[BubbaRobot887]

Even worse, in the Father's Call he said he was a kid when he had that dream (he also said that in the dream he had an office job, funny how he always ignored that part of the "prophecy")

And of course there's the weird conflating of Crystal, his imaginary twin sister, and Crystal, his promised daughter, that always sounded like a Freudian nightmare...

Yeah, how come he never tried to get an office job to make it come true, did it ever cross his mind that maybe his true and honest sweetheart was someone he met at that job?

 

[Black Yoshi]

I really hope you are right but given that everything has been going Chris' way since the arrest I have a horrible feeling one of these days we are going to be hearing about the birth of Crystal.

HRT nukes your sperm.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Yeah, how come he never tried to get an office job to make it come true, did it ever cross his mind that maybe his true and honest sweetheart was someone he met at that job?

Chris is really lazy

 

[D is for Stupid]

Yeah, how come he never tried to get an office job to make it come true, did it ever cross his mind that maybe his true and honest sweetheart was someone he met at that job?

Well let's look at this as an employer.
If you hired him, it will be for a basic entry level job. For office job it might be a receptionist, customer facing job, or a gopher for someone.

Do you think he can do those tasks? He scared children at Wendy's and was a dick to kids when he was a Pokémon trainer.

You would fire his smelly, remember he smelled bad before getting arrested, ass on a week.

 

[King Kiwi]

With the latest sighting not featuring Flutter, same as the one in Target a week ago, I think I might have bad news.
On the 19th, we had that mass sighting where several people encountered Chris in Roanoke. I am yet to add these pics in here since the guy I relegated to contacting people via Reddit was slacking off and the lolcow docs footage is gay as shit. Due to the lack of sightings of her and the fact that Chris (almost) never leaves the house without Flutter in tow, as well as the fact that we actually got another face pic of her, albeit in 256 x 256, I suspect we might have scared her off. It is yet to be confirned, but it is highly likely. Chris became more active on social medias too, which is another thing he doesn't usually do when Flutter's around.
Will she return?
Maybe, but we'll have to wait and see.

That's not exactly news, that's theorizing.

If Flutter really has hit the pavement, that's better for her. She doesn't need to be hanging around Chris.

 

[Rupin]

That's not exactly news, that's theorizing.

If Flutter really has hit the pavement, that's better for her. She doesn't need to be hanging around Chris.

She‘s been hanging with him off and on for about year now. I doubt this the last we have seen of her.

 

[underoo underarmour]

We need to chart the cyclic nature of her presence. She seems to come anf go for weeks at a time. The problem is we don't have anything definitive, only public sightings and Chris being more active online when she us gone.

If we can establish a cycle fir her presence we can compare it to known timetables such as college semester and other cycles that would be less semester-like.

At the very least we should take a look at the semester schedule and scheduled breaks for the college that Caden goes to, and rule that out as coinciding in any way. From there we can start looking at the possibility that she actually lives locally but travels to go to school and the reverse. Checking the schedules of schools local to Chris wouldn't be too difficult. In that case, she would be present while school is in session and absent (visiting home) when not in session, which might coincide better to her appearances.

My instinct is that this isn't a traditional school schedule at all. The cycles aren't quite right. My guess is it is an atypical work schedule or a job training schedule, something that has long periods on and then respite periods. However, it could have nothing to do with traditional work at all. her coming and going could also be similar to a schedule where she is carrying for a disabled or elderly family member in shifts with another caregiver.

Regardless, I think we need to work with what we hav, and what we have is a cyclic appearance "schedule" that might be pattern-based. I think her coming and going could be the key this. I am willing to apply up to 15% of my autism to this job. Anyone else want to chip in?

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

We need to chart the cyclic nature of her presence. She seems to come anf go for weeks at a time. The problem is we don't have anything definitive, only public sightings and Chris being more active online when she us gone.

If we can establish a cycle fir her presence we can compare it to known timetables such as college semester and other cycles that would be less semester-like.

At the very least we should take a look at the semester schedule and scheduled breaks for the college that Caden goes to, and rule that out as coinciding in any way. From there we can start looking at the possibility that she actually lives locally but travels to go to school and the reverse. Checking the schedules of schools local to Chris wouldn't be too difficult. In that case, she would be present while school is in session and absent (visiting home) when not in session, which might coincide better to her appearances.

My instinct is that this isn't a traditional school schedule at all. The cycles aren't quite right. My guess is it is an atypical work schedule or a job training schedule, something that has long periods on and then respite periods. However, it could have nothing to do with traditional work at all. her coming and going could also be similar to a schedule where she is carrying for a disabled or elderly family member in shifts with another caregiver.

Regardless, I think we need to work with what we hav, and what we have is a cyclic appearance "schedule" that might be pattern-based. I think her coming and going could be the key this. I am willing to apply up to 15% of my autism to this job. Anyone else want to chip in?

I tried to do it like so, but the issue is, most schools do not appear to follow the specific schedule needed.
Specifically, the cycles are as follows:
Somewhere before September 4 - October 3
December 20 - January 13
March 23 - ??? (Due to the lack of sightings, Flutter might have or might have not left sometime after March 25. That being said, she wasn't in the TwistedFreak sighting.)
June 27 - August 19

Of note, Flutter's arrival in March was to happen due to the BABSCon 2024 which she would be attending. That never happened, but since Chris recieved the info on March 8, it means that the flight was already booked. If we assume she booked both, this would mean she would have left somethere at the start of April.
The only specific dates we have are the December 20 (Airport sighting) and January 13 (A text only sighting of Chris alone at a gas station, further established via other info we learned since then).

 

[King Kiwi]

She‘s been hanging with him off and on for about year now. I doubt this the last we have seen of her.

In that case, I hope the pavement doesn't hurt too much when she falls on her face.