Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[WhoBusTank69]

Anyone who believes the government had a blue beam lazer that they used to burn down houses and didn't use that blue beam to kill Hamas or Taliban is functionally retarded and very likely needs a state-assigned caretaker to take care of themselves, so congratulations

Everyone knows the beam lazer is violet, so of course they're functionally retarded

 

[Sneedmiser]

Anyone who believes the government had a blue beam lazer that they used to burn down houses and didn't use that blue beam to kill Hamas or Taliban is functionally retarded and very likely needs a state-assigned caretaker to take care of themselves, so congratulations

The state was funding Hamas the and the Taliban, retard. They needed that fertile Hawaiian soil to grow opium to send to the Taliban in exchange for the rest of the Shah's Gold. They also used the blue beam cannon to strike those Israeli hostages to extend the war past November.

 

[Adamska]

Anyone who believes the government had a blue beam lazer that they used to burn down houses and didn't use that blue beam to kill Hamas or Taliban is functionally retarded and very likely needs a state-assigned caretaker to take care of themselves, so congratulations

No, Project Blue Beam is even more retarded than that. It's the belief that the government is working with NASA and other commonly gibbered about agencies to forment an artificial Rapture/Second Coming so they can rule the world in an evil one world government bullshit where all Christians get purged in favor of a cult of humanity. It was retarded in the 1990s, and it's retarded now.

Like it's honestly just a Chick Tract but with NASA instead of the NWO.

Jack clearly is getting fed more shit from influencers from Tiktok. Either that or from the bottomfeeder psychopaths he pals around with and does the thinking for him.

 

[Sneedmiser]

No, Project Blue Beam is even more retarded than that. It's the belief that the government is working with NASA and other commonly gibbered about agencies to forment an artificial Rapture/Second Coming so they can rule the world in an evil one world government bullshit where all Christians get purged in favor of a cult of humanity. It was retarded in the 1990s, and it's retarded now.

Like it's honestly just a Chick Tract but with NASA instead of the NWO.

Jack clearly is getting fed more shit from influencers from Tiktok. Either that or from the bottomfeeder psychopaths he pals around with and does the thinking for him.

I try to keep up with crazy conspiracy and alternate world order theories but I've somehow never heard of this one. I thought it was yet more offbrand Qoomer retardation. Serves me right for not following tiktok.

Tell me, what's Blue Beam's excuse for antisemitism? All of these conspiracies have one.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

Jack doesn’t know how laws are passed

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

I'm sorry, but isn't fatty's whole shtick America First/Boomer Republican?

He puts on a facade of this but it's half-assed just like everything he does. His only true conviction is for whoever lets him get away with being lazy and cheap. He has, on multiple occasions, recommended against buying USA-made products in favor of cheap Chinesium knockoffs because they're "just as good" but cheaper because Americans have the audacity to make outrageous demands like "factories without suicide nets", "pollution controls" and "living wages". So with that in mind it's no surprise at all that he entertains the idea of outsourcing mundane tasks to coolie labor. This also serves to inflate his ego: he's important enough to have an assistant!

 

[AnOminous]

"Kinky's breakfast lunch"
1:53: "I just wanna make sure the weggs are cooked"

Christ what a retard. He's gurgling like he has pleurisy. He's literally dying in front of us.

 

[SteveGoatman]

He puts on a facade of this but it's half-assed just like everything he does. His only true conviction is for whoever lets him get away with being lazy and cheap. He has, on multiple occasions, recommended against buying USA-made products in favor of cheap Chinesium knockoffs because they're "just as good" but cheaper because Americans have the audacity to make outrageous demands like "factories without suicide nets", "pollution controls" and "living wages". So with that in mind it's no surprise at all that he entertains the idea of outsourcing mundane tasks to coolie labor. This also serves to inflate his ego: he's important enough to have an assistant!

Exactly. Jack, and people like him, don't actually care about America, American values, or fellow Americans at all, they only care about themselves. He wants what he wants and at costs/effort so low that the products have to be made by either: slave labor; companies in fourth world countries that might as well be using slave labor; or made by absolutely massive chains that mass produce their products with zero regard for quality.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Also, what the fuck could he possibly need a "virtual assistant" for?

To feel important instead of like a useless cripple. Imagine what a shitty boss he would be.

 

[Aunt Carol]

just a Chick Tract but with NASA instead of the NWO

Considering how much Jack likes things with "Jack" in the name, it's a surprise he doesn't smugly order Chick Tracts by the boxful.

He goes out to eat a lot, so he'd need plenty to leave for tips.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Jack doesn’t know how laws are passed

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You expect Fatty to understand how laws are passed when he doesn't understand the basics of nutrition and thinks his strokes were caused by caffeine and sugar?

 

[James done did it]

lol this butter video is one of the most strokebrained ass backwards attempts at content creation I've seen out of him
"I SAW THIS VIDEO AND I'M TRYING IT"
"IT DIDNT WORK THAT GUY IS A FAKER BUT IM NOT THE KIND OF GUY THAT WILL SHOW YOU WHO IT WAS"
It's content critique without referencing the content it's critiquing so we're just supposed to be annoyed at some guy on tiktok who wasted jacks, and now our, time. ~9 minutes of him being retarded and complaining that a tiktok lied to him.

 

[Guntanator]

lol this butter video is one of the most strokebrained ass backwards attempts at content creation I've seen out of him
"I SAW THIS VIDEO AND I'M TRYING IT"
"IT DIDNT WORK THAT GUY IS A FAKER BUT IM NOT THE KIND OF GUY THAT WILL SHOW YOU WHO IT WAS"
It's content critique without referencing the content it's critiquing so we're just supposed to be annoyed at some guy on tiktok who wasted jacks, and now our, time. ~9 minutes of him being retarded and complaining that a tiktok lied to him.

But the guy loied!
The scream I let out when he poured the milk out of the jar was that of a banshee. Is there any possibility that the non handicapped man who made the butter could shake it more vigorously than a one armed stroke brained Mongoloid and his disinterested human ass wiper? People have made butter like this forever. He cannot be this fucking retarded. That was an amazing video.

 

[Super Hans v2]

Honestly, with as much budder as Jack goes through, one of TamHam's his more solid investments would be a paint mixer.

 

[abobe]

Jack's use of the Dutch angle in the butter video was very fitting.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Anyone who believes the government had a blue beam lazer that they used to burn down houses and didn't use that blue beam to kill Hamas or Taliban is functionally retarded and very likely needs a state-assigned caretaker to take care of themselves, so congratulations

Droughts, insanely flammable grass, and wind do not mix well.

 

[AnOminous]

People have made butter like this forever. He cannot be this fucking retarded. That was an amazing video.

It's almost like churning butter is something so notoriously labor-intensive that it's been used as a metaphor for hard work for forever.

Something Jagoff is completely incapable of, being both a crippled gimped-up stroke retard and lazy as fuck, on top of that.

 

[JambledUpWords]

Jack could have just used a standing mixer and let it run for a few minutes. I don’t get why he decided to do it in the method that would require the most exercise he’s had in months. The “hack” he found was probably the most labor intense way to do it. Even an actual butter churn would have been less effort than shaking a jar for who knows how long. Regardless, the last thing Jack needs is more butter.

 

[AnOminous]

Jack could have just used a standing mixer and let it run for a few minutes. I don’t get why he decided to do it in the method that would require the most exercise he’s had in months. The “hack” he found was probably the most labor intense way to do it. Even an actual butter churn would have been less effort than shaking a jar for who knows how long. Regardless, the last thing Jack needs is more butter.

Or he could have tried not being a stroked-out dying faggot who only has one functional arm thanks to his shitty diet.

He is very unlike this guy:

https://www.inthekitchenwithmatt.com/easy-homemade-butter

Fun fact: this guy has two arms that work, unlike Stroke Boy.

I generally use two hands on the jar to shake it. You will wind up shaking it for several minutes. After awhile it will thicken up and feel like nothing is moving around in there. Keep shaking.

Shaking the cream takes it through phases, the first phase is thickening it into pretty much a whipped cream.

Soon the you will feel a solid bouncing around in the jar with a sloshing liquid. That solid is the homemade butter. Stop shaking once you get to this point. If you keep shaking the liquid will be re-introduced into the butter and ruin it.

Guess what gimped-out retard doesn't have two functional hands?

 

[Marc]

Even an actual butter churn would have been less effort than shaking a jar for who knows how long. Regardless, the last thing Jack needs is more butter.

The prospect of "more buddur" is what powered him through the ordeal; just as if he was enduring a rape. Pouring the liquid out at the end must have been like finding out there's no heaven waiting for him.