First time hate crime
bpsymington
I’ve been really fortunate since I started my transition. Had my first really bad experience today. I worked out at the Y and then went to use the women’s locker room. I entered a stall, and a woman started banging on the door, telling me to get out, saying I was a man/dude. She tried to get the staff to kick me out, but they didn’t (the Y supports gender diversity). I left and went to the front desk to report what happened, and she followed me, continuing to verbally assault me and threaten me with violence. I didn’t raise my voice, but I said if she did anything I’d call the police. The Y staff apologized, confirmed I could use the lockers that matched my gender identity, and gave me the contact info of the executive director. I came home and just cried. It really hurt.
Straight_Box_5205
You handled that well. That you held your composure speaks volume of your character. It would be a disservice to others if you didn't report this. Sorry that hurt you so much.
InspectionSame8586
Great point
. Holding your composure in a situation like that is very difficult. When someone behaves like she did in public but the other person doesn’t respond in kind, it makes their awful behavior stand out and everyone can see.
So sorry OP, hugs.
GunsAndHighHeels
That's a legitimately terrifying experience. I'm so sorry you were burdened with that. I hope that someday that woman finds the love and compassion that is so desperately lacking in her life.
transphotobabe
Well spoken. You didn't deserve that OP, sending you love <3
Ono-Grrl
First, I am sorry that you've experienced this. No one should suffer abuse or verbal assault just for being themselves. Sounds like you handled it well.
2nd you should definitely report her. She needs to understand that bullying is never acceptable.
nb_zen
Yeah, the Y needs to revoke her membership. That’s terrible harassment. Even if she genuinely thought there was a man in the women’s locker room, then she should have reported it to staff and let them deal with it. What she did is psycho behavior.
bpsymington
When I wrote to the executive director I didn’t ask for that. I think that’s what should happen. I know I would have a hard time feeling safe going back if she were still there.
myothercat
Why didn’t you put that in your message?
bpsymington
I was focused on just relating the facts of what happened. If I do indeed hear from one of the managers/directors maybe I’ll bring it up with her.
Ono-Grrl
fourty-six-and-two
That's one of my biggest fears is locker rooms, I just try not to use my voice and hope I don't get clocked.
silverwolf-br
Only a lady of composure could hold back her words. I'm happy you could.
bpsymington
I was so nervous while she was threatening me my hands were shaking!
chloeography
That sounds awful and terrifying. I am so sorry you went through that.
sillygoofygooose
Well done for handling this so capably. I’m so sorry that you were targeted by someone. It’s not ok, it shouldn’t happen, and you deserve so much better.
jnjs232
The Y does not support gender diversity. Not one bit. That is a farse. Been doing my job for 35 yrs. Can do it with with my eyes closed. I am transgender. I am in shape. I look pretty good. Went to final interview. As soon as I walked in I made eye contact with 2 ladies across from me. At that moment, I knew I was dust. Not a chance. And my suspicious were correct. Yet I, I had to call and call just to get a call back to listen to the gentleman stumble over his words giving me no real response on why I was not hired. Applied again for the same position, different location 2 months ago. Do you think I heard anything? I did.... Crickets So please refrain from saying they are for gender diversity. Because they are not
myothercat
No disrespect but OP said the Y staff were accommodating and affirming. I’m sorry your experience was bad but you don’t get to turn police how others describe their own personal experiences.
Also for what it’s worth it seems like the Y has gone to bat for trans women kind of a lot
https://komonews.com/news/local/ymc...ker-room-julie-jaman-port-townsend-washington
jnjs232
No disrespect back to you as well . I'm not policing anyone... And I'm sorry if it seemed as such. But there is quite a difference when someone is paying monies to be part of a club. Then for them to be paying someone... Me. Maybe I should have clarified that. Again. I'm sorry. Seems you are the one policing me. I am sure the staff was very attentive and coached up very well. And I am glad they helped and managed her situation. So they may seem gender affirming on the outside and have gone to bat against the many Karen's out there. But that is their jobs. It's like a house with a fresh paint job,and fresh Sheetrock. But tear away the Sheetrock and find old dilapidated piping and wiring. Looks great on the outside. Now let's get down to the nuts and bolts.
Again wrong platform for me to try and pick the scab per say. I will learn and move on.
But you as well need to stop policing until you have all the facts. Don't dismiss what someone has to say. And please don't believe what you hear on TV
bpsymington
As I said, in this case they were supportive.
kathrinet2022
Oh my goodness! I am sooooooo sorry
AdComplete726
That made me tear up. You carried yourself well, I’d be super proud to share any bathroom with you anywhere any day
And that “lady?” I’m ashamed to share a species with that type.
So sorry you had to cry alone.
bpsymington
Happy to say I didn’t cry alone - I cried on my wife’s shoulder as we held each other.
J0nn1e_Walk3
Not sure I wouldn’t have pummeled her until she cried. You are a strong woman. I can’t imagine walking into a public ladies restroom or locker room ever. Just saying.
I envy you women that do this and every stone thrown at you I feel x 10.
bpsymington
Thank you!
th3tadzill
These are the scary reasons I'll never go to a gym, and I avoid all public restrooms if possible! And I'm 7 years on T and pass well, but I'm still scared.
