Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Bilbo Boglims]

Cat chucking aside I enjoy Cool Taste, dude is funny. Someone made a theme song for him a while back that is genuinely good imo.

Spoiler: Local Archive

 

[Eventide]

Somehow, I have no idea how it can be managed, he actually LOST a bearded dragon.

Although I don't own any bearded dragons/have experience with them (turtle is my preferred species of reptile) It's entirely possible to lose a bearded dragon if one leaves the enclosure open. Especially if the heat lamp isn't on - it'll instinctively try to find a new heat/light source.

Heck, the heat lamp can be functioning, and it can still try to escape the enclosure. For example, I own a rather ambitious Rio Grande Slider that constantly tries to escape his luxurious big well maintained tank - presumably to score himself some tail (sadly, I don't own any female turtles, so his quest is always a failure).

 

[bookers]

Although I don't own any bearded dragons/have experience with them (turtle is my preferred species of reptile) It's entirely possible to lose a bearded dragon if one leaves the enclosure open. Especially if the heat lamp isn't on - it'll instinctively try to find a new heat/light source.

Heck, the heat lamp can be functioning, and it can still try to escape the enclosure. For example, I own a rather ambitious Rio Grande Slider that constantly tries to escape his luxurious big well maintained tank - presumably to score himself some tail (sadly, I don't own any female turtles, so his quest is always a failure).

what're you some kinda monster?
get your turtle a gf, he wants to fuck

 

[McSneaks]

Before and after BPD pussy. Not even once boys

 

[Eventide]

what're you some kinda monster?
get your turtle a gf, he wants to fuck

It's generally a good idea to separate turtles by gender, since male slider turtles are quite territorial & will uh...how to phrase this nicely? Mate a female to death, if given the opportunity. Males will also kill each other for the mere opportunity to uh, mate a female to death.

So anyway, Cobra's next pet should be something a bit less difficult to maintain/easier to replace. Like a hamster.

 

[Unfriendly Eurofag]

From what I can tell Cobra hate is at a WOR level, maybe pushing a Boogie, but nowhere near a DSP.
Essentially he's easy to fuck with and people come up with bullshit excuses to justify their lame ass trolling. During the first Jessica visits people kept saying he was a pedo, or said some pedo adjacent shit.
Then people don't like him because he's a cringe goth boy.
Honestly he's just trailer trash with autism so I don't get the fucking issue.
Daniel Larson is another favored target. The dude is a genuine mental patient, being manipulated by people, and then they get mad and say "oh but he's a pedo!"
Like, my guy, you literally steer him towards that shit. I think we can make allowances for mental patients to be a little out of fucking hand. If left alone DL isn't messing with kids. He's dine and dashing, throwing fits at management, being trespassed, and getting into fights.
Then they stole his dog and everyone's like "He's homeless he can't care for a dog!" Fucking rediculous.
Cyrax is the only person I've seen that seems to actually deserves the shit that they get. He's done some genuinely bad shit, and seems to love the attention.

I totally agree with most things. Daniel was coaxed into doing most stuff he is judged for but people dont care because they just need an excuse to destroy his already broken life even more. On the other hand I still think he might be a danger to girls (not women, because he is too weak) because he cant control himself. He simply needs to be institutionalized for a few years to get his issues sorted out and get him on the right meds.

To me Cobes is the most wholesome lolcow. I would bet everything I own that he would never hurt anyone on purpose and it is simply fun watching him come up with the weirdest concepts in his little boglim mind or seeing him fighting himself right before he passes out drunk.

I always disliked NAL and it was obvious not even Cobes deserves a hag like that but what she did now catapulted her to the top of my hate list. She is the only person I really wish to be trolled into self deletion.... Edge a guy like Cobes to the point of pointing a gun at his head, videoing the situation and then continue to pick on him when he did not pull the trigger immediately so she gets her attention... then humiliate him by releasing the material and acting like she is the victim! fuck this cunt!

 

[Ponzo]

Cat chucking aside I enjoy Cool Taste, dude is funny. Someone made a theme song for him a while back that is genuinely good imo.

Spoiler: Local Archive

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Cool Taste is still a faggot who should have been thrown off a cliff at birth

 

[Mushroom King]

Cool Taste is still a faggot who should have been thrown off a cliff at birth
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Disgusting.

 

[Captain Ahab]

When a hoe is alone and living with her parents at 40, and she isn’t some kind of super religious nutter or mentally disabled, you know she’s truly insane. Men will fuck anything no matter how gross. Even nasty methheads can manage to find some dude to hang onto.

This bitch has no one. No husband. No boyfriend. No friends. Even her parents are sick of her. That’s not a red flag, that’s the whole ass red room from Amityville.

Boy let a demon in.

 

[Giant Machine]

"My favorite Ozzy Osbourne shirt, which I own many pairs of." I love the boy's weak grasp on the English language.

lol well if it's a multiple of 2 is he wrong?

 

[bango skank]

Boy let a demon in.

Well bad news for her then, boy regularly invites demons into his body before taking their powers for his own. Trust and believe.

 

[ilovejews]

If Cobies killed that bitch and I were on the jury, he'd be a free man.

One demon is dead, and a man's life is at stake, if there's a reasonable doubt in your minds as to the guilt of the accused, uh a reasonable doubt, then you must bring me a verdict of "Not Guilty".

 

[Glowie]

Local archive
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Source files instead of screencaps

Spoiler: SOURCE

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If Cobes shoots her, or himself, Chris should suffer.
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He's holding his shotgun to his chin.
Hello feature friends: the screencap is from this post. Here are relevant clips.
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She's hiding the camera, because she's in a discord call with the paypig who paid for her flight out there, against Cobra's wishes. So that is why the screen is black at first.
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This is a leaked call with the paypig, she spent hours fighting with Cobra, completely naked on a discord call with the paypig, to try and get him (Cobra) in a gotcha. Local archive of the "call" here.
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Retarded bitch hasn't heard of term: manslaughter.

Holy mother of cellulite, this thing looks like a overstuffed sausage

 

[3deadniggers]

They absolutely do! They sell remakes/reissues of the original, as well as novelty versions like "own your own pet K-Pop star" (which I recently saw in, of all places, 5 Below )or Baby Yoda.

Your quote messed up some how. Do they do one like Puff? Puff returned to me as a tamagotchi tubez!

Daniel Larson is another favored target. The dude is a genuine mental patient, being manipulated by people, and then they get mad and say "oh but he's a pedo!"

There needs to be a term for pedo baiting lolcows. It's becoming increasingly common.

Cyrax is the only person I've seen that seems to actually deserves the shit that they get. He's done some genuinely bad shit, and seems to love the attention.

I know his history but you're making the same excuses all the other people do for torturing cows. There's always been debate around if he did rape Blind Billy or if they decided to be sexual together and later Billy said it was rape because no one would admit to being sexual with the attic goblin. As bad as Cyraxx is, some of his worst moments are set up by Marty and his discord faggots manipulating him like they did recently with the pedo accusations when he was filming himself shoving his fingers up his ass.

How many lolcows are dumb people manipulated into doing the bad things that justify more bad things happening to them? Where would Cobes be now if his trolls were the opposite and were encouraging him to do better in life? Didn't Ullillillillillillia turn his life around with support? It's too late for Cobes now but I wonder how many cows are troll made. Duster brained and bog witch Cobra isn't an organic growth, it's from glass punchers and then they will justify punching more because he's a dead beat drug addict getting free stuff that they created.

 

[Procrastinhater]

Fuck she's got tits like that old woman in room 237 on The Shining JfC.

I don't know much about this dude but from an outsiders perspective that bitch was fucking goading him hoping she'd get some Liveleak footage.
Fucking cunt.
The way she paused and lined up the shot over her shoulder hoping he was gonna dome himself was cold af, and then when she realized he wasn't she went right back to bitching.
She's a psychopath but she's a low iQ one, no survival skills, because if dude does decide enough is enough he's likely gonna take her out first.

This shit's gonna be an EWU episode if he don't kick that bitch out. Murder suicide.
She's fucking haggard too, dudes getting that irate over a fucking Swamp Goblin looking bitch that looks like she lives in a moss grown shack in the Bayou.

 

[ibeatmywife]

Where would Cobes be now if his trolls were the opposite and were encouraging him to do better in life? Didn't Ullillillillillillia turn his life around with support? It's too late for Cobes now but I wonder how many cows are troll made. Duster brained and bog witch Cobra isn't an organic growth, it's from glass punchers and then they will justify punching more because he's a dead beat drug addict getting free stuff that they created.

Cobes discovered the bottle on his own he told clint once he turned 18 he was allowed to smoke so he started, 21 it was the same thing with alcohol. It is possible if cobes grew up in some fantasy land utopia where every person he interacted with and tried befriend was Mr Green he may have had a chance but in this worldline and reality I don't think it was ever possible.

I really hate how badly people hate on cobes because imo he really isn't that bad considering people like cyraxx and nal exist but trolls or not cobes could make a few key adjustments and drastically improve his life. Realistically the bog is never going to do a total 180 but if he did a few specific things it would have a remarkable effect.

●Changing his phone number and not giving it to anyone but clint.

●Not going live, only pre recorded content moving forward

●Start making more wands part time so that you are never in the negative again and forced to go live

It would be so simple and create some kind of stability in an otherwise chaotic lifestyle but the only thing preventing it has nothing to do with trolls its just josh being josh.

 

[Down From The Champions]

From what I can tell Cobra hate is at a WOR level, maybe pushing a Boogie, but nowhere near a DSP.
Essentially he's easy to fuck with and people come up with bullshit excuses to justify their lame ass trolling. During the first Jessica visits people kept saying he was a pedo, or said some pedo adjacent shit.
Then people don't like him because he's a cringe goth boy.
Honestly he's just trailer trash with autism so I don't get the fucking issue.

I see it a lot with the new generation. They are always quick to throw out peado allegations without any proof and just try desperately to make the lolcow out to be the worst person in the world when they themselves are the faggots.

Honestly the new generation is just a load of brainrotted retards.

 

[Gorbus]

How many lolcows are dumb people manipulated into doing the bad things that justify more bad things happening to them? Where would Cobes be now if his trolls were the opposite and were encouraging him to do better in life? Didn't Ullillillillillillia turn his life around with support? It's too late for Cobes now but I wonder how many cows are troll made. Duster brained and bog witch Cobra isn't an organic growth, it's from glass punchers and then they will justify punching more because he's a dead beat drug addict getting free stuff that they created.

I think the trolls getting him fired from Wendys was a genuine turning point for Cobes, but more in the sense that it gave him a permanent excuse for not finding a job. Like I don't approve of getting people fired from their job for gay internet shit, obviously, so they do take some of the blame. But the Josh we see now is the product of a lot of Josh's choices. Trolls just gave him a very easy lane to occupy, and a sense of drama in his life.

He could've got a different job, and he could've kept it a secret. Working at Wendys (and jobcorp before it) was what kept him in contact with wider humanity, and if you're autistic (and whatever else) like Josh is you really need to keep in contact with society or you will get weird and regress quickly. People like Josh don't really form habits, they need the accountability of other people or else they'll just go 'Fuck it, I don't care if I brush my own teeth'.

I have followed Cobra for a long time, and I think unusually for a lolcow he's always had a mixture of trolls and more genuine supporters. I don't think anyone is a fan of him like he thinks they are, but I know a lot of people who follow him liked him as a goofy guy who was ultimately relatable in some weird way, and you wanted to see him do well, you wanted to see him hang out with his weirdo friends. He's basically Charlie from Always Sunny, and back then he had some real self awareness and was funny on purpose a lot of the time.

There's a hard core of people who genuinely hate Josh and want him to suffer and die under their thumb, but that's a minority. A lot of people have tried to help him over the years, had long long conversations with him about what he could do to avoid being trolled as much and to turn his life around, but at every point Josh has chosen the path of least resistance: living off troll donos and screaming at his webcam. He's indulged his vices (that he developed on purpose and people told him not to, both irl and online) to the point that he's genuinely damaged himself in a way that I think is quite hard to come back from. Wet brain goes away eventually, but duster brain I don't know about.

 

[ibeatmywife]

Everyone blames the fat alog from Kentucky for getting cobes fired from Wendy's and I don't doubt they used that as an excuse but if they had already cut him down to 1 day a week because of him fucking up over and over then it is safe to say they wanted him gone. I can't think of many jobs cobes could do that would make more sense than the ways he is able to make money now. The key factor is still missing which is cobes has shit work ethic and is also legitimately retarded.

 

[PetiteFeet]

this is what I get for not keeping up with the boglim because the NAL arc was draining to experience. jesus fucking christ Clint get your boy.