This is a good take imo. Why not talk to the bullies like real people to see if you can elicit a little empathy rather than just tell the victim they need to toughen up (which is also a good skill to have, dont get me wrong). Might not want to give details of the issues the kid is facing to the bullies though. Idk it worked on me once. I said something that I didnt even think twice about being hurtful. And my brother just calmly said something along the lines of 'yeah that person gets enough shit because of X and I am not comfortable talking like this about them.' Kinda stopped me in my tracks and did make me pause and think about how I said things without it being a punishment type situation. Never was a bully though just a dumb kid repeating dumb things
To be fair, in most cases I think you need to work on both ends of the bullying issue. It is just in this case, where the kid is really going through a shit hard time, it is probably time to lean in a little harder on the bullies to give the kid a break. I bet most of them would lighten up enough to give that kid some breathing room. Let's be honest. Most of the classmates probably already knew the shit he was dealing with. They just lack the maturity and wisdom to take that into account when they are thinking about razzing him.
On the whole "toughen up," end. Most kids getting bullied don't get told what they need to do.
1. Enroll the kid in some sort of self defense class. Karate or Judo are just fine. The kid doesn't need the best self defense training. Just enough to give him a bit of confidence to make the bullies beat on someone else. Also martial arts training is typically good about instructing the students on how to not abuse their training.
2. Kid needs to start doing push ups and lifting weights. He is being bullied because he looks weak. If you look more muscular & less doughy bullies will pick on someone else.
3. Kid needs to train up on athletics at least to the point where he is no longer picked last for teams. That isn't that high of a bar. Learning how to build up his endurance through regular running. Spending a couple of hours with his father in the park each weekend playing ball, catch, hitting a baseball, kicking the soccer ball around. The key is to show him how to practice and make sure he knows that if he keeps it up, he can be better than half the kids in his class. Team sports are critical in terms of both social skills, and bonding with other boys through shared experiences.
4. Boyscouts. Camping, Canoeing. Merit badges to acquire manly skills that he will need to know later in life. It is also great for acquiring social skill outside of the pecking order of school life.
5. Create a culture where it is the norm for him to invite friends over to do things. Getting the first friend over might be hard for him. Maybe invite someone over from boyscouts and have the father work on merit badge stuff. Level up to board games. Then grabbing another friend to go practice sports at the park. This stuff adds up once you get the ball rolling. Once he becomes the kid who comes up with ideas of things to do, his social problems will be mostly over.
6. He needs to be told that the only way to deal with bullies that are physically pushing him around and hitting him is to fight back. No authority at school is going to tell him that. And yes, he will get in trouble. And yes, it won't be fair. And yes, the teachers never do anything when the kid is just being bullied. But the only other alternative is to be pushed around and hit all of the time for the rest of his life. Accept the punishment as part of the price for standing up for himself. Kids like that get told all of the time that fighting is bad. But nobody ever tells them that there is a time and place where that no longer applies.
