Containment Random Chris Updates

[Marvin]

He was making thanksgiving, found Cutco. Remembers he "works" for Cutco. Tries selling for Cutco again.

See, people are delving too deeply into the advertising aspect of it. Chris isn't talking like a TV commercial because he still thinks he works for Cutco or that they'll cut him some money or benefits or anything.

He's just stupid and got suckered in by a really cheesy marketing ploy, and he actually believes in it. He talks like a TV commercial because he thinks people actually talk like that, to some degree. (Maybe not casually, but I'm sure Chris thinks that if someone is really jazzed about something they bought, they might sound something like a TV commercial.)

 

[Jack Awful]

Updates on the wide world of sonichu are always good. I'll fucking take it. Why haven't these genius trolls just asked Chris to talk about cwcville and expand on the lore?

Now we know that cwcville has an official blade

Good luck seceding from Trump's America with those things.

 

[Straight Outta Cwcville]

He probably likes them because of the "double d edge", and the fact that's also a bra size.

 

[Karen Riley]

I think it's just Watermelon paying for unfunny content again.

I know that Watermelon is, well Watermelon and has a track record for pissing away money on Chris but even he wouldn't pay him money just to share a video about cutlery on Facebook.

Chris probably associates Cutco and his time working for them as a happier time when he was a lot more content and wasn't as terrified by the future as he is now. Ignoring the fact he didn't enjoy working for them and he left quickly of course, doing some light shilling off their products possibly reminds him of a much happier time.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

Spoiler: Full image

 

[Mark Corrigan]

Get a job, Chris.

 

[Purple Man]

Is Chris becoming self-aware?

 

[knux]

See, people are delving too deeply into the advertising aspect of it. Chris isn't talking like a TV commercial because he still thinks he works for Cutco or that they'll cut him some money or benefits or anything.

He's just stupid and got suckered in by a really cheesy marketing ploy, and he actually believes in it. He talks like a TV commercial because he thinks people actually talk like that, to some degree. (Maybe not casually, but I'm sure Chris thinks that if someone is really jazzed about something they bought, they might sound something like a TV commercial.)

I've always found it bizarre how Chris will just recite commercials almost verbatim. I know its the autism but he really sounds like he was raised by television.

 

[aron]

teg a boj, sirhC, teg a boj.

 

[Hyperion]

Finances are a problem for the majority of people, not that Tubs would know.

It really is quite fascinating to observe this wild autist on Facebook, his natural habitat.

 

[Cydonia]

Hmm. He posted a picture of a knife after three posts about how his life sucks.

Honestly, at this point, I really wouldn't be surprised if he used this same Cutco knife to lop off his duck as an attempt to get some lesbian cred.

 

[MonoAcid]

I honestly don't know how people in general, nevermind Chris, do this free advertising for companies in the hope they will get some commision EVER think they will make anything from it? Like who would look at that post with it's air of fakeness and lengthy named product that's obviously an advertisement, with no similarity to someone's actual thoughts they might post, and think someone will buy it?...especially when it's an overpriced brand noone touches except the poor suckers who buy the demo kit like Chris did.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

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That's a cute little dramatic renactment of how Barb and Chris set 14 BC ablaze for insurance money...
Sorry Chris, no one wants to be your insurance money ever again...
Get a job.
Chris is telling everyone that his poor little heart wants to piss and burn money on transformers and McDonald's...
Chris is acting like everyone goes through a period of having a functioning brain that is overpowered by emotions to buy transformers and junk food, when he does not have a functioning brain to begin with.

Someone stupid finally got in a funny

 

[MediExcalibur2012]

They announced a few days ago that Parappa is being remastered for PS4. I'm shocked he hasn't said anything about it

He made a post; However Adam Stackhouse stole it from him

 

[Jack Awful]

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Makes sense Chris would be into the "cute, simple characters explain how hard it is for the author to act like an adult" style of webcomics.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Makes sense Chris would be into the "cute, simple characters explain how hard it is for the author to act like an adult" style of webcomics.

Yeah, but the thing is, he is taking it seriously and probably expects others to do so as well.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

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The sad thing is, I don't think he gets that this is a joke. Like, in future I can imagine him blowing another tugboat on children's toys that he'll forget about a week later or applying for yet another credit card and justifying it on the grounds that a cartoon heart said it was okay. And you're always supposed to follow your heart. In fact, I'm going to call it now - in the future, someone will pull him up on his frivolous spending, and he'll use the "follow your heart" reasoning.

Still, it's good to see him indirectly acknowledging that the reason he's so poor is because he buys stupid crap he doesn't need.

 

[Flame the Sunbird]

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That's a cute little dramatic renactment of how Barb and Chris set 14 BC ablaze for insurance money...
Sorry Chris, no one wants to be your insurance money ever again...
Get a job.
Chris is telling everyone that his poor little heart wants to piss and burn money on transformers and McDonald's...
Chris is acting like everyone goes through a period of having a functioning brain that is overpowered by emotions to buy transformers and junk food, when he does not have a functioning brain to begin with.

Someone stupid finally got in a funny

Jessica calls out Watermelon! "You really are an unfunny dick...Christine, I seriously don't understand why you put up with his bullshit."

 

[bacterium]

Jessica calls out Watermelon! "You really are an unfunny dick...Christine, I seriously don't understand why you put up with his bullshit."

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Probably because Chris is too stupid to understand the irony. And Watermelon gives him money

 

[thismanlies]

Jessica calls out Watermelon! "You really are an unfunny dick...Christine, I seriously don't understand why you put up with his bullshit."

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I thought Bob's choice of fast food was Burger King.