Philosophy Tube / Oliver Lennard / Oliver "Olly" Thorn / Abigail Thorn - Breadtube's Patrick Bateman.

They are trying to use Vampirism as an allegory for domestic abuse, but they don't know what an allegory is, so they just show regular vampires and stack generic domestic abuse on top.
They are obviously going for something quirky like this
but the writing and acting is so far off it turns into self parody.
I read Vito Gesualdi's abortion of a comic book script and it was unironically better written than this.
The acting in the short clip above was, to the last man (including the late lamented Ian), better than anything Olly has or ever will do. He's not talented. He's not sexy whether presenting masc or larping as a woman. Whatever appeal he has will disappear alongside his hairline, and with his attitude and the godawful dialogue in this abomination of a film, you know he's a lousy fuck.

And to think, THIS is what Nebula has been promoting heavily as their major foray into high-quality original content. Lol. Lmao even. It sounds amateur from the top down, and doubly so with Wiskus trying to pull a Stan Lee/Quentin Tarantino and be the talent instead of the corpo.
 
I finished the movie. Honestly it wasn’t as incompetent of a movie as I thought it would be but I didn’t get the point of it. Seemed like it exists less as a movie with a plot or a point but more as a vehicle for olly to prance around as if he was a hot young girl. Which, yeah.
 
The only funny part of this short existing is that it has the same sort of Blue is the Warmest Color male feminism, executed the same way Tommy Wisseau would after The Room (if you know, you know), with the dialogue you could expect from a demonslop fanfic and since it was made by troons, the exact sort of people that would complain and make video essays about how much it sucks have to pretend its high art or it doesn't exist.

That's arguably worse, specially on the basis of its budget, than just straight up sucking.
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Like
Reactions: Pedophobe and Vecr
I got this too because it was bad movie night with my friends. (Our philosophy is that the thing that makes a bad movie funny is if it's an earnest effort. So this suited perfectly, since it was so drippingly sincere from beginning to end.)

Olly's performance was even more wince worthy than his dialogue. His facial expressions especially were cartoonish and uncomfortable to watch. If I was Morgana Ignis or Brandon Rogers, I would cut my acting reel from this movie and then also include the Olly parts, to make myself appear better at acting.

Screen Shot 2024-09-15 at 2.46.26 AM.png

Screen Shot 2024-09-15 at 3.10.43 AM.png

Screen Shot 2024-09-15 at 3.30.54 AM.png


Screen Shot 2024-09-15 at 3.55.46 AM.png


(You can make anyone look stupid by taking a picture of their face while it's in motion, but all of these faces, he deliberately held for the camera.)

The dialogue could get really bad though. The Harry Met Sally bit was horrible to sit through. It was clear throughout that Olly was deeply anxious to appear sexy to his weird horny audience. Like writing the waiter character as openly ogling him and unable to contain himself. At one point Morgana Ignis ostentatiously stepped between them, but Olly was so so dazzling that Brandon Rogers still only had eyes for him. You can tell Olly wrote the script already knowing which character he would be playing.

Other than that, and the jokes which were not my style of humor—the writing was, honestly, not as bad as I'd expected. The script clearly went through several drafts, and it ended up as a coherent product, which is more than you can say about a lot of Olly's skits on YouTube. The high level of melodrama made it an entertaining watch for a bad movie night.
 
Last edited:
more as a vehicle
There's a lot of extraneous worldbuilding that served no purpose to the plot. Despite being completely unrelated to an exploration of trauma through the (shitty) metaphor of vampirism, Fay's character specifically mentions that this universe has werewolves and mummies and that there's therapy for "the monster community" etc.

I've already seen it suggested that this might be an attempted pilot for a series. You know, they make a short and use it to pitch a show where Fay therapises monsters as a metaphor for the LGBT community while Belladonna learns to love again without the toxicity. Can you imagine? I'm rooting for Ollie if this is the case because it might be one of the worst things I've ever seen, and Dave Wiskus might use hatewatch viewing figures to greenlight such a production, and I would watch the shit out of Ollie stumbling through a godawful production of "Buffy the AGP Vampire".
 
Seemed like it exists less as a movie with a plot or a point but more as a vehicle for olly to prance around as if he was a hot young girl.
That's right, like every YouTube video he does, and everything else he does. His entire life in fact.

the writing was, honestly, not as bad as I'd expected. The script clearly went through several drafts, and it ended up as a coherent product, which is more than you can say about a lot of Olly's
Really? What exactly were you expecting? Being basically coherent is a pretty low bar, that's more or less the same as saying 'a plot exists'. That's somewhat less than the standard of quality normally required for a script to even make it to the pitching stage, let alone get all the way through production.

I've already seen it suggested that this might be an attempted pilot for a series.
Hadn't thought about that, but seems likely now you mention it. Taking X familiar established property (in this case classic horror literature/films) and mashing that together with something contemporary (such as gender ideology) is always popular with TV/film execs.

You know, they make a short and use it to pitch a show where Fay therapises monsters as a metaphor for the LGBT community while Belladonna learns to love again without the toxicity. Can you imagine?
So this is something I was wondering about. Olly kind of flirts with this idea that monsters are LGBTs, but then doesn't refrain from pointing out that the monsters are, you know, monstrous. They hurt and kill people and are abusive. Very problematic, babes.

In fact, you could easily spin it into a TERFish allegory: we have these grotesque abominations of nature living among us like parasites, yet we accept them as normal, and so on.
 
I can’t get over how much I disliked the hair/clothes/makeup. It’s something maybe a petite 19 year old actual woman could have pulled off. On choob it just exaggerates how he’s a big hulking man. Imagine how much the waiter actor laughed when he saw he had to pretend olly is breathtaking.

IMG_4505.jpeg
 
Last edited:
I can’t get over how much I disliked the hair/clothes/makeup. It’s something maybe a petite 19 year old actual woman could have pulled off. On choob it just exaggerates how he’s a big hulking man. Imagine how much the waiter actor laughed when he saw he had to pretend olly is breathtaking.

View attachment 6417465
Pure speculation, but I wouldn't be surprised if the inspiration for the style and setting was the Vampire: the Masquerade - Bloodlines game. I don't know it myself, but it has a cult following, and Olly is in the right age-range to have played it as a teenager. It also has decadent modern Los Angeles providing a backdrop for vampiric goings-on, and when I first saw Olly in the trailer I instantly thought 'I've seen that look somewhere before'.

x-best-vampire_-the-masquerade-bloodlines-characters-ranked.jpg

Not exactly the same obviously, but there are enough similarities there to suggest a link.
 
I can’t get over how much I disliked the hair/clothes/makeup. It’s something maybe a petite 19 year old actual woman could have pulled off. On choob it just exaggerates how he’s a big hulking man. Imagine how much the waiter actor laughed when he saw he had to pretend olly is breathtaking.

View attachment 6417465
I mean the actor is a gay man so…. Yeah no not even he would find Choob fetching.
You can tell by his expression and pose here, choob is trying to be dainty, and i think the top does camouflage his shoulders a bit ( not being directly next to anyone helps too ) but look at those giant hands!
 
I got this too because it was bad movie night with my friends. (Our philosophy is that the thing that makes a bad movie funny is if it's an earnest effort. So this suited perfectly, since it was so drippingly sincere from beginning to end.)

Olly's performance was even more wince worthy than his dialogue. His facial expressions especially were cartoonish and uncomfortable to watch. If I was Morgana Ignis or Brandon Rogers, I would cut my acting reel from this movie and then also include the Olly parts, to make myself appear better at acting.

View attachment 6416634
View attachment 6416671
View attachment 6416697

View attachment 6416729

(You can make anyone look stupid by taking a picture of their face while it's in motion, but all of these faces, he deliberately held for the camera.)

The dialogue could get really bad though. The Harry Met Sally bit was horrible to sit through. It was clear throughout that Olly was deeply anxious to appear sexy to his weird horny audience. Like writing the waiter character as openly ogling him and unable to contain himself. At one point Morgana Ignis ostentatiously stepped between them, but Olly was so so dazzling that Brandon Rogers still only had eyes for him. You can tell Olly wrote the script already knowing which character he would be playing.

Other than that, and the jokes which were not my style of humor—the writing was, honestly, not as bad as I'd expected. The script clearly went through several drafts, and it ended up as a coherent product, which is more than you can say about a lot of Olly's skits on YouTube. The high level of melodrama made it an entertaining watch for a bad movie night.
IMG_1008.png

This frame is as tempted as I’ve ever been to make something my profile picture. Good Lord.
 
Really? What exactly were you expecting? Being basically coherent is a pretty low bar, that's more or less the same as saying 'a plot exists'. That's somewhat less than the standard of quality normally required for a script to even make it to the pitching stage, let alone get all the way through production.
I'm just considering it the way I would treat any piece of media. I've seen plenty of movies/books where the writer failed to channel their emotional energy into a coherent story. That's the main thing I care about when it comes to a story. And credit where credit is due, Olly managed it here.

But that's just the writing. Almost every aspect of the presentation is tasteless, and Olly's performance is so actively painful to watch that to me, this could only be good for a "bad movie night."
 
After watching it I think it could have just been a YouTube sketch. This did not warrant a red carpet premiere (the fact he referred to this as him "going from YouTube to Hollywood" is pretty funny). Also keeping in mind that he made his parents watch this is deeply uncomfortable. Can you imagine inviting your parents to watch you make fake orgasm noises and talk about sexual acts in digusting detail? I think I'd rather die.

Brandon Rogers definitely could not be bothered being there, super mediocre performance and his character is basically just there to call Toob hot and sexy and provide some extra conflict/tension between Belladonna and Fay. Morgana and especially Toob were just bad. It was cringe and overly sexual. So basically what we all expected. Got to say I don't really see what the point was or what Toob was going for beyond "abuse bad" and vampirism being a metaphor for trauma which we also all saw coming a mile off (not saying everything needs a lesson or meaning but even for a character study of a Stockholm syndrome abuse victim it was too OTT to strike any chord). It was just extremely underwhelming. Like completely on the level of a student film project about domestic abuse, but we're supposed to find it novel because vampires. There was no real structure to it so it just sort of happens...and then you're left thinking "is that it?" Not the worst thing I've seen but as usual Toob hypes something up to seem like it's going to be much more than what it ends up being. Choob on.
 
While I was checking out the IMDB entry for Dracula's Ex-BoyGirlfriend the score just dropped from a baffling 7.3 to a still baffling 6.6
1000014905.jpg
Also at the bottom I saw 'Again Again' being recommended. Some other movie he teased last year. I think the entry is new, but there's no release date yet. No pics of Choob under the photos section. I'm afraid he's not done torturing our eyes for this year.
1000014903.jpg
 
I'm not really a film person, so forgive me for being ignorant. But is it normal to have these "short films" be filmed almost exclusively in one area? I haven't seen anyone mention this, so I assume it's normal. Based off of AssignedEva's script (Thank you again AssignedEva) it appears it's all done or almost all done at the restaurant - though to be fair, I haven't watched it myself, so I'm not sure.

It seems like a very boring premise in my opinion. The entire film being solely two people talking in a restaurant and then a waiter occasionally saying something. Maybe a flashback or two. Counting the whole thing is dialogue only, I would've assumed the script would've been... different. Not better per se, but... it kind of seems like the entire script was written in one day and the first draft was used. I guess it's my fault for assuming it would've had any emotions or love put into it, whether the premise was cringe or not, but still.

Even as a hate watch, I'm not sure I could bring myself to watch the whole thing.
 
Yeah it had no real plot and was almost entirely in the same area. The "same area" thing almost reminds me of a theatre production. Not that it would've been much better as live theatre, as virtually all of it is just two characters talking and Olly being insanely cringe the whole time.
 
It’s difficult not to find it repulsive through the lens of it being
1. Who it is, coming out with those tired, 2021-esque ‘choke me, daddy’ lines, and
2. It being a great, big, wide shouldered man, pretending to be a dainty girl doing so,
but there’s another reason why this wouldn’t have worked beyond the trans stuff.

Olly suffers from one of the big problems that FtMs do too, they don’t just want to be the other sex, they want to be the other sex, BUT SEXY AND YOUNG.

This glorified YouTube Short would still be cringe if he were female and dressed like that at his age, coming out with those lines, because he is too old, haggard, and it doesn’t work.

It is not convincing because he is not sexy, he is aged out of the part.
He needs to learn that if he wants to make it in Hollywood, starlets age out at 26, and he is way over the hill, baby.

I don’t know if this worldwide known saying, but keeping with the vampire, blood, meaty theme, he definitely looked like mutton dressed as lamb, and no-one on the crew had the balls to tell him that, because TRANS.
 
I'm not really a film person, so forgive me for being ignorant. But is it normal to have these "short films" be filmed almost exclusively in one area?
It depends. Is not uncommon but it is where a director can really express their voice. How its framed, blocked, lit, edited sets those that know how to use a camera from those that can only turn it on. In not wanker words, there are many ways you can show a dialogue heavy, same location exchange and make it lively and engaging. The people behind this did none because they were banking on the stellar Fleabag at home script to carry them. Theatre still has blocking, you have to know how you arrange things it isn't just people talking and suspension of disbelief.
 
Back