Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[PunkinMan]

Lost someone who helped raised me before I could speak, all I can say is damn, dammit, darn.

 

[AI generated waifu]

I reinstalled Facebook tonight for shits and giggles, just to be greeted with the news that a longtime acquaintance's husband of four years is "finding her true self" or whatever. While I'm not shocked, considering he cross-dressed on Halloween the past three years and looked the type, I am honestly mortified for her and baffled that she's choosing the support him and stay in a marriage to a fucking loser. She's got questionable self-esteem but I'm hoping once the shock wears off and she starts to realize the shit she's in, she'll quietly take off. She's an attractive woman in her early 30s with a career, they have no children, and she could easily bail now and find a guy who isn't a degenerate. I'm depressed.

I have hope for her

 

[DenseDeerFather]

The election is turning American acquaintances into retards. Maybe I'm just privileged or something because I live on the other side of the planet.

But mainly it's the troons that are like "IF TRUMP WINS, I'M GOING TO DIE SINCE I'M ONE OF HIS POLTICAL ENEMIES BECAUSE I'M TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS"

Shut the fuck up, Trump doesn't care about you.

Spoiler: IRL trooon trooper

On the other hand, I ran into an old schoolmate when traveling today and she had trooned out. It was for one of the dumbest fucking reasons. "I was watching gay porn and I found it so hot and I imagined what it would be like and then I realized I was trans"

?????

I pretended to be nice and understanding but I couldn't help but speak my mind when she said that she doesn't have dysphoria as being trans "is a feeling" so now she "feels" like using "hy/hym/hymself" in English and a butchering of our native male pronounces in our native language.

I mentioned dysphoria and she was like "No dense. You're cishet so you don't understand but you don't need dysphoria to be trans. That's just truscum rhetoric."

I was like "Cool," and changed the subject to anything else than tranny shit because I happened to be waiting at the bus but she got brainrot and brought up Chris Tyson and said people only hate him because he's trans and no one would have cared if he was cis. I brought up Dr. Disrepsect because I couldn't keep my mouth shut and she ignored it to say that the "Chris situation is anti-trans propaganda."

She kept rambling about more tranny nonsense because very recently there was a case of a tranny who had a long history of violence and rape, specifically against women. This person didn't chop off his dick so he got sent to the men's prison but wants to be moved over to the women's facility because he "got harassed by male inmates and is discouraged from transitioning."

My bus arrived at that point thankfully but holy shit I was about to explode on her because this stupid bitch just ignored key points about that particular case beyond the obvious like how that troon was described as lacking empathy, impulsive, manipulative, and tendency to lie and with no understanding or remorse for his actions. This person is a danger to women.

Troon got the offer to transition numerous times and has refused. There's a rise of male inmates claiming to be troons so they can try to be surrounded by women.

The case is still ongoing btw.
ETA: It should be mentioned that the troon and I weren't best buds or anything but we both were sort of "eccentric" at the school we attended and we occasionally talked about random internet shit, hence her knowing of Chris and the Doctor.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

On the other hand, I ran into an old schoolmate when traveling today and she had trooned out. It was for one of the dumbest fucking reasons. "I was watching gay porn and I found it so hot and I imagined what it would be like and then I realized I was trans"

Troons can't help but admit it's a fetish, can they? Thought that was also anti-trans rhetoric.

 

[DenseDeerFather]

Troons can't help but admit it's a fetish, can they? Thought that was also anti-trans rhetoric.

Ironically saying so is "truscum propaganda" as in "gatekeeping the trans experience".

They couldn't make it any clearer that no one is born troon and it's just something you choose based on coomer brainrot.

But that aside, it's just so sad to see how this shit is accepted and pushed everywhere. Feels like it's one step forward, five steps backwards for humanity.

Spoiler: edit ranting

ETA: It's also extra fucky when people try to force you into the cult. PL here but I am in the furthest end of being a tomboy. Hyper GNC, masculine hobbies, discomfort with feminine aesthetics and interests, and I seemingly cannot exist without someone going "Uhhh egg?"

No, fuck off.

"Uhhh transmasc?"

No, leave me alone.

"Uhhh Bigender?"

That's intersex and it's a birth defect.

It's horrendous in fandom spaces too. I avoid those out of principle. Got grilled in my younger years about it because I refused to write trannies into my stories even though I give such a "transmasc egg/he/him lesbian" vibe or whatever.

Heaven forbid people exist who don't adhere to the most stereotypical gender norms.

 

[Dago]

I work with a pooner and she is just odd. She got her tits lobbed off and got two months payed time off for it. Shes back now under a new name (which so happens to be biblical) and we were in the break room talking about listening to music and playlists and what not. She chimes in with the fact she doesn't listen to music at work but rather audio erotica. Why are they all porn addicted freaks?

 

[Sourceress]

Y'all I'm sorry if this doesn't fit this thread, but I can't figure out where else to put it and I am losing my dang mind. I'm in am MMO guild (I know, I know) with someone I'm about 99.9999% sure is a troon and today they posted an advert for some Japanese kiddy porn game* in the guild chat and I swear I almost vomited. I hate MMO drama so I haven't said anything but holy shit I am boiling trying to keep from calling them on how sick that shit is. What is it with trannies and child porn? jfc.

* It's the usual "this is a pervert game for perverts featuring a bunch of 'women' who look like twelve year olds with boob jobs but who are all really thousand year old dragons so it doesn't make us pedos if we jack off to this we promise" kind of pedoshit.

 

[Poonocchio]

Y'all I'm sorry if this doesn't fit this thread, but I can't figure out where else to put it and I am losing my dang mind. I'm in am MMO guild (I know, I know) with someone I'm about 99.9999% sure is a troon and today they posted an advert for some Japanese kiddy porn game* in the guild chat and I swear I almost vomited. I hate MMO drama so I haven't said anything but holy shit I am boiling trying to keep from calling them on how sick that shit is. What is it with trannies and child porn? jfc.

* It's the usual "this is a pervert game for perverts featuring a bunch of 'women' who look like twelve year olds with boob jobs but who are all really thousand year old dragons so it doesn't make us pedos if we jack off to this we promise" kind of pedoshit.

You should say something to your GM because that's disgusting. Even if it's not loli. Unless you're playing FFXIV then the GM probably has a whole library of it. Is it an "18+ guild"?

 

[Sourceress]

You should say something to your GM because that's disgusting. Even if it's not loli. Unless you're playing FFXIV then the GM probably has a whole library of it. Is it an "18+ guild"?

Yeah, thank you for the push. I think I will have to say something. I'm pretty sure the guild is more or less 18+ (or at least coincidentally there are no underage members) but this is the first time anyone's ever posted something like this (and of course it's that person lol). Usually it's super chill so I was really shocked to see this and nobody say anything.

 

[frippery]

A

Yeah, thank you for the push. I think I will have to say something. I'm pretty sure the guild is more or less 18+ (or at least coincidentally there are no underage members) but this is the first time anyone's ever posted something like this (and of course it's that person lol). Usually it's super chill so I was really shocked to see this and nobody say anything.

A simple "what the fuck bro" would suffice

 

[MongInTheMirror]

This might be a bit generalized/heavy for this board, but how would you guys approach the topic of the people you've discussed here having genuinely bad things subsequently happen to them? I don't mean this directly related to the trooning etc necessarily, just in general. I'm talking like life-shattering trauma that's not necessarily their own doing.

Think house burning down/ terminal cancer diagnosis/ spouse murdered/ child death kind of level

I'm not gonna equivocate and pretend this is "for a friend". My idiot former friend that I still deeply care about despite herself has had something unambiguously fucking devastating happen. Do you reach out anyway, despite being reliably informed that you're a Nazi? This is the kind of shit I genuinely wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and I feel legitimately awful for her. Do you continue to respect the request for distance? I can't decide if it would help or harm to reach out at this point - it's bad enough that I'd feel bad ignoring such misfortune befalling someone I shared a college dorm with for a couple weeks, let alone someone who used to consider me her BFF... but if she doesn't want to hear from her exiled TERF friend I'd hate to somehow make this situation even worse, you know?

 

[glass_houses]

@MongInTheMirror you are in a very much a damned if you do / damned if you don't situation. If you don't get in contact with her, I guarantee that she will think of you as the arsehole who refused to send well wishes to her, but I have no doubt that if you do reach out, she will tell you to fuck right off.

However...

If you want to let her know that she still has people who care about her outside of the "queer community" this is your chance.

I'd recommend that you send her a politically neutral message about how fondly you remember her, miss her company despite your differences, and how upset you are over her current circumstances etc. At best she'll ignore you, at worst you'll get an earful. Troons and pooners like to babble on about how supportive of each other, but despite the token Gofraudme's for their "friends" in extremis, in reality they fight over the merest scraps of attention and are incredibly hostile to people who are too weighed down in their own dramas to pander to someone else's cluster b wanking. If your friend is ever going to get that wake up call, this is it.

That said, if she asks for money or accommodation, shut down that shit straight away. Once she latches on, she'll never let go.

 

[FedPostalService]

This might be a bit generalized/heavy for this board, but how would you guys approach the topic of the people you've discussed here having genuinely bad things subsequently happen to them? I don't mean this directly related to the trooning etc necessarily, just in general. I'm talking like life-shattering trauma that's not necessarily their own doing.

Think house burning down/ terminal cancer diagnosis/ spouse murdered/ child death kind of level

I'm not gonna equivocate and pretend this is "for a friend". My idiot former friend that I still deeply care about despite herself has had something unambiguously fucking devastating happen. Do you reach out anyway, despite being reliably informed that you're a Nazi? This is the kind of shit I genuinely wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and I feel legitimately awful for her. Do you continue to respect the request for distance? I can't decide if it would help or harm to reach out at this point - it's bad enough that I'd feel bad ignoring such misfortune befalling someone I shared a college dorm with for a couple weeks, let alone someone who used to consider me her BFF... but if she doesn't want to hear from her exiled TERF friend I'd hate to somehow make this situation even worse, you know?

I had something similar with a true and honest woman, an exgirlfriend who had sone really bad stuff happen within her family.

We hadn’t been in touch for a while so I though it might have been weird if I reached out to her.

I regret it it as it seems that things got pretty bad for her later.

You will lose nothing by reaching out. The worst than will happen is someone you think really dislikes you confirms the actually really dislike like you. That’s fine, you can forget them if that happens.

I get little pangs of guilt from time time to time and wonder if I could have helped and wish I’d reached out to this girl.

 

[Fapcop]

This might be a bit generalized/heavy for this board, but how would you guys approach the topic of the people you've discussed here having genuinely bad things subsequently happen to them? I don't mean this directly related to the trooning etc necessarily, just in general. I'm talking like life-shattering trauma that's not necessarily their own doing.

Think house burning down/ terminal cancer diagnosis/ spouse murdered/ child death kind of level

I'm not gonna equivocate and pretend this is "for a friend". My idiot former friend that I still deeply care about despite herself has had something unambiguously fucking devastating happen. Do you reach out anyway, despite being reliably informed that you're a Nazi? This is the kind of shit I genuinely wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and I feel legitimately awful for her. Do you continue to respect the request for distance? I can't decide if it would help or harm to reach out at this point - it's bad enough that I'd feel bad ignoring such misfortune befalling someone I shared a college dorm with for a couple weeks, let alone someone who used to consider me her BFF... but if she doesn't want to hear from her exiled TERF friend I'd hate to somehow make this situation even worse, you know?

Try and reach out. If it’s not welcome you’ll know.

And you’ll sleep better knowing that you did the decent.

 

[MongInTheMirror]

Thanks so much guys I really appreciate the suggestions. I'm trying to step lightly because (as probably mentioned before about her) she is textbook BPD so she tends to interpret anything said or done by someone she's put in the 'bad person/bigot' camp accordingly. So I'm mainly concerned that she would read any attempt to commiserate as me gloating about her misfortune, as mental as that sounds. I've seen her do similar before to other former friends, just in less extreme circumstances.

I think I'll tentatively reach out through some mutuals who still talk to her to test the water first, then proceed based on how that goes. It seems the safest, most sensitive way to do it I think?

 

[FedPostalService]

Thanks so much guys I really appreciate the suggestions. I'm trying to step lightly because (as probably mentioned before about her) she is textbook BPD so she tends to interpret anything said or done by someone she's put in the 'bad person/bigot' camp accordingly. So I'm mainly concerned that she would read any attempt to commiserate as me gloating about her misfortune, as mental as that sounds. I've seen her do similar before to other former friends, just in less extreme circumstances.

I think I'll tentatively reach out through some mutuals who still talk to her to test the water first, then proceed based on how that goes. It seems the safest, most sensitive way to do it I think?

I would say if she throws this in your face you’ve done what you can. You can wash your hands of her with a clean conscience.

 

[grenouille crétine]

I think I'll tentatively reach out through some mutuals who still talk to her to test the water first, then proceed based on how that goes. It seems the safest, most sensitive way to do it I think?

You know your situation best; this sounds like a good way to proceed if you don’t think direct message is wise. If you do want to speak directly to her or it gets to that point through moots, my recommendation is something very short and sweet, no need to bring up the past: “I heard about what happened. You/your family etc are in my thoughts. I am so sorry.”

Having some mutual acquaintances could also be very helpful in this case. Depending on what happened and what you’re willing to do, maybe all of you can provide a little support through collective efforts: eg if they are in need of basics after losing a house, you chip in some clothes someone else can bring over, if they are dealing with the loss of a loved one and too broken to go grocery shopping you send a simple meal or two over. I know that may veer into gibs territory so if you can’t and don’t want to, then don’t, but life-shattering trauma is well, life-shattering. Basic things become impossible and you don’t care to do them anyway.

You remember who was there when you were at your lowest. That said, people can be disappointing, and if they’re still consistently digging even after you throw down a rope or some dirt to even the foundation (not the clearest comparison but eh), they’ll just pull you down too. I hope she appreciates your compassion and that however horrible the event was, she can see who really cares and matters in her life moving forward. Good luck

 

[Siegmeyer of Catarina]

So I'm not sure if this post necessarily belongs ITT as the person I have "lost" isn't the one who trooned out, but as my girlfriend is the Handmaiden type I don't really have anywhere else to share this.

A few years ago I met and became friends with a guy at work, and we stayed in touch after moving on to new jobs. As we both worked in the centre of the city, we would meet for lunch every week or two and shoot the shit, and as I will admit to not having that many truly close friends I really valued these regular meetings.

After this had been going on for a while, he broke up with his (true and honest) girlfriend and before too long had entered a new relationship with a pooner (of the "maybe looks kind of like a waifish teenage boy if you squint" variety rather than the "overweight roid menace" variety). Hiding my powerlevel in the interest of not torpedoing a friendship, all I did at the time was ask him if he was bi, as he hadn't mentioned this previously. His response was the kind of "oh, I guess so" that suggested perhaps he hadn't actually considered this until I pointed it out.

Anyway, you can probably see where this is going. Our lunch meetings dropped down to once or twice a month, then once every couple of months, and now the guy doesn't even bother responding to my texts even though I've made multiple attempts at reaching out to try and keep the friendship alive. It wasn't like this when he was in a relationship with a woman not in denial about her femaleness, so I know he's not One Of Those Guys who shuts out all their friends when they start dating somebody. So what gives? I did meet his partner once or twice. Maybe they have some kind of a sixth sense for "transphobes" and as a result this guy isn't allowed to hang out with me anymore.

Whatever it is, it's sad and I'm sad about it. Thanks for reading frens.

 

[Fapcop]

So I'm not sure if this post necessarily belongs ITT as the person I have "lost" isn't the one who trooned out, but as my girlfriend is the Handmaiden type I don't really have anywhere else to share this.

A few years ago I met and became friends with a guy at work, and we stayed in touch after moving on to new jobs. As we both worked in the centre of the city, we would meet for lunch every week or two and shoot the shit, and as I will admit to not having that many truly close friends I really valued these regular meetings.

After this had been going on for a while, he broke up with his (true and honest) girlfriend and before too long had entered a new relationship with a pooner (of the "maybe looks kind of like a waifish teenage boy if you squint" variety rather than the "overweight roid menace" variety). Hiding my powerlevel in the interest of not torpedoing a friendship, all I did at the time was ask him if he was bi, as he hadn't mentioned this previously. His response was the kind of "oh, I guess so" that suggested perhaps he hadn't actually considered this until I pointed it out.

Anyway, you can probably see where this is going. Our lunch meetings dropped down to once or twice a month, then once every couple of months, and now the guy doesn't even bother responding to my texts even though I've made multiple attempts at reaching out to try and keep the friendship alive. It wasn't like this when he was in a relationship with a woman not in denial about her femaleness, so I know he's not One Of Those Guys who shuts out all their friends when they start dating somebody. So what gives? I did meet his partner once or twice. Maybe they have some kind of a sixth sense for "transphobes" and as a result this guy isn't allowed to hang out with me anymore.

Whatever it is, it's sad and I'm sad about it. Thanks for reading frens.

Feels man! Lots of possibilities, but many of them revolve around said pooner being a BPD case that doesn’t allow him to breathe, or that his new “friend circle” thanks to her consists of people of gender and freaks.

Or maybe she has brought him down so low that he’s not interested in company. Depression does that to people.

I’m not going to depress you with the other possibility that involved recruiting him to the cult and trooning out. And avoiding old friends because of shame.

When a pooner or tranny enters the scene, it’s always bad news.

 

[Idiot Sandwich the 3rd]

Yet another update on my friend's situation. He now says he has DID.
He is getting into personal lolcow territory now, I think is all gonna be downhill from here.

Spoiler: New Update! little PL

He told me and our friend group that the guy we met as him is dead and that's not longer him, he now identifies himself as a fictional character saying "now my name is *insert fictional character's name*
Jesus fucking Christ. I genuinely don't know what to think about that, it is really hard to believe him after he said that, but at the same time it makes me sad thinking that someone i knew changed for the worst and he only continues to get worse and worse. I know this is all delusion, but really this is how it feels when someone you care about gets into this mess of an ideology, you lose someone, and him putting it with those words really makes me sad. I knew he was unable to be saved at this point, but man, it feels frustrating.