Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

"No, stalker, you will not beat me to Patposting in the Kiwi Farms. Your reply will be immobilized and held until my post arrives. Enjoy your clock ratings."

No child. This is felony internet server harassment. The FBI knows that I posted it first. The FBI knows that you didn't. This is why your life is already over, and it's why you're going to prison. Enjoy.
 
No child. This is felony internet server harassment. The FBI knows that I posted it first. The FBI knows that you didn't. This is why your life is already over, and it's why you're going to prison. Enjoy.
Just online lag, I did everything correct, I was pressing all the right buttons, I did nothing wrong.
 
There's another explosive material made in Germany little over a decade ago that will be used in the future but currently it's so sensitive that just touching it can cause it to explode. If you move it, it'll explode. If it's in bright light, it'll explode. If you leave it undisturbed in a glass vial, it'll explode. If water touches it, it'll explode.
I just thought about it and it exploded somewhere.
I mean, this guy's a real jerk!
But have you noticed that even worse, he's fat?
 
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Leaked opening chapter:

ChatGPT prompt: "Write a passage in the style of a thriller novel about an obese fiction author named Patrick Tomlinson scaling the Northwestern Mutual Tower in Milwaukee. He is armed with a long-barreled P90 and intends to assassinate the leader of a violent protest march via sniping."

The wind howled around the Northwestern Mutual tower, a chilling symphony that mingled with the distant roar of the city below. Patrick Tomlinson, a man whose bulk had once made him an object of ridicule, now moved with surprising agility. He pressed himself against the cool, steel façade, his heart pounding not from exertion but from the anticipation of what lay ahead. The weight of his body felt inconsequential; in this moment, he was a predator poised for the perfect shot.

His fingers brushed against the long-barreled P90 slung across his back, the cold metal a reassuring reminder of his purpose. The city sprawled beneath him, teeming with protesters—their chants rising like a toxic tide, fueled by anger and chaos. They had come to claim their voices, but Patrick had come for something far more lethal. He had spent years perfecting this moment, honing his skills with the precision of a craftsman sharpening his tools.

As he edged further up the side of the building, the city lights flickered below, illuminating the sea of bodies that roiled in the square. At the center stood their leader, a figure clad in dark clothing, shouting incendiary words that ignited the crowd like a match to gasoline. Patrick narrowed his eyes, feeling the familiar rush of adrenaline course through him. This was not just a mission; it was a climax he had been plotting since his days as an overlooked author, relegated to writing stories that no one wanted to read.

He paused, muscles taut, as he reached a narrow ledge. The rooftop loomed above, a haven of shadows and silence. Patrick's mind raced, plotting out every detail. He had read the statistics, analyzed the angles—he knew he had one chance. One bullet to silence a voice that stirred the masses into a frenzy.

The wind gusted again, and he steadied himself, focusing on the target below. He adjusted the scope, his breath steadying as the view sharpened. The world around him fell away, reduced to a single point—an intersection of fate and free will. His finger hovered over the trigger, a momentary shudder of doubt creeping in. But he dismissed it; the weight of the world had always been too much to bear. This time, he would not falter.

With the muffled chaos of the march ringing in his ears, he squeezed the trigger, the shot echoing in the night, decisive as the closing of a chapter. And just like that, Patrick Tomlinson became more than just a man; he became a legend—a dark author penning the final lines of a violent tale.

And a second chapter:

ChatGPT prompt: "Write a passage in the style of a noir thriller novel about a woman named Nikki Robinson seducing a right-wing militia leader named Daquan Washington in a Milwaukee bar. Nikki is acting as a honeypot so Daquan can be captured and interrogated."
The smoky haze of the Milwaukee bar clung to the air like a lingering secret, and the low hum of jazz wrapped around the dimly lit room. Nikki Robinson sat at the bar, her red lipstick a bold slash against the muted tones of her fitted black dress. She twirled a strand of her dark hair, casting coy glances towards the corner table where Daquan Washington, the notorious militia leader, nursed a whiskey like it was liquid courage.

Nikki had studied him long enough to know the weight of his presence; he commanded the room with a confidence that bordered on arrogance. His broad shoulders filled out the leather jacket, and the glint of steel from the weapon holstered at his side hinted at a man who thrived on intimidation. But tonight, she was the predator, and he was the prey.

As she slid off her barstool, her heels clicked against the worn wooden floor, each step deliberate, drawing his gaze like a moth to flame. Daquan looked up, his eyes narrowing as she approached, a flicker of interest sparking in the depths of his dark irises.

“Mind if I join you?” she purred, leaning against the edge of his table, her voice sultry but laced with mischief. He leaned back, a slow smirk creeping across his face, the kind that promised trouble.

“I don’t mind a pretty face,” he replied, his tone dripping with charm, but Nikki sensed the steel beneath. She slid into the seat opposite him, letting the dim light play on her features, careful to mask her true intentions behind a veil of allure.

“I hear you run this town,” she said, her words honeyed with flirtation. “What’s a girl gotta do to get on your radar?”

Daquan chuckled, the sound low and rough. “Stick around, sweetheart. I might be willing to share a few secrets.”

Nikki leaned in closer, her heart racing beneath the facade. “I like secrets,” she whispered, letting her fingertips brush the rim of his glass. “Especially the dangerous kind.”

His interest deepened, and she could almost see the gears turning in his mind, the wheels of ambition spinning faster at the promise of what he thought was easy prey. She was playing a dangerous game, but she had trained for this, had rehearsed every line and smile.

As the night wore on, the tension thickened, and Nikki expertly steered the conversation towards the militia’s activities, careful to sow doubt and encourage his bravado. Every laugh, every touch, brought her closer to the moment they had set in motion. But she couldn’t forget the stakes; this wasn’t just seduction—it was a trap.

“Let’s get out of here,” Daquan said suddenly, his voice low and conspiratorial. “I know a place where we can talk… more privately.”

Nikki’s pulse quickened, a mix of excitement and dread. She had him exactly where they wanted him, but the thought of crossing that threshold made her stomach churn. “Lead the way,” she said, her smile unwavering.

In the darkened alley behind the bar, the world felt both exhilarating and perilous, the shadows closing in as Daquan stepped closer. But before he could say another word, the trap sprung. Flashing lights illuminated the alley, and a swarm of agents emerged from the dark, surrounding them.

Nikki stood frozen for a split second, her heart pounding in her ears. She had played her part well, but now the game was about to change. Daquan’s eyes widened, realization dawning too late as they closed in.

“Thought you could get away with it, huh?” she said, a cold edge slipping into her voice as she stepped back, watching the chaos unfold. In that moment, she was no longer the seductress; she was the hunter, and he was caught in the web she had woven.
 
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Pat should be one of the most prolific writers of our time if he actually wrote what he didn't know.

I'm talking like, reams and reams of prose.
He is and there are, they just all look like this:
Screenshot 2024-09-19 202445.png
So he himself can look like this:
pat3.jpg
 
He should write a novel about uncovering the conspiracy behind the child stalker cult, "The Da Vinci Code" style.
I've always thought that's his best option for writing something worth reading. Kind of a Foucault's Pendulum style work. But it would require self-awareness about his own situation, so never happening.

"Write what you know. Write what you don't know. Write what nobody knows." Fucking what? Don't quit your day job, or in Rick's case, go find one.
 
Oh...god please tell me this means what I think this means and he is writing his own version of The Turner Diaries, i.e. a lengthy seethe "future history" work about drumpf taking office again and employing internet trolls as his SS to exterminate brave and handsome and not-even-slightly-fat-and-bitchtitted dissent while his own self insert (by which I mean a character based on himself he writes into the novel as the hero, not the sturdy plug nikkki has been making him wear after one too many post-pegging accidents) uses his lifetime of military and scientific experience and expertise to lead the resistance and eventually march on the White House

....wait what the fuck am I saying? even if it were he would never fucking finish it
Nah, he's gonna do some climate Apocalypse solar punk shit.
Maybe he'll team up with MovieBob to write a story about how eradicating the MayoGhouls enabled fat faggots with bitch tits everywhere to get the future they deserved.
 
Pig man is now an expert in *shakes magic 8 ball* Christianity!
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God tells us never to bear false witness, thus we are all obligated to not bear false witness. however, the Bible also directly tells us through Samson (who died because he told the secret of his strength to the whore he was in love with and knew was trying to kill him) that you are not obligated to tell anyone anything, either. especially not people who want you dead, your children raped and brainwashed, and they think it's funny.

you are not forced to bear witness, only obligated to not bear false witness.

ergo, 1.2 GPA.
 
"Write what you don't know." -Patrick S. Authorson
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Writing what you don't know is a really good way to write stupid, ignorant bullshit that is easily picked apart and made fun of by people who do know what you're on about. Artistic license and suspension of disbelief will only cover so many sins, even in sci-fi/fantasy.
 
God tells us never to bear false witness, thus we are all obligated to not bear false witness. however, the Bible also directly tells us through Samson (who died because he told the secret of his strength to the whore he was in love with and knew was trying to kill him) that you are not obligated to tell anyone anything, either. especially not people who want you dead, your children raped and brainwashed, and they think it's funny.

you are not forced to bear witness, only obligated to not bear false witness.

ergo, 1.2 GPA.
Bears are kinda shitty witnesses anyway, they only care about honey or picnick baskets.
 
Fuck my ass I just started work and saw this and now I am laughing my fucking ass off in a conference call.
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Pig man gets it lightly hinted to him by Fatjeeta to stop feeding the troll, and responds with what may be one of his finest oinks in recent memory


Calling pat a fat faggot (with bitch tits) is officially a matter of national security in pig lore.

Also THE INTERNET IS REAL LIFE STALKER
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I didn't know Rick believed in the interdimensional Merge
 
Eat what you like. Eat what you don't like. Eat what nobody likes. You're creating bitch tits. Fill them with whatever you want.
Jimmy Ricky eat world
Bears are kinda shitty witnesses anyway, they only care about honey or picnick baskets.
Wrong as always, stalker child, bears hang out in the sauna at the gym, enjoy prison where they also sometimes hang out.
 
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