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Anna o' Brien / Glitter + Lazers / GlitterandLazers - Fat, drunk, consoomer attention whore who would rather eat and drink herself to death than endure a single negative emotion
I read this whole thread before Ozempic/Wegovy were a big thing, I came back thinking she wouldn't be a land whale with these drugs on the market and with her being rich and having access to them... but nope still super fat.
The problem with treating addicts is that if they refuse to do the hard work in examining and facing the reasons behind their addiction, they're going to go right back to the way they were before treatment... that's if treatment even helped them at all. Add severe NPD to the mix and you have Anna forcing herself through the chemical barrier to cram food and alcohol into the empty space where her soul should be in a doomed attempt to feel whole.
Do you think the lymphatic massage lady can charge more for giant clients who take way longer to finish? I'm sure she couches it in a more polite way, like "I charge by the hour", instead of "I charge by square footage of flesh".
I suspect that the majority of this woman's clients would be obese. Her hands must be as strong as steel... and her sense of smell as dead as a flattened possum on a motorway.
I had people who can’t handle basic problem solving. If she had said, “excuse me, could I sit in that chair?” The guy would’ve undoubtedly given it to her. Is that so hard? Probably yes when your self esteem is wafer thin.
Just random but as I was scrolling IG I had to do a double take (and not because Ferris is a senior citizen):
The woman on the far left is comedian/writer Bridget Everett. She has a show on HBO called Somebody, Somewhere. It’s ok. But damn did I think she was a slimmed down Anna for a moment. Bridget is 12 years older than Anna but aging wise I’d say they’re about the same though Bridget has much better skin.
This would be best case scenario for Anna at this point. Not the HBO show (lord forbid) but getting down to a still obese but manageable weight.
Would lipo alone or the ‘messing about with fat’ surgery she’s had make her lymphatic drainage even worse? I once saw a video of lipo and it looked brutal - basically shoving a rod shaped vacuum around and not being gentle about it. Surely that does damage to small vessels? Any surgery can mess up nerves as well. Is lipo going to do her any good at all (I know it’s not lipo it’s fat squeezing but the point remains, mucking about in there might make it worse.?)
I once saw a video of lipo and it looked brutal - basically shoving a rod shaped vacuum around and not being gentle about it. Surely that does damage to small vessels?
That made me curious to go look at the lipo procedure…
Here is her surgeon performing lipedema lipo starting at 2:15. He starts out jabbing a rod with a laser around the leg to “emulsify” the fat, then jabs around it with the rod to vacuum the emulsified fat out, which he describes as “having a foaming quality to it”.
Here is another lipedema surgeon you can watch manually squeeze out fluid and lipedema granules through a hole in the patients leg.
I might actually watch this one. Off to the liquor cabinet!!
Aaaaand.... fuck it, let's do a recap because reasons.
I’m just going to do a running commentary instead of timestamps because reasons.
She opens by explaining that she’s in a hotel gym. No shit. She claims it’s ‘pretty nice.’
Using TrainWell, which is what CoPilot’s become. She is using headphones to get her instructions from the app.
She proclaims she asked ‘her’ aka: the app to give her a beginner workout. At first, she gives an almost disgusted scoffing chuckle and proclaims ‘I can’t imagine it’s going to be that hard.’ But after a split second of thought, she says ‘watch it be so hard.’ And then waffles around stating that she’s got to maintain something, she doesn’t want it to be a competing experience and she just wants it to be enjoyable… I think. Because I’m drinking and losing focus as this weeble just stands in the gym holding her enormous headphones and giggles at her camera.
I have nothing against using workout apps. I myself use workout aids to keep shit interesting (namely ‘workout dice’ which are big foam dice you toss and do the workouts that pop up on them - it adds variety during my lift days, which tend to focus on upper body - and ‘dumbbell stacks’ which have workouts that will target fucking everything. I draw 20 cards at random and do those on my ‘I need to get some gym time in and don’t have a real plan’ days, so at least once a week.
I am not against modifications if 100% proper form is outside of your capabilities - it'd be hypocritical of me to be so. If it’s outside of my range of motion thanks to the very prevalent disabilities I have due to abusing the fuck out of my musculoskeletal system throughout my career, then I do mild modifications that still target the same muscle groups as the original exercise, and ramp up the rep number by an additional 50% to give the muscles targeted the same amount of work despite the ‘ease’ of the routine.
Example: shredded cartilage and fusions in my back makes pushups very painful and result in muscle spasms and pinched nerves, and a displaced shoulder makes a standard pushup not feasible due to muscular tears. But I still like burpees. Burpees are done with a knee-based, wide arm pushup, with a hop onto the feet into a high-plank after the pushup is complete and then completion of the rest of the burpee, with a gentle ease from a high plank back onto the knees for the next pushup. When I am doing burpees as part of a Dumbell Stacks card exercises, the card calls 8 burpees; instead I do 12 since I’m modifying the exercise. Still gets the arms burning and the rest of the body worked, minimizes strain on the decimated portions of my spine and allows my arm to move the full 90 degrees required to perform a pushup rather than the 45 it moves with hands placed for a standard pushup.
It does drive me batty that she’s plugging for a pay-for-instruction app when there’s plenty of free plans out there, or one-time-purchase items that’ll give you a very good workout plan. Or something that randomizes shit like the aforementioned workout dice or dumbbell stacks. There’s free challenges online - Strava is shockingly full of them in its blog and community side. There’s LOTS of shit out there like that. Also there’s the ‘go to the gym and ask the gym bros what they do to get cut arms and a strong core’ option, but that’d involve interaction with real people so that’s far above Anna’s pay grade.
Sorry, got distracted. Drinking and resuming the video.
I’M SO TYPE A shaddup.
She says the app doesn’t have a walking warmup. She’s going to do it anyway because she wants to do a little bit extra and warm up her joints. Going to do 5 minutes on the treadmill. I pity the machine.
Actually, it’s a good commercial-grade treadmill, and she doesn’t have it at an incline. She’s definitely doing less than 3 mph on it based on belt speed, though - I’m estimating 2.5, but am too lazy right now to go upstairs and match belt speeds with my own treadmill to dial that in (my parrot’s asleep and would break out of his cage and eat my face if I disturbed him).
Walk form is still terrible. She’s pumping her arms hard and pretty much stomping while leaning over instead of just keeping her arms down and swinging naturally with a tall posture. Here I thought RunLab was supposed to fix that shit.
Bitch almost falls off the treadmill as she dismounts, and you hear the squeak of her shoes as she skids on the gym floor after stepping off the device. Yikes! The only time I personally hear this is during half-marathon efforts after 55 mile indoor bike trainer rides for triathlon training when I’ve sweated so fucking much my socks are soaked and I had to put the elevation of the belt at 0% so my feet stop sliding on a sweat-wetted belt.
She proclaims it’s the first time she’s maintained a set pace since surgery so it was much harder than expected. YIKES. She’s very out of breath.
Her calves ‘have shrunk’ and her compression socks ‘go up too easily now’. Uh huh, I believe you.
Windmills. Not properly performed. I have difficulty with this on one side due to aforementioned permanently displaced shoulder, so my arm doesn’t go straight up - hence why I do this weighted to increase the work of the muscles of the partially-elevated arm. All other portions are to form, though. The upper arm is supposed to go straight up. You are supposed to look at that lifted hand while you reach down with your other hand for proper engagement of muscles in your upper back. You are not supposed to bend your knees. You go as low as possible with a flat back, hinging at your hips for the motion. Touching the floor is not a requirement - going low without bending the knees and maintaining a flat back is.
Hip abduction: Should be slower and more deliberate, but not terrible. It’s a balance exercise. To increase difficulty, it can be done with resistance bands. Also for more difficulty, start with your feet side by side, lift the knee of the leg working straight forward as if you’re going to step forward, then swing at the hip while keeping the body upright until it’s off to the side, bring back to the forward position, and step straight down. The rotation of the entire body is unnecessary and does less work than the motion of the leg with a stationary frame will. But I don’t believe she has the capability to balance for the proper exercise, so this isn’t a bad take on it.
Jumping Jacks: I will honestly say I prefer these step-out jumping jacks she’s doing to her actually jumping for jumping jacks. Lower impact on her knees. Good job, Anna!!
Goblet Squats: FUCK YOU, ANNA. These are not proper goblet squats. You also aren’t doing pendulum squats or swing squats, which is the only variant that’d allow all this hinging at the hips to bring your back forward in a squat. Proper goblet squat? Hold the weight in front of your chest (more like in front of your upper chest, like it’s a goblet full of delicious Fireball Whiskey that you are going to drink from). Go straight down into a squat as low as you can, keeping your back flat and upright - keep that ‘goblet’ in front of your face so you don’t spill your tasty drink. Rise back up from that deep squat. You don’t fucking dangle your goblet between your fucking drink at any time. The pendulum squats? You swing those dumbbells behind you as you go into a hinged-forward half-squat, then come out of the squat into an upright stance while swinging those dumbbells in front of you, ending almost in a press position. Swing squats? You swing that dumbbell between your legs in a deep, wide-stance squat, then swing it forward as you come straight up. All motion is at the hips, back remains flat. YOU NEVER STOOP AND HUNKER OVER LIKE ANNA. GAAAAAAH.
Drinking to calm down. Continuing.
Oh shit, she has an achy lower back. This is what improperly performed squats does to you, Anna. Your lower back shouldn’t be engaged at all - it should be core engagement to keep your back flat, and all motion comes from the hips and the knees. Dunce. She proclaims that she forgot ‘what it feels like when you first start workout out.’ She keeps professing that getting started sucks.
IT SHOULD NOT SUCK WHEN YOU FIRST START, ANNA.
Please, all, if your workout sucks when you start, you don’t fucking push through the suck. This means your form is improper, and/or you’re doing far too much without the baseline fitness to do what you’re doing. You should feel worn with warm muscles and perhaps a bit tired at the end of your set. It shouldn’t hurt. You shouldn’t have aches, especially in your back (any ‘aches’ should just be muscular’ - like your quads the first time you ride a bicycle up a 15% gradient without dying/hopping off the machine to push it). It should NOT SUCK (unless you’re aiming for a workout to suck - like doing hill reps up that 15% gradient because you’re a psychopath who wants to build quad strength for an attack on a virtual Alpe du Huez where you’re aiming to summit in <60 minutes).
Just remember, if your workout sucks balls, you won’t stick with it. You have to make a workout you enjoy doing, and that leaves you feeling good and motivated to do again. I’m not saying don’t challenge yourself - I’m saying push yourself just enough such that you’re at your mental limit, then go just a smidge more to prove to yourself that you’re stronger than you think you are. Then take pride in that, and think about how you can go even further, lift even more, swim a little long, the next time you work out - and you’ll want to do it just to prove you can. If you can’t? You just had an off day - you need more rest - and then you attack it again. DO. NOT. GO. UNTIL. IT. SUCKS.
Refill. Back.
Bent-over rows: Completely improper. Go figure. Your back is suppose to remain completely flat to target the muscles in your arms, specifically your triceps. She is utilizing all of her back and minimizing engagement of the muscles this exercise is supposed to target.
Knee touches: I have no issue with her using the wall to support herself during this typically-done-upright-and-jogging exercise. She doesn’t have the balance or stamina to remain on one foot for long enough to perform it. This is a fine adaptation for her. If I wasn’t raging at her marked stupidity for so much before this, I’d be congratulatory, but I’m sure she’ll shoot me in the proverbial rage-dick with her next bullshit clip, so my congratulations will remain firmly in my mouth and smothered with whiskey.
Hammer Curls…?: So this appears to be hammer curls. I have no idea why she’s doing these bent over. Possibly to use the pendulum motion to make the completion of the motion easier. Typically hammer curls are performed while standing upright. Whatever, no real issue here.
Anna should invest in a fucking weight belt to support her spine given that she has no appreciable core strength. Except now that I think about it, she’d have to get one sized for a damned polar bear, and I don’t think they make those.
Walking with overhead dumbbells: No issue. Except she’s letting her right arm sag down a bit. But given her arm flubber, that’s an appreciable effort.
Seated on the bench, she tells us that the first set is done. She’s gasping for breath and says it wasn’t as hard as she thought it would be. Then she repeats with all the same fucking issues I’d pointed out before. And does some lame dance shit.
Huh what’s this in this second set? First set, she didn’t show the side to side… are those side lunges? Adapted side lunges? You aren’t supposed to dip forward and use your arms to straighten your body when you do those. I honestly have no fucking clue. I THINK they’re supposed to be side lunges, but they’re like no side lunge I’ve ever seen.
Second set, those dumbbells during her walk are definitely nowhere as high. They’re right above her shoulders with zero arm extension. Anna, this is a signal that you’re using too heavy of a weight.
And now she’s walking while pumping them overhead, using her steps to help her push them up. The fuck. I don’t know if each direction was supposed to incorporate a different arm workout (full extension, ‘clean’ position, alternating overhead press), but this isn’t at all what she showed on the first set. Not that I have an issue with it, but typically all sets are identical to target the same muscle groups. Fatigue is indeed normal (and desirable), but that doesn’t mean the exercise should be altered (except, perhaps, lowering the weight used) - this is a good data point to tell you that when you perform your exercise set again, start at a lower weight if you’re unable to repeat your set identically all times, because accumulated fatigue will make that final set much more effective if you don’t have to alter anything to get through it.
… Oh. The alternating overhead presses was her idea. She says it was a bad idea as she gasps for breath, and then proclaims she’s ‘not there yet.’
Please, insert the curse words of your fancy here, because they probably all just flew through my alcohol-picked brain along with the phrase ‘fuckadoodle dandy, you flatulent flubberclit!’
She proclaims that her improper goblet squats are the worst of all the exercises for her. No shit. Because it’s being improperly done. Probably hurts like a bitch.
Does a third set. Just as incorrect as ever. Grimacing the entire time. Looking like death. Ooo, football in the background!!!
Sorry, distracted.
No issues with her stretching it out at the end.
She then blathers about how her trainer gave her the perfect first workout, because it was challenging but didn’t break her. And now she waffles around about how workouts that ‘break you’ aren’t proper. But earlier she was talking about how her workout fucking sucked and you have to push through the suck.
Whimpering about how she was afraid to start again because ‘she’s not there anymore’ (because she was never there), and how AnXiEtY keeps her from starting, and how if you suffer from anxiety you should just go do it.
And she promises to share more of this bullshit.
TL;DW/R: Anna just fucking sucks. At everything. She is a shining example of what NOT to do when it comes to exercising. She’s getting back into her workout groove shit. My liver is already sobbing, even as my tongue rejoices for there will be many tasty liquid snacks in my future.
Just random but as I was scrolling IG I had to do a double take (and not because Ferris is a senior citizen): View attachment 6439366
The woman on the far left is comedian/writer Bridget Everett. She has a show on HBO called Somebody, Somewhere. It’s ok. But damn did I think she was a slimmed down Anna for a moment. Bridget is 12 years older than Anna but aging wise I’d say they’re about the same though Bridget has much better skin.
View attachment 6439371
This would be best case scenario for Anna at this point. Not the HBO show (lord forbid) but getting down to a still obese but manageable weight.
I thought she was wearing a tiny backpack, from the way she keeps adjusting the bra straps.
there’s definitely material for a funny montage of her workouts as she gets bigger and bigger over the years, and her range of motion decreases.
also damn, the only zero calorie thing in her life are those exercises. They barely qualify as warmups.
Now that I know those big waiting room seats are "reserved" for fat fucks, I'm gonna park my skinnier ass there and make myself at home. Gonna put my feet up, dangle my shoes over the edge, and give my long-suffering arthritic ankles a break while I read*. Because, yes.....I do need the entire freaking seat, Anna. Deal with it.
* - unless someone disabled/with little squirmy kids needs it, because while I'm an asshole, I'm not that much of an asshole.
More of these types of posts on Threads.
Who are these people? she either cares or doesn’t care what people think but she sure needs validation and head pats. She has this huge privilege of tossing money at her ‘problems’ without the burdens of regular work or a family.
Anna, people can’t see what you don’t show them. If you’re doing vibratory plate shit, let’s see it, for example.
About her still to come surgeries, she mentions her calves. It just never occurred to me she was having that done. Maybe because I never waste time thinking about her upcoming surgeries.
But now that I think about it, THAT is going to be very painful and lead to a lot of couch/bed time.
her workouts are so ridiculous,wtf is wrong with this person,all she has to do is daily walks,she has 400 extra pounds on her back,now isnt the time for dumbell workouts,its the time to walk and burn calories and diet.
Had about 4 months of catching up to do so I’m late on this, but after all this time I can’t believe we finally got a close up of the legendary Ol’ Blackie!
More of these types of posts on Threads.
Who are these people? she either cares or doesn’t care what people think but she sure needs validation and head pats. She has this huge privilege of tossing money at her ‘problems’ without the burdens of regular work or a family. View attachment 6444111
"They don't see my work!!!" No but if you were actually doing it then people would see that your "body is changing," as you've been insisting for over a year. But it isn't.
What people "don't see" are your wishes and dreams magically manifesting themselves into reality, because that isn't happening, either. Anna btfo because what she wants is hitting the wall called "reality" harder than ever, no matter how much money she throws at it
More of these types of posts on Threads.
Who are these people? she either cares or doesn’t care what people think but she sure needs validation and head pats. She has this huge privilege of tossing money at her ‘problems’ without the burdens of regular work or a family. View attachment 6444111
"They don't even see the visible change to my body."
What change, Anna? What change? Any changes I can see are either so insignificant they're hardly worth noting, or can be easily chalked up to the fact you've got all of your candy juice packed down tight in medical-grade compression garments.
This is the craziest Emperor's New Clothes gaslighting bullshit, I swear to god—she keeps insisting that her body has visibly changed, and that anybody who can't see it is just a hater, but we have eyes, Anna, and years of photos you yourself have posted, and there is no fucking difference.
And of course we don't see her on the vibration plate, in the inflatable compression suit, showing off her allegedly improved mobility, or how she's made changes in her diet, because she never shows us those things. We do, however, see her continuing to go out of her way to eat highly-caloric trash that is not part of an anti-inflammatory diet. She shoved two fully-loaded Sonoran hot dogs in her face, and wants to cry about "the one time I ate a hot dog," and how it's her genetics that are to blame?
She is thoroughly detestable. I'm glad she's finally getting more of the attention, commentary, and criticism she deserves.
