🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Copper Dingus]

Is this skin cancer? Does Ralph have carcinomas all over his face?

It looks like seborrheic dermatitis. He likely can't afford the treatment (it's $15 a month).

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

His DSP beef is so one-sided it's actually sad (pathetic)

Every beef is one-sided. He's not even worth anyone's time anymore.

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

None of us would even know Xander exists or Rozy exists without Ralph sharing that information with the entire Internet and he did that because he's a fucking retard.

He did the same with Rozy and the subsequent one that immediately flushed itself out after he flashed the positive pregnancy test.

 

[Lidl Drip]

He did the same with Rozy and the subsequent one that immediately flushed itself out after he flashed the positive pregnancy test.

He can not even phantom the idea of just keeping your private life private. It's not like he's a proper celebrity that has paparazzi waiting at every corner trying to see what he's up to, he could easily have had a private life completely separate from his public persona, in fact he might even have a happy thriving family if he had never dragged them into his internet bs, but he has no self control at all and everything he does is to impress strangers on the Internet. It's so pathetic.

 

[reptile baht spaniard rid]

everything he does is to impress strangers on the Internet. It's so pathetic.

It’s worse. It’s to own dah haturhs.

He knows deep down he can’t impress anyone so he just tries to own the haters in the way he’d hate to be owned.

Little does he realize that sobering up and actually not being a fat drunk retard would impress people and actually own the haters, but that’s likely impossible.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

He can not even phantom the idea of just keeping your private life private. It's not like he's a proper celebrity that has paparazzi waiting at every corner trying to see what he's up to, he could easily have had a private life completely separate from his public persona, in fact he might even have a happy thriving family if he had never dragged them into his internet bs, but he has no self control at all and everything he does is to impress strangers on the Internet. It's so pathetic.

At this point he can't keep his life private because he would have literally 0 interpersonal relationships other than with the torta guy. And nobody gives a fuck about his political takes so all he has is to squeal about his dirty laundry to get attention.

 

[Guntkvd]

Every beef is one-sided. He's not even worth anyone's time anymore.

He can't even muster enough tard rage to make it entertaining. Low energy, eepy piglet.

 

[FiveStarAce]

At this point he can't keep his life private because he would have literally 0 interpersonal relationships other than with the torta guy. And nobody gives a fuck about his political takes so all he has is to squeal about his dirty laundry to get attention.

In the milk industry exist purpose bred high performance cows. Erryday i thank dear Feeder for this splendid gift. He really outdid himself with this specimen.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

It looks like seborrheic dermatitis. He likely can't afford the treatment (it's $15 a month).

I feel like Ralph can probably manage most of his conditions just by fixing his diet. Cut down carbs, up the protein. But he’s too much of a junk slop eater it’s impossible. And a drinker, smoker, and pill abuser on top of it all. It’s little wonder he looks like he’s in his 50s while in his 30s.

In the milk industry exist purpose bred high performance cows. Erryday i thank dear Feeder for this splendid gift. He really outdid himself with this specimen.

Pure strain white trash.

 

[UCantCCPMe]

It will be bittersweet when Ralph finally kicks the bucket. On one hand, his retarded antics and insanely desperate attempts to get one up on his haters and alogs has provided endless hours of entertainment. His belligerent hollaring and squealing, screaming WWF style rants until he's red in the face and blue in the hair, was peek Ralphamale showmanship. On the other hand, once Ralph is in his cold pauper's grave, I'll finally have a place to take a good piss.

 

[HackerX]

Every beef is one-sided. He's not even worth anyone's time anymore.

Who interacts with Ralph anymore? Outside of Juju (famous for getting fucked in the ass while dressed as a cow), who treats him as a pet retard, no one else bothers to engage him. I legitimately believe Ralph is excited that DSP making fun of him because at least one person is acknowledging his existence.

He did the same with Rozy and the subsequent one that immediately flushed itself out after he flashed the positive pregnancy test.

You mean Reroll? The child conceived to spite Faith and Xander, only for Ralph to be felted when it turned out she was girl? I really do wonder why Cozy.tv Rozy never gets mentioned. I guess it could be due to legal stuff, but when has any of that stopped the Ralphamale?

He can not even phantom the idea of just keeping your private life private. It's not like he's a proper celebrity that has paparazzi waiting at every corner trying to see what he's up to, he could easily have had a private life completely separate from his public persona, in fact he might even have a happy thriving family if he had never dragged them into his internet bs, but he has no self control at all and everything he does is to impress strangers on the Internet. It's so pathetic.

Because it's all a work! If I were to think about it, it's actually YOU who has no self control and does everything to impress strangers in the Internet.

At this point he can't keep his life private because he would have literally 0 interpersonal relationships other than with the torta guy. And nobody gives a fuck about his political takes so all he has is to squeal about his dirty laundry to get attention.

Ralph isn't ronery. He's got IRL friends!!!! Ralph matters to people!!!

Pure strain white trash.

With an added dash of schizophrenia, long-gone success, and nigger worship to really give it that big pop.

 

[Vect]

He romanticizes his relationship with Xander because he never had to deal with Xander outside of very controlled 2 hour visitation sessions where Xander gets all dressed up and given an iPad.

I think he romanticizes his relationship with Xander because he realizes this probably the best outcome he could have hoped for.

Ralph's obsessed with projecting this image of hardnosed conservative masculinity, but beneath The Pig he's a weak, dysfunctional man who knows he can't, and doesn't want to be a parent, much less endure the responsibility of a family. This arrangement, where he gets to play the poor father separated from his son under "circumstances" yet still nagged for child support but still goes to heroic lengths to see and bond with his boy, already a chip off the old block, visit by visit softening his mother's cold heart, is probably the most stable semblance of fatherhood he could realistically manage. It's probably why he's quite happy to brag about what would normally be considered a source of shame to Phil, because it means so much more to Ralph to 'win' at playing a father rather than actually being one.

I don't think he could have ever had a healthy relationship with Rosie in any timeline, and it's a good thing it didn't go on for any longer. He's too much of a misogynist to have any interest in a daughter and too much of a narcissist to not want to project himself on a son, like it seems he does with Xander now. I can't really imagine a man who not so much tempts Fate as gives her the finger would have the sensibility to shop for gifts for a little girl.

I believed him when he won't kill himself to own the alogs because that's the only thing he's got going for him. TBH, it kinda solidifies the "Ralph is a women" idea. Most men would off themselves in his situation.

Men would have long before figured out that making drastic life choices based on contradicting the opinions of total strangers on the Internet isn't really paying forward that chromosome.

Bare in mind, he is basically attempting suicide with booze and drugs at pretty much every sensible opportunity.

 

[he who has thus come/gone]

Nothing more fatherly than going to see your abandoned child in a supervised facility for a very limited window of time while reeking of cigarettes. I doubt he even brushes his teeth before seeing his son. That poor kid probably gags every time Ralph steps within a few feet of him.

 

[Oh Darn]

We all know why the Copeamale uses a black and white filter... especially at airports

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WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR FAAAAAACE

 

[Mr. Manchester]

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link / archive
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View attachment 6441495 No, pedo a-log, it wasn't me who sekturized my child before it bursted out of my ex girlfriends womb, it was the cyber stalker terrorist Dox Moon who did it, a-log. Enjoy Doxbin.

The only thing Ralph has put behind him are multiple liquor bottles full of piss.

 

[Rage Pig]

 

[HackerX]

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I enjoy how Ralph has to make sure everyone knows Xander says "hey daddy" to own the alogs when anyone with a lick sense knows that's BS. Let's assume the child isn't extremely shy or timid. That child has seen him for what, 3 hours, his entire life? Xander has no idea who this strange man is, much less his daddy.

 

[bile demon]

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Any egyptologists around? What's the hieroglyph for "gunt"?

 

[AnOminous]

I enjoy how Ralph has to make sure everyone knows Xander says "hey daddy" to own the alogs when anyone with a lick sense knows that's BS.

Funny, last time he made one of these posts, he said Xander thought he was Bluey because he had dyed his hair blue like a flaming homo.

 

[Obnoxious Asshole]

Funny, last time he made one of these posts, he said Xander thought he was Bluey because he had dyed his hair blue like a flaming homo.
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"malignant influences"

First, it's "malign". Second, he's right, malign influences do keep him from visitation with his suhn. Let's count them, shall we?

-Drug addiction (his)
-Alcoholism (his)
-Risk of court service (his. I'm seeing a pattern here... )
-Lack of reliable income for traveling (his traveling. Xander didn't run from the country his daddy gave him. Yet.)
Which brings us to the big one......
-Poverty! Yes, Ralph can't visit his spawn because he is a broke ass bish who does scare! SSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEE Piggertits!