Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Haram-Habibi]

Tess should have stopped getting tats when she couldn't afford the guy who did her Miss Piggy/Dolly Parton work. All of her stuff since then looks like shit.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Tess should have stopped getting tats when she couldn't afford the guy who did her Miss Piggy/Dolly Parton work. All of her stuff since then looks like shit.

I really dislike all of the Sailor Jerry (or Jerry Sailor) ink she has done. It's not graceful or feminine to me at all.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

Getting a tattoo on your hand when you’re broke and jobless is not the best decision she could’ve made. But she’s still expecting the modeling contracts to come back any day now, so I suppose it’s fine.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't being covered in ink make it harder to get a modeling gig in the first place? My understanding is that models are essentially canvases for designers' work. Any artist would pick a blank canvas over one that's already been covered in someone else's work. Unless you're a really big name, people generally don't care about who's physically on the runway. The star of the show is the clothing, not the person.

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't being covered in ink make it harder to get a modeling gig in the first place? My understanding is that models are essentially canvases for designers' work. Any artist would pick a blank canvas over one that's already been covered in someone else's work. Unless you're a really big name, people generally don't care about who's physically on the runway. The star of the show is the clothing, not the person.

For sure it is, unless you're in the alternative/pin up scene. She ended up being the sideshow freak of fashion instead of a suppah moddel she dreamed to be.. and THAT must be a hard pill to swallow.

 

[RainbowStarlight]

Getting a tattoo on your hand when you’re broke and jobless is not the best decision she could’ve made. But she’s still expecting the modeling contracts to come back any day now, so I suppose it’s fine.

Yep was thinking the exact same thing, a hand tattoo especially one so massive, as if she needed anything else to make her even more unemployable.

 

[Gay Mouth]

She's so distraught over a dissenting opinion on her FORYEWPAYGE on TIKTAWK that she's yanking out her sideburns, mentioning she's braless and in jammies, and attacking the rando's appearance.

I don't give a rats ass one way or another, but it's funny to watch a woman who just the other day declared she's pulling girls' "hot girl card" if they don't vote like she does, absolutely spiral at 8am on a Thursday because a (skinnier) equally unwashed white trash hoe appeared before her on her phone

 

[ParasiteSteve]

More politessing in the carpool lane.

White person with dreads is the very bottom of the barrel type niggercattle from about 10 years ago. She is stuck in the past, that brief moment she had some fame and people wanted her on their shows. It was mostly to laugh at and see the fat freak, but Tess doesn't care, she just loved the attention.

 

[The Hardest R]

Once again Tubby Tess forgets her own hypocrisy, this time with that brief era where she had cornrows and playing up her (fake) Choctaw ancestry, back when she really wanted to be considered a pee oh cee.

The star of the show is the clothing, not the person.

Ryann has always made it about her. She was a novelty act and the fact she initially got away with making it all about her contributed to her massive ego.

 

[Marigold_Souci]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't being covered in ink make it harder to get a modeling gig in the first place? My understanding is that models are essentially canvases for designers' work. Any artist would pick a blank canvas over one that's already been covered in someone else's work. Unless you're a really big name, people generally don't care about who's physically on the runway. The star of the show is the clothing, not the person.

For women, absolutely. It's a bit more forgiving for men, but that's only if it's a cohesive part of their look. (Like think, shaved head /long haired edgy dude). And even then, they prefer it is the tattoos are localized to like the sleeve areas so they could be covered if needed.

 

[Constellationzero]

Tess should have stopped getting tats when she couldn't afford the guy who did her Miss Piggy/Dolly Parton work. All of her stuff since then looks like shit.

I really dislike all of the Sailor Jerry (or Jerry Sailor) ink she has done. It's not graceful or feminine to me at all.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't being covered in ink make it harder to get a modeling gig in the first place? My understanding is that models are essentially canvases for designers' work.

Once again I see another example of people on the internet ripping on a woman's tattoos, and/or the quality and subject matter of them, but

Never the FACT SHE HAS EVEN ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

And Hooves is exactly like almost EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY woman with tattoos... Say ANYTHING that is other than 1,000% adoration and approval, and suddenly tattoos is a RACIAL characteristic, congenital, and you are now a bigot racist for not liking something a person PAID FOR and made a deliberate choice to get, not thinking whether or not they might impress someone the wrong way.

And Hooves is also the type to go: "HURR DURR, pritty shure eye got da ink juss fer me, HURR DURR!"

Fantastic, boo boo.
But if/when you want to "hang out with" someone who doesn't like tattoos, be in a dating relationship, want sex from that person, or even just be a part of someone's photo...

You ARE, in fact, INFLICTING your ink on them. I honestly hope for a return to a time when getting even a small single tattoo on a woman is cause to bar her from professional jobs like nursing, doctor, flight attendant, and especially TEACHING. And I also hope for a return to a time when being a woman with a tattoo (unless you are indigenous and the tattoo has legitimate social significance within that group) becomes a SHAMEFUL thing. Because, Jesus Christ, Hooves is 500 pounds of shameful.

 

[Clotso Coof]

Her dark hand tattoo will look like a huge bruise in any photo that isn't a close up. It would have to be carefully photoshopped out of any real modeling pics she did to avoid the viewer wondering how she got that horrible hand injury. Way too distracting.

She'd have to wear gloves to cover it on the bright lights of a fashion runway if she ever walked a runway again. You can't use makeup to cover a huge dark splotch all the way across a fat hand of a fairskinned woman. Not under runway lighting, anyway.

But she’s still expecting the modeling contracts to come back any day now, so I suppose it’s fine.

She also isn't thinking about what cake johns hire her for. They might be willing to overlook more tattoos, but they certainly won't find her more desireable with a dark hand tattoo.

She can't afford to alienate the very, very few clients she might have left. There are always younger, fresher whores in the whore pipeline.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

And Hooves is exactly like almost EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY woman with tattoos... Say ANYTHING that is other than 1,000% adoration and approval, and suddenly tattoos is a RACIAL characteristic, congenital, and you are now a bigot racist for not liking something a person PAID FOR and made a deliberate choice to get, not thinking whether or not they might impress someone the wrong way.

Jesus Christ, you make it sound like we're all just raging lunatics. Calm your tits, man. Were you dumped for/by a chick with ink? Did a girl with ink kill your dog? Seriously, what's with the vitriol?

You ARE, in fact, INFLICTING your ink on them. I honestly hope for a return to a time when getting even a small single tattoo on a woman is cause to bar her from professional jobs like nursing, doctor, flight attendant, and especially TEACHING.

Am I also inflicting the purse I've carried every day for the last 6 years on others? It's a fucking picture on someone's skin. Mess's ink doesn't affect you. She is not "inflicting" it on you.

 

[FarmerKhourtney]

The pinup/rockabilly/faux burlesque look was very popular for a long time. Now I feel it’s shifting back to something else. Public opinion on tattoos always goes back and forth although they’re so commonplace now that most people wouldn’t bat an eye.

 

[TheMeanOne]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't being covered in ink make it harder to get a modeling gig in the first place?

They have a lot of makeup that can be used to cover tattoos now, but it takes time to apply. Janeane Garofalo has a lot of tattoos but they covered them when she was on I think the West Wing.

Since the Hangover, with the gag about getting the same face tattoo as Mike Tyson, people have to get clearances from the artist to use tattoos in a movie and probably in print ads too I'd guess. The tattoo artist who did Tyson's face sued the makers of the Hangover for using his design, basically, so now everyone covers their asses.

More tattoos are just not the brightest move. If most people have to choose between an actor or model who requires a lot of time in makeup and one who doesn't, it's probably going to the person who doesn't have tattoos.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

I can't really think of a big model who has tattoos or more than one.
Giselle Bundchen has a tiny star on her left wrist IIRC, and Stephanie Seymour has a flower ring around her right ankle. Those can be covered up/shopped out easily. Tess doesn't get that designers don't want massive ink scribbles taking away from their clothing.

 

[Angry New Ager]

More tattoos are just not the brightest move. If most people have to choose between an actor or model who requires a lot of time in makeup and one who doesn't, it's probably going to the person who doesn't have tattoos.

It's a given that Tess has tattoos; she's known for them, almost as much as her fatness. She first got attention as part of the 2000s Rockabilly/pinup alt-model scene, and had already accumulated a bunch of tattoos by the time she got declared "The World's First Size 22 Supermodel!"—they didn't hold her back.

Tess has never had a normal modeling career, where she had to do a lot of unglamorous catalog gigs, suburban shopping-mall fashion shows, and stock photo jobs before getting noticed and moving on to editorial shoots and high-fashion runway. She's never had to pass for normal; she was known from day one as the tatted-up fat girl with a thin-girl pretty face.

So Tess getting more tattoos is not a liability for her, and will not exclude her from getting work. If a client wants Tess, they want her because she's Tess Holliday, not because they just want a fat model, and they will take her, tatts and all.

Her career-ruining liabilities are that she's too fat to fit into anybody's clothes (and won't remedy that), has zero actual talent as a model, and has no crossover talents (she's dumb as a rock, ignorant, ill-tempered, can't talk about anybody or anything but herself, and has annoying vocal fry). Oh, yeah, and she has a reputation for being a bitch who shit-talks her clients to make herself look better (see: Eloquii).

If she was pleasant and professional to work with, reliably maintained herself at a steady size 20-22, and had learned how to speak and how to conduct a basic interview (that stayed focused on the interviewee), she'd still have a career. Maybe not a huge one, but still a viable career that paid the bills, and she'd be offered some really wonderful opportunities. But instead, she's a stupid, insufferable bitch who makes crying vids in her car because she thinks she's a real supermodel, and is shocked that nobody wants to hire her anymore.

Tess's single biggest liability is herself, and there's no fixing that. So she might as well get all the tattoos she wants, while she can still afford them; they aren't going to change anything.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

They have a lot of makeup that can be used to cover tattoos now, but it takes time to apply.

That's what I was thinking. It would take hours to get her fully covered. I imagine it's more difficult to cover tatts that are on a squishy, fat surface than it is to cover tatts on a tight, smooth surface. As in it would be easier to cover a full sleeve on a skinny model than to cover a full sleeve on someone Mess's size.

edit: spelling

 

[johnsQ]

Siam can you respond to your emails please?

Who are you?

 

[Haram-Habibi]

That's what I was thinking. It would take hours to get her fully covered

Look, if you're hiring Tess, you know she's covered in ink. The last thing you're gonna do is cover them up or photoshop them out, because in her case, that would be a distraction to the viewer.

They're not going to look at the product, they'd be wondering WTH happened to her ink.

In any case.....gimme all the trashcans if it makes you feel better, but there's very, very little ink out there that actually looks good. Tess only has the two tats that look good, the rest are shit. Tramp stamps/fart wings are a joke, along with those "tribal" tats that go around the arm. Any popular trend going around now is going to age like milk, but you're still going to be stuck with that artifact of what was once "cool".

If I had a dollar for every tatted person I know who regrets their ink, I'd be able to keep Tess in Little Debbies for a week.

"But everyone loves my ink!!" Sure they do. Behind your back, tho'.....trust me, they don't. The only ones who truly like it are 1) hopefully you, but the chances of that go down over time as it fades or you get fat and it loses definition, 2) the guy you paid to do that to you, and 3) the guy with the tattoo removal parlor in the strip mall who thinks of you as a potential client.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I can't really think of a big model who has tattoos or more than one.
Giselle Bundchen has a tiny star on her left wrist IIRC, and Stephanie Seymour has a flower ring around her right ankle. Those can be covered up/shopped out easily. Tess doesn't get that designers don't want massive ink scribbles taking away from their clothing.

I have CZ muted, how's his tattoo rant this time around, any good?