DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

Where is DSP?

  • He is in Connecticut visiting family/funeral

    Votes: 213 47.9%
  • He and Khet are on a honeymoon style trip

    Votes: 12 2.7%
  • He has an issue (s) with the HOA requiring immediate fixes

    Votes: 27 6.1%
  • Comcast/ISP/Internet Issues

    Votes: 16 3.6%
  • He is taking a Kino Casino style break by not announcing when he comes back

    Votes: 30 6.7%
  • Phil and/or Khet Health Issue

    Votes: 48 10.8%
  • This is a social experiment from DSP

    Votes: 99 22.2%

  • Total voters
    445
  • Poll closed .
He got weirdly attached because he thought the story was literally based off his own history and gave us the mail you a spoon rant. Probably my 2nd favourite moment from this year from Phil

First being Craig just dropping the "With all respect, go fuck yourself"
With how hard the writers have been going it feels like the whole spoon rant was years ago. Its to bad he never thought of adding spoons with the words "EAT IT" engraved on the handle would have actually sold pretty well.
 
There was a time when Phil would e-beg only a "few" times per stream (like 10-20 times). No way he didn't beg more than 200 times during the day stream. I would love big youtubers to react to the beg counters, particularly Cr1tikal just to see Phil either explode because he's "worse than ever" or implode because he will realize the internet still thinks he's a joke.
 
Him saying, "I would love to do it for you guys," was the icing on the cake for the Krabby Patty begging.
"Sorry, dents. I want to doordash some primo content for you, but you stingy cunts are dragging your feet. It's almost like you don't want to see a mature adult eat fast food with a pained expression on his face at an odd camera angl- I JUST RECIVEVED A FORTY-FIVE DOLLAR TIP."
 
Him saying, "I would love to do it for you guys," was the icing on the cake for the Krabby Patty begging.
"Sorry, dents. I want to doordash some primo content for you, but you stingy cunts are dragging your feet. It's almost like you don't want to see a mature adult eat fast food with a pained expression on his face at an odd camera angl- I JUST RECIVEVED A FORTY-FIVE DOLLAR TIP."
"I would love to take my top off for you guys but..."
twitch thot vibes.
 
Wow, he really thought this was it, didn’t he? He thought he was a Maximilian level streamer now, he’d basically be a part-time host on KC and the entire internet discussed him at the internet AGM and decided he was a good guy now.

And now we’re back here already. Where we were 3 months ago.

Edit - Actually we’re worse than we were before because we now have this added layer of ‘jilted stalker boyfriend’ where he hangs out in their chat for 6 hours and dresses/buys background toys to try and be like them. He’s literally the wolverine stroking the photo frame meme.
 
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There was one Yakuza where he was literally falling asleep during some of the cutscenes, and whenever he talks about the story he's usually confused, blatantly missing things, or makes the weirdest predictions
There wasn't just one. Every single Yakuza game he played he was falling asleep during cutscenes, including his most beloved 7 and 8, so much so that there's a meme clip in Snort Burnell videos that gets played whenever he played those games. And yeah, he never gets the story or the characters in those games, in Yakuza 7 when Majima and Saejima show up it took him a good half a minute to remember who the fuck they are and they're the most popular characters in the series, Majima himself being more popular in the West than even Kiryu according to Sega's popularity polls.

I would agree that he likes the general gameplay though because it's typically "press the attack button" which Phil can (usually) figure out.
That's true also, I remember @SauceRyuKen coining the term "slug'n'chug" to refer to his shitty Yakuza gameplay and it hits the nail right on the head. He just spams the same attack string or heat action until he loses enough health, then he chugs energy drinks which are the series' staple healing items. He also got into the series with 4, which is when the series became brainlessly easy. They threw a curveball with the first Kiwami game but he ended up wagequitting that game so he avoided getting assfucked by certain encounters and boss battles in that game that eliminate the slug'n'chug strategy. Not to mention, he never fought Amon in any of the brawler Yakuzas which is usually the only challenging fight in the newer Yakuza games (besides some Coliseum battles).

It's a real shame too, I remember in one of his insane narcissism segments he said that he popularized the Yakuza series in the West (he didn't, the Super Best Friends LPers did, they did a walkthrough of Yakuza 4 at a time where the Western popularity of the series was at its lowest). That couldn't be further from the truth, a lot of detractors told me that the Yakuza games look stupid and boring as fuck until I showed them how cool the combat actually is, then a lot of them came on board. He makes every game he plays look like shit.
 
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It's 12 am his time and he is live tweeting at detractors coping about his lack of views.

Kino Casino haaaalp!

Bonus PPP retweeting a dirty detractor.
Screenshot_2024-10-06_023724.jpg
 
Wow, he really thought this was it, didn’t he? He thought he was a Maximilian level streamer now, he’d basically be a part-time host on KC and the entire internet discussed him at the internet AGM and decided he was a good guy now.

And now we’re back here already. Where we were 3 months ago.

Don’t you know? People LIKE him now!

It is unbelievably satisfying to see his smugness get beaten out of him in real time. Still making excuses, hasn’t learned a fucking thing.

To see a 42 year old man, with a wife that he claims to love, hanging around in a chat, for 6 fucking hours, begging for any kind of attention and getting completely ignored is a felting fit for a king.
 
Don’t you know? People LIKE him now!

It is unbelievably satisfying to see his smugness get beaten out of him in real time. Still making excuses, hasn’t learned a fucking thing.

To see a 42 year old man, with a wife that he claims to love, hanging around in a chat, for 6 fucking hours, begging for any kind of attention and getting completely ignored is a felting fit for a king.

This just hit me: imagine being one of the dozens of people he pestered messaged about him having a "redemption arc", them checking out one of his recent streams, only to see him do the same old "Now guys, there have been NO contributions in the last 10 minutes WHATSOEVER, and we're ONLY at $58 thanks to a GENEROUS $57 tip from Pwnage_101. So please, if you'd like to see me eat a burger live on stream next week, support the stream RIGHT NOW, or else WE won't get it."

:story:
 
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There's this patter to get him exactly to $50, $70-$80, $100. Then a whale sock(s) appears to hit the goal.

He now counts SCs but the goal still acts the same. $20 from a sock to prime the tip jar, get him to exactly $50 at the end of the prestream.

When you watch his older playthroughs, the contributions come from the same people, you will hear the same names over and over. Now he has much less fans and viewers, his chat is completely dead, yet the money comes from names you never heard of or they show up once per month. 🤔
 
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I was doing my shitass daily commute and while watching one of those "autistically examine how good this game's animation is" videos a YT short about that Zen Zone Zero game's character, Jane, came out and suddendly had some sort of 'Nam flashforward about Phil playing this thing and going on a 20-to-30 minute long PuritanSydePhil style virtual fist fight with his viewers and couldnt stop smirking and trying not to burst out laughing.
I think the Snortex got me. :stress:
 
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Imagine this being your life every day, begging money from autistic dents, playing games you hate, just so you can afford to drown your sorrows in booze and hogan jpgs.
I wouldn't wish this hell upon my worst enemy.
True, but Phil deserves it. He has been a toxic asshole his entire life. This isn't Phil’s redemption arc. This is his karma arc. And may God have mercy upon his soul
 
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