Hurricane Milton

Remember to appease Hurricane Milton with a red stapler.
This. Milton also appreciates fire. Provided of course the fire does not harm the stapler. If you are in an evacuation zone and refuse to leave, you are advised to leave a Red Stapler on your front doorstep. The storm will take the stapler up into it, but not your roof.
 
Work is closed indefinitely. Looking like it's going to be Sharkando.
Bro's posting on KF as one of the strongest hurricanes of all time barrels directly towards him. Legendary.
That is the thing though. There hasn't been a big one for Tampa and Fort Meyers.
Fort Myers got fucked pretty good by Ian in 2022, so I imagine people there are probably taking it a bit more seriously. Tampa though, yeah. That's gonna be rough.
 
This picture was from about 15 hours ago. You can see the entire Gulf is very active with storms.
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Early this morning this "blob" in front of Milton started forming, and getting larger.
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As Milton gained strength, it appeared to almost "eat" this system in front of it.
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A little late to this party, but does that make Milton stronger or weaker?
 
Reposting from another site:

I'm looking at a scenario for the counties: Citrus Hardee Hernando Hillsborough Manatee Pasco Pinellas Polk Sumter (Project Phoenix Scenario)
Barrier islands are quickly overtopped, provide ~no protection.

Water up to 26 feet above tide level in downtown Tampa. Bridges have their approaches washed away or are otherwise made unusable.

Most windows blown out in high rise buildings. Along with roof damage/destruction, leads to predictable results for the structures involved.

Inland is not protected from flooding, rivers Hillsborough, Alafia, Lower Manatee, Braden, and Manatee and the Tampa Bypass Canal fill with storm surge water and flood their banks.

During the peak of the flooding, parts of central St. Petersburg and mid‐Pinellas County that are not fully flooded become effective islands. Escape is probably not possible.

General inability to operate Search and Rescue, even days afterwards. Major loss of life.
 

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I read on an obese black woman’s Tumblr once that hurricanes are whipped up by the spirits of African women who died on the slave boats as revenge on evil white Southerners. With this in mind, you dumbasses who haven’t evacuated yet should leave offerings of corn starch, sprite, and Lowry’s Seasoned Salt on your roof. Maybe you will be spared.
 
Thank God it's only the shitty part.
"Which part is that?"
"All of it!"
"Dohohoho!"
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