Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

Rick gets rude with a civilian who took one look at Rick's profile and correctly assessed his entire existence.

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That a man of Rick’s age would use the term “fauxtick” earnestly but also while seething is an indictment of the absolute state of his life lol. It cracks me up that “fauxtick” is a relevant term in his day to day life, and that he uses it thinking it will upset or insult the person he’s speaking to. Just absolutely bizarre, jobless behavior.
 
a 'splash of kendo' like his martial arts training is a fucking RPG build and he's multiclassing lmao. fucking dork.
Name: Fatrick S. Hamlinson
Race: Pigman
Class: Fat Faggot with Bitch Tits

Attributes:
STR - 3
DEX - 3
CON - 20
INT - 3
WIS - 3
CHA - 1

Abilities:
Eating - Grandmaster
Childing - Grandmaster
Making artisanal niggeroni - Grandmaster
Xeeting - Master
Paying Quasi - Master
Stand-up Comedy - Novice
Novel writing - Novice
Craftsmanship - Novice
Marksmanship - Novice
Tactics - Novice
Kendo - Novice
 
Reminder that Fatrick pretended to have a short position on $TSLA.
Wrong as always, stalker. The only short position he still holds is the one going on in his pants ever since he got too fat for the short bus at age ten minutes.
NoooOOOoooOOO child, he wouldn't. He would get his face mauled off after trying to child a bear. Wait for the knock.
What did the bears ever do to you to wish such a fate upon one of theirs? That's just plain animal cruelty and I won't stand for it.

The real threat of Pat is his typing speed though, which is impressive if very selective, as the only words he can type blazingly fast are stalker, child, and prison. He's the fastest stalker child prisoner there is or ever has been. Also his body odor could knock out an adult walrus which is what I believe he is talking about when he says he'll disable anybody coming to his hovel.
 
You can tell the second pic is fake since
1) Rick is not nearly fat enough there
2) Even sex is too much stress on his fragile and pudgy body, unless Nicky is doing all the work. The most taxing activity he does is making pepperoni.

Also the fat literal fucker in the picture has a hell of a farmer’s tan.

There is no way piggy spends enough time outdoors to get that.
 
While we were shitposting on the internet, he was studying the blade.
"A splash of kendo"

What the fuck does that even mean? Does it mean he can swing a katana because he's watched a bunch of jap movies, because besides going to a rennaissance faire or some kendo hustler giving out sample classes at his YMCA gay gym I can't think of anything else that makes sugar tits "know a splash of kendo."

He's just so insufferably urbanite. He's the kind of guy who'll eat Japanese not because he actually likes it, but just to look open-minded and progressive. In his heart of failing hearts, he'd rather be pigging out on burgers and watching ball games but nah, he's got this Milwaukean blue city cuck image to uphold to all of the pest childs.
 
Rick is definitely a Drakkar Noir guy.
I think given the kind of person he is he'd just spray himself down with some Axe body spray and call it a day. I doubt he even does a post wash at a convention or even a hooker wash so all you smell is a layer of BO, private sweat, and Axe.
 
Is you finished or is you done? Very very sassy.
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The fight of the century, a man with the weight of the world behind him (get it, because he's fat), or a man who faked his way to the top.
 
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Unfortunately Rick, the last good man, can't do everything. Abandoning his daughter and then ineffectually seething on Twitter for a decade is taxing enough.
Rick only wanted to murder woman (his ex wife), not women, giving him the moral high ground versus the supreme court. Another Tomlinson technicality win, stalker childs on suicide watch.
 
I think given the kind of person he is he'd just spray himself down with some Axe body spray and call it a day. I doubt he even does a post wash at a convention or even a hooker wash so all you smell is a layer of BO, private sweat, and Axe.
Honestly a person as joyless as Rick probably grooms with the cheapest shit: $2.99 bottles of Prell and whatever bar soap was on sale at Target.

And Pat still stinks of literal shit all day because he goes commando in the same pair of jeans for days in a row. Imagine how swampy that raft ass is.
 
I think given the kind of person he is he'd just spray himself down with some Axe body spray and call it a day. I doubt he even does a post wash at a convention or even a hooker wash so all you smell is a layer of BO, private sweat, and Axe.
Rick doesn't shower. He doesn't bathe. He just eats. He emits a stench everywhere he walks. He has body odor. He has bad breath. He's fat. He doesn't even put on Axe body spray, he just naturally smells like that, and also smells like piss, and smells like shit, because he never wipes his ass.

He smells like obesity. You may not think that obesity has a smell, but it's the smell Rick has. If you are ever unfortunate enough to be within a mile of Rick, you will suddenly realize obesity has a smell, and it is the smell of Rick.

Also he's fat. And he smells. Of fat.
And Pat still stinks of literal shit all day because he goes commando in the same pair of jeans for days in a row. Imagine how swampy that raft ass is.
And he doesn't even wear underwear. He even admits that. He's a foul shit-stinking subhuman who doesn't even wear underwear. Imagine the skidmarks on his jeans. He is wearing jeans with his own shit smeared all over them, and it stinks. And everyone around him is disgusted and repulsed by the stench of his feces.
 
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And he doesn't even wear underwear. He even admits that. He's a foul shit-stinking subhuman who doesn't even wear underwear. Imagine the skidmarks on his jeans. He is wearing jeans with his own shit smeared all over them, and it stinks. And everyone around him is disgusted and repulsed by the stench of his feces.
Hey now, he still has Nicky. Let's just say she got accustomed to the smell, especially with what she does in her free-time.
 
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The fight of the century, a man with the weight of the world behind him (get it, because he's fat), or a man who faked his way to the top.
Fatrick and Seagal have a lot of similarities. Besides being delusional, fat and narcissistic, both of them are experts in aikido. Their fatness also aids them in performing many gunt-based techniques along with some other classic techniques that Seagal shows off in his movies, such as sitting down, not looking where he's shooting, and speaking like he's out of breath all the time due to being fat. Seagal's movies and Fatrick's books are both snooze-inducing pieces of media which look like they were written by a fat (atalker) child, along with having childishly generic titles like Code of Honor or In the Black. Both of these porcine individuals are also pretty much universally hated, disgusting balls of fat which are repulsive both from within and without and they're both seen as jokes by anyone but the most mentally feeble individuals.

If Fatrick ever wrote and acted in movies Seagal's portfolio is a good example of what they would look like - puerile power fantasies where he hangs out at strip clubs, eats a lot, fucks hot chicks half his age, then beats up and shoots stalker children, after which he makes the head bad guy enjoy prison, all without getting hit once throughout the movie. A 3 minute scene where at least 2 characters give him a verbal blowjob by listing all the badass military accomplishments that his character achieved is another must. Also, he'd only be on screen for like 15% of the entire movie while some other dude is the de facto main character, but he'd still give himself top billing on the movie poster just like Seagal does for his audiovisual monstrosities.

Only big difference? Seagal is a Putinchud while Fatrick is a Ukrainesister. The battle of those two rotund gentlemen would be legendary and it would be decided by whoever eats the most food at the post-shoot buffet.
 
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Who are you kidding Fatrick. You saw Aikido and thought it was an Asian restaurant, you only went in to see if you could get Pad Thai or some Pho.
You saw Krav Magra and thought "Hell yeah I could go for some Falafel"

I can only imagine the look of horror on his face when he waddled into these places in search of sustenance only to realise it involved physical exercise and no food.
 
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