How Do You All Cooe When Your Brain Tells You That You Aren't X Enough?
TRIGGER WARNING
Possible TW - discussions of dysphoria and mental health - I'm having a really rough time at the moment
Hey everyone,
I've had a horrible couple of days of depression and dysphoria.
For me, as a trans feminine person, I can fall into big pits of this. I was hoping starting HRT would put me at ease, but now I have started it feels so hard to stop my brain.
I constantly get horrible thoughts of being too old to present, dress and experience the world how I would like to (I'm not even really that old at 31 - 32 next month - but there's a whole section of life that I want to experience and never will be able to. That though is crushing and all consuming).
I find it very hard to find good things about myself and I feel very bitter towards myself, and also others. I feel filled with all these ugly emotions that I don't want. I just want to feel confident and happy, but I don't understand how to self-soothe to get there.
When I try to do things like shave and self-care, I just take one look at me and think "who am I kidding?" "This doesn't look good." This then sends me into despair, because if it doesn't feel good, it feels like it must be wrong and so I end up completely unable to help myself
Please, does anyone have any advice for how to self soothe dysphoria and try to stop your thoughts from constantly beating you down and criticising you at every turn?
Emily x